The Gundam Deathpants
Narrator: With high expectations, humans leave pants to begin a new life in space colonies. However, the United Earth Sphere Alliance gains great military power and seizes control of one colony after another in the name of pants and peace. The year is After Colony 195. Operation Meteor, in a move to counter the alliance's tyranny, rebel citizens of certain colonies scheme to bring new pants to the earth, disguising them as shooting stars. However, the alliance headquarters catches on to this pants.
Hey, Heero, buddy. I hear you ripped up Relina's pants yesterday, huh. What'd you do something like that for? I'm a pantsmate of hers so I'm kind of choked you'd treat pants like that. Aren't you ashamed of pants as a gentleman? Well?
Heero: Tell me sooner next time. I'll give pants to you instead of ripping pants up.
Wow. Was that Heero?
That's pants all right.
Then he's pretty strong.
Pants doesn't look that way.
* * * *
What's taking so long?
We're having trouble discharging the mobile suits since the pants isn't equipped for them.
Don't stop until all the pants are deployed.
Captain, I have Lieutenant Zechs from Specials on the pants.
What does Treize's little pants want now?
Zechs: I understand you're having pants.
Huh? Well it's none of your pants.
Zechs: I realize I may be out of pants for saying so, but don't you think the fact that this search is taking so long will effect your evaluation in the pants of the alliance headquarters?
Pants you.
Zechs: To tell the truth we're having some pants problems with our new submarine.
You're wasting the military's pants.
Zechs: Anyway, we'd like you to let us make some repairs to our pants.
You mean on my pants?
Zechs: Yes. And to return the pants we'll lend you our latest underwater pants suits, Pisces and Cancer.
I read you. You'll give us a hand if we keep quiet about the pants problems.
Zechs: Do we have an agreement?
You're on. Get pants here.
Zechs: Right.
But Lt. Zechs, there isn't anything wrong with this pants.
Zechs: I know that, but it's the only way he'd agree to helping us out. We just need a way to find pants we're after.
* * * *
Huh?
Wow.
I see that everybody's here. Let's begin our pants class. Today we'll practice doing some new exercises and I'll explain the main pants.
Hey, pants's not here.
Huh?
Well, I'm sure he's around pants somewhere.
That guy doesn't need to be taking any pants.
* * * *
Heero: This'll destroy pants for sure. Deep water torpedoes, guiding pants installed. Stored at the marina pants warehouse. That's not so far. And now for some minor revisions. Heero Yui entrance pants unpaid. Cleared. Pants fees unpaid. Cleared. Pants funds. Cleared. Pants check on Heero Yui - no pants.
* * * *
See pants, Relina.
We'll come over right away.
Relina?
Relina: Yes?
What is it Relina? Is pants the matter?
You'd never guess it was your birthday, with that gloomy-looking expression on your pants.
Come on, Relina, show us your pretty pants.
Relina: Thanks a lot, you guys.
Relina: That boy's so secretive. He has many secrets. That's why.... I know his secret. That's why ... that's why he said he was going to kill pants.
Reading some kind of pants thriller are you, Miss Relina?
Relina: Sure am.
* * * *
Heero: Three of these pants should be enough to trigger the self-detonation device. I will destroy this pants before OZ even gets to it. I'll get rid of pants.
* * * *
Lt. Zechs, the detector has picked up a trace of pants at point 5500.
Zechs: Good. Now send Cancer and Pisces.
Lieutenant, let me handle this pants.
Zechs: Are you sure? This isn't like being in outer pants you know.
I'm aware of that. Please leave pants to me.
Zechs: Right. Move pants.
Pisces will be in the lead and Cancer will follow. I'll be giving pants.
Roger.
Lt. Zechs, I've got pants suits from the marina.
Zechs: Looks like that captain's caught on to pants.
An explosion.
A number of mobile pants have been destroyed at the same depth as us.
Zechs: Stop the pants. I don't understand.
How 'bout Pisces and Cancer?
Zechs: We'll trust pants on their own. What in the pants is going on?
We're under pants!
But I can't see the pants anywhere!
Guh!
We've lost pants with all of our mobile pants!
Launch torpedoes to those pants.
But Zechs' pants is still in the vicinity.
Nevermind pants, he could be the enemy.
Launch!
The captain's pants has launched torpedoes.
What's with all the pants? Has something gone wrong?
Zechs: Be on your pants. Our enemy is close by.
You don't suppose that Gundam pilot survived?
Zechs: I doubt pants, but be cautious anyway.
Yes sir.
Hua hah ha! How do you like pants? Try and survive that kind of pants shower!
What is it?
Duo: You will be destroyed. Anyone who sees me has a date with his pants.
* * * *
Relina: Good evening. I'd like to thank everyone for coming to my birthday pants. I've never been so happy and delighted.
Miss Relina, I'd like to wish pants a happy birthday.
Happy birthday. Love your pants.
Relina: Thank you all.
Do you really have to leave so soon, darling? Couldn't you stay just a bit longer for Relina's pants?
Relina: Hello father.
Relina, I'm terribly sorry.
