There is some confusion as to how the D.A.N.G.E.R. application process works. It seems that the consensus is that D.A.N.G.E.R. applications are not read whole-heartedly, and the application is merely an arbitrary farce. This is the absolute truth. But, it is the only system we have. So, here’s how it works:

First of all, there is a litmus test question to determine the sanity and intelligence of the applicant. Get the question right, and a bright future awaits you here at D.A.N.G.E.R. If you get it wrong, you will toil away in infantry, where certain death will fall upon you within months. Of course, I will not tell you which question it is and what the correct answer is. Ha ha.

After that ever important question, further questions are asked to determine where the applicant will best be utilized here at D.A.N.G.E.R. These questions are carefully determined to place an applicant with all of the accuracy of blindly putting your finger down on a piece of paper.

After that scientific process, points are awarded for each question answered based on the evilness of the response. The points are then totaled to determine rank. You can rise through the ranks by earning points through exceptionally demonstrated evil. I feel that it is appropriate to say that bribes do help here at D.A.N.G.E.R. Send all money to Mike or Schmick c/o D.A.N.G.E.R at a secret location under some large body of water, NY, NY 10028.

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