Does anything happen to make loved ones hate us so? Some may respond, yes, many things. But, a true love never would fret the small stuff. Just cherish it. Remember that someone may just have a crush on you, and you would be letting him or her down. Gender is not even in issue in true love.

Hope Has a Place
One look at love and you may see
It weaves a web over mystery,
All raveled threads can rend apart
For hope has a place in the lover's heart,
Hope has a place in a lover's heart.
Whispering world, A sigh of sighs,
The ebb and the flow of the ocean tides,
One breath, one word may end or may start
A hope in a place in the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in a lover's heart.
Look to love you may dream,
And if it should leave then give it wings.
But if such a love is meant to be;
Hope is home, and the heart is free.
Under the heavens we journey far,
On roads of life we're the wanderers,
So let love rise So let love depart,
Let hope have a place in the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in the lover's heart.
Look to love and you may dream,
And if it should leave then give it wings.
But if such a love is meant to be;
Hope is home, and the heart is free.
Hope is home, and the heart is free.
~Enya

Or maybe I didn't black out. No.... That would of been a fate to sweet for someone who loves so bitterly as I. I glance from the wool carpet to the clock again. The clock reads six, and my suspicions are put to rest by the dark golden hue glinting the door. My head is throbbing, as is my heart, which has not reduced to its normal state.

"Thank god my mind finally shut the fuck up," I say out loud.

Then I laugh at the ridiculousness of the sentence. What the fuck has happened? And then I have to take it all in again... the pain. The sting of the pain. It felt like a bone was poking at my lung and scraping at its sides. At that time, I thought it would be better to eat something. I had just managed to drag myself to my feet when there was a knock on my door.

"Alec?" shouted Quistis, "Alec, are you there?"

"Just a second Quistis," I said coughing. Little speckles of blood fell on my hand when I used it to cover my mouth.

I opened the door and let my teacher in.

"May I help you with anything, Instructor Trepe?" I said managing a false smile.

"Cut the sarcasm, Alec. You know that will not work on a teacher. You know why I'm here too. Care to explain what happened?"

"Oh.... That," I said turning my back to her, "I guess... Zell needed the win more than I did,"

Quistis forcefully turned me around and made me stare into her pale blue-green eyes.

"That is not the Alec I trained. Now, something is up and you better tell me,"

"I can't Quistis," I explained to her, "It's still to hard to get all out,"

"Then at least take my advice," she said leading me out into the hall and closing my door, "I have requested student counseling for you, and the student is waiting for you right now, as a matter of fact,"

"What?" I said in perfect surprise, "S-Student counseling?"

"Yes, and it will be good for you. He's waiting in my classroom, and two more things too Alec," she said before walking away.

"What is that Instructor Trepe?"

"One. By honest to yourself and others Alec, I hate seeing you clam up. And two, There is nothing wrong with being gay; I don't look at seeing you any differently. Maybe, next time you three will keep a better look out, before going bar hopping, ne?" she said with a small laugh sashaying down the hall.

"Damn.... What a good teacher," I said with a smile before running into Quistis' classroom.

When I opened Quistis door, I almost thought she was playing a trick on me. A student that looked twice my age, was sitting in her chair; his cowboy boots propped atop of her desk.

"Well," I thought to myself, "He certainly made himself at home,"

His auburn hair was tucked inside his ten-gallon hat, a pony tail the same length as mine dropping down his chest. He wore a Caribbean blue vest that made you curious to see just how big his pecs were, and if he were to notice he'd probably want to buy you a drink. He wore khaki colored breeches to top off his aloof personality, but I'd imagine it was more caring.

"Hello..." I said uncertainly, "Instructor Trepe told me..."

"Geez," he said smiling a little, "Are you in mourning?"

My first thought was to say yes to his little joke.

"Yes," I would say, "I'm mourning the total attempt of suicide and my one true love hating me,"

"No," I say returning his great smile, "I always wear black,"

He grinned even harder, "I was only kidding, anyway take a seat, uh..."

"Alec," I said sitting in the first bench.

"What seems to be the problem? Quistis told me you threw out training. That looks really bad on your score counts. If you want to be in SeeD, you have to be pretty perfect at everything..."

"I... I froze up. I couldn't fight against Zell," I said shivering a little.

"Is that who you were against," the man said in awe, "Were you afraid of his reputation? He has been a very good trainer,"

"No. It wasn't that... It was.... This guy went to block a shot for him. This guy... he... well never protected me once. Then when it was my turn to get hurt, he never protected me... Like... I thought he would..."

"This guy.... You’re.... Friends?" the man, asked.

Lonely tears clouds in my eyes, and I shake my head.

"You’re...not.... Gay, are you?" he said shocked.

I nodded my head, and then I really broke down. I buried my face in my bone white hands and long black coat. If there was one thing I didn't need right now was breaking down in front of a stranger.

"He must think I'm a disgusting creature," I thought.

I nearly jumped five feet when two strong arms embraced me forcefully. I began to cry into his wonderful chest (yes, his pecs are huge) and returned the embrace. He began to rub his hand across my back.

