*    *    *


                        Ranma Ichibunnoni
                         Episode Twenty


                           *    *    *

     "Ranma, would you get Ranko?"  Kasumi smiled down at Ranma.
     "Huh?"  He looked up.  "Oh...sure, Kasumi."  
     Ranma knocked on their door.  "Ranko-chan," he said, "you
might want to come out for this..."  There was no answer.  "We're
going to decide what to do with the last wish," he added.
     The door swung open.  "Well, why didn't you say so?" Ranko
asked brightly, smiling at him.  
     Ranma's mouth fell open.  "What?" 
     Ranko grabbed him by the arm.  "C'mon, Futago-kun, we wouldn't
want to miss this for the world, would we?"
     Ranma peered at her, nonplussed.  "Ranko?  What's wrong?"
     Without stopping, Ranko gave her brother a wide-eyed look of
innocence.  "Wrong?" she asked.  "I'm more worried about YOU,
brother mine!"
     Ranma missed a step.  "Me?" he asked.  
     Ranko grinned.  "Yeah, YOU, mister.  What with your two
fiancees."
     Ranma blinked.  "What's wrong with that?"
     Ranko smacked him upside the head.  "What do you MEAN, what's
wrong with that?  Everything!  That's what's wrong!  Baka!"
     Ranma smiled, but it faded altogether too soon.  "Why are you
doing this, Futago-chan?"  
     Ranko smiled back at him.  "Doing what?" she inquired
innocently, opening the door to the common room.  Ranma glowered at
her, but stepped forward into the room anyway.
     Genma beamed at the pair.  "Ah, there you are.  Now that
everybody's here, we should get down to business."
     Ranko looked at the dirty old lamp in the centre of the room. 
"Is that it?" she asked.  
     Akane nodded.  "Yep!  We found it buried beneath a pile of
panties two feet deep," she added disgustedly.
     Ranko examined it.  "It doesn't look like much."
     Nabiki shook her head.  "You weren't here when Happ--"
     Soun quickly threw a hand over his daughter's mouth.  "Don't
say that name!"
     Ranko looked puzzled.  "I thought he was safely tied up
downstairs..."
     Genma nodded.  "He is...but you never can tell, with HIM."
     Ranko gave her father a cool look.  She scanned the room. 
"Where's Ryoga?"  
     Akane blinked.  "You still want to see him?  After...I
mean..."  She blushed.
     Ranko gave Akane a cold stare.  "Did I say that?  I asked
where he was.  Don't put words in my mouth, you minx."
     Akane sat up sharply.  "Hey!" she said, hurt.  
     Ranma grinned.  "Well, it's true," he said.  "You *are* a
minx.  Not to mention kawaiikune..."  Akane slammed his head into
the wall.  
     Ranko grinned and shook her head.  "That's my baka twin again. 
Some things never change, ne?"
     Nabiki arched an eyebrow.  "My, *you're* certainly in a
cheerful mood today."
     Kasumi smiled.  "Yes, isn't it nice?"  
     Ranko turned to Kasumi.  "Kasumi, Martians have invaded the
United States.  Lee Iacocca is the Anti-Christ.  Corn Flakes cause
cancer."
     Kasumi smiled.  "Oh, that's nice."
     Ranko gave her brother a quick smile.  "That's what I
thought."  Ranma laughed.  
     Akane took Ranma's hand.  "It's so good to hear you laugh,"
she said softly.  
     Ranma blinked, then took back his hand.  "Geez, Akane, you
make me sound like I'm depressed all the time, like that dumb Ry--" 
The words seem to stick in his throat.  He coughed uncertainly.
     There was silence in the room.  Soun took advantage of it to
launch into his plan.  "Well," he said, "as you all know, we've
defeated the evil master, and have taken control of the genie lamp
he was going to use for world domination.  Rightful possession of
it falls to us, as a group.  Now, as far as we know, we've got one
wish.  All we have to do is figure out what to use it for.  Any
questions?"
     "Yeah," said Nabiki.  "How are we going to decide?"
