+++++++++

Despoiler charged through the prepubescant horde. Their cheap Beanos and Dandy's were no match for his gigavolt lightning claws. He laughed as swathes of the little buggers were cut down. He reached a large building with a few of his entourage of Terminators of the Black Legion. It had a large sign on it, "Cheese Makery". It had obviously been written by someone not native to this land, and, judging by the immense proportions of the building, some who liked their cheese very much. One word struck Despoiler in the face. It fell to the floor, and Despoiler picked it up and read it. Pirinen! He ordered his Legionnaires to converge on this spot. By hook or crook, Pirinen would pay for the blasphemy that is the Realm of Chaos, Mordien (sp) city of the damned, and the High Elf book among others. Meanwhile, the battle was being fought with brave souls like Beth666, Deadlar, Thanos, etc etc etc. How would they fare? (hint hint...)

Despoiler

+++++++++

:....kshzzz...ksszhhh...heavy static....kshzzz...contact?....kshzzzzz....damn!....

Beth 666

+++++++++

My Squat Stronhold stands to aid all fellow Brothers, any grudges are cast aside, except for clan Gammi Vorkshops. My Cyclops' Hellfuries are primed and the Goliath Super-Heavy Howitzers are fully loaded. The Land Trains groan with the wieght of our Battlecars, and the Colussus are prepared to crush those in our way. The Imperium shall know fear!

Viv la revolution!

Belgarion

+++++++++

The Dark 0ne perched high above the ceasless din of the battlefield, his weight precariously balanced upon the crumbling roof covering the decayed tower. Through the cracks underneath, row upon row of disused 40k siege equipment could be seen. "One must admire the foresight of Lord Johnsson" he muttered grimly into his com-link "If sieges were still allowed in the 41:st century the Despoiler would have breached the walls already". The answer came quickly, carried by a swift burst of static. "Fear not for the Despoiler, brother. He may still follow the misguided fool Abaddon, but the powers of Horus flow in him as in all of us." The com-link fell quiet for a moment letting the enraged screams of the pre-teens below fill the air as they launched a vicious counter attack. The Dark One slapped the com-link against the knee of his midnight power armour and it sputtered to life again. "....would you like High Lord Johnson's career to be terminated?" The Dark One shook his head, grinning widely beneath his helmet. Despite countless years of loyal service to the Cause, the indoctrinations of the administratum still ran deep inside the once assassin. "You have free hands my friend. Feel no need to make it quick. Lord Johnson has a lot to answer for." The com-link once again went silent, static drowned by the howlings of the wounded below. "One can wonder if Lord Johnson realised the true extent of the powers of his creations", he mused ." Or perhaps he simply could not forsee that this very power could be turned against himself." Rising carefully to his feet he let his black robes unfurl into the wind. "Fear the wrath Lord Johnson," he whispered towards the dark walls of the Nottingham Fortress. "The Eye of Horus has turned towards thee. This time you truly will reap what you have sown."

Beth 666

+++++++++

As I am a very fanatic Orc player I, Rogier Van Oudheusden, will not tolerate any dwarfs in cyberspace either. That's why I don't support you to get your DAMN squats back!!!

May the Waaagh be with you...

