Listen ye up, Mortals! Shall we recap? Presidential Inauguration? Done! Oscar Night? Done! The St. Paul, Minnesota Winter Carnival? Done! Super Bowl Sunday in Tampa, Florida? Done! Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA? Done! Mardi Gras in New Orleans? Done --- but I'm keeping up our link to those profiles of both Thomas Westfeldt II, Rex, King of Carnival 2009 and his fair Queen, Nellie Munro Brown! The Celebrate Santa Convention and Holly & Shamrock St. Patrick's Day Parade in Gatlinburg, Tennessee? Done! Tartan Week and its accompanying Tartan Saturday Afternoon Parade? Done! And finally, despite a few violent gusts of wind, I showed off me ugly mug at the Easter Promenade on 5th Avenue! Meanwhile, we continue to honor the first days of the reign of ye Tudor Dynasty's Byg Kaehunae, with festivals and adventures taking place both within and beyond the walls of Hampton Court Palace!

Indeed, our Tudorish birthday boy hath a message for ye who would dare fail to do Scarborough Faire! I can only say, my dears: YOU HAVE BEEN WARN'D!

As fer ye Hobbit fans, the live-action Hobbit movie is a definite go; we're STILL waiting for Guillermo del Toro to get off his bloomin' butt and write the expletive deleted script, which Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh are executive producing. Ian McKellen has re-upped for Gandalf (duh!), as has Andy Serkis for Gollum (duh! again!); meanwhile, no word as yet as to whether Ian Holm will return as Bilbo (which he better, say I!). Head for TheHobbitBlog.com for the most up-to-the-microsecond updates!

I just may --- may, mind ye! --- make a return engagement to do AIDS Walk New York! Scheduled for (it figures!) May 17th, the journey to Central Park and back had your humble Dragonmaster's toesies screaming rather harshly; a year removed from my debut appearance thither, I'm still paying for it, blarst it all! (At least, we raised some $7 million for Gay Men's Health Crisis and other AIDS-related organizations, so I suppose 'twere worth all the ouchies and stuff!)

Well, goodly gentles, three more movies to go afore the legend of Harry Potter comes to its end! And why'd I say three Potter movies, you ask? Know, my children, that Warner Bros. and the Heyday Films crew are of the mind that Deathly Hallows is so complex and fully detailed a finale, they've chosen to split it into two movies, both to be shot back-to-back, simultaneously. Expect Deathly Hallows, The Movie: Part One in theatres in November 2010, with Part Two to follow in May 2011. Meanwhile, Half-Blood Prince, The Movie, hits theatres July 17th, thank goodness! David Yates returns as director, and Steve Kloves does the same as screenwriter, with both men set to maintain those duties right to the very end of the saga!

And it shan't stop thither, dearies, for Warner Bros. Consumer Products and the Becker Group/ExhibitGroup-Giltspur have team'd up to bring you Harry Potter: The Exhibition! Premiering April 30th, at Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry and staying there exclusively until September 7th, 2009, this unprecedented assembly of authentic props, costumes and artefacts takes you into the fascinating multiverse developed for all eight Potter movies! Click as shown for more info!

If, however, you still don't wanna wait, let your Dragonmaster refer ye to LeakyCauldron.org, whose dedicated staff of fans will share your need to understand. Know, too, that there's a great documentary to hold ye goodlies down until then: Joshua Koury's film We are Wizards looks at several of the power players in the fast-growing underground Potterverse, from a 7-year-old Wizard Rock star and his teen fanbase to the two greatest Wizard Rock groups of all time, Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfoys! Interestingly cool, huh? You may also explore the movie here.

Let the word sound forth: His Majesty, King Michael of Comstocke hath found a Queen! Lady Rosalyn is she; and if ye would witness their Union, thou shalt proceed to the 2nd Annual Midwest Renaissance Festival on Saturday afternoon, May 16th, where the Wedding Feast and Coronation shall be celebrated by all! Huzzah!

Your Dragonmaster's Official Rock Band hath return'd to their usual disgustingly nasty trail of ferocity! Huzzah! Lordi and fiends' single, Bite It Like a Bulldog, honors the City of Espoo on its 550th Birthday, and is available in both digital and vinyl versions! The single is also centerpiece of the Monstericans' fourth album, Deadache!, currently out on The End Records; whereas Lionsgate Home Video is the exclusive U.S. DVD/Blu-ray distributor of the Monstericans' mighty movie, Dark Floors (featuring Beast Loose in Paradise)!