"It's okay, Alec," he said with sorrow, "I know, I know... let it all out,"

I look up with tear soaked copper eyes, into indigo pools in the middle of his face that spoke of a sadness that equaled mine. He then sat down next to me with his arm still around me.

"What's the problem, with you and this guy," he asked.

"His name is Squall, and.... Zell told him he was in love with him before I got the chance. In a way I know it's fair, because... I waited so long. They are know lovers for life, and my love goes unrequited,"

"It hurts," he said rubbing my back again, "It can bring you on the verge of break,"

"I know... I took care of Squall for so long, I sort of let him walk all over me in a way. But one night, I took Zell into my room, and he was only wearing a pair black briefs covered in Squall's cum. I had to take him in, then Squall came in too, and they discussed an intimate problem right in front of me. I couldn't take the pressure anymore so I ran out the room and ended up vomiting up half of my blood stream. Then, they took care of me. Then we had training...and you know what happened after that,"

"You poor thing, you've been treated so badly," he said throwing his arms around me and kissed me on top of the forehead lightly, "But, you know there is only one thing you can do, and that is to confront Squall and tell him your feelings..."

"Yes... I know, but it will hurt, won't it?" I asked him.

"Yes, it will... but it will hurt more if you don't tell him how you feel, and it will keep resurfacing down the road,"

"... I know, but... I have to do it. You’re right,"

The man gave me a tighter squeeze, "Good, and trust me it will all work out. For better, or for worse, who is to say, but you have to do something before it finally kills you,"

"You’re absolutely right... I think I'll even do it tonight," I said getting up; his arms still around me.

"That's the spirit," he said regaining his wonderful smile.

(Now this part is actually more desperate than anything else) I pulled his mouth onto mine, kissing his great lips, a kiss of thanks, and a kiss to relieve our pain. He smiled and gave me another hug before turning me out to go.

I walked to the door, "This whole time, I haven't even known your name, and you've been like the best friend I have ever had in my life,"

He tipped up the brim of his hat and smiled, "Irvine Kinneas, and I fancied our meeting as well,"

I smiled at him, for the first time in the week, "I have a feeling we will have plenty more,"

And I left him there, an all-knowing man with sharp indigo eyes, and a smile that can knock over anyone’s heart.

I returned to my dorm around eight. I was surprised how late it had gotten all ready. I knocked on Squall's dorm.

"Squall?" I yelled, "It's me, Alec! We need to talk!"

No one seemed to be there.

I turned to go down the hall. If he wasn't at his dorm, he was more likely at Zell's.

As soon as I got to the door, I thought I heard a man scream.

"That's odd....," I thought knocking one the door.

No answer either. I turned around when I heard an obvious scream behind the door.

"Nonsense Alec," my mind said, "They are probably making out, you'd just embarrass yourself,"

"No one makes out this early, and if I hold it off any longer I'll probably not even do it at all," I grumbled and knocked again.

No one. I was going to go in anyway. I grabbed the doorknob and watched it turn in my grasp. With a deep breath I entered into the dark room.

I heard what sounded like a muffled scream within the inner walls. I felt my hand across the peeling wallpaper for the light switch.

"Gotcha," I whispered and flicked on the light. The sight I saw was more horrible than I predicted. I had nearly winced at the sight myself.

"So glad, you could drop in Alec," Seifer grinned still atop his stolen prize.

Zell was bonded to the bed, ropes tying his arms and legs together. A scar ran down his left eye, and blood scrapes had settled into his inner thighs, and around his buttock. He was in the buff all right, and Seifer was without pants straddling Zell.

"Get off him now!" I screamed not even thinking, "That's rape, and you can be expelled out of this school!"

Seifer laughed, "Expelled? Who cares when I have what I want here?" He said bending down and licking Zell's cock.

Zell trembled with protest.

"You’re sick..." I said grabbing my staff from its holster.

"You’re gonna fight me?" he said grabbing Zell's growing shaft and squeezing it slightly, "You'd better do it quickly before I hurt this poor creature,"

Seifer's gun blade shimmered in the corner. He grabbed his pants and threw them over his erection and still trembling legs.

"What are you gonna do? You’re so weak...," he said laughing at me.

"I'm going to put your ego in check once and for all.... Men are people, not sex toys for you to shag whenever you get the slightest bit horny!"

He grabbed his gun blade and licked the side of it.

"Your a fucking bastard, you know that Seifer?" I said taunting at him.

He swung the sharp end down and I merely jumped out of the way. He fired a few bullets into my arm. The air now smelled of fresh gun powder, and black dust swirled around the ceiling in circles. He raised his gun blade up.

"Thunder!" I shouted a sent a lightning bolt flying at the sword. It acted as a perfect lighting rod, and Seifer dropped his gun blade.

I stepped on the hilt.

"Now get out! I'll handle you later," I shouted at Seifer. Seifer shrugged and ran out the door. I kicked him over his gun blade.

"This won't be so easy to get passed," Seifer said with a laugh, "I always get my way,"

"Whatever!" I said slamming the door.

I ran into Zell's bathroom and got a cool bowl of water and a wash cloth. I ran over to his side of the bed a pressed it against the side of his head.

