Interlude: Before Dinner
Author's Note: Please do not read if you are under 17 years old. I promise that thsi part will be explained in the next chapter.
Buffy giggled as she talked with her Aunts Yvette and Laura."And then it was so weird to find what kind of animals that the guys turned out to be. You *really* thought that it was an American thing?"
"Well, there is a belief in England that American society is far less structured than the English,"Aunt Yvette said primly, though her blue eyes twinkled."So we were quite willing to accept strange customs when we got here."
"Accept strange customs my fan-ah, I mean, boot, Laura. You were ready to go into apoplexy,"Aunt Laura chuckled as she slid a glance at her in-law."It was actually very hysterical in the limo, Elizabeth. The men were trying to cover our innocent feminine eyes as we drove though your little town."
Buffy laughed."Oh, I bet that would have been a sight to see! A town of naked men running around for cover!"
"It was a sight to see, never knew that living on a Hellmouth could be so revealing,"Aunt Laura beamed at her grand-neice."It was especially a sight to see all your men in their birthday suits! Lucky we're all family!"
"Angel didn't think so!"Buffy laughed."And I think Giles is still trying to recover!"
"I think that he's still trying to recover from Nana thinking that he was having a male orgy in the house,"Aunt Yvette chuckled."And such a becoming shade of red he was!"
*****
The walkman around his head and playing loudly, Spike glared at the ceiling as he laid naked in his bed. It was bad enough he was turned into a raccoon at Peaches's lame bachelor party, it was worse to have *Beth's family* of all people, find him butt naked. But it was outside enough that he wasn't getting any sleep from all the racket that the Slayer and her two old biddy aunts were making. But then again, it was alot better than having some fifty odd, and they were really odd, Carruthers looking as if they wanted to stake you as soon as they looked at you. Thank Mum that she made them all leave after saying hello, he wasn't looking forward to fighting all them buck naked.
And though it grated on his nerves, he was *extremely* glad that he had stood behind Mum who faced that battalion down and forced them to leave him alone, or else they could take a flying walk. It was worth it to see all them do-gooders be faced down by a small bit of a thing like Mum. Now if he could only forget that she was preggers with that Watcher's kid. But at least he still had that red powder for the idiot's dad. Maybe he'd give the Slayer’s 'Daddy' an extra dose of it, for all the trouble the idiot made for Mum.
Another giggle pierced the music the walkman was playing, and Spike glared up at the ceiling."WILL YOU THREE STOP BLOODY GIGGLING? SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"
*****
Angel grumbled as he shifted in the closet uncomfortably when he heard Buffy giggle. Then removed from under him a shoe that was digging into his back. Damn the girl, she still had no clue that he could hear everything that she was saying even though she was a floor down. And he could hear her laughing with her aunts, and it was making him hard. And frustrated.
With a low growl, Angel shifted again in the tight closet, and squeezed his eyes shut. He had better get some sleep. It was going to be a long evening. And he still had to face Buffy's family. This time fully clothed. Angel sighed. It was going to be a *long* five hours. And then he heard Buffy giggle again. And he groaned as he turned on his side, trying to get comfortable, despite the shoes digging into his side.
*****
Whistler yawned as he flopped over on his stomach on the bed. He was starving. But he couldn't go out of his room. Not because the sun was still shining, that wouldn't have hurt him much as long as he stayed out of direct light. And certainly not because he was scared of walking out buck naked of the room. It was because he was sure that the Slayer would give him a bad case of food poisoning along with her offer cooking something for him. And if her aunts were something like the Slayer, that was something to be aware of.
Whistler rolled to look at the clock. Five more hours until the rehearsal dinner party started, and five until the Watcher and the Slayer's mom would get out of bed. Whistler sighed as his stomach started growling again. Oh well, if he couldn't get to sleep or something to eat, he might as well plan on how to get the idiot off the Slayer's worry list. Or rather Angel's ass. There was still that vampire contract on the idiot that was driving everyone crazy. well, at least he still had that blue potion.
*****
Willow yawned delicately as she nuzzled against Oz's still form. Automatically Oz wrapped his arms around her as he kissed the top of her head."Still sleepy?"
"Yeah,"Willow smiled as she kissed him."Think it was a great idea to close the shop today."
Oz smiled sleepily as he hugged her."And especially worth it. None of us were willing to work after last night's adventure."
Willow opened one eye."Let alone this morning's. I still can't believe that we saw Snyder naked! I'm still shuddering from the memory of it!"
"How about if we replace it with a better memory?"Oz said as he pulled his wife on top of him."Unless you think it's gonna hurt the baby?"
Willow grinned at him."Since I read somewhere that the baby feels everything the mom does, I think we'd better calm me down by trying to get rid of my horror at seeing Snyder in the nude."
"Your wish is my command,"Oz said before he kissed her.
*****
"I can still see him,"Cordelia moaned as she buried her head into Xander's chest."Those huge ears, that ugly little troll face with the pug nose. Ugh! I'm scarred! I still can see him!"
