The Holy Toaster Bible
		The Creation of The Holy Toaster
			(Also the World)

1  IN THE BEGGINING, there was nothing.  Then the Holy Toaster god
didst create-eth a great and mighty toaster, which he didst make 
with many slots, and yea, verily, the toaster was great and mighty,
and didst have many slots.

2  And as he hadeth a few stars and planets lying-eth around-eth
that he had made-eth when he was bored-eth, he didst place this
Holy (and great and mighty!) Toaster upon one of these worlds,
which he didst call Earth, which means "Place where I'm putting the
Holy Toaster".

3  And he didst make bread and bagels and Pop-Tarts and other such
bread products, and yea, verily they were good, but when they were
place-ed in the Holy Toaster, and the Holy Toaster's Holy Lever was
pull-ed, they were heated and they became holy and yea, verily they
didst taste very good.

4  And he didst place upon the Earth mortals, who didst enjoy the
toast and didst praise the Holy Toaster god, and they didst sing,
"Oh Holy Toaster god, thou hadst made this Holy Toaster, and it
doest make Holy Toast and yea, verily it is very good."  And yea,
verily they were quite out-eth of tune.

5  And he didst make condiments to place on the Holy Toast, and the
mortals didst call these condiments, butter and jam.  And yea,
verily with the butter and jam, the Holy Toast didst taste very,
_very_ good.

6  But yea, verily the Holy Toaster only had three setting on it,
and they were call-ed Medium, Medium-Dark, and Dark.  And one of
the mortals, who was-eth called Whole Wheat, didst beseech the Holy
Toaster god, "Oh Holy Toaster god, this Toaster, though it is Holy,
doth keep the Holy Toast in too long.  And yea, veryily the toast
doth get hard and crispy, and doth often burn-eth.  Couldst thou
maketh a setting that doth keep the toast in for a very short
time, such that the toast is warm and doth melt-eth butter, but is
soft and doth digest easy?"  

7  And the Holy Toaster god didst take-eth pity upon this mortal,
and didst say, "Whole Wheat, I do take-eth pity upon you.  I shalt
grant thy wish."  And he didst say, "From this day forth,...

		      LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!