Guilt Usagi-chan Usagi@lunap.com http://hop.to/minako_usagi I don't own Sailor Moon or anything pertaining too. The fact is a true Canadian statistic. Also, I'm not quite sure how you make odango, so they have sugar in them and you bake them, k? ^_^ *** Usagi sighed as she gazed up at the full moon. A gentle breeze blew through the open window, jostling her filmy curtains. Dressed in silky pink pajama's, the Moon Princess stretched and yawned before looking wistfully at her bed. "Not tonight, Usa! You have a test to study for..." She sighed and turned her attention back to the books spread out in front of her. The numbers jumped out at her in a jumbled mass but Usagi's mind was firmly set. She was going to pass this test, or die trying. "And I've certainly had enough death..." She muttered to herself as she picked up her pencil. "Tangent's, here I come." Furious pencil scratching ensued as the slender blond began studying the pages and pages of notes, working out various math problems and checking her answers. When she had finished, the full moon was almost finished blazing her way across the sky. Usagi yawned and let her pencil fall to her papers. "Enough of this..." She whispered, before climbing into bed, careful not to wake Luna. Sleep came easily that night, and before Usagi knew it, her alarm clock was going off. ** Usagi walked back into her apartment and dropped her school bag down next to her kitchen table. Humming to herself, she reached into the cupboard and pulled out a tin of cat food. "You know I hate that stuff Usagi-san!" Luna exclaimed hopping up onto the counter. "And you know I don't like you standing on my counter. Now shoo! You have to eat this, Luna." Usagi replied, opening the can with her electric opener. After dumping the mushy food onto a plate, Usagi set it on the floor and Luna heaved her delicate feline shoulders. "Eat up Luna, and I'll let you out to play with that little white cat you like so much." Usagi teased. Luna sniffed and held her head up snootily. Usagi laughed and grabbed her bag before heading into her bedroom. Still humming to herself, Usagi pulled a few text books out of her bag and tossed them on the bed. She flopped down and began to read through the assigned chapters. "Well Luna, did you know that 'one out of five teenage girls will be abused by their boyfriends'. Isn't that awful!" Usagi exclaimed. She looked over at her cat, whom had made herself quite comfortable on Usagi's window sill. "Usagi-san, quit studying and get out for a bit." Luna said suddenly. Usagi looked up in surprise and laughed. "After all those years of telling me to study, your telling me to go play?" Usagi asked. Luna peered seriously at Usagi, red eyes clashing with blue. "Usagi-san, I worry about you... You work too hard now." Luna stood up and moved towards Usagi. Nuzzling her head agaisnt Usagi's chin, Luna continued to speak. "You can't let that weigh down on you for the rest of your life." "Luna..." Usagi warned, tears threatening to fall at the mere mention of the accident. "Luna please... I need to study." Sighing, Luna leapt off the bed and left her charge alone. "I don't know what to do about her, Artemis." Luna sighed. "She's not the Usagi we used to know..." "She's letting that one event ruin the rest of her life..." Artemis replied. "And it was an accident! A simple accident! It wasn't anyone's fault. Minako made her own decision. " Luna hung her head, shiny tears sliding through her fur. "Minako was always head strong. She wouldn't have listened to Usagi anyway." Artemis' voice faded to a quiet 'meow' as someone rounded the corner. A tall, dark haired man was approaching Usagi's door. He knocked three times, and waited. A few seconds later, Usagi opened the door. "Hi." "Hi, I live next door. My name is Chiba Mamoru. I was wondering if I could borrow half a cup of sugar." The man sighed. "I'm having a visitor from work and I was trying to make some odango, but it's failing miserably." "Odango?" She asked, moving into the kitchen. Mamoru remained in the doorway. "Yeah. It's my boss's client, and I lose my job if I lose the client. Why is it that I'm telling you all of this?" The man laughed. "Because I'll come over