Many thanks to Featherfire, who inspired this rant and contributed most of the ideas.

I have received many questions concerning the marketing aspect of My Little Pony, and here I intend to provide a blanket answer.

Now, I may know everything there is to know, but I am after all only three years old and cannot begin to explain the peculiar behavior of the Hasbro company at some times.  Their marketing executives must either have been lower down on the food chain than dirt, or they were trying desperately to squelch the money-making potential of My Little Pony products and aggravate their clientele to death, all in one fell swoop.

Some of the questions I have received run along these lines:
 

Why weren't some of the cool MLP varieties that were sold in Europe sold here also?  They     got the Cookery Ponies and the Jewellery Babies and the Bedtime Newborns, and we got weird things like the Flower Fantasy and Colorswirl Ponies.  My Little Pony would have lasted a lot longer if we had been able to buy some of the UK stuff here.

Why wasn't Danny ever sold as a doll?  Like maybe with a boy pony?  Were they afraid little girls wouldn't want to buy the boy?  Little girls who probably have twenty Ken dolls apiece??

Why were the MLP Tales characters sold only outside the U.S. when the series only aired on U.S. Cable?  And why were the girls marketed, but not the boys?  Furthermore, why were several of the one-time Tales characters marketed under altered and strange names (e.g. the Barrington family became the Berrytown family)?  Were the names on the show not sickeningly sweet enough to theoretically attract little girls?  Geez, did they ever screw up that show.

Speaking of Family and Friends, why were the Daddies (as well as rumored males Sport Time and Baby Schoolbag, among others) made with traditionally female molds, such as the Shady mold?  Was someone trying to make a statement about gender barriers?  Or did some henpecked housewife sneak into the Hasbro factory and smash the Clydesdale molds as an act of rebellion?

Speaking of gender confusion, did anybody else kind of wonder when all of the boy ponies came with ribbons?  Is dressing in drag really appropriate for the playthings of small girls?

I could go on and on, but it will suffice to say that whoever either approved all of this stuff, didn't approve it, or figured, "Hey, they're kids!   They'll never notice!"  has the brain of a paramecium.  If any of you former MLP executives has a different opinion, I would luuuuuuuuv to hear from you!  I dare ya.