     Genma smiled.  "We'd figured on a vote...whichever idea has
the most votes wins."
     Ranko shrugged.  "Sounds fair," she said.  
     Ranma nodded.  "Fine with me."  Similar sounds of agreement
came around the room.
     "Good," said Soun.  "Now, how about some ideas?  For example,
oh, totally off the top of my head, chosen completely at random, we
could wish for Akane and Ranma to find true love together."
     "WHAT?!?" yelled Ukyou and Ranma.  
     Akane blinked in surprise, then blushed belatedly.  "What?"
she asked, with slightly less force than Ranma had used.
     Nabiki rolled her eyes.  "Forget love," she said.  "Wish for
money--or better yet, power.  You can always buy love."
     "That's horrible!" said Ukyou.  
     "That's business," corrected Nabiki.
     "What about happiness?  Or eternal bliss?" asked the
okinomiyaki chef.  
     "I think world peace would be a good idea," commented Kasumi. 
Everybody stared at her for half a second, then shook their heads
at the thought and went back to brainstorming for a realistic wish. 
     "Do we even know the limitations of the wish?" asked Nabiki. 
"It may not be able to solve the world's problems--or in the way we
want it to.  Ever hear about the monkey's paw?"
     "Don't they make soup out of that in China?" asked Ranma.
     "That's pandas, I think, or maybe tigers," said Akane.  
     "Maybe you use panda paws in YOUR soup..." said Ranko.
     "Could we please not mention panda soup?" asked Genma a little
nervously.
     "Why?  I'd like to make some right now," said Ukyou.
     "People!  People!" shouted Nabiki.  "And others!  We're
getting nowhere fast.  What I was trying to say, is that the wish
might pervert a wish like that.  For example, if we wished for
world peace, it might kill off all life on Earth.  Lots of peace,
that way.  Or maybe just deprive us of free will.  An end to world
hunger might cause overpopulation, or possibly just rid us of the
desire to eat, while we still die from starvation.  You can make
them complex to try to avoid such 'twisted wishes', but the more
you do, the worse your chances get to screw it up.  And we've only
got one chance here - no wishing to have never wished for anything
allowed."
     Ranma looked thoughtful.  "So we should wish for something
simple?"
     Nabiki nodded.  "Like a few trillion yen, say."
     Ranko snorted.  "Money can't buy happiness."
     Nabiki smiled.  "A vicious lie spread by the poor."  
     Ranko rolled her eyes.  "I was being serious!"
     Nabiki smirked.  "So was I.  Even if you believe money can't
buy happiness, you have to admit it gives you your choice of
miseries."
     Ranko sighed.  "How about you, Akane?  You haven't said
anything yet."
     Akane blinked.  "Um...I don't know.  I think I need some more
time to think about it."
     Soun bent over and whispered in his daughter's ear.  "Love...
think love...Ranma..."
     Akane glared at him.  "Aren't subliminal messages supposed to
be inaudible?"  
     Kasumi smiled.  "How about you, Ranko?  You haven't said much
yet."  
     Ranko gave Kasumi her best smile.  "Gee, Kasumi, I hadn't
thought about it.  I guess I'll just go with whatever Futago-kun
decides."  
     Ranma looked startled for half a second.  "Gee," he said,
rubbing the back of his head.  "I dunno.  I think I'll abstain or
something."  
     Ranko looked at him, startled.  "And risk being made to fall
in love with Akane, against your will?"  
     Ranma blinked.  "Er..."
     Ranko smiled.  "Why don't we vote to become the most powerful
martial artists there ever were?"
     Ranma grinned.  "Sure.  Sounds cool."  
     Soun smiled and raised his hands.  "All right," he said.  "How
many votes for money?"
     "Hei," said Nabiki.  "Just think how many problems we could