and help you out." Usagi replied, handing him a cup of sugar. Luna, who had stepped in right behind the man, had heard the entire conversation and was very startled be Usagi's offer. "Really?" The man's eyes widened. "You are a true angel!" Usagi looked away as he said that. "No, I'm not." She whispered, but the man had already headed back to his apartment, so Usagi followed quickly. ** "So your majoring in physics at UCLA?" Usagi asked. "Yeah. What about you?" Mamoru asked. "I'm doing psychology there." Usagi told him. The pair were seated at his kitchen table waiting for the odango and drinking coffee. "Psych? Really? Then you should know Yuki. Tall, dark hair..." "Yeah, she's in a few of my classes." Usagi nodded, flooded by the feelings of disappointment. "She's one of my best friends! She's dating another friend of mine, Furuhata Motoki." Mamoru smiled. "They're practically married." "Yeah, I have a few friends like that." Usagi laughed. "So where are you from? Usagi isn't a common name around here." "Neither is Mamoru." Usagi pointed out before answering. "I moved here from Japan, not too long ago." "Where in Japan?" Mamoru asked. "Tokyo, the Juuban District." "Really? I'm from the same area." Mamoru laughed. "So is Motoki. Funny that we didn't know each other there." "Yeah." Usagi smiled half-heartedly. "Hey, what's wrong?" Mamoru asked. "Nothing. It's okay." Usagi looked up at him, her eyes filled with pain. "It's okay, Usagi. You can tell me." "It's... It's just talking about Japan... It reminds me of why I left." "And why's that." "I.. I lost a friend. Someone very close to me... It was my fault, and... We were close, almost like sisters. We even looked alike..." Usagi shook her head. "I don't really want to talk about it." "Okay, I understand." There were a few moments of awkward silence before Mamoru spoke again. "How come I've never seen you around campus before?" Mamoru asked. "I don't spend much time there, except in classes or in the library." Usagi told him. She stood up and went to peek into the oven. "You don't do anything extra curricular? No clubs? Nothing?" Mamoru looked surprised. "Nope. Too busy with the work load." "But half the fun of university is the socializing. Tell me your at least going to the frat party tomorrow night." Usagi shook her head and picked the oven mitts up from his counter. "Why not? It's a Friday night, so you can catch up on all your homework Saturday and Sunday." "I'm just not that interested. I don't know that many people around, and..." Usagi's voice trailed off and she shrugged. "I'll take you, and introduce you to everyone." Mamoru offered. "No, that's okay." "You helped me, so I'll help you. It's a fair exchange." Mamoru pointed out. "It's okay, really." "What are you planning to do Friday night?" Mamoru asked. "I have a paper due Monday." Usagi replied. "Paper or party. Paper or party..." Mamoru looked thoughtful for a minute. "So it's settled, I'll take you to the party." "But I..." Usagi began, but Mamoru interrupted her. "I will not have a beautiful girl sitting alone at home on a Friday night. It's settled." Before Usagi could protest, the door bell rang. Mamoru looked at the clock in shock. "He's early!" Mamoru leapt up and grabbed a tie off the counter, and quickly tied it around his neck before grabbing his suit jacket and pulling it on. He ran a hand through his hair before going to answer the door. Before Usagi could react to anything, the oven timer went off and she quickly shut it off. She pulled open the oven door and took out the odango. "Sano-san, it's a pleasure." Usagi could hear Mamoru greet the man who had just entered. "You as well, Chiba-san. This is my wife Yuriko." "It's nice to meet you." Mamoru spoke again. "You as well." A soft voice murmered. "If you'd like to have a seat, I'll bring something to drink." Mamoru offered. "That would be wonderful." Mamoru re-entered the kitchen and look at Usagi. "I don't know how I'm going to get you out of here without them noticing." Mamoru told her. "It might..." A shadow fell across the pair causing Mamoru to grow silent. He slowly turned around to see Yuriko standing in the doorway. "Oh I'm sorry! I came to see if you needed any