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>Winterfresh or Mentos?
>Winterfresh or Mentos?
>Winterfresh or Mentos?
>Winterfresh or Mentos?
>Winterfresh or Mentos?
Just keep sayin it, the booger bears can't get ya
Just keep sayin it, the booger bears can't get ya...
Sisto kept repeating the mantra his Nana taught him as Asmodeous and Apollyon led him through the Sixth Circle of the Hell Mall (near the Sam Goody and the Pretzel Time) towards the Great Master. SATAN! Whose name he'd defiled--well, no, that's not possible. One cannot defile the name of the Lowest of the Low. But, one can infringe upon his copyrights.
It came like a rumble, slow and deep, then built to an earthquake...
"SSSSSSSSIIIIIIISCOOOO" roared the Demon Lord.
"Oh ho ho Pancho!" yelled Richard Nixon.
"Hey!" responded Sisto, doing the Nixon V sign. "How are ya--DAMMIT! That's the Cisco Kid! I'm SISTO!"
Nixon rubbed his stubble--the Kennedy Debate stubble, now eternally burned by Hellfire into his face. "Let me just say this about that--"
"Shut up, Rich Little! Yer dead! And I'm--"
"SSSSSSIIIIIIIIISSSSSSCO"
*GULP* "Oh, well , Hi there, Oh Lord of the Flies! You know, uh, really kinda... Sisto...is...name..."
The Dark One's eyes lit like a thousand cities on fire. Clouds of noxious fumes spread around his massive frame. "YOU--DARRRRE-TO QUESTIONNNN-ME?! YOU THOUGHT I COULD--" The Heavens quaked! The Oceans boiled! "--FORGET??!!"
*GULP* "You know, them horns, they bring out the color of your eyes...Burning cities, I'm guessing?"
"PAY ME YOUR DEBT--WITH YOUR EARTHLY SOUL!"
"Huh?? I ain't from Earth! And I paid Home Depot for the pitchfork! In quarters. From my quarter jar!"
The Artist Formerly Known as the Prince Of Darkness glared, and said: "THE SHORTENING! THE SHORTENING!"
Everyone in the Mall of Hell--Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Attilla the Hun (he worked at the San Francisco Music Box Company)--all gasped.
"Come ON! Are you nuts?" yelled Sisto. "That's CRISCO!"
The Demon Lord checked his notes. "Sorry! Guess my beef's with Betty Crocker."
Asmodeous held the elevator door open at the First Circle of the Hell Mall--actually, the first level of every Mall on Earth, all linked through the Sorcery Dark by a portal near Radio Shack. "Sorry bought the misunderstanding ," It growled to Sisto, "Please accept these cents-off coupons, good in any Hell-Run Mall on Earth, which is all of them."
"PHEW!" said Sisto. "For a minute I felt like--
FLAME BAIT!'"
Which is the moral of today's story. Morals, like Life, don't always make sense. Which is our other moral.
C & TM Mall of Hell Inc