solve with that money...you wouldn't have to work...you could have
a really extravant wedding for Ranma and Akane..."
     "Hey!" said Ranma, Akane and Ukyou, all together this time.  
     Nabiki shrugged.  "I gotta get my support where I can," she
said.  
     Soun shook his head.  "Right, that's one.  Any more?"  Nobody
spoke up.  "World peace?"  Kasumi put up her hand.  "One for world
peace.  True love for Ranma and Akane?"  
     "HEY!" yelled Ukyou.  "That's unfair!  And biased!"
     Genma smiled at her.  "Well, what if we were to throw in true
love for you, too?" 
     Ukyou latched onto Ranma.  "My true love is right here," she
said.  
     Ranma turned on her acidly.  He felt a hand lightly touch him
on his side, out of view.  He stopped and turned back, letting Ukyou
hold onto him.  Akane stared in surprise and then glared at him,
hurt.  Ukyou beamed back.  Ranma frowned, but decided to table his
questions for later, when he and his sister could be alone.
     "Well," said Soun, "I'm sure we can work it out, right?  Maybe
we could add something to the wish to split Ranma into two
people...okay, that's two--any more?  Come on, Akane.  You know you
want it..."
     "I do NOT!" shouted Akane.  Soun flinched.  
     Genma patted his son on the back.  "Come on, Ranma m'boy,
everybody *else* is doing it..."
     Ranma punched his father.  "Dry up and die, old man."
     "Yeah," said Ukyou angrily.  "Just say no."
     Soun sighed.  "All right...that's two...contingent on nobody
changing their mind.  Happiness?"  Ukyou put up her hand.  "That's
one."  Soun looked around.  "Anybody else?  No?  Good.  Then True
Love wins by one vote, and--"
     "Ahem," said Akane.  
     Soun waved his hands.  "Not now, Akane..."
     "SOME of us haven't voted yet," she said, glaring at him.  
     Nabiki smiled lazily.  "Well...we can't have a vote without
everybody participating.  How about we leave the vote until after
the three of you have voted?  Say, tomorrow morning?  All in
favour?"  
     "Hei!" came five voices.  
     Nabiki smiled.  "Well then...I suggest we put this somewhere
for...safekeeping.  Wouldn't want anybody to steal it during the
night."  She looked at her father with a purposeful look.
     "Ah, yes," said Soun.  "Good idea, Nabiki.  We have a safe
right here..."  
     "Which you have the combination to," said Nabiki.  "I think
not.  On the other hand, I have a small safe which needs a key, and
I will allow it to be borrowed.  For a fee, of course."
     Akane snorted.  "And how many copies of the key did you make? 
Get real, Nabiki."  She turned thoughtful.  "How about a trap?"  
     Soun looked at her blankly.  "What?"
     Akane smiled.  "A trap.  Have the lamp in plain sight, but
anybody who tries to touch it sets off all kinds of alarms."
     Ranko nodded.  "Sounds good," she said.  "Of course, who can
we get to make it?  I mean, it's not like any of us have any
experience with that sort of thing..."  Ranma opened his mouth. 
She elbowed him out of the sight of the others.  
     Nabiki smiled.  "I know a fair bit about that kind of thing,"
she admitted.  
     "So we're agreed?" asked Genma.  Everybody nodded.  
     "Well...hahaha!  I have to go to bed early, tonight!" said
Soun.  
     Genma blinked, then nodded furiously.  "Oh!  Right!  So do I!"
     Ukyou smiled.  "I'm still tired from this morning.  I think
I'll turn in early, too."
     Nabiki smiled lazily.  "Well, I for one will be up late making
that trap as good as possible.  I should be in bed by two, though."
     Ranko smiled as well.  "Well, Futago-kun and I are really
beaten up from the fight...we need to rest and recuperate.  Shall
we, Bro?"
     Ranma smiled at her.  "You bet, Sis."
     Kasumi was left alone.  "Oh, my," she said.  "I think I'll do
the washing."  She smiled and left.