Rogier

+++++++++

All: The the Sword of Sanguinis dropped out of the warp and appeared of the holy land of Terra, the lights of the Emperor's eyes(radar) flashed brighter than anyone had seen since the seige at Armageddon. A battle fleet huge ominously around the sacred rock of man. Ancient enemies, hated enemies. There was no time for past grudges. Only to forfill the calling. For all Blood Angels hade the gift of sight beyond sight. It was the greatest all of Sanguinis' gifts to his chapter. Brother Captain Eivan knew what must be done. His beloved Chater had been called heretics. Not trusted. On the verge of exterminatus for the failings of the Thirst. Now the fools would se firsthand what the true meaning of the thirst is! Tech Priest Abnamius, have your orderlies bless the drop pods with the sacred ointments. We shall rain death upon the false administratum. Though the Emperor rests his fists never tire!!". Captain Eivan spoke over the comm link" Brothers, the task ahead of us is great. Some call us heretics. But by Sanguinis I swear our cause is just! This false Adminstratum shall feel our wrath. They shall pay for their heresies. The time of reckoning is here. Let it be know!". The company entered their dropo pods and prepared to bring death to the false Administratum. As the pods dropped away from the Sword of Sanguinis, the battle brother were in prayer to their Emperor and their Primarch. THe pods hit the firmament of the sacred rock with a loud thud. There was a hiss as the door to the pod opened. It dropped with a clang. The Blood Angels were upon them. Brother Captain Eivan knew it would be a difficult task, but nothing could have prepared him for this. A thousand years he had been a servant of the Emperor and he had not seen like like of the battle that raged around the Mile high pillar of the Administratum. The Fallen ones, Orks, Ancient enemies once calles brothers assaulted the Pillar. Th west side was open, why? He had no time to waste,"Chaplain Malarion, The Death Company with me. To the air. We assault the west wall!". THe Captain and the Death Company landed 20 meters from the hugh doors on the west wall. Something was afoot. The doors flung open and out poored in hordes the foul servants of the Administratum. They were grotesque , pimped faced whelps by the tons. There seemed to be women and gangly manthings as well. They opened fire upon the Brothers with what seemed to be cheese guns. One struck a marine and started to eat through his armour! "To the fore. The cleansing time is upon us Brothers!!". Far above the battle Inquisitor Jervis and his scribe Pirien laughed, Mawhahahaha, Mwahahahaha. "they shall never defeat our "Ill Tempered teens and they mislead parents! Mwahahahaha, mwahahaha........

Shaggy

+++++++++

My dark elf troops have just defeated a large lizardmen army led by Nick Davis.W found a quite disturbing scroll:

Dear allie Davis:

I am joyful to anounce that the magic cards,fielded by allie Garfield,have succeeeded in hypnotising inquisitors johnson and Pirien!Our plan is working and soon Gw will bankrupt itself and share the fate we already bestowed to west end games!And then we will turn against our erstwhile allies,WOTC and destroy them too,so i can rule supreme!The satanical ways of wargamers will soon perish before the ,ight of the great:

Raymond Weeks

Personaly,i find this quite disturbing!But i leave the fight to you,my brothers!I won´t be posting for awhile,but my army can still be used in the revolution!I´ve assigned it to you,Beth666.Have fun with the witch elves....

Dan Witchlover

++++++++++

Lord Commander Karl von Mannstein looked on as the Blood Angels fell descended from the sky, guns seeming to be on fire from the sheer volume of destruction being aimed at the Inquisitor-turned-heretic's fortress. Just before the Blood Angels touched down, Mannstein turned to his aide, "Order a rolling barrage, starting at the walls, and closing around the temple. Increase the guns elevation by one degree after each shot to allow the Space Marines to advance. Once our shells fall on the temple, keep up the barrage for five minutes, then send in the first and second infantry regiments, acoompanied byt the first armor regiment." Without hesitation, the aide turned to the gunnery captains and repeated the Lord Commanders instructions.

As if a the world had cracked in two, the guns of the three Reichwalt artillery fired. The roar echoed off the fortress walls to the front, and the mountains behind. The ground shook and the guns' supports buckled and groaned. For an instance thereafter was silence, then another, even louder sound as the barrage salmmed home. Great gashes and craters formed on an around the bastions of the Traitor Inquisitor. Twice more the guns fired, then several moments of realtive quiet as the barrels were elevated into new firing positions.

Almost immediatley after the first artillery attacked ended, the Marines were assaulting the walls. Vindicators balsted at the gates, while Whirlwinds hammered at the troops on the wall. Assualt Squads, equipped withe Jump Packs, bounded upwards, leaping upon the shaken defenders before the dust from the Ipmerial Guard's barrage had settled. Suddenly there was a tremendous crash as one of the gates gave way. A full three companies of Blood Angels poured in, cutting huge swathes through the ranks of the Chaos Cultists the Inquisitor had raised.

The Marines seemed to have won wihtout a fight, when the guns of more than fifty captured Leman Russ fired into their ranks. Predators were smashed apart, and the casualities amongst the Marines were hoorendous. The Attack seemed that it may waiver and fail, when the armored regiment of the Imperial Guard linked up with the Blood Angels, foolowed shortly by th infantry regiments. With weight of numbers on their side, the loyal forces of the imperium pressed onwards.

