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19 things to do in the bathroom stall: Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

A Burglar



19 things to do in the bathroom stall: Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate


1.Stick yor palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silience with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toliet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known song on your butt cheeks over and over again.

17. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down a "Cross-Dressors Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".





A BURGLAR


A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching YOU!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching YOU!"

Freaked out, he shined the light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who are you?"

"Moses," replied the parrot.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot ' Moses'?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus," the parrot answered.





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