Meadow in the Sky

-Heaven-

I started college in Harvard that fall, without my forever love Troy by my side. I left Tony alone at Farthy with the ghost that now is Jillian and with all the haunting memories of his sins. Though I too was just as alone as he. I had no one now and it seems that everyone one that matters aready has somebody and doesn't need me. Tom has his new dead end career, the man with whom I once needed love from the most had his circus and new family to take away his guilt, Fanny had Fanny and low-life men, Keith and Our Jane, who once needed my love the most, had their new parent who provided them with everything I couldn't provide at fourteen but sure as hell could provide now, and my once childhood sweetheart had his slew of girlfriends and no forgiveness for me. It was sad, the only one who needed me now was pathetic Tony.

Troy, Troy didn't need me it turned out...I needed Troy, for he was the only one, the only one...Oh Troy couldn't see how much your leaving me has pained me? Couldn't you you see that I needed you ten times more than you needed me? To hell with who we really are to each other, we love each other. Isn't that enough? Does our realation really matter? Is it really that strong enough to tear us apart, to take you away from me? Why couldn't you just had stayed? We could of ran off together, throw our names away and become whatever we want. To hell with everyone here! You and me, that was all we'd needed to suvive anything.

I couldn't help but cry as I sat there hidden away behind the back bookshelves in the school library. I looked up to the window at the rain falling. I smiled at bit at the thought that perhaps the sky was crying with me and juat maybe I wasn't that alone. But I was for their were no arms around me, telling me everything is going to be all right, no soothing whisper saying, "I'm here."

-Chris-

I couldn't help but study the girl crying in the library. What on earth makes a beautiful girl as herself cry? Simply not the rejection of a sibling or the painful memories of being locked away in an attic. She was probably crying because a boyfriend of her dumped her or maybe she's stressed from getting a bad grade on a test. Just when I thought there was no girl that could surpass my Catherine Doll's beauty, I now see that I may have found her match. But she was different though, a different kind of beautiful. She looked nothing like Cathy, just near the opposite in looks. Her hair wasn't shimmering gold but long cascading hair that looked like black satin, her skin was peaches and cream, the kind of skin I see my female classmates try to replicate badly with cakes of foundation and blush, her eyes may have been the same color as mine and Cathy's but her dark hair coloring and long lashes made them stand out profoundly in a heavenly manner. My Catherine Doll was a doll of percelain and gold locks, but this girl was a dark angel.

I didn't know if I should talk to her, if it was worth the try. She'll never be my Catherine Doll, but what was my Catherine to me anyways? And what could this girl be if I gave her a chance? Who am I kidding? Whatever I start with her, it will never be true. I can't have a realtionship with anyone here, not a real one, because who could I tell of my past and who would understand me the way Cathy does. I just don't think it's possible. Maybe that's why I cling to Cathy so. Because she's the only one knows and understands me and I'm too afraid to find another, believing and somewhat knowing there's no one who's like me.

This girl crying alone problably isn't as alone as I nor can she possibly understand my past. But knowing there's nothing that could hurt more than the loss of a sibling and father, the desertion of a mother, and Catherine finding another, I see that approching this girl and whatever happens after can't ever match that pain...