How to Win
Friends and Influence People ( Guidelines from Dale
Carnegie's " How to win friends and influence people" )
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six ways to make people like you
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person's name is to that
person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk
about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's
interests.
- Make the other person feel important - and
do it sincerely.
Win people to your way of thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument
is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's
opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and
emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes,
yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the
talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is
his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other
person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas
and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without
Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your
people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people's mistakes
indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before
criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct
orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise
every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your
praise."
- Give the other person a fine reputation to
live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy
to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the
thing you suggest.
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html
)
How to Stop
Worrying and Start Living ( Guidelines from Dale
Carnegie's "How to stop worrying and start living" )
Fundamental facts you should know about worry
- If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir
William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew
about the futures. Just live each day u ntil bedtime.
- The next time Trouble--with a Capital
T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
- Ask yourself, "What is the worst
that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
- Prepare yourself mentally to accept the
worst--if necessary.
- Then calmly try to improve upon the
worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
- Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you
can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how
to fight worry die young."
Basic techniques in analyzing worry
- Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia
University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by
people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on
which to base a decision."
- After carefully weighing all the facts, come
to a decision.
- Once a decision is carefully reached, act!
Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the
outcome.
- When you, or any of your associates, are
tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following
questions:
- What is the problem?
- What is the cause of the problem?
- What are all possible solutions?
- What is the best solution?
How to break the worry habit before it breaks
you
- Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping
busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing
"wibber gibbers."
- Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit
little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happines.
- Use the law of averages to outlaw your
worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's
happening at all?"
- Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know
a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself:
"It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
- Put a "stop-less" order on your
worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to
give it anymore.
- Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw
sawdust.
Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that
will bring you peace and happiness
- Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace,
courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make
it."
- Let's never try to get even with our
enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them.
Let's do as General
Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we
don't like.
-
- Instead of worrying about ingratitude,
let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus
healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we
expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
- Let's remember that the only way to find
happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
- Let's remember that gratitude is a
"cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful,
we must train them to be grateful.
- Count your blessings--not your troubles!
- Let's not imitate others. Let's find
ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and
"imitation is suicide."
- When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to
make a lemonade.
- Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying
to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others,
you are best to yourself."
The perfect way to conquer worry
- Prayer
How to keep from worrying about criticism
- Unjust criticism is often a disguised
compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember
that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
- Do the very best you can; and then put up
your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back
of your neck.
- Let's keep a record of the fool things we
have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's
do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive
criticism.
Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep
your energy and spirits high
- Rest before you get tired.
- Learn to relax at your work.
- Learn to relax at home.
- Apply these four good workings habits:
- Clear your desk of all papers except
those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
- Do things in the order of their
importance.
- When you face a problem, solve it then