                           *    *    *

     Genma and Soun met.  "Saotome, you know what we have to do,"
said Soun.  
     "For the good of our children, Tendo," agreed Genma.  
     "We'll get up at four, when nobody's awake.  No simple trap
can keep us from our mission.  And even if the alarm does goes off,
I'll just say I was getting a snack.  It's the perfect plan."  

                           *    *    *

     Ukyou smiled to herself.  "They don't know it, but I'm about
to make everybody so *very* happy...we can all have our hearts'
desires...can't they see it?  They'll thank me once I'm done. 
And...Ranma will thank me..." she sighed in happiness.  "Dozens and
dozens of times...each time more passionately..."  She snapped back
to reality.  "I mustn't daydream," she admonished herself.  "I have
to be up by three-thirty."

                           *    *    *

     Nabiki looked at the lamp, newly-trapped.  "People that
trusting *deserve* to lose their chance.  I'll pretend to go to
bed, get up at three and disarm my own trap.  Idiots."

                           *    *    *

     Akane glared around suspiciously.  "They're all plotting
something--I can tell," she muttered darkly.  "Do they think I'm
stupid?  I'll just have to stay up and listen all night, just in
case any of them tries something funny."  She sighed.  "I wonder
what I should vote for..."

                           *    *    *

     "Come on, Ranko," said Ranma.  "Tell me what's going on."
     Ranko smiled at him.  "What's going on?  Whatever do you mean,
brother?  I'm very tired, and I'm in a lot of pain.  I should like
to go to sleep, I think."
     Ranma gnashed his teeth.  Suddenly, he smiled.  "Fine," he
said smoothly.  "You win."
     Ranko gaped at him.  "I do?" 
     Ranma kissed her chastely on the cheek.  "It's just nice to
have you back, Sis."
     Ranko turned off the light, but Ranma caught a split second of
his sister's face turning crimson before everything went black.  

                           *    *    *

     "Oh, my," said Kasumi.  "We need some more bleach.  I think
I'll go to bed early and buy some tomorrow morning."

