Albert's Holiday Jingle (sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland)

Lacy things - the girlfriend's missin',

Didn't ask - her permission,

I'm wearin' her clothes ,

Her silk pantyhose,

Walkin' round in women's underwear.

In the store - there's a teddy,

Little straps - like spaghetti,

It holds me so tight,

Like handcuffs at night,

Walkin' round in women's underwear.

CHORUS

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,

He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.

He'll say, "Are you ready?"

We'll say,"Whoa, Man!"

"Let's wait until our women are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna,

We can dress - like Madonna,

Put on some eyeshade,

And join the parade,

Walkin' round in women's underwear!

Lacy things - the girlfriend's missin',

Didn't ask - her permission,

I'm wearin' her clothes,

Her silk pantyhose,

Walkin' round in women's underwear,

Walkin' round in women's underwear,

Walkin' round in women's underwear!