Xander pulled Cordelia closer to him as he tried to soothe her. She shuddered again as she wrapped her arms around him."There, there, honey. It wasn't so bad, at least you didn't have a full view of the man's scrawny little ass. Now *that's* an image that I'm trying to forget!"
Cordelia pulled away from Xander and glared at him."Do you mind! Like I need another disgusting image like that running through my head! Just like the stuck images of every other physically defected person in this town! I'm *trying* to repress!"
"No kidding,"Xander murmured."Let me help repress the memories."
Xander bent down to kiss her, then yelped. He glared at her as he touched his mouth, and glanced at his thumb to see a smear of blood."What was that for?"
"You're more energetic in bed when you're angry,"Cordelia said smugly."And I need a lot of energy to get rid of all these gross images in my head."
Xander rolled his eyes."You could have just told me that instead of biting my lip. Now it's sore."
Cordelia pulled him closer."Let me kiss it to make it better."
*****
Faith yawned as she walked over to the bathroom. Then tripped and scowled.”Amy! Hey, Roomie! Get your ass up!”
Amy’s bleary eyes poked out from her bedroom.”What? What’s the deal?”
“How many times have we spoke about blocking the way to the bathroom with your junk?”Faith scowled at her as she lifted a black cloak.”And what is this black sheet doing here? And why are my sneakers here?”
Amy yawned as she returned into her room.”It’s there because I missed the laundry basket as for your sneakers, your deal. Not mine. I’m going back to sleep. Stupid Slayer. Waking people up after an all nighter.”
“Dumb witch,”mumbled Faith as she headed into the bathroom.”Wish she’d stayed as a tree.”
*****
"Is Dad really going to be safe at the resort?"Buffy asked as she looked at her aunts."I mean, it is a public place."
Aunt Laura shrugged."Not at this moment. It's now a home for some sixty some odd people, and your Uncle David and cousins are right now creating a ward against vampires. The id-, I mean, your father should be safe as long as he doesn't wander off of the resort grounds."
"And, if he does, he'll have somebody with him,"Buffy finished with satisfaction. "Well, at least that's one worry of our minds, at least mine. I think Nana and Mom were ready to feed him to the vamps, except Giles was thinking that he would give them indigestion and make them more angrier at me. Wonder if he'll remember what happened last night and this morning?"
Aunt Laura smiled at Buffy complacently as she slid a sly glance at Yvette."I wouldn't worry about your father or his memory. I think that he's going to use the natural solution of selective memory and believing it was all a bad dream. Especially the part of finding himself outside, in a tree with a naked man at the bottom of it. And all the Carruthers finding him like that."
Buffy giggled though she felt guilty."Think that's going to give him a complex?"
"Certainly not,"Aunt Laura sniffed as she crossed her fingers behind her."And you shouldn't worry about your father, he will be cared for. Until the wedding that is. And then, as Rupert says, all bets are off. And I do know that Nana went along to impress on his mind what is to be expected of him."
"But enough of this serious talk," said Aunt Yvette as she looked at Buffy and smiled."So what are you wearing to the party?"
"I'm wearing this wonderful dress that me, Mom and Nana found at the mall. It was mega expensive, and Mom wasn't going to let me get it, but Nana bought it for me. It’s a nice velvet deep blue sheath dress,"Buffy said as she gushed at her aunts."Do you want to see it?"
"Of course we do,"they said in unison. Buffy giggled again and then raced upstairs to her room. Laura Carruthers the looked at Yvette Carruthers.
"Well, do you think it's finished?"
"We gave them enough time. So it should be."
"Good. Then that means one less worry for Elizabeth. And Joyce. Though I think that my idea of changing him would have been more appropriate, especially after the fiasco he had caused."
"Really, Laura. Making the man into an amoeba would have only caused questions. Besides, he could have been flushed down the toilet if left on his own, then Elizabeth would have been very upset. Not to mention who would have had to go into the sewers and find the bloody idiot.The idiot still is, after all, her father. Besides, if he replicated as an amoeba, we would have stupid amoebas taking over the sewer system, and who would want that?"
“Yes, you’re right. Only the idiot would do something that stupid,”Laura laughed as she nodded. Then the two women heard a scream.
*****
Turning over on to his back, Angel sighed as he looked up and saw Buffy smiling at him. He pulled her over to give him a deep kiss, then moaned into her mouth when he felt her small hand make teasing circles on his stomach. Breathing in deeply, he could smell her familiar and intoxicating scent. He moaned into her mouth again,"Buffy..."
Buffy giggled as her hand went lower to cup his hardness, and then lightly squeezed him through the pants he had borrowed from Giles. In retaliation, Angel snaked his hand under her tank top and teased her nipple into hardness. Then it was Buffy who moaned into his name into his mouth.
As he moved his head down to her neck, Buffy started stroking him lightly. He gasped when he felt her lower the zipper and slip her hand inside, cupping him. Making him harder than he already was, her small hand, soft like velvet and relentless as she started pumping him. Angel lightly bit her neck in an effort to muffle the growls coming from his chest. Buffy only chuckled huskily as she stroked him harder, faster.
Angel gripped her shoulder as he could feel the pressure building inside him."Buffy..."
