Dear Baby Ribbon:

I've always wondered, what's the deal with the Dream Beauties?  If they are "all grown up My Little Ponies," then does that make ordinary ponies like your mother kids?  And what does that make you?

Lori in Louisiana

Dear Lori:

Two words:  Oh brother!  I'll bet you bought one of those computers that is guaranteed to get your kids into MIT someday.  Lori, dear, do not believe everything you hear on TV!!  For that matter, things you read on the Net are pretty ques--uh, never mind.  Anyway, Dream Beauties are not "all grown up" My Little Ponies.  And leave my mother out of this, please.

Dream Beauties are just a different kind of Little Pony, as are those little sprite-looking guys from Friendship Gardens (in my opinion, Mother Nature has taken poetic license to an unhealthy level in both instances).  When it became obvious that I was too firmly rooted to my soapbox to make an objective call in this issue, I consulted an outside source. 

Says Princess Sparkle, chair of the department of Equine Taxonomy at DVUP (Dream Valley University at Ponyland), "There are four principal subspecies of Equus magicus (i.e., My Little Ponies):  the original Little Ponies, the 'new' Little Ponies, the Flutter Ponies, and the Dream Beauties.  Some experts have created a fifth, the Petite Ponies, but most of us 'in the know' classify the Petite Ponies as being a branch from the original Little Ponies."

"Diversity among Little Ponies can be a very touchy subject, and, as sophisticated as we think we are, prejudice runs rampant." adds Princess Tiffany, professor of Cultural and Genetic Diversity at DVUP.  "They are technically different breeds, but it sounds much nicer to refer to them as 'cousins.'"

Well, whatever, Tiffany.  Fortunately, I have an open mind to ponies who are different than myself, and therefore have absolutely no prejudice towards either those big, skinny, Amazon donkeys or those silly, frenetic, newfangled little pixies.  Just so long as they keep to themselves.  Flutter Ponies are okay.  But unicorns RULE!