help. I didn't realize your... girlfriend? was here." A slight blush stained Yuriko's face. "She was busy tending to dessert." Mamoru smiled a dazzling smile. "Yes, this is Tsukino Usagi." "Hello." Usagi smiled at the young woman. "I have everything under control in here, if you'd like to re-join your husband." "Of course." Yuriko smiled and made a quick exit. "Girlfriend?" Usagi asked, looking at Mamoru quizzically. "Sorry. I have to keep the client happy." Mamoru grabbed the tray he had set up with cups, sugar and milk. He quickly poured four cups of coffee and picked the tray up. "Come on." Mamoru nodded for Usagi to go first. "Are you sure about this?" She asked. "Don't have much of a choice now." He told her, then smiled. "It'll be fun." "Fun. Right.." Usagi muttered before pasting on a bright smile and heading into the living room. "I told you." Yuriko told her husband as Usagi walked in. "So Chiba-san, you do have a girlfriend!" Sano-san laughed. "I thought my wife was just so tired of having dinners with all the single men I do business with. I must admit, it is a nice change." "I'm glad you think so. This is Tsukino Usagi." Mamoru smiled politely. "It's wonderful to meet you Tsukino-san." "Usagi, please." She smiled. "Coffee?" The evening flew by for Usagi. She hadn't allowed herself to have that much fun in ages. Everytime she laughed or smiled, she told herself it was only to help Mamoru, but she knew she was lying. She was really enjoying herself. "Thank you, Usagi. You saved me a lot of trouble by being here." Mamoru smiled at Usagi who was elbow deep in bubbly water. "It was fun." She smiled a bit. "Thanks anyway. You don't have to do the dishes. I'll do them in a bit." "It's okay, I'm almost done anyway." Usagi shrugged and quickly rinsed the last of the dishes before setting them in the drying rack. She dried her hands on a dish towel. "Thanks." "Your welcome." Usagi smiled. "I'd better get back to my apartment. It's getting late." "Sure." Mamoru smiled. "Do you want me to walk you?" "Next door? No, I think I'll be fine." Usagi opened the door. "You know," Mamoru held the door as Usagi slipped her shoes on. "I kind of liked the idea of you being my girlfriend." Usagi looked up at him, shock written on her delicate features. "You hardly know me." She stood up. "But I'd certainly like to get to know you." Mamoru smiled. "Why don't we go to a movie or something Saturday, and see what happens?" "I... I dunno, Mamoru." Usagi looksed unsure. "What's the worst that can happen?" Mamoru asked. 'I can have fun, like tonight.' Usagi thought. 'I can start to enjoy myself, and forget the pain, forget my grief...' "Maybe." She replied, with a shy smile. "Alright, you can tell me tomorrow after the party. I'll pick you up at seven." "Sure. Bye Mamoru." "See you tomorrow Usagi." ** True to his word, Mamoru was ringing her doorbell at exactly 7 p.m. Usagi sighed and quickly ran her brush though her hair. She was dressed in a simple blue slip dress and had slipped on a pair of white sandals. When she opened the door, Mamoru grinned at her. "You look great!" He exclaimed. "Thanks." She grabbed her purse and keys before stepping out the door. "Shall we?" ** "Hi Mamoru." Yuki grinned as Mamoru pulled a reluctant Usagi into the frat house. It was only 7:30, and everything was already in full swing. "Hey Yuki! Motoki!" Mamoru greeted before weaving his way towards them. He kept a firm grasp on Usagi's hand, pulling her behind him. "Whose that?" Motoki asked. "Usagi." Usagi replied. "How... quaint." Yuki smiled. "Really, that's adorable." "Taken to robbing the cradle now, Mamoru? That desperate for a date?" Motoki teased. "Hey! She goes to our school. She can't be that young." Mamoru shot back, with a grin. "Besides, I can't determine with whom I fall in love!" "Love? When did that come into the picture?" Usagi asked, her blue eyes wide with mock astonishment. "You mean you didn't know? Usagi, I love with all my heart!" Mamoru declared. Usagi burst out laughing. "Right..." Motoki laughed. Mamoru smiled at the laughing blond, and decided that, although they were only friends now, he was sure he could love her. And he was fairly sure she could care about