Buffy laughed wickedly into his mouth as she continued to squeeze him tightly.
*****
Spike frowned as he looked at the ceiling. Something odd was going up in the Slayer’s room. He narrowed his eyes when he heard growls coming from the closet? And footsteps? What was going on up there?
*****
Whistler lifted his head up when he smelled a familiar odor penetrate his thoughts. He sniffed again, then groaning, he covered his head with the pillow."Aw, shit. Not again. And this was the only place that didn't have the smell. Angel!"
*****
Angel roared as he spilled himself into Buffy's hand. Panting, he pulled her over him and stroked her soft skin.”Buffy...”
"Angel! What's wrong?"Buffy shouted as she opened the closet door. "What happened? You roared!"
Angel froze as he saw Buffy standing over him, fully clothed. He looked down and saw one of her dresses lying wrapped around him. His yellow eyes shot at Buffy's face, and his dead heart sank.
Buffy looked down at her fiancee in horror, then she screeched at him."MY DRESS! MY VELVET BLUE DRESS! ANGEL!!"
Buffy yanked the dress off of him, not caring that he winced when she yanked it off of him. Buffy's jaw dropped as she stared at it in horror when she realized that it was horribly crushed and there were several large wet stains on it. And it smelled..."What happened? Why is it wet? What are these-oh, no...Angel. Tell me that you didn't..."
Angel stood tried to look innocent as he looked at her. And tried to zip his pants up without her noticing."Didn't what?"
Buffy shoved the dress in his face, her face red."Didn't jack off on the dress that I was going to wear tonight. Angel, I am going to murder you..."
*****
‘He did what?’ Spike thought increduously as his jaw dropped.’Peaches gave himself a hand job?’
*****
Joyce lifted her head up tiredly as she heard Buffy scream, and then heard the pounding of feet as they raced into Buffy's room.
"You aren't you going to go see what happened, are you?"asked the drowsy voice of her husband as he tightened his hold on her.
Joyce hugged her husband closer to her as she yawned."Nope. Think that I'll let Aunt Laura and Aunt Yvette handle what just happened. I need my sleep, and so does the baby."
"Smart woman,"Giles yawned as he nuzzled his wife's neck, pulling her closer to him and his growing hardness."Does this mean that you don't want to cuddle any more this afternoon?"
Joyce kissed her husband as she rolled on top of him."I never said that. Did you know that women need more cuddling when pregnant? A lot more cuddling?"
“Oh really?”Giles smiled as he pulled a hair from her mischievous face.”How much more cuddling are we talking about?”
Joyce pretended to ponder the question seriously as she suggestively rubbed her pelvis against his.”Well, when I was carrying Buffy, Hank could only manage to get in the mood for cuddling every other night, at the most. And we cuddle at least once a night... How many times a night are you willing to be in the mood now that I’m pregnant?”
Giles cocked an eyebrow as he rolled Joyce over and entered her.”Darling, since before the idiot moved in for the wedding, I’ve been perennially in the mood.”
*****
Breathless, Aunt Laura and Yvette raced into the room.
"Elizabeth! What happened? We heard you scream,"Aunt Laura gasped as she gripped the door jamb and Aunt Yvette leaned against her.
Buffy, her face filled with outrage, looked at her aunts. Waving the dress wildly about her, she pointed to the closet."He-he ruined my dress! The one I was going to wear tonight!"
"Now, honey, I said that I'm sorry,"said a voice coming from the closet."It just, I just, I couldn't help it. I'll replace it. As soon as the sun sets. Honest, honey..."
Buffy glared at the closet as Aunt Laura interrupted."I take it that Angel is in there?"
Buffy nodded as she glared at the closet. Angel answered."Yes, I am. And please stay where you are, If I'm going to be killed, I want it to be private."
"Damn right I'm going to kill you,"Buffy shouted as she waved the dress that had his stains all over it in front of him again."I cannot believe you did this! First you take my underwear, and now you did this to my dress?!? How could you shake your willie in there!"
"Buffy!"Angel roared from the closet."There are people here! Your aunts! SPIKE STOP LUGHING! WHISTLER, SHUT UP! And I did NOT shake my willie in your closet!"
"They're family!"Buffy shouted back, her small face furious."And you did so masturbate in there! What do you call these wet marks? Bleach spots? Hair gel? What am I supposed to wear tonight?"
“BUFFY!”
Aunt Yvette started laughing as Aunt Laura rolled her eyes."Can the damage be fixed?"
Buffy scowled at her aunt."Not unless you can get-"
"Buffy! NO! IT CANNOT BE FIXED!"Angel shouted from the closet as he grabbed the dress from Buffy's hands and yanked it from her."Can you take Buffy out shopping? I'll reimburse you later. As soon as the sun sets and I get some clothes and money."
Aunt Yvette pulled Buffy towards her."Come dear, let us get a new dress. And Angel?"
"Yes?"
"Do you want us to get you a dress and ladies underwear as well?"
Angel groaned loudly, then scowled at the floor.”SPIKE! SHUT UP!”
Fin.
