Less than Perfect
Usagi-chan
usagi@tuxedomask.com
I don't own Sailormoon or anything pertaining to
E-mail me!

~~~

I knocked on Mamoru's door on time for once.  I was very excited to
be meeting his university friends.  This would be the first time that
I would be meeting any of them, and I wanted to make a good impression.
I had decided to dress up a bit, and I wore a short pink skirt with a
white sleeveless blouse. 

I waited patiently for Mamo-chan to open the door.  I thought he would
be surprised to see me on time.  Smiling to myself, I watched as the 
door knob turned and the door opened to reveal Mamo-chan.

"Mamo-chan!" I launched myself at him.

"Usako!  Your early!" He exclaimed.

"I know.  You said it was very important that I be on time today so I came
early, just in case." I told him.  "I really want to meet your friends
from university."

"That's good.  They really want to meet you, as well." Mamoru told me, still
holding me in his arms.  He led me to the living room and I looked around
No one was there yet.

"When are they going to be here?" I asked.

"In half an hour." Mamoru replied.  "I need to finish up in the kitchen, 
okay?"

"Sure." I smiled, knowing I would only cause a mess if I went in there.  
"I'll just wait out here."

Mamoru smiled at me before going into the kitchen.  I sat down listening
to him as he dried some dishes and put some water on to boil.  I picked
up one of his books and began trying to read it.

"Usako?" Mamoru asked as he went back into the living room.  "What are you
doing?"  

"Oh I..." I shrugged and set the book aside.  "Is everything ready?"

"Yes." Mamoru sat down on the couch next to me and wrapped his arm around me.  
Immediately, I snuggled up against him and sighed happily.

"Who is it that's coming today?" I asked after a moment.

"Yui and Kosuke." Mamoru replied.  "Yui and I went to high school together 
and now attend university together.  Kosuke and I met in university."

"Oh." 

"Usako?  What's wrong?" Mamoru asked as he began to play with my hair, 
letting it slid through his fingers.

"Nothing..." I told him.  I knew he wouldn't pressure me into telling him
so I just set my head against his shoulder and thought.

This Yui...  She knew Mamo-chan longer than I did.  I bet she's pretty
too.  And smart, like Mamo-chan.

Unconsciously, I sighed.

"You know, I'm glad you came early." Mamoru whispered.  "I like spending time with
you, just being somewhere."

"I do too, Mamo-chan." I sighed again and buried my face against him, smelling
the wonderful smell that just screamed Mamo-chan for me.

"They should be here any minute." Mamoru told me.  I was amazed how quickly
the time had flown, with just the two of us being peaceful together.

"Okay." I replied, not moving from my place in Mamo-chan's arms.  I felt
him gently nuzzle his face against my hair and kiss my head.  I raised
my head to meet his lips when the door bell rang.  I almost sighed, and 
Mamoru laughed at my expression.

"You are so adorable." He whispered, pressing his lips lightly against mine
before standing up to answer the door.

Mamoru came back with a pretty girl who had short black hair and piercing
green eyes.

"Hello." I smiled and tipped my head to the side.  "You must be Yui-san." 

"Yes." She replied.  "And you are?"

"This is my girlfriend, Usagi." Mamoru replied.  He sat down next to me
on the couch, placing his arm around my shoulders again.  I saw something
flash in her eyes at the word girlfriend and she seemed to be watching
Mamo-chan's arm around me.

I studied her, and noticed that she was a lot taller than me.  Her head
would reach just under Mamo-chan's, I thought.  

"Where's Kosuke?" Yui asked.

"I'm not sure.  Probably just late." Mamoru replied.  "If you'll excuse me
a moment."

Mamoru stood up and went into the kitchen.  I could tell he was watching us,
curious at how I would react with his long time friend.  He needed my 
approval of Yui, though I don't know why.

Yui's eyes fell on the book I had been trying to read earlier.

"I read that a few years ago." She picked it up.  "My favourite part was 
when..."

I was grateful that the doorbell interrupted Yui's sentence.  

"I'll get it." Standing up, I wondered how someone could have a favourite
part in a physics book.  Sighing, I opened the door and smiled at the
guy who stood there.

"I'm Kosuke.  This is Chiba Mamoru's apartment, right?" The short, light
haired guy asked.  I liked him instantly.  He was everything Yui was not.

"Yes, please come in."  My smile widened.

