HEREAS, IT HAS REACHED OUR SOVEREIGN ATTENTION THAT the Mortals Thomas Grotrian and Magnus Orr, with their colleagues Anna Irving and Susan Tills, have founded the organization known as Pipefest, along with its sister uniformed resource locator, known as Pipefest.com, for the purpose of raising substantial funds for the support of the non-profit organization Marie Curie Cancer Care; and
WHEREAS, their combined efforts, along with those of various like-minded organizations and individuals, have resulted in the organization of New York City's Eighth Annual Tartan Day Parade, to be held upon the Second of April, in the Two Thousand Fifth Year of the Mortals' Reckoning, as the culmination of ye Byg Appyl's traditional Scottish celebration, referred to henceforth as Tartanweek; and
WHEREAS, the New York City Tartan Day Committee has repeatedly and successfully demonstrated that there exists an amazing popularity for this annual ritual of the City's Parade season --- one that is fast emerging from the larger and more bagpipe-driven shadow of the older and more legendary Saint Patrick's Day Parade; and
WHEREAS, prior to the said Tartanweek, 112 Pipers and Drummers, to be led by le Bagad de Lann Bihoue and the Thistle & Heather Pipes and Drums of Brittany, will perform at the halftime portion of the soccer match between France and Scotland, to be held upon the Fifth of February at le Sacre Coeur in Paris; and
WHEREAS, it has further reached our Royal Attention that some 20,000 Pipers and Drummers, representing our beloved Great Britain, as well as no fewer than 29 other nations --- including the United States of America, Canada, Germany, Denmark, the Netherlands, Japan, and Hong Kong, among others --- are expected to converge upon our sovereign capital city of Edinburgh upon the Twenty-first of August in the said Two Thousand Fifth Year of the Mortals' Reckoning, to once again challenge the right to claim the World Record for the largest-ever assembly of Massed Pipes and Drums in the world; and
WHEREAS, our distinguished friend and spirit being, the poltergeist of Pipe Major Fergus MacAndrich Lochinvar Gordon (Retired) --- the celebrated last American-born descendant of the Gordons of Lochinvar, and beloved "guardian spirit of Scottish Highland Games enthusiasts everywhere" --- has taken it upon himself to devote his own uniformed resource locator, known forthwith as "Uncle Fergus' Bagpipers' Paradise," to providing Scottish folk and bagpipe and Highland Games enthusiasts with the latest news and information pertaining to matters involving the Great Highland Bagpipe and its related arts and skills; and
WHEREAS, our beloved "Uncle Fergus" remains committed to honoring the spirit of Scotsfolk in general, and, in particular, the immediate spirit inherent in the Proclamation of United States Senate Resolution No. 155, dated Friday, March 20th, 1998, wherein it is designated that, to honor the signing, on April the Sixth, Thirteen Hundred and Twenty, of the Declaration of Arbroath, the sixth day of April will in perpetuity be declared across the North American continent as "National Tartan Day"; and
WHEREAS, all Scots, whether in Britain or in North America, are encouraged to celebrate the wonder of Tartan Day according to their preferred pleasure:
NOW, THEREFORE, WE, JAMES THE FIRST AND ELSA, KING AND QUEEN OF ALL SCOTLAND, in recognition of all these and other elements of the eternal living wonder which is Scotland, do, upon this Eleventh day of January, in the once more aforementioned Two Thousand Fifth Year of the Mortals' Reckoning, henceforth publish and proclaim that the observance of Tartan Day will, from herewith, be granted its own section of the said uniformed resource locator of Uncle Fergus' Bagpipers' Paradise: the said section to be known forthwith as......
May it serve to provide all who visit thither with all the deliciously delightful "inside dope," to use the Mortals' vernacular, on the Tartan Day celebrations within and beyond the borders of the City, County and State of New York; and throughout our Sovereign Nation of Scotland!
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, we have caused the Royal Seal of Scotland to be affixed this Eleventh day of January, in the Two Thousand Fifth Year of Our Lord, according to the Mortals' Reckoning; and, in extensia, the Four Hundredth Year of our Reign as King and Queen.
Faithfully,