"Damn..." Zell finally choked out, "I'm going to kill him,"

"Shh...." I scolded him, "I'm going to have to report him, you know. I'm so sorry this has happened Zell.... I should have been there,"

"It's all right.... Can you untie these ropes?" he said shaking his arms.

"Sure," I said climbing on the bed starting on the first one.

At that moment the door rattled opened, and I saw my love Squall.

"Squall.... I," I began.

"GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOYFRIEND!" Squall shouted brandishing his gun blade.

"W-Wha?" I said shaking my hands, "You don't understand!"

Squall ran over and grabbed me by the collar. He slammed me against the wall and held the blade's tip to my throat.

"Squall! Alec didn't...," Zell began.

But Squall was gone, far, far away. "Stay out, Zell... I got this one covered for you. Alec.... How could you? Rape my boyfriend? After all we did for each other... man... I should rip your throat out!"

"B-But.... I," I began but Squall's eyes were like a cool fire.

"YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!" Squall said taking his gun blade away, and lunging forward with it.

The blade struck me square in the chest right under the heart. I could almost hear the flesh from my lungs being ripped from the seams. Blood spurted and quickly doused the tip red.

"NO!" Zell shouted, "Squall! Alec didn't do it! Seifer did!"

I fell to the floor and began to crawl away. To the door. I needed to make it to the door. Get..help...

"What are you talking about! He was on the bed!"

"Smell the air!"

"It smells like gun powder, so?"

"Do you fire a gun blade in your room?"

"No,"

"Who else has a gun blade!"

"Seifer? Why.... Oh shit! Alec!"

I need to get aid. I need to get away.

"Alec!" Squalls shouted pulling me near him.

"Help…. No. Don’t help, but listen," I said panting, the gun blade shivering in my body.

"We need to pull the blade out! C’mon I’ll take you to the nurse!" Squall said examining the blood-soiled hole in my body.

"No. Squall I’m afraid I’m probably going to die here. Listen though. The reason I came here today was mainly because I had a confession to make. Squall, I love you. I’ve loved you from the first time I’ve laid eyes on you. I can’t say you felt the same way about me, but…. I never could tell you. I thought you were straight until Zell came along. Then you went out with a guy. It tore me apart, especially at the training field. I’ve always wanted to kiss you, or hold you. Even protect you. I’ve waited an eternity without the touch of your lips, and I’m afraid… I’ll have to wait an eternity more,"

"Alec…" Zell whispered from the bed.

Squall’s eyes began to water, "Alec… You loved me for that long? And…now I killed you, the man you loved killed you. I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry,"

"Don’t be. I was never intended to be a part of your destiny. Oh…" I said grabbing my chest. It would give out any second.

Squall put his hand on the back of my head and began to pull me forward. I was actually going to kiss Squall Leonheart. I was going to kiss him on the lips. Halfway there my heart started to murmur violently. I was beginning to falter and fell to the floor.

"No!" Squall said pulling me on to him, covering my lips with his.

This was heaven. I began to pull closer to Squall. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pushed me down onto him.

"Do you see Squall?" I thought. "These are the way things ought to be. Yet, I guess you shall forever remain one of the things I’ll never get. I’ll never even get a second chance at life,"

Squall began to plant feathery light kisses on my forehead.

"Alec…. You can’t die now. We have so many more memories ahead of us. Graduation, becoming SeeD together, going on more assignments…"

"Squall… I love you," I said collapsing onto his shoulder. Then the rasberry swirl of the pain dulled from rasberry to midnight blue, then to black. But for one moment it was a shining white. Whiter than any other pearl. A pearl of shining wisdom and beauty.

"Alec, just don’t go to sleep on me. Stay awake and we’ll get you help, don’t worry. Even though your heart is weak, our will is stronger. Will not let you get away from us so easily. Then we’ll confront Seifer together. We’ll make him pay for what he did to our lives…. We’ll make him pay. Right Alec?"

Squall got no response.

"Alec… You’re just sleeping, right? You don’t have to talk…"

Zell emerged from the bed, "I got those ropes off," he said putting his arm around Squall, "He really loved you… I should of… If only there were away I could of let him belong to you for awhile,"

Squall began to cry harder now, big long tears of sorrow; "I killed him… His blood is on my hands. Then man who loved me, I killed… Why? Why Zell, why did it have to end this way?"

Zell closed his eyes and sighed. He held Squall close to his chest, lying the body on the floor.

"We’ll never know… Maybe Alec knew more than the rest of us… But, his dorm, what is going to happen to him and his dorm? He never mentioned any family,"

"We will leave the dorm the way it is… He would like it like that, I know he would. It will be a reminder to all students, just how noble he was…"

"That’s a great idea, Squall…. We’ll tell Quistis, let’s go."

"Hold me Zell, make this nightmare go away,"

"I’m sorry Squall… Let’s go…"

"Zell?"

"Yes, Squall?"

"I love you,"

"I love you too,"

For some strange reason, Alec was cut out of the final released version of Final Fantasy 8. I guess they believed he would bring too much contraversy for the game. They forgot one thing though. Squall's neighboring dorm is left empty in the actual game. A reminder on how Alec stayed with Squall right up to the last hour.