Babylon 5 versus Star Trek - the Rewritten Quotes

Sheridan: "You've been trying to teach me so we can understand the trekkies. That's not what I want anymore. I want you to teach me how to fight them, how to beat them, because sooner or later, I'm going to aus.sf.star-trek, and I'm going to stop them."

Susan: "You can help me to help you by explaining the nature of your disagreement"
Fan1: "Trek"
Fan2: "B5"
Susan: "Yes, I realise there are two factions, but what is your point of contention, why do you fight?"
Fan2: "B5"
Fan1: "Trek"
(and so on, until..)

Fan2: "Trek must fight B5, B5 must fight trek, this is our way..do not interfere."
Susan: "But this is stupid! You're talking about the cold-blooded murder of almost two-thousand of your fellow sci-fi fans!"
Fan2: "Not our people! Trekkies!"
etc...

Fan: "Trek compete for limited resource of TV screening time. Trek devalue genre of science fiction. B5 must fight Trek."

Lennier: "At the Battle of the Line we found out where our souls were going. They were going to you. Trekkies are being reborn, in part or in full in Babyler's bodies. But the Spock-Ear council knew that your people and mine were not ready for this information..."
(Many months later...)
Delenn: "There are series in the universe billions of years older than either of our two shows! Once they walked among the ABC like giants, vast, and timeless with poor special effects, and worse costumes. But to all things there is an end. Slowly, over a million years the First Ones went away, passing beyond the ratings rim, while others went to sleep, waiting for the time when they would be needed, when The Footy Show came again."
Sheridan: "The Footy Show?"
Delenn: "We have no other name for it. The First Ones battled The Footy Show across a million years. The last great war was ten thousand years ago. After the war, the remaining First Ones left. All but one...
Sheridan: "All but one..who?"
Delenn looks at Kosh. Sheridan hits himself on the forehead..
Delenn: "That is why Kosh could not leave his Tardis..he would be recognised."
Sheridan: "Recognised, by who?"
Kosh: "Everyone...Would you like a jelly-baby?"
Delenn: "Then, last year, I sent Kosh a message.." (cue flashback)
Sheridan: "If yes was the answer, what was the question?"
Delenn: "Has The Footy Show returned to Cha'Nnel'Nine?"
Sheridan: "Cha'Nnel'Nine? That's the station, G'Kar's been warning us about all year."
Kosh: "Sheridan..Learn"
(Kosh activates his Vorlon-vision(tm) projector and Sheridan's face turns green. Sheridan has a vision of his wife's ship arriving at Cha'Nnel'Nine studios, and group of spacesuited figures walking onto a set, and in the darkness in one corner, Dermot Brereton(sp?) wakes up ominously..)
Sheridan: "They found something..they woke something up!"
(etc..)
(later, in Kosh's quarters)
Sheridan (entering): "I let him go. But there is a price attached. You've been teaching me to understand you..That's not what I want anymore. I want you to teach me, how to fight them! Because sooner or later, I'm going to Cha'Nnel'Nine, and I'm going to stop them!"
Kosh: "If you go to Cha'Nnel'Nine, you will die."
Sheridan: "Then I die. But I will not go down easily, and I will not go down alone. Will you teach me?"
Kosh: "Yes."

Delenn:"All life is transitory. A dream of a ST-free universe. We all come together in the same place at the end of time, if only to bag out Trekkies. If I don't see you again here, it's because I've been flamed. I will see you in a little while in the place where no shadows fall, simply because I've sent the Shadows out looking for the Trekkies so they're not around here at the moment."