                           *    *    *

     Two thirty.  At a time when most of the city slept, one
individual was awake.  Ranko quietly crept out of bed and snuck
downstairs, making full use of old skills that she hadn't used in
months, maybe years.  
     Getting downstairs unseen and unheard was a snap for Ranko. 
The lamp, on the other hand, required some thought.  She admired
Nabiki's handiwork as she gazed the sight of it.  Trip wires all
over the place, a locked safe, even a motion detector.  She paused. 
And was that...a laser beam?  Where the heck was Nabiki getting all
this from?
     She carefully made her way in.  Some of it required thought
about how to disarm or go around a particular part; other times, a
good perspective was all that was needed - except that sometimes
meant hanging from the ceiling or creeping low under the furniture. 
Still other parts simply had to be dealt with more creatively; for
instance, turning off the power to the house.  Finally, after what
seemed an eternity--but which Ranko knew could only have been
fifteen minutes at the most--she reached the safe, unlocked it, and
nearly blew everything when the alarm clock inside the safe went
off.  She yelped in dismay and smashed it into a thousand pieces,
then grabbed the lamp and turned to leave, hoping nobody had heard. 
     She snuck out of the room without hearing any footsteps from
upstairs, and sighed in relief.  "Going somewhere?" came a voice
from behind her.  
     Ranko nearly shrieked but bit her tongue just in time.  A drop
of blood made its way down her lips.  She spun to find Ranma
leaning on the doorframe.  "I woulda figured you coulda taken that
out in five minutes, Sis--I've been waiting here for the last ten. 
What took you so long?"  
     Ranko stared.  "How...how did you know...?"  
     Ranma sighed.  "You *did* kinda make it obvious, Sis.  At
least, to someone who knows you as well as I do.  And we both
learned the same skills, you know."
     Ranko grinned.  "Yeah.  I never thought going hungry so often
would pay off."
     Ranma grinned in return.  "We made a good team.  Too bad it
was for stealing things.  You distracted, I stole.  You were always
better at distracting.  And I was always better at sneaking.  You
forgot that tonight, Ranko."  His smile faded.  "Mistakes in this
sort of thing can cost you big time."  He made a slicing notion
with one finger across his neck.  "But it was fun while it lasted--
like a game, really.  'Course, that could'a been 'cause Pop made us
start while we were in kindergarten.  Maybe that's why we've turned
out so weird, you think?"  
     "I'm surprised to hear you say that, Ranma," said Ranko.
     "Do you see anybody else around?" asked Ranma with a quick
grin.  Then he sighed.  "Maybe if we had had more money, we
wouldn't have had to move so much...and we could have made more
friends..."
     Ranko smiled.  It was not a wistful smile.  "Yeah.  That would
have been nice."
     Ranma frowned at her.  "Now, why are you doing all this? 
What's *your* wish?  Why couldn't you just vote on it?  You know
I'd support you...and I could get Akane to go along, probably...and
if it was important enough, I could get Ukyou, too...I mean, if I
promised to go out with her, I bet she'd do anything I asked--and
in a contest between the two of you, your wish would come first,
you know that."
     Ranko's face screwed up.  "Not this wish," she said in a low
voice.  Then she shook her head.  "I've figured out the best wish
of all, Ranma."  She looked at him earnestly.  "All of us--me, you,
Akane, Mister Tendo, even Ukyou will gain from it."
     Ranma looked at her suspiciously.  "Oh, yeah?  So what is it?"
     Ranko smiled.  "Oh...nothing important."
     Ranma didn't blink.  "Like heck it is.  Spill it, Sis, or I
yell and scream and wake up the house."
     Ranko's smile wavered.  "You wouldn't."
     "Try me."
     Ranko forced a smile.  "It's eternal happiness.  Like Ukyou
said."
     Ranma shook his head.  "You're lying."
     Ranko stomped her foot.  "Dammit," she sighed.  "Sometimes, I
hate you being able to read me like that!"
     Ranma waited.  "You're stalling for time," he said.  
     Ranko sighed.  "Okay, okay.  Look...I've figured out the
source of all our problems."
     Ranma looked interested.  "Oh, yeah?"
     Ranko nodded.  "Mm-hm.  And I'm gonna get rid of it."
     Ranma nodded slowly.  "Well...I guess that doesn't sound
bad...but what *is* the source of our problems?"  He scratched his
head.  "I mean, I've been trying to figure that out for some time
now..."
     Ranko smiled.  "Jhusenkyou, of course."
     Ranma shook his head slowly.  "Lie, lie, lie.  Don't you trust me
anymore?  What happened to you when you ran away?"
     Ranko's face contorted into an angry mask.  "Damn you!  Okay,
fine, be that way."  She sighed.  "It's me."
     Ranma blinked.  "What is?"
     Ranko rolled her eyes.  "The problem, baka!"
     Ranma frowned.  "I don't follow you."
     Ranko patiently explained.  "All our problems have been caused
by ME.  Think about it, Ranma.  Who here can't trace their problems
to me?"
     Ranma snorted.  "Me, for one."