* * *

Darkness began to settle around the temple, as Lord Commander Mannstein met with Captain Tycho in the temple's throne room.

"He gave a good fight, by the Emperor!"

"Lord Commander, a good fight is never enough to stop those who serve the Emperor, as truly my battle-brothers have today," replied Tycho.

Just then, several Guardsmen entered the room. "Sir, the entire compound has been searched, but no sign of Inquisitor Jervis has been found."

End

?

Belgarion

++++++++++

Terra!!! The holy planet of the Imperial throne, the founding world of humanity, the mightiest fortress in the galaxy, slowly proceeded in its orbit around it's yellow star...safe under the protection of myriads of starships, defense batteries and psychic shielding. No force will ever again assail this bastion of tyranny!!!

Somewhere in the defence grid a small icon begins flashing red..something has exited warpspace within the solar system. A servitor glances at it and sends the standard warning to the incoming object/transmission. The warning is ignored by the incoming coherant energy of 75,000 Cyclops Hellfury Cannons coming from the direction of the galactic core. The presence of Terra in their path also seems to be ignored as the immense focussed energy beams of "abhuman" technology lance straight through the planet and continue out the other side.....not much is left to hear the incoming transmission seconds later in the dialect known as "Old Squat Standard"......

"Attention Imperium!!! Do you remember us now?"-end transmission.

Prospero

++++++++++

All: Brother Captain Eivan rained blow after blow upon the mislead. He poured volley upon volley of hot plasma into their foul hides. Yet the still came. Had he at last met his fate. Would he die his deed undone? He dimissed this heresy from his mind and continued the carnage. Brother Ancient Bethios roared as the rage overtook him once again. There is nothing like the site of a 7,000 years of rage unleashed against your foes the Captain mused. The endless tide of pimple faced advisaries had lessend since the arrival of the ancient. "Now is it time. Through the doors and to our real foe!"said Eivan. The owners of the tainted genes that created the pimple fiends were the next barrier. The Captain grabbed a pouch off his belt and threw it at the enemy. He had unleashed the forbidden weapons. Beanie babies and viagra. Now that the enemy was distracted he could make his way to the evil ones chamber. "Lord Navigator Ismuth. Press the sacred icon and prevent the evil ones from teleporting away from my vengeance!"said Eivan. " It is done."reported Ismuth. The Captain and the Death Company had reached the inner sanctum of the fouls ones. Brother Ancient Bethios raised his lighting claws and smashed through the chamber door. The evil Inquisitor Jervis and his lacky Pirien were gone. Only then did he realize the true end of the Inquisitors fall from the Emporer's grace. There stood before him the foul creations of the Inquisitors native land, "TEELLA TUBBIES!!!!". They giggled as they slayed the sacred gene seed of Sanguinis. Brother Captain Eivan raised his power sword to smite the evilness before him. His sword bounced off their bloated furry bodies. The yellow giggled louded and said"You funny, tee hee. Uh oh, it's tinky winky time!". The Captain was smashed aside like a childs plaything. Even Brother Ancient Bethios was no match for the foulest of monstrousities! "emporer save us! Is there nothing we can do to defeat this evil beings!"Eivan spat as he spoke it!

Shaggy

++++++++++

Kharne roared out another challenge as he sprinted towards the nearest Guardsmen. His first swing removed the guardsmen's arm, followed swiftly by his head. "Jervis must DIE!!!! In the name of Khorne!!!" He saw a squad of troopers approching him, and leapt at them, they must die.

Swinging his axe in mighty arcs the strength of numbers of the guardsmen began to prevail. "Damn it" he thought "This would of never happened in the old rules" Kharne was now reduced to trying to dodge the uncoordinated blows of the guardsmen, "Where has my faithfull Gorechild gone, now I use a close combat weapon, and it's just a pity I get beaten up all the time now..."

The last guardsmen finally dropped to the ground, and Kharne began to move his own shatterer and bloody body towards the vast chamber in front of him. In the chamber the squats were fighting for their very existance, and we would join them, for Khorne always wants the skulls collected ;) Kharne would find the one known as Pirinen, who had stolen all the cheese, Kharne wanted his back. "Abbadon now has lots of cheese, where's mine?" he thought, as he searched the corridors for the evil Jervis, and his missing cheese......

