The Long Road Home, part four

Hours later, night had truly wrapped its arms around the city, and a slight chill had settled in the air. Mara sat up abruptly, shivering, momentarily disoriented and unable to focus on exactly where she was. Stone. Lots of stone. Cold, hard stone. What the Sith was she doing laying on cold, hard, bare stone? She looked up at the stars and then, rapidly, to her left to see Luke flat on his back beside her, head pillowed on his robes, obviously fast asleep-as she had apparently been until a few minutes ago. She shook her head sharply, trying to shake off the haziness around her eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. The last thing she remembered was his voice telling her some overlong story about that lackluster planet he grew up on, and then...nothing but dreams. What had she been dreaming about?

Mara drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them, trying to will some warmth back into her body as she became more fully awake. This was weird, all right; she was sleeping on the Capitol roof with Luke Skywalker. They had spent hours looking at stars and ribbing each other. She had spent six days with him, fighting in hyperspace, and six months becoming friends with his twin sister. Both had been her sworn enemies. Luke had been her personal death mark for years. And now she had not only willingly spent the evening in Luke's company, but had been at ease enough to drift off into sleep.

Their conflicts had, for the most part, all been over for awhile now, but the effects of them still lingered. She could see that while she and Leia could only be called friends now, the Chief of State was concerned over her relationship with Luke. *What relationship?* She snapped at herself. She wasn't sure if Leia trusted her entirely, but she supposed that would come in time. It was very easy to forgive but much harder to forget. *That could be the theme of my life,* Mara thought wryly. Han was harder to read, but she could see that he respected her, and was much easier with people than his wife. Their children seemed very fond of her. Whatever had been between her and the Solos seemed to be fading away to nothingness--so that only left whatever was between her and the other twin.

Mara glanced down at him a second time, trying to remember what it was that she had been dreaming about. He had been telling her about a landspeeder race he had been in...he had won, she recalled...and the party afterwards at a pilot's house...some girl called Camie...and..

Her heart started to pound reflexively as the memory of her dream slammed through her. She had dreamed that she was that girl with Luke that night, had kissed him goodbye, and when he had won the race through the desert, she had met him at the party, where they had danced, and laughed, and then...*oh no.*

She started to get to her feet, only to be stopped immediately by the pull of a hand on hers.

"Mara."

"Let me go, Skywalker, it's cold and I am not spending the night up here."

She jerked free and stood up quickly, nearly falling back to the ground. He was beside her almost as fast, steadying her with a warm hand at her elbow.

"Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?" he asked, voice low.

Mara tried to moisten her dry lips, turning her head away from him, unsuccessfully trying to pull her arm free. "I told you, it's cold, and I have an aversion to sleeping on rock."

Unwillingly, she felt him turning her around to face him, and she still kept her face averted. "Come on, Luke, I'm freezing!"

They both froze in shock as they were taken aback by her first uttering of his given name. *It's just a name,* she whispered to herself fiercely as she slowly brought her face around to his. *It doesn't mean anything.*

Finally he said, his voice so low she had to strain to hear it, "Tell me what you dreamed, Mara."

She shook her head. "It wasn't important."

"It was a dream that you opened up to the Force. It must have meant something for you to be thinking about it so much."

She finally succeeded in pulling away, taking several halting steps away from him toward the door, shaking her head to clear it, before the impact of what he said really sank in.

"To...the Force? You mean.." she groaned, unable to believe she could have been so careless in her sleep. Without looking at him again, she started once again for the door, her feet moving far more slowly than she would like. She had almost reached it before she felt him move, and his hands were on her shoulders, first stopping, and then turning her around. She was stunned by the storm in his eyes as his gaze met hers, and slowly, his right hand lifted. Gently, he traced the line of her face from cheek to jaw with the backs of his fingers as his left hand ran lightly over her hair; Mara's breathing became shallow as his hand curved around the back of her head, pulling it towards him. "You are so beautiful," he murmured, wonderingly, as if he had just noticed. *No,* she thought desperately as their mouths met for the first time.

::Yes, I was there with you,:: he whispered like a caress in her mind, his hands cupping her face as the kiss deepened. Mara's senses were jumbled and confused, her hold on the Force weakening. His mouth on hers, so gentle, compelled her to let go completely. She could feel him reach into her mind and, unable to resist, followed where he took her. He shared the memory of the dream with her, the dream she realized he had been all too aware of. Dimly she felt her hands move up first to his chest, and then twine around his neck as the moments blended into one another. She was aware of his body, hard under her hands; aware of the strength she felt within him, a physical strength she had never been conscious of before; aware of his arms, wrapped tightly around her back; aware of the wind whipping her hair around his face. She was powerless to move away. This was a Luke she had never seen before-she supposed she had always known he was a man of great passion, he showed it in his teaching and in the way he cared for people-but she had never before realized it on such a large scale.