"You must be the ever beautiful Usagi that Mamoru always speaks of." Kosuke
said.  I blushed.

"Yes..  I'm Usagi." 

"Is the Ice Queen here?" Kosuke asked quietly.  I looked at him in 
surprise.

"Ic.. Ice Queen?" I asked.

"Yui." Kosuke clarified.

"Oh, yes.  Yui-san is here." I told him.  Kosuke sighed before I led
him into the living room.

"Kosuke-san!" Mamoru smiled at him.  This time I sat in the arm chair, leaving 
the couch and other chair to Mamoru and his two guests.  Mamoru glanced at me,
puzzled as to why I wasn't sitting with him.

"So, Mamoru-san...  Where did you find this lovely lady of yours?" Kosuke
asked.  Mamoru laughed.

"On the moon." He replied.  Yui smiled slightly, and I could tell she was
not pleased with the topic.

"As I was saying before Kosuke got here, this book is..." Yui began.

"Ah I'm sure Usagi-chan over there doesn't want to hear about this boring
science stuff." Kosuke interrupted her.  "I certainly don't!  I get enough
of it in class."

"Oh, that's okay." I didn't look up as I spoke.  "I don't mind at all."

Mamoru glanced at me, but I wouldn't meet his gaze.

"I think I'll go get the tea." Mamoru stood up.

"Do you need some help Mamoru-san?" Yui asked, immediately on her feet.

"No that's okay.  Usako can help me." Mamoru smiled affectionately at me as
I slowly got to my feet and followed him into the kitchen.

"I thought everything was ready?" I asked, confused as to why he would want me
in his sparkling kitchen.

"Usako, what's wrong?" Mamoru asked me, taking my hands into his.  "I know
something is bothering you."

"It's nothing, Mamo-chan." I tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong.

"Usako..." He said gently.  I sighed, almost giving in.

"Nothing, Mamo-chan.  Really." I smiled, trying to show him that everything
was fine.  I could tell I wasn't fooling him.  I turned away and set the 
silver spoons on the pretty tray Mamo-chan had.  I remembered the day I had
helped him pick it out.  There was a delicate rose pattern engraved on it.
Mamoru had our names and the date engraved on the bottom, as a reminder.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me." Mamoru exclaimed.  "And, Usako, I
want to help you.  Please..."

I could tell Mamo-chan was really upset, but I couldn't tell him of my 
doubts.  I didn't say anything, just turned and went back into the living
room.  Mamoru came out a few moments later.

"So, Usagi-chan, what school do you go to?" Kosuke asked.

"Juuban Junior High." I replied politly, trying to be as mature as Yui.
It scared me to death that she was Mamo-chan's friend.  What if he realized
that...  That she was so much better for him than me?  What if she...
I realized then that Kosuke was asking me something else.

"Pardon?" I asked, blushing.

"That's a good school." Kosuke repeated.  "Do you like it there?"

"It's all right I guess." I shrugged.

"And what do you do in your spare time?" Yui asked.  It felt like an 
nterrogation.

"Save the world as the pretty suited soldier Sailormoon." I replied
automatically, in a very serious tone.

"Yes, I can see that...  It's the hairstyle." Kosuke stroked his chin as
he spoke, then he laughed.  "Mamoru-san!  Your girlfriend has quite the 
sense of humour."

"What makes you think she wasn't serious?" Mamoru asked before smiling.  
"Would you like some tea?"

"I would." Yui glared at Kosuke.  Mamoru poured her a cup of green tea and 
handed it to her, before pouring Kosuke one.

"Thank you Mamoru-san." Kosuke accepted the cup.  

"Usako?" Mamoru asked, but I shook my head no.  "Some cookies?"

Again I shook my head.  At this point, I could tell Mamo-chan was very 
worried.  When had I ever said no to food?  

"Usako..." Mamo-chan said softly.  I looked at him, into his questioning 
eyes.

"So Usagi-chan, how did you and Mamoru meet?" Yui asked, trying to break
the connection Mamo-chan was aiming at.

"We met...  A long time ago..." I replied, referring to the Silver Millennium.
I knew Mamo-chan knew what I was talking about, as he picked up the tale.

"Usako was the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen." He smiled at me.

"I can see that..." Kosuke joked.  

"She was an angel sent down from the Heavens." Mamo-chan reached over and
ran a hand against my cheek.  I smiled at him, though it didn't reach my
eyes.

