Star Wars Bible.. The New (old) Testiment 1 - Let there Be Lightsabers.
The First Book of Tar-kiin, called DEE-F STAR.
CHAPTER 1:
1 And many stars away on the small metal moon, called Dee-f star, there was much arguing
and annoyance. Tag did sayeth unto Mot-ee Until this battle station is fully operational,
thybe vunerable. And Mot-ee did reply by saying Thy danger is inherent to thou fleet, not
thy battle station. And Tag did say Thy rebellion will continue to gain a support in the
council until.. and he was interupted by Tar-kiin whom sayeth to all Thy have just recieved
word from the Emperor that thou council has been disbanded, and each governer has control
o'er their own systems.
2 And it came to pass that there was much discussion on the subject, and Mot-ee was not
impressed. And Va-da did see the lack of unimpressness upon Mot-ee and did question him
about it. And Mot-ee did anger Va-da by rebuking him, and calling him a silly man. And
Va-da did shut down Mot-ee's breathing and told him that will serve him right. And
Tar-kiin did see this, and it was not good. And Tar-kiin did bade Va-da to release Mot-ee,
and Va-da did so, as there was still good within him. And Tar-kiin did decide to see
Lay-ar and Va-da did go along as well.
3 And Va-da did enter Lay-ar's private prison without knocking, and Lay-ar was angry, but
whence she saw Va-da, her eye's did light up, and she did become smitten once more, and
did do whatever Va-da did ask her to, except grass up her mates. And Va-da was angry.
4 And Va-da did go and see Tar-kiin and did tell Tar-kiin that Lay-ar was not doing as she
was told, and Tar-kiin was not happy. And he said unto Va-da Perhaps a more purswsive
method would be useful And Va-da did not understand, but did what Tar-kiin asked. And he
did bring Lay-ar to him. And Tar-kiin was smitten with Lay-ar, and Lay-ar was smitten with
Va-da and Va-da was smitten with the coffee machine in the corner of the room.
5 And Lay-ar would still not stitch up her mates, and Tar-kiin did threaten her with going
back to her cell with no food, and Lay-ar was not convinced, so Tar-kiin did explode her
home planet, and Lay-ar was angry. And Va-da was angry because he had just bought a
holiday home there. And Lay-ar did confess that the rebel base was on Dant-oo-ine, and not
really on Yar-vin. And Tar-kin and Va-da was fooled.
6 And time did pass and Tar-kiin got word that he had been conned, and he was angry. And
he bade Va-da to kill Lay-ar, and Va-da wandered off to do so. But was caught up by other
matters.