Carefully, slowly, she pulled away from him, and he let her, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then leaning his against it, his breath coming raggedly. Mara's eyes remained closed, her thoughts swirling together incoherently, her heart racing out of control. *What is happening here?* She thought dazedly. Her hands tightened convulsively on his neck, and he reached around, taking them in his and bringing them up between them. She opened her eyes as he kissed her fingers one at a time, lightly, and took several deep breaths. She could feel the effort within him to calm down, and eventually, she was able to match it. Several minutes after their lips had separated, Mara raised her eyes to meet his. His gaze was virtually impossible to read, and she was at a complete loss for words. This had to be part of the dream. Naïve farmboy and sarcastic trader seemed to have vanished, leaving in their places two silent Jedi, both stunned by how far they had come that evening and in the last few days. Both were wondering what had happened to the people who they had been but a week ago on Yavin Four.

Mara opened her mouth to speak, only to have Luke lay a finger on it to silence her. "Come on," he said quietly. "It's late. I'll walk you back to your room."

She stared at him for a moment, strangely disappointed and visualizing all too clearly the feeling of his lips on hers, and then nodded. "Yes," she replied, feeling foolish. "It is late."

Luke turned and headed for the door but didn't drop her hand until they had descended the stairs and entered the main building, and even then she felt his reluctance to do so. Their journey through the hallways was awkward and strange, and neither would look at the other. Mara walked beside him silently, not daring to speak for fear of what she might say, afraid and uncertain of what she was feeling. All too quickly, they reached the deserted corridor outside her room. She opened the key panel and punched in the code for the door, which slid open as the light came on automatically.

"Come in for a minute?" she asked, suddenly very self-conscious.

Luke smiled briefly, but shook his head. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

Mara stared up at him, heat rising in her cheeks as she caught his meaning. He was right...absolutely right. This was not something that could or should happen. *I don't even like him,* she told herself unconvincingly. *He's not my type.* Well, that certainly may have been true before, she thought next, but that had somehow changed in the last fifteen minutes. The Luke that stood before her, his eyes lidded heavily, the storm in them still brewing, the strength flowing through him so clearly she could almost reach out and touch it-this was not the Luke she had brushed aside on so many occasions. The power she felt within him attracted her so much that she wondered why she had never felt it before. She was powerless to stop her heart pounding in her chest all over again, so loud to her own ears she was sure he could hear it. As if in response, Luke took hold of her hand once more, placing it over his own heart so she could feel it racing. In that moment, her resolve snapped and she all but hurtled into his arms, smothering his mouth with hers, abandoning her carefully constructed control.

Somehow they managed to get inside the room and shut the door, and Mara found herself pressed up against the wall, his mouth on hers relentlessly, his hands roaming ceaselessly over her body. While the first kiss had been a simple, sweet thing, this one made it quite obvious to the two Jedi that there was much more between them than animosity and sarcasm; much more, even, than friendship. There was no slow buildup here. This was a ferocious passion, roaring through them like dry brush fire, pulsing through them, wet and slick. Her fingers tangled tightly in his hair, forcing his mouth closer and deeper, then her hands were loose and running down his sides as she felt him shudder in response. She was aware of him as she had never been of anyone before. This was a side of Luke she had never seen, never suspected was even there at all. It filled and intoxicated her, and she knew, instinctively, she was the first to see him this way.

Luke's breath strangled in his chest, his desire for her almost consuming him. The dream that he had tapped into had been like a door blowing wide open, and the things he had seen there had created a rush of feeling in him like he had never before known. The intensity of her response both thrilled and frightened him, urging him forward, driving him to an edge he had never reached. At that moment, there was only Mara; her brilliant hair fanned out over the wall, her body straining towards him, her mouth crushed beneath his, and, unlike nothing he had ever imagined, her Force sense creeping into his mind. He had never felt exactly this way before, this passion that verged on dangerous; the almost violent entanglement through the Force. His mouth ravaged hers, his hands unable to touch enough of her. They were one in mind, each one running forward, daring the other to follow, the seduction becoming so amplified Luke was nearly insane with wanting her. His mouth left hers to linger over her face and neck, her breath coming faster as he followed the collar of her robes, his fingers coming up to fiddle with the ties at her neck. Her eyes flew open as his did, his body screaming for her, and she showed him, through the Force, what she thought their next step should be. He could only nod, breathlessly, in agreement.