and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
- Learn to organize, deputize, and
supervise.
- To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm
into your work.
- Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of
sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/stop-worry.html
)
The Quick and
Easy Way to Effective Speaking ( Guidelines from
Dorothy Carnegie's book based on Dale Carnegie's "Public speaking and
influencing men in business" )
Fundamentals of Effective Speaking
1. Acquiring the Basic Skills
- Take heart from the experience of others
- Keep your goal before you
- Predetermine your mind to success
- Seize every opportunity to practice
2. Developing Confidence
- Get the facts about fear of speaking in
public
- Prepare in the proper way
- Predetermine your mind to success
- Act confident
3. Speaking Effectively the Quick and Easy Way
- Speaking about something you have earned the
right to talk about through experience or study
- Be sure you are excited about your subject
- Be eager to share your talk with your
listeners
Speech, Speaker, and Audience
4. Earning the Right to Talk
- Limit your subject
- Develop reserve power
- Fill your talk with illustrations and
examples
- Use concrete, familiar words that create
pictures
5. Vitalizing the Talk
- Choose subjects you are earnest about
- Relive the Feelings you have about your
topic
- Act in earnest
6. Sharing the Talk with the Audience
- Talk in terms of your listeners' interests
- Give honest, sincere appreciation
- Identify yourself with the audience
- Make your audience a partner in your talk
- Play yourself down
The Purpose of Prepared and Impromptu Talks
7. Making the Short Talk to Get Action
- Give your example, an incident from your
life
- State your point, what you want the audience
to do
- Give the reason or benefit the audience may
expect
8. Making the Talk to Inform
- Restrict your subject to fit the time at
your disposal
- Arrange your ideas in sequence
- Enumerate your points as you make them
- Compare the strange with the familiar
- Use visual aids
9. Making the Talk to Convince
- Win confidence by deserving it
- Get a Yes-response
- Speakin with contagious enthusiasm
- Show respect and affection for your audience
- Begin in a friendly way
10. Making Impromptu Talks
- Practice impromptu speaking
- Be mentally ready to speak impromptu
- Get into an example immediately
- Speak with animation and force
- Use the principle of the Here and the Now
- Don't talk impromptu--Give an impromptu talk
The Art of Communicating
11. Delivering the Talk
- Crash through your shell of
self-consciousness
- Don't try to imitate others--Be yourself
- Converse with your audience
- Put your heart into your speaking
- Practice making your voice strong and
flexible
The Challenge of Effective Speaking
12. Introducing Speakers, Presenting and
Accepting Awards
- Thoroughly prepare what you are going to say
- Follow the T-I-S Formula
- Be enthusiastic
- Thoroughly prepare the talk of presentation
- Express your sincere feelings in the talk of
acceptance
13. Organizing the Longer Talk
- Get attention immediately
- Avoid getting unfavorable attention
- Support your main ideas
- Appeal for action
14. Applying What You Have Learned
- Use specific detail in everyday conversation
- Use effective speaking techniques in your
job
- Seek Opportunities to speak in public
- You must persist
- Keep the certainty of reward before you
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/easy-speaking.html
)
Don't Grow Old
- Grow Up!( Guidelines from Dorothy
Carnegie's book )
The first step toward maturity -
Responsibility
- Don't kick the Chair. Be willing to
account for yourself; don't blame others.
- Damn the Handicaps! - Full Speed Ahead.
Don't make a handicap an excuse for failure.
- Five Ways to Ditch Disaster:
- Accept the inevitable; give time a
chance.
- Take action against trouble.
- Concentrate on helping others.
- Use all of life while you have it.
- Count your blessings.<
Action is for adults
- Belief is the Basis for Action. Know
what you believe and act accordingly.
- Analyze Before You Act.
- Two Wonderful Words that Changed a Life.
When the time for action arrives, don't hesitate.
Three great rules for mental health: Know
yourself, Like yourself, Be yourself
- There's Only One Like You Learn to
know yourself by:
- Cultivating moments of solitude.
- Breaking through the habit barrier.
- Developing excitement and enthusiasm.
- Conformity: Refuge of the Frightened.
Be yourself by developing your own convictions and standards; then have the
courage to live with them.
- Why is a Bore? Develop inner
resources to avoid boring yourself and others.
- The Maturing Mind: Adventure in Adult
Living. Develop your mind through intellectual activity.
Marriage is for grownups
- How to Get Along with Women. Here are
seven ways:
- Give her appreciation.
- Be generous and considerate.
- Keep yourself attractive.
- Understand a woman's work.
- Be dependable.
- Share her interests.
- Love her.
- Father Come Home. Children need
fathers too.
- How to Get Along with Men. Here are
seven ways:
- Be good-natured.
- Be a good companion.
- Be a good listener.
- Be adaptable.
- Be efficient, not officious.
- Be yourself.
- Be glad you're a woman.
- The Rediscovery of Love. We must
develop a more mature concept of love.
Maturity and making friends
- Loneliness: The Great American Disease.
- People are Wonderful. Learn to
appreciate them.
- Why Should People Like You? They will
like you if you like them and develop qualities of warmth that attract
others.
How old are you?
- If You're Afraid of Growing Old, Read
This. Learn some of the facts about aging.
- How to Live to be 100 and Like it. To
live longer, develop attitudes that promote health of mind.
- Don't Let the Rocking Chair Get You.
Work as long as you can.
Maturity of spirit
- The Court of Last Appeal. When all
else fails, try God.
- The Food of the Spirit. Our spirit is
nourished through prayer.
( Courtesy: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/grow-up.html
)
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