Slayer

+++++++++++

As the battered battle barge Serpent Fang, assumed orbit in the proximity of the Depoilers flagship, Lord Atraikius waited in front of his holoscreen awaiting the Despoiler to answer his hail, absent mindedly scratching his pet caducus serpens, Venom, between the eyes.

"Lord Atraikius, they are answering our hail"

"Understood deamon officer, put him through".

Lord Atraikius turned to face the holoscreen, slapping his fist to his heart and clicking his heels in his chapters ritual salute as the Despoiler appeared on the holoscreen. "Hail Despoiler, i am Lord Atraikius, and I have brought the remnants of The Serpents of Death Legion to aid you against Jervis and Pirien". At the mention of those two, Venom hissed and showed his dripping fangs, but Lord Atraikius ignored him and continued on. "My berzerkers are foaming at the mouth, my veterans are sharpening thier blades, my noise marines are tuning thier instruments, and my dreadnaughts are straining at thier chains. Please inform me of where you wish to deploy. May Tzeentch be with us".

As Lord Atraikius awaited a reply, he contiplated his reasons for being here. It was not that he was here for the stunted ones rights, and to prevent their genocide, but for his right to kill off the stunted ones face to face, and sacrifice their kin to the Gods of Chaos, as genocide by administration is so unsatisfying.

He smiled as he savored the though of destroying the administatums pygmies as he waited for the Despoilers reply....

Pull the Plug!

Robert

Robert Engvall

+++++++++++

Despoiler realised the battle was going badly. Yes, many forces had rallied under the anti-gw imperium banner, but the overpowering forces of Middle-class parents and little kiddy-kins was too great for even the mightiest warriors. However, Despoiler was still at the gates of the mighty walls of the "Cheese Makery".

He swung his claws at the wall, but to no avail. The material the walls was made of was as hard as..... stale parmizan. Despoiler stepped back, and ordered the Reaper AC bearer to open fire. Within seconds, thousands of shells had reduced the wall to a fine powder. Despoiler ordered his entourage to go and help his brethren of the Word Bearers, who were marooned at their DZ, under constant attack from angry religious parents, sickened by their fanatic worship of Chaos Undivided.

Despoiler stepped into the building. The smell immeadiatly overpowered him. A million different types of cheese were being made, all at once. Luckily, Despoiler had tasted them all at one point or another. No, Commisar Pirinen would not get rid of Despoiler so easily. He pressed on. Soon, the vats of liquid cheese ended, and he came to collosal warehouses of ageing cheese. On the other side of the immense room, stood Pirinen, his long unkempt hair an affront to all humanity has worked to achieve in it's existence.

"So, Mister Despoiler. You have come at last. You have travelled far, so be my guest and let me ENTERTAIN YOU!" With that, he threw some viciously sharp slices of Gorganzola at Despoiler. Luckily, Despoiler vapourised them with his melta combi weapon.

"HA!" laughed Despoiler, as he began to walk forward. Pirinen just stood, with a smug grin on his face.

"Give it up, Despoiler. The Squats are doomed. You know, our next target will be the forces of Chaos, you know? We want to increase our sales with the kiddies, so we feel the evil of Chaos is not Politically Correct. Disney have said they will make a film of 40k if we get rid of Chaos. We... agreed. Ah hahaha! AH HAHAHA!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" The Evil laughter echoed down the warehouse.

"ENOUGH!" cried Despoiler. Pirinen was about to pay. But, just as Despoiler was about to strike Pirinen after a lengthy charge from one end of the hall to the other, he vanished in a cloud of smoke.

"What trickery is this?" cried Despoiler. Despoiler on;y flexed his claws, resolving that he would get Pirinen... it was only a matter of time. Already, Lord Jervis had to resort to letting his real troops out to fight. The kiddies were falling to the coallitions better paint jobs and experience.