He bent at the waist and effortlessly swung her off her feet, her legs looped over his arm, her face nuzzling his neck. He started in the direction she indicated, every step carrying them closer to what now seemed like an inevitable conclusion. They had eased slightly out of the mind link to slow things down, and as Luke's mind began to clear a little, his steps also slowed. After what seemed like the longest moment of his life, he carefully set her back on her feet and stepped back a few inches, his eyes moving over her. Her emerald eyes were almost black with desire, her face flushed darkly, lips bruised. His hands in her hair had dislodged the last of the pins holding it together, and they now littered the floor beneath their feet. Her robes were askew, falling open to reveal enough flesh to make him take another step forward, and her lips lifted in a slight smile as she met his gaze, breathing hard.

Luke took a deep breath-several, in fact-and then dragged his hands through his hair and over his face, fighting for a semblance of calm before speaking. Unsure of what he was doing, Mara busied herself with straightening her robes and trying to restore order to her hair. "Leave it," he whispered.

"That's right," she replied, matching his sudden solemnity. "You like it down." She pursed her lips together, and then said, "OK, Skywalker, what's going on? That was you and I a moment ago, right? I am not sure I understand exactly what--"

"Mara." he interrupted her. "Believe me, right now, I want nothing more than to continue the journey we just began."

She looked away, almost shyly--well, as shy as Mara Jade could get-and then back, saying, "Then come here."

Luke sighed heavily, fighting down the impulses that raged through him, seemingly impervious to even Jedi control. "Ours has been anything but a calm relationship thus far," he began, and Mara snorted. "And, much as I do not want to return to my room tonight, I think maybe we should..." he stopped. "I just think maybe we're..." another long pause. "I'd like it to be more special than this, Mara...not from the roof to the bed in fifteen minutes. It means more to me than this. We tear each other apart enough verbally; I'd rather not do it physically as well." He sighed. "It sounds really, really stupid." The unsure farmboy had definitely returned.

A pang went through her suddenly, and she was surprised to realize that she was touched. "No, it doesn't." She stepped forward and raised a hand, smoothed his hair. "It sounds exactly like you, Skywalker."

Luke looked carefully to see if she meant that as an insult, but saw only sincerity in her now steady gaze. He grinned down at her. "I liked 'Luke' better."

She laughed at him. "We'll save that for another time, I think."

He bent his head, brushed a kiss over her lips.::Yes, we will,:: he whispered in her mind, unable to resist transferring a little of their earlier feelings back to her, pulling her against him briefly. She swatted at him with both hands.

"Get out of here, Skywalker, haven't your emotions caused enough Force disturbance this week?"

"Be nice to me, Jade, or that will be the last you see of them."

"I should be so lucky."

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, unsure of what to say or how to say it. Their usual wit seemed to have suddenly abandoned them.

Luke walked quickly to the door, turning back briefly as it opened. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

She nodded, and the door closed behind him. Walking to the bar, she poured herself a glass of water and, quickly draining half of it, sank into the sofa. One hand trailed up to trace the path his lips had taken across her neck, and disbelief began to settle over her. *What is going on here?* But as she drifted off to sleep, her only thoughts were of the way his eyes looked before he kissed her for the first time. *He kissed me,* she thought sleepily. *I must be insane.*

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It was hard to tell who was more surprised-Leia or Mara-when Luke burst in on their practice session the next morning, taking the trader by the elbow and escorting her from the room. "Sorry, Leia, she'll be right back, I promise." Leia stood, mouth open, as the door closed behind them, then shrugged, and lifting her lightsaber, reactivated the remote.

In the hallway outside the practice room, Mara turned to Luke with a smile. "Change your mind about last night? "she quipped. When he didn't respond, she said, "You couldn't wait until the session was over? At least bring your weapon and join in." He was silent, staring at her, his face expressing confusion and...hurt? Mara asked, "What is it?"

"Why is the 'Fire' being prepped for departure?"

She met his gaze evenly. "You know I can't stay here during this time. I told you on the trip I would be going back to Yavin."

Luke let his breath out in a rush. "You never said anything about when. It isn't until next week, Mara, and even then-I thought you had put your past behind you, I thought we were both doing that."

"This doesn't have anything to do with you. Yes, I am putting away the past-but surely you can understand what a painful time this will be for me, especially here, watching Coruscant celebrate the victory of the Rebellion!" Mara's eyes flashed emerald fire, her voice rising.