"Lucky Mamoru-san..." Kosuke sighed.  Mamo-chan laughed.

"Yes, I am.  No doubt about it." Mamo-chan's gaze lingered on my face, but I 
had looked away again.  My eyes were focused on the balcony doors.  

Kosuke reached over to pour more tea, and knocked the pot over.  Hot tea
splashed all over me and the teapot shattered.  I cried out as the hot 
liquid soaked my clothes.

"I'm so sorry Usagi-chan!" Kosuke exclaimed.  Mamo-chan was on his feet and 
beside me almost instantaneously.  He lifted me into his arms with an ease
and grace that never ceased to amaze me.  He carried me into his room, and 
set me down.

"Take your clothes off." He told me, before realizing what he said.  "I 
mean..." He stuttered.

"I understand." I smiled and peeled off the wet skirt and blouse.  Mamo-chan 
had turned away and gone into his closet.  He came out and handed me a shirt,
his eyes averted.  I accepted the shirt and pulled it around myself, 
buttoning the front.  

"Are you okay?" Mamo-chan asked me.  I nodded, although I was sure I was 
burned from the boiling water.  Mamo-chan seemed unconvinced and told me
to sit on the bed.

"But you have guests!  I'll be fine." I told him.  

"No, Usako." Mamo-chan shook his head.  "You come first."

"Alright..." I sighed and sat down.  Mamo-chan knelt in front of me, and
glanced up at me before gently lifting the shirt so he could see my legs.
The skin was bright red and sore.

"Oh Usako..." Mamo-chan whispered.  He got up and went into the bathroom.
I heard him opening the medicine cabinet and banging something around.  A
few minutes later he came back in holding a tube of some sort.

"This might sting a bit, Usako." Mamo-chan told me.  I watched as he squirted
the cream into his hand and carefully rubbed it in on the burns.  He was 
right.  It did sting.  A lot.  I whimpered softly and Mamo-chan looked up 
at my face.

"I'm sorry, Usako..." Mamo-chan whispered.  

"It's okay, Mamo-chan." I told him.  "It wasn't your fault."

Mamo-chan finished and stood up.  He tossed the cream onto the bed.  

"Come on, Usako." He offered me his hand and I accepted, standing up.  "Are
you ready to go back?" He asked me.  I looked down at myself.

"Like this?"

"Sure.  Why not?" Mamo-chan asked.  I thought back to Yui and the designer
brand clothes she was wearing.  She looked stunning in her black pants and
hunter green top.

"I don't know, Mamo-chan..." I looked up at him uncertain.  

"If you don't want to, Usako..."

"It's not that, Mamo-chan.  It's just..." I let my voice trail off and sat
back down on the edge of Mamo-chan'd bed.  He sat down next to me, and gently
took my hand in his.

"What is it, Usako?" He asked me.  

Good question.  What *is* bothering me?  I mean, Mamo-chan has never been 
more loving and caring.  I have no reason to suspect anything.  He and Yui 
have known each other for such a long time...  I always told Mamo-chan that 
I want to meet his friends, but...  I sighed mentally.  But I know there 
are so many women out there who are so much more deserving of Mamo-chan.

The thoughts brought tears to my eyes.  I began sobbing, crying heart
wrenching tears.  Mamo-chan was shocked that I had suddenly burst into
tears.  He pulled me against him, hugging me tightly.

"Usako...  Usagi what is it?" He asked me, completely bewildered at my 
mood swings.  I didn't reply, I just kept sobbing into his shirt, unable
to stop myself.

"Oh Mamo-chan...  I'm so..  sorry..." I tried to gulp in air, but was 
crying too hard.

"Usako... Usako..." Mamoru murmured against my hair.  I could tell he was
completely confused, but I couldn't exactly explain it to him.  Besides,
he had his guests.

"You should go back to Yui-san and Kosuke-san..." I mumbled.

"I'm not leaving you like this, Usako." He told me, trying to comfort me,
but it just made me feel worse.  

"Is everything alright?" A voice asked from the other side of the door.  It
was Yui.

"Just a second, Usako." Mamo-chan gently released me and I noticed that the
front of his shirt was smeared with the light make-up I had worn, hoping
to look older and more mature.

"Your shirt..." I whispered.  Mamo-chan looked down but shrugged.