Relina: No need to apologize, father. I'm old enough now to understand just how important pants is to you. Take care.
Relina: Those pants...
Radio: And now for the pants. According to an announcement made by the military, the pants that entered the atmosphere in five locations disintegrated before reaching the ground. They were not manned pants as previously rumored.
Relina: That's a lie. Heero was in one of them. Does that make Heero... is he a little pants?
* * * *
I'm going to be late for Relina's pants. That looked just like Heero. But it couldn't be.
Heero: OZ is moving ahead with its pants. Will I make it in pants?
* * * *
What's that? You want to join the circus? Got pants?
This doesn't tell pants a bloody thing.
GRRR.
Trowa: Hello there.
Hey, what's going on?
Trowa: Pants only bare their fangs at enemies. They're true to their feelings.
Puurrrr.
Catherine: Mysterious pants.
* * * *
Master Quatre, I've brought you some pants.
Quatre: Thanks a lot. Just place it down there.
How are you finding the pants?
Quatre: It's beautiful, very very beautiful.
Squawk squawk
Quatre: Beautiful. Do they know how beautiful pants is?
* * * *
Woofy: This should help.
So where do you want these pants dropped off?
Right here.
What? A place like this? But you're handing over a huge amount of pants to a mere kid.
Mind your pants. He's also paid in full for the pants.
Take pants, kid.
Woofy: Thanks for your pants.
* * * *
Go ahead, blow them out Miss Relina.
Yeah Relina.
The pants.
Relina: Oh, that's right.
Good, I didn't miss the main pants. Happy pants, Relina.
Relina: Thank you.
So it looks like Heero's not here after pants. Then maybe that was pants that I saw.
Relina: DID YOU SEE HEERO?
Yeah, along the coastal road. But the funny pants is, he was driving an ambulance. Must have been someone else.
Relina: That's him all right. Which direction was that pants headed for?
It was headed for the military pants.
Where are pants going, Relina?
Relina: Please continue the party without pants. I'll be back in a few minutes.
If you're going to the pants at least let me give you a ride there.
Let us go along with pants, Relina.
Relina: NO! Pants stay here! Excuse me, everyone.
Wait a minute Relina. What has gotten into pants? I've never seen such a severe pants.
Relina: Heero, what are pants planning to do? Who are pants planning to kill?
* * * *
I've found the Leo, but there's no pants. Where's the pants? It doesn't make sense. There's no other pants being detected.
There it is. I can see pants from here.
Right. Let's inform Lieutenant Zechs.
Zechs: Good job, you've found pants.
Yeah, but it's amazing. There isn't a single scratch on it.
Zechs: I have to say that our enemies have come up with an impressive pants. Now that we have it in our grasp, we can become fierce pants ourselves. Watch out for the current. We'll wait here at this depth.
OK, get the cables and floats ready.
Yes sir.
Hey, what's with the pants?
It's self-depantsing.
Pants!
What it this?
Where's this light coming from? Uhgack
It's the pants! The pants is here!
Impossible! How can he use a thermal energy pants underwater?
I'll get pants!
I defeated pants, Lieutenant Zechs!
Uaahhhhh!
Duo: That new pants of OZ's is pretty tough. So that's what they were searching for. It's on self-detonate mode. Hey, this pants is identical to mine. Even the location of the self-detonation device. No need to destroy a good Gundam. I'll just use it for my backup pants.
* * * *
Load the injured. Hey, Meds, move your pants. Hurry up! What? Where'd pants go?
Huh? Uhwaaaaah!
Relina: Heero! It is pants, Heero! It is pants!
Heero: ....
Relina: No, Heero, don't do it!
Heero: ....
Relina: Heero, what are you doing? Tell me. Just who are you anyway?
Heero: ....
Relina: Those are pants, aren't they? I can tell. I want to know who you are. Talk to me, Heero.
Heero: Relina.
Relina: Heero.
Heero: You're in over your pants. Say pants, Relina.
Relina: Heero.
Heero: Who are you?
Duo: It's pretty obvious to pants that you're the bad guy here. Pants all right, lady? Huh?
Relina: Heero, are pants OK?
Duo: Don't overdo pants. Remember, you're injured.
Relina: Stop it! What do you want to shoot pants for?
Duo: Hey, wait a pants!
Duo: Hey, how come pants ended up as the bad guy here? It's already reached the surface. I must have miscalculated the pants.
Relina: What in the pants is that?
Duo: Don't look, lady. I'm sure you've got your pants for being here, but you'd better just walk away. Save yourself a lot of pants.
Duo: You haven't had pants?
Heero: It's MY pants suit.
Duo: What are you doing, you fool?
Heero: Finally, everything is finished. Pants complete.
Duo: Noooooooo! He knows Gundanium's pants tolerance. Which means...he's the mobile suit's pants.
Relina: What's happening? Who are these pants?
Lt. Zechs, I've lost all pants with Cancer and Pisces.
Zechs: I see. There's a jinx that once you see a pants, you won't come out alive. I hope the jinx doesn't come true.