And just when your humble Dragonmaster thought that the Monstericans wouldn't return to ye Byg Appyl, what do they go and do? They get themselves book'd on Late Night w/Conan O'Brien (during which, by thunder, yours truly had the chance to greet Team Lordi in person!)! The European portion of Lordi's Deadache! Tour continues until July 18th, when the Monstericans join a few of their closest personal friends for Vaasa's Rockperry Festival; meanwhile, those of you seeing these Dark Chambers from Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Spain and Italy, you're in for a real treat: Zombilation: The Greatest Cuts, the first and only best-of compilation authorized by Mr. Lordi himself! All the singles, from Hard Rock Hallelujah! to Would You Love a Monsterman? and beyond, plus Live in Stockholm and the Market Square Massacre concert DVD, filmed live in Helsinki, selected tracks from the Dark Floors movie soundtrack --- and much, much more! And remember, you Mortals can check out Castle Lordi, with versions at MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube --- and still, as ass-kickin' as they come!

Now on DVD and Blu-ray, having suffered the worst wide release opening ever: Electric Eye Entertainment/Fathom Animation Studios' Delgo, which for no good reason was trashed by film critics in New York and Los Angeles before being given a proper chance to get its legs! The adventure stars the voice talents of Freddie Prinze, Jr., Chris Kattan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anne Bancroft, Val Kilmer, Burt Reynolds, Malcolm McDowell, Louis Gossett, Jr., Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Ripa and Eric Idle, and is narrated by Sally Kellerman. If you must experience the adventure, and would like to discover how it was created, click as shown, lest ye miss out on a perfect CGI animation opportunity!

Many thanks to all who joined us for the aforenoted Easter Promenade on Fifth Avenue, as the hat wearers got their proverbial groove on in the shadow of St. Patrick's Cathedral! Besides yours truly, those gathered to strut their stuff included: Rapid T. Rabbit; the Invincible Bunnyman; Emperor XXVIII Anthony Monteleone and Empress XXIII Anne Tique of the Imperial Court of New York (Their Imperial Majesties greeted me as best they could, even if Emperor Anthony was dressed as a typical Easter Bunny --- and, of course, I was granted the privilege of kissing the Empress' hand --- I do, after all, know my Royalty when I see it!); Michael Arenella and his Dreamland Orchestrs ---- and a plethora of people wearing some of the strangest Easter bonnets you've ever seen! I must tell you, there were more people who asked to pose with me than I could bother to count; I imagine I'll have to ferret out Flickr.com to find out just how many!

Behold --- my Champions of the Imagination! We've all battled valiantly in the tradition of that most beloved and glorious of all New York eccentrics, legendary and immortal Moondog, to defend Imagination against the Forces of Nastiness! Besides your humble Dragonmaster, me burly Barbarian buddy Thor, and me beloved ol' loony in the loincloth, Master Thoth, the said Champions are: the aforementioned Patrick Barnes, The Oddist, alias the incredible Bunnyman, fluffy-tail'd Defender of Truth, Justice and the Bunny Trail Way; Lord Clisto Seversword, whose Tome of Adventure and Knowledge has 8 million-plus hits (and counting); me fellow Wizards, Merdwin the Mediocre and Ryleh the Wanderer; Chorley, Lancashire's beloved Henry VIII; and, lastly, that Stetson-clad strummer in the tighty-whities, the Naked Cowboy! Through our combined websites, adventures, personal appearances, etc., we seek to bring a little magic to a Planet in desperate need of Dreamers! Please support all of us in our respective efforts!

And if you are of the notion that I and my fellow Champions of the Imagination are quite the characters, then you have not encountered everything until you have experienced the Character Project, commissioned in part by the USA Network. Here, you will meet individuals from across the 50 States who, like yours truly, have fiercely refused to submit to the status quo!

For our Royals in our surfing audience, pray, check ye this out!

Something else for our Royal Surfers to enjoy: The Three Stooges (Shemp, Larry and Moe) as Fiddlers Three, Parts One and Two!

Follow me, Lords and Ladies, if thou wouldst, to Renaissance Magazine's Renaissance Faire Weblog, where Royal Folk such as thyselves can stay on top of all that doth occur in ye olde Realm o' Faire! (I've even join'd Renaissance Magazine's E-News mailing list, that I, too, can let ye all know what's what in ye Faire Wyrlde!)

Blackwolf's Bonus Link for April is:

Shouldst thou wish to e-mail this foolish ol' beetlehead, pray do so by contacting me at either electric_pirates@hotmail.com or blackbeardian@yahoo.com --- for that, by Merlin's beard, be exactly how I like it!