"It'll come out, Usako..."  He gently caressed my face before going to the
door.  "I think it would bee best to postpone this until next week."

"No!  Mamo-chan, it's fine.  I'll be fine!" I protested from behind him, but
he made no sign that he heard me.

"I don't know when I'll be free again, Mamoru-san." Yui told him.  I had 
the feeling she was testing him, trying to find out how important she
was to him.

"I'm sorry, Yui-san.  Usako isn't feeling well." Mamoru told her.  

"Hey!  That's fine." I heard Kosuke.  "We'll come back another day.  I hope
you feel better soon Usagi-chan!  It was nice meeting you!"

It was nice to know that someone liked me.

"Well, I'll go then." Yui turned and headed towards Mamoru's front door.
"I guess we'll have to work on that project another time."

I knew that tactic.  She was trying to make me jealous by letting me know
that she would be seeing Mamo-chan again.  I also knew the tactic was
working extremely well.

Although I had managed to muffle my tears while Mamo-chan had been talking to
his friends, the second the front door had shut, I was unable to hold back
anymore.  I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life before, but 
even the prospect of losing Mamo-chan...  It was too much for me to bear.

"Usako!  Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Mamo-chan asked, at my side
once more.  I could hear the frustration in his voice, and I knew it was 
himself he was angry with.  He felt that he should automatically know
what I was upset about.

"It's not your fault, Mamo-chan." I sniffled.

"Oh Usako.." He held me tightly as my tears began to subside.  I still had
no clue how I was going to explain to him why I was crying, and I know that
after crying like _that_ I would have to explain.

"Usako, are you alright?" He asked gently.  Slowly I lifted my head to 
look at him and I nodded slightly.  Unexpectedly, Mamo-chan crushed me
to his chest again.

"Usako!  Don't scare me like that!" He exclaimed.  Startled, I looked up
to see tears in his own dark blue eyes.  

"Mamo-chan...  I'm so sorry..." I whispered, before pulling away.  "I'd
better go."

I stood up from his bed and turned to where I had tossed my clothes.  I
began to pull on my still wet but no longer hot skirt.  

"Usako, where are you going?" He asked, confusion and hurt played across
his handsome face.  A wave of guilt washed over me.

Mamo-chan has never been anything but perfect, and loving to me.  Why
couldn't I have been born more like someone deserving of him?  More like 
Serenity?  

Hot tears began to fill my eyes again, but I willed them back.  I didn't 
want to cry in front of Mamo-chan anymore.

"Home." I mumbled.  I began unbuttoning the shirt Mamo-chan had lent me
and reached for my own shirt.

"Usako." The way Mamo-chan said was enough to make me freee, dropping my
shirt, I turned to look up at him.  Silent tears streamed down his cheeks
as his stormy eyes gazed into mine.  His lips trembled slightly as he
began to speak.

"What did I do, Usako?  What did I do to make you leave me?" His voice 
was filled with anguish.  It took all my strength not to throw myself
in his arms and reassure him.

Maybe this is for thes best.  He'll be able to move on, to someone better.
Someone like Yui.

One final glance at his face and I turned to leave.  Except it didn't 
happen that way.  When I saw his face, I did throw myself into his arms.

"Mamo-chan, Mamo-chan!  It's not you, it's me...  It's all me." Fresh
tears soaked his shirt.  Mamoru clung to me like a life line.

"I don't understand, Usako."

"I'm... I'm..." I pulled away.  "Well look at me!  My hair's a mess, my 
make-up's smudged, my clothes are all wet and a mess.  I'm not smart
like you, or organized or a good cook or... Or anything!"

"I love you, Usako.  I love you the way you are!" Mamo-chan told me, gently
stroking my cheek.

"Only because of the past, because of Serenity and Endymion. I'm not
Serenity.  I'm not like her at all..." I found I couldn't meet Mamo-chan's
eyes.

"I don't care about the past, or Serenity, or Endymion.  I care about
you, Usako.  I love every little thing about you.  I love the way
you are so willing to help out when someone needs you, how you are always
there to lend a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to speak to.  I love how
you aren't afraid to let the world know how you feel about something, or
someone.  I love you Usako, more than anything in this world or the next."

I was stunned by Mamo-chan's words.  Deep down, I knew what he said to be
true.  I could feel it in every fibre of my body.  He loved _me_ for what
I was, for exactly what I was, and in his eyes, I was nothing less than
perfect.

~~~