him, if he could convince her to give him a chance. "I do recognize you," Yuki spoke suddenly. "From... psych 204?" "Yeah." Usagi nodded. "You know, she reminds me of Janet." Motoki suddenly said. "They could be twins or something. They look identical!" "Your right." Mamoru nodded. "Same hair, same eyes, even the same build." "And they both look so sad..." Yuki mused. "Whose Janet?" Usagi asked. "The only other person I've been told I look a lot alike was..." She let her voice trail off as a picture of Minako flittered into her head. "Janet's friend of mine." Yuki replied. "You do bare a startling resemblance to her." The thought chilled Usagi , but before more could be said on the subject, someone approached the group. "Hi Mamoru..." A silky voice greeted. "Hi Janet." Mamoru replied. "Hey Janet." Yuki smiled at her friend and moved over on the couch to make room for her. Janet didn't get as far as the couch when Usagi looked up at her and gasped. "Mi.. Minako?" She asked softly. That caught her attention. Janet's blue eyes clashed with Usagi's and her jaw fell open. "Usa...?" She asked in disbelief. "Minako. Minako-chan!" She nearly screamed. "Oh my god! I thought you were dead! I thought I'd... We all thought..." "Usa..." Minako repeated softly. "Minako, we saw the building collapse... How is this possible? How can you be alive?" Usagi asked, tears filling her eyes. She ignored the inquisitive looks from the other three. "Usagi..." Minako glanced at Motoki, Yuki and Mamoru before grabbing Usagi's arm. "Let's talk about this outside." Usagi followed Minako outside onto the front lawn. She looked at the blond and waited for Minako to speak. "Usagi, first of all, I want you to know that I care about you. You are my best friend, you always have been, and what I did had nothing to do with you." "All this time, Minako. We thought you were dead. I blamed myself..." "I never wanted that, Usagi! I never wanted anyone to blame themself. I needed out! I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't lie to my parents, and everyone I met. I never wanted to be a senshi. First, it was kind of fun, catching the bad guys in England. I was a teen idol." Minako paused. "It got too serious in Japan, Usa. People were getting hurt, getting killed! Too much was resting on our shoulders, and I was afraid I would let you down." "Minako, we all had fears. We all were afraid of what destiny had dealt us, but we had each other. You didn't have to fake your own death! You should have talked to us. We would have understood, I would have understood." Usagi peered into Minako's eyes. "For weeks after the building had collapsed we were all a wreck. I should have stayed behind in the building. It should have been me who was in there when it collapsed. Not you. And when we searched, we couldn't even find your body. I couldn't live with myself..." Usagi's voice trailed off and she choked back tears. "And all this time you've been alive..." Minako stared up at the stars and spoke quietly. "I'd understand if you hated me, Usagi." "Minako... I could never hate you." Usagi told her. "No matter what." "Why are you here?" Minako asked after a few moments of silence had passed. "After you... left, we fell apart. We couldn't deal with the grief. We all went our seperate ways, and I ended up at UCLA." Usagi replied. "Like destiny, we found each other again." Minako mused. "Minako, will you tell the others?" Usagi asked suddenly. "Will you let them know you are okay?" Minako looked at Usagi with tear filled eyes. "You can't ask me to do that." "Why not? They deserve to know you are alright. They care about you! We all do! Minako, they need to know. You don't have to go back, just tell them ypi are alive." "I'm.. I'm afraid. What if they hate me? Reject me? How could I live with myself then?" Minako asked, sobbing. "Minako, do I hate you? Did I reject you?" Usagi asked softly. "Minako, they care about you too much. Please." Usagi held out a small pink communicator, and Minako stared at it for a long moment before taking it from her hand. "Are you sure?" She asked, and Usagi nodded. Minako took a deep breath before pushing the all call button. "Minna? Sailor Venus here...." *** The end.