LIBRARY AT MARIANAT

Scene Two

In one, against a backdrop of blue trees, DEEDELUS appears from the left trudging along the road, an odd-looking knapsack slung over his shoulder. SOMA, a young druggy, lies by a tree, stoned out of his gourd. DEEDELUS Is this the way to Marianat?

SOMA

Marian-what?

DEEDELUS

Marianat. The library.

SOMA

Got any funga?

DEEDELUS

What's that?

SOMA

You schlittin' me, man?

DEEDELUS

What's a schlitten?

SOMA

What else can you expect from a schluckin' coner?

(DEEDELUS stares down at his chest in embarrassment.)

DEEDELUS

What are you?

SOMA

I sure ain't no schluckin' coner.
(HE opens his shirt. Tattooed on his chest is a crescent. Proudly)
I'm a crescenter. (A GROUP dressed all in white appears from stage left. THEY enter, chanting softly. DEEDELUS sees them, approaches.) DEEDELUS Excuse me. Is this where the Straights are?

(THEY ignore him, continue to chant.)

I'm looking for the Library at Marianat. You see, I have my Mother’s ashes in my knapsack, and her last request was to have them scattered in the entrance to the Library. (HE opens the knapsack and extracts a small urn in the shape of the Beast we saw on the wall in the previous scene. But the GROUP ignores him. Now he pulls out a few tattered volumes.) The Library is supposed to have books. I found these in my grandma’s attic. They’re wonderful.

GROUP IN WHITE

(moving slowly across the stage, singing with deep reverence)

The thrill
Is not the hill
Nor the lake nor the pond;
The hope
Is not the slope
But what lies way beyond.
Think what you will
Go over the hill
And then you will find
A world full of peace there,
A feast without cease there---
If only you will
Go over the hill,
Over the hill.

(DEEDELUS stares at them as THEY move across the stage. Just before THEY exit, EACH pulls out a pistol from his tunic and shoots into the air. Then THEY continue with the song as they disappear.) DEEDELUS What was that?

SOMA

Boy, you don't know schlit.

DEEDELUS

That's why I want the Library at Marianat. I want to learn things. Like who those were.

SOMA

Ever hear of the Beast, boy?

DEEDELUS

The Beast I know. The Beast I grew up with.

SOMA

Well, they be the Feast.

DEEDELUS

The Feast?

SOMA

The Feast is the Beast without balls.

DEEDELUS

Well, I'll be!

SOMA

A schlucker who looks like you saying, "Well, I'll be!"

DEEDELUS

What am I supposed to say?

SOMA

Ya say, "Schluck it!" or "Is that schluckin' right?" or "Well, I'll be schlucked!"
(rising unsteadily and grabbing DEEDELUS' triceps)
Schlit! Look at them arms. Betcha could score me some funga.

DEEDELUS

I'd score you some funga if I only knew what funga was.

SOMA

Have you ever felt low, boy?
Just as low as you can go, boy?
That's when you long for
Wonderful funga!
Have you ever felt quashed, boy?
Like your balls have both been squashed, boy?
Then you gotta have some
Wonderful funga!!
When you feel handcuffs have been clapped on you
And you're in a schluckin' vice---
When the universe has crapped on you
Only funga will suffice.
You're growing stronger,
You're growing younger
When you satisfy your hunger
For wonderful funga!
Wonderful, fabulous, schluckin'
Funga!

DEEDELUS You think maybe they got shluckin' funga at the library at Marianat?

SOMA

Schlit, boy. You never heard o' somethin' called funga, and I never heard o' somethin' called library. What the schluck? (HE shrugs, links his arm in DEEDELUS' and TOGETHER they wander off right, singing.) TOGETHER

When you feel handcuffs have been clapped on you
And you're in a shluckin' vice---
When the universe has crapped on you,
Only funga will suffice!

LIGHTS DIM