Despoiler

+++++++++++

Things were not going well. Not well at all. The Dark One shook his head, his com-link filled with broken pieces of battlefield transmission. He had never, even in his wildest dreams seen an alliance as this. The vast compund of the Nottingham Fortress complex were filled with chaos troops of every kind and description, hungrily dispatching the last survivors. No problems there. The Blood Angels, an unlikely ally at best, had pierced the Keep in a gloriously vicious attack but now there was only silence. An uncomfortable silence. The Dark One knew from their last transmission that High Lord Johnson, appearantly also inducted in the Inquisitoral order, had managed to escape the wrath of his bloodthirsty foes. A massive explosion shook the compound rattling even the daemons feasting on their fallen foes. A lingering foetid smell of Danish Cheese could be felt in the air and the Dark One quickly adjusted the rebreathers in his helmet. The Despoiler had appearantly underestimated Pirinen. All the nice talk about how there were less cheese in the new system had appearantly been lies all along. The Finn clearly were an opponent not to be underestimated. The com-link crackled to life "I have encountered problems brother". The assassins voice sounded...worried. "One thought that you should have taken care of Lord Johnson by now", the Dark One hissed sharply. "The Eye of Horus have never failed before." "That may be brother, but it seem that High Lord Johnson had forseen an event such as this". The Dark One cursed loudly "Is there no end to this man's ingenuity? What now?" "The plans I have liberated speak of something called the third edition, brother. It seem to be a sinister ploy to enhance the effeciency of the common marine or guardsman while severly limiting specialised characters such as myself." Tha Dark One felt his skin grow cold despite the regulated temperatures inside his power armour. "Can that be true?" he whispered. "I have heard no rumours of Abaddon's lessening ability." "That might be true brother, I have some disturbing information on that matter. However, High Lord Johnsson has retreated to the mail-order troll filled catacombs below his keep and I believe his painful death is the first priority." The Dark One nodded in agreement. "Since your abilites have been curtailed my friend, what other options are open to us?" The assasin grew quiet fo a moment. "The Slaaneshi could be an option for us brother, I for one has long waited for a reunion with Thanos's warband." The Dark One smiled widely. "One must agree friend, but their powers would be severly limited as well in this enviroment where profane language and deviant sexual behaviour is frowned upon. No, we need a plan as devious as if it had been made by the High Lord himself." The Dark One looked one last time at the message crumpled in his gloved hand. "We need a...surprise".

Underneath the compound, the still dank air suddenly grew agitaded. Gusts of crisp frost filled wind escaped from the growing rift in the wall. A slight feminine giggle could be heard.....

Beth666

++++++++++

The battle raged on. Thousands of the little ones, known as 12 year olds, swarmed around the thunderhawk, Smothered Hope. Their beedy eyes looked longily at the the massive guns on the Warlord's ship. They dropped their weapons to grasp at the magnificent ship. Never before had they seen one of these legendary ships. Most had no knowledge of what it was. All they knew was that they wanted it. They moved forward.

Inside, the ship was covered with a light smoke. Lights of reds and blues decorated the halls. On the vidscreen was Brother Manson, involved in battle with the religious sect of Terra. After taking a drag off his doobie, Thanos of Titan spoke. "Umm, is there a war going on? Captain Niveck, who are all those screaming kids?"

"They appear to be minions of the GW Imperium. They look rather awed," replied Niveck.

After taking another drag, Thanos replied while inhaling air, "Yea, they do, don't they?"

Sensing that the sorcerror was no longer concentrating on her actions, the daemonette rose off her lord. Thanos quickly grabbed her arm and planted a solid kiss on her mouth, exhaling the air from his lungs. The daemonette pulled back and began to giggle.

"Niveck, summon the following squads for a "beer run", ordered Thanos. "Get me Squads: Pigface, Ministry, Skrew, and KMFDM. Tell Seargent Reznor to bring me some goodies. Also, I want Telegram Sam and This Mortal Coil to provide dread support."

"Shall I bring you Skinny Puppy and Assimilate?," asked the Captain.

Thanos's personal blastmaster and lightening claw were his own creations. He had tuned them for ultimate destruction. Playing these were even better than the daemonette.

"Yes, Niveck. Bring me my weapons! Lords of Acid, we shall play tonight!!!" bellowed Thanos.

As the door opened, the sorcerror got his 1st true glimpse of the massed young ones advancing.

"Christ, I didn't know there were so many of them," Thanos said. With that, the battle began.

Thanos of titan

Go back to the Fiction section

E-mail the maintainer, Despoiler

Copyright Adrian Johnson © 1999. All trademarks are property of their respective owners.