"You mean the victory of the New Republic, of the Alliance, which you are now a part of!" Luke shouted. He held up a hand when she would have jumped in, and his next statement was quieter. "I'm sorry. I know it will be painful. But you're not the only one who will be hurting, Mara. My father died that day. He died redeemed, but before I ever had a chance to know him, to learn from him, to understand him. I became the last of my name that day and , for a time, the last of the Jedi. I stood on Endor, I put Anakin Skywalker's body on a funeral pyre, and watched my friends, and my sister, rejoice over the death of the Emperor. Part of me was happy, but mostly I just felt alone. Alone and abandoned."

"Me too," she admitted. "Everything I thought I was died with the Emperor."

Luke paced away and back a few steps. "But Mara, that's just it- everything you were did die with the Emperor! You know you are not the same girl that he molded and formed to his whim. The Emperor's Hand is long gone and you are as much as part of the Light as I am now." He took her right hand in both of his. "Stay here, and face it."

"It's not just that." She looked away but made no move to retrieve her hand. "People shouldn't see us together, because of who I was."

"That doesn't matter anymore. It's been ten years. You have more than proven yourself to the Council. Besides-Vader's son and the Emperor's Hand-we both have those legacies to deal with. You don't have to do it alone. I'll be with you."

Mara looked back at him, her eyes solemn. "I don't know how I'll deal with it. You may not like what happens."

"Let me worry about that."

"You shouldn't have to."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "I want to. Let me." When still she hesitated, he said, "Don't be afraid of what's past. Only the future is frightening."

She caught his double meaning, and nodded. "All right. But don't tell me I didn't warn you."

He gripped her hand fiercely, but there was a twinkle in the seas of his eyes as he said, "I knew you'd see it my way."

Some of the life returned to Mara's eyes as she pulled her hand back and smacked his shoulder with it. "Get your immense ego out of here, Skywalker, unless you plan on coming inside and trying to beat me."

Luke snorted. "Trying? What are you planning on doing, tripping me again?" He ducked around her next swing and opened the door to the practice room. "After you, oh mighty Jedi."

Mara sauntered past him, casually unclipping her lightsaber from her belt. "I'm glad you finally realized my superiority," she said, and spun on him, blade ignited, as soon as he had closed the door. He laughed at the look of disappointment on her face when he brought his up immediately to meet it. "Have to get up a lot earlier to second-guess me, Jade," he called over the clashing blades.

"Hey, who invited you?" Leia shut the remote off. "I guess I get the winner."

"That'll be me," shouted her twin, easily parrying a side stroke from Mara.

"Don't count on it, farmboy," Mara spit at him.

"She's a sore loser, Leia." He laughed as she lunged at him. Leia stood back a ways and watched the sparring, and this time, seeing the brilliance of his smile, it was much easier to banish the uncertainty.

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The first day of the planned three-day celebration arrived far too slowly for the citizens of Coruscant who rose early to wait for it. The landing platforms of the capital city were busy all morning, bringing dignitaries from all over the galaxy to honor the heroes of the Alliance and celebrate the beginning of the New Republic ten years before. *Has it been ten years already?* thought Luke to himself as he walked the length of the Palace roof and back, over and over. Ten years since they had met the Empire's fleet head-on and won; ten years since the destruction of the second Death Star; ten years since his first victory over the Dark Side, the death of his father, the discovery of his sister, and the beginning of Mara's journey towards the Light. He could hardly comprehend the seemingly simultaneous passing of the years, in which he had done much to further the cause of the Jedi and restore them to a position of power in the galaxy. From his vantage point on the roof he watched the ships descending from orbit one by one, people streaming out of them into the buildings of the city. The streets were full of people already, yet dawn had not yet broken. The excitement in the air was palpable.

"I was wondering how long you were going to sleep," he said to Mara without turning. He could feel her move up behind him, knew she would step to the railing next to him before she actually did it.

"It's barely light out, Skywalker, I should actually still be asleep."

Despite her light tone, Luke could feel the tension she was trying to hide from him. "You didn't sleep at all, did you?" he asked.

He felt her shake her head.

"Why didn't you call me?" he went on. "I was up here almost all night." The knowledge that he, too, had been unable to sleep was a comfort to her somehow.

She shrugged. "I thought our troubles would intrude on each other. I didn't want to burden you with mine on the eve of the reminder of your own."

Luke reached over, took her shoulders and gently turned her to face him. "Mara, I am the one who insisted you stay here for this. I told you I wouldn't let you face it alone. I meant that." They had not really touched since the incident in her room six days before, and both had been careful to remain in the company of others while together. But he pulled her into his arms now, one hand coming up to stroke the hair that had been left down more and more often lately, and she rested her head on his shoulder, her breath coming out heavily.

"I thought I would be angry," she murmured. "I thought I would be consumed with nightmares again. I was afraid to stay, especially to be with you."

Luke nodded, though she could not see him. "Afraid that the Emperor and his commands still live in you somewhere?"

*He understands me so well,* she thought, deep inside her mind. "Yes...and I have come to a rather astounding discovery, for me," she said.

"What's that?" he whispered into her hair.

"I not only have no desire to kill you, I think I would be very, very sorry to see you die...Luke."

Luke tightened his arms around her, the unbelievable sweetness of her remark soaring through him like a spring breeze. He reached into her mind and wrapped a blanket of comfort around both of them, and they stood together, silent and still, as dawn broke over the city in a blazing display of color and light. "The universe holds many wonders for us," he said, watching it over her head.

She laughed a little. "Not the least of which, some would say, would be you and I, together on this roof right now." She shifted in his arms, turned her face towards the light. "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

Mara turned, so that her back was towards him, and leaned back into his embrace, her head falling back on his shoulder, her breath warm against his cheek. "This all just seems...very sudden. And surprising. And unbelievable. And surreal."

"Anything else?" he asked, smiling but serious. Mara looked up at him, and saw only light in his eyes, and relaxed a little. *One step at a time,* she thought. *Give it a chance.* "Okay, Skywalker, I'll try it your way." She reached up and placed a hand over his already open mouth. "Don't even say it."

Luke rubbed his chin in her hair, gently, and kissed the top of her head. "My way is the right way, Mara, eventually you will see that."

"Don't count on teaching me anything," she snorted.

Luke laughed. "Right, right...your training is complete. I forgot how good you are with a lightsaber."

When she whirled on him, eyes flashing, hand at her belt, he hauled her against him, kissing her with a thoroughness that made her momentarily forget what she was angry about. She started to smile back at him, then shook her head sharply. "That won't always work, you know."

"Worked that time," he said with an audacious grin. "We'd better hurry...we don't want to miss the start of today's events." He darted away from her swinging hand and dashed for the door, Mara just steps behind him.

Three hours later, Luke and Mara were mysteriously summoned away from the lunch they were attending and asked to meet Leia in a somewhat remote area of the Capitol. Their escort led them down several levels and then, surprisingly, outside to a small garden behind the main building that neither of them remembered being there. The guard left them at the gate in the surrounding wall with a brief salute, and, looking at each other in confusion, they entered the garden.

Inside the walls, meticulously sculpted paths led through a profusion of plants, flowers and trees to what seemed to be a center clearing. Hearing voices ahead, they hastened their steps, passing several benches and a small pond. They came around a bend in the path, and saw a small group of people standing in front of what appeared to be a sculpture of some sort. Luke's vision was obscured, however. Leia stepped forward to meet him, and as they embraced, he smiled over her head at the others: Han, the children, Chewie, the droids, Lando, Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, Winter, Wedge, and several other friends from time long past.

"What's going on, Leia?" he asked.

Leia looked up at him, taking a deep breath. Her face was solemn. "I had something done, Luke, that I hope you approve of. I thought this would be the best time to show it to you, but for reasons you will soon see, I thought it best we make this more of a family thing rather than a public one."

Luke stared at her for a long moment, trying to read her expression, then nodded. "I would like to see it."

Leia gestured and the group began to move to the sides, and taking her brother by the hand, she led him forward to the small stone monolith placed in the center of the clearing, a tree growing behind it. Luke sucked in his breath as he saw what was engraved on the stone:

'Anakin Skywalker. Jedi Knight and Father.'

He stood there for a long moment, one hand reaching forward and tracing the letters gently, before turning back to his sister. "You have finally accepted it."

She nodded. "I have." She reached up, tucked an errant hair behind her ear. "I thought this might be the best way-and time-to prove it to you."

Luke pulled her into his arms and they stood that way for a long moment, his chin resting on her hair, unable to believe that she had done this. He felt someone move and looked around to see Mon Mothma beside them.

"We honor the person your father was and became again, Luke," she said quietly. "We must begin to accept as well as condemn if we are to truly conquer the Empire once and for all."

Luke looked around at the faces of his family and friends, a new light in his eyes. He was no longer the only one who believed in Anakin Skywalker. There were now others...and hopefully, someday, Darth Vader would be remembered solely as the separate entity he had become at the end. A smile lit his face...until his head turned and he saw that Mara was gone.

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Part five