     Ranko rolled her eyes again.  "Yeah, right!  Without me, you
wouldn't have three fiancees."
     Ranma grinned.  "Yeah, without you, I'd probably have four. 
And at least two of them would be nuts."
     Ranko punched him in the shoulder.  "I was being serious!"
     Ranma shook his head.  "I appreciate the thought, Sis, but I
don't see any problem."
     Ranko sighed.  "Well...fine, okay.  Then there's Mom."  At
Ranma's puzzled look, she elucidated.  "It was only that silly
little contract Pop signed that's causing the problems there...you
know, that 'manly man' garbage...if I wasn't here, you could go
home."
     Ranma snorted.  "Aw, Pop'd find some other stupid way to screw
things up.  You know him."
     Ranko shook her head.  "He's not *that* bad...I mean, sure, he
can be pretty bad sometimes, but not like that.  Not on purpose. 
Besides, he wants to see Mom just as much as we do--maybe more.  He
at least *knew* her."  She sighed in frustration.  "Well then--you
already mentioned one problem...if I hadn't have been there, you
would have had more food, and more money for clothes and
shoes...you could have stayed in one place longer, and made
friends..."
     Ranma snorted.  "We probably would have chosen to steal if Pop
hadn't made us, you know.  Besides, Pop liked to wander.  I
wouldn't have made many friends without you there.  Heck, I
probably would'a made more enemies, like Ryoga."
     Ranko threw her hands in the air.  "Make up your mind! 
Well...what about Kuno?"  Ranma noticed she hadn't even paused for
breath and his heart sank.  She'd obviously been giving this a lot
of thought, and that worried him.  "If he hadn't fallen for me, you
two wouldn't have had to fight so much!"
     Ranma flexed his arm.  "Kuno's good exercise," he said, trying
to keep the mood lighthearted.  
     Ranko sighed, but she smiled a bit, too.  "You're impossible! 
Besides, even if he is a moron, Kuno still has feelings, and I've
hurt them."
     Ranma shrugged.  "So?  If not you, some other girl.  Akane,
maybe.  Or maybe somebody that couldn't fight back.  You'd rather
that happened?"  
     Ranko winced.  "That's not what I meant and you know it.  Okay
then--Ukyou.  Without me, she'd never have come looking for me...
for you, I mean...and you wouldn't have another fiancee, and she
wouldn't be so heartbroken."
     "Heartbroken?"
     Ranko stiffened.  "You can't tell?  She really loves you,
baka!  You're hurting her!"
     Ranma blinked.  "I didn't know."  Ranko raised an eyebrow. 
"Okay...fine.  I didn't want to know," he amended.  "I didn't think
about it.  I owe her one, you're right.  I'll try to make things
better for her."
     Ranko shook her head.  "Then there's Akane...if I hadn't
caused that problem in the bath...or beaten her up...or insulted
her so much...or did everything else I did...she and you would have
gotten together and admitted your love for each other so much
sooner."
     Ranma stiffened.  "Hey, who says we--"
     Ranko smirked.  "Oh, so you didn't like kissing her?"
     Ranma blushed.  "That's *not* what I--wait, how did you--?"
     Ranko laughed merrily.  It echoed inside the house.  She
blanched and quickly shut up, hoping nobody had heard her. 
"Shampoo!" she said, darkly.
     "Huh?" asked Ranma.  "What about her?"
     "If I hadn't beaten her up, she wouldn't have followed us all
the way here.  And you wouldn't have had to go through all that."
     Ranma snorted.  "Shampoo was pretty unbalanced to begin with--
those wacko Amazon laws and all that.  I bet you if you hadn't been
there, she'd still have found some way to chase after us.  Heck, I
bet you if it'd been up to me, I wouldn't have been stuck with just
one Amazon, I'd have gotten three of 'em following me all over
Nerima!"
     Ranko shook her head.  "You come up with such simple answers,
Ranma...but life isn't that simple.  Besides, all that sounds like
a badly-written manga plot."  
     Ranma grinned.  "At least I don't have green-haired alien
princesses chasing me."
     Ranko grinned back.  "Yeah.  Thank goodness for the small
stuff."  She sighed, her smile slipping.  "Fine.  Ryoga."
     Ranma winced at that one.  "Well...I know he must have really
hurt you..." he said, discomfited.
     Ranko's eyes widened.  "Ryoga?  He'd never hurt a fly!"
     Ranma nearly facefaulted.  "Uh...Ranko...you *do* know that
Ryoga is...um...is...well--"
     "A pig?" Ranko supplied.
     Ranma looked at her, puzzled.  "Yeah.  Wait, I mean a *real*
pig...not just acting like one..."
     Ranko grinned.  "Of course I know, silly!"
     Ranma's head swam.  "How long have you known?"
     Ranko snorted.  "Longer than you, apparently."
     Ranma stared at his sister.  "And you...you still took him to
*bed* with you?"
     Ranko hit him in the stomach.  "Don't you say things like that
about me!  I found out when I was running away, baka!"
     "Oh," said Ranma, sucking in air.  "So why are you the cause
of all *his* problems?" he asked sarcastically.
     "If I hadn't knocked him into Jhusenkyou he wouldn't have
wanted revenge for turning his life into Hell, and you two would
still be friends," she replied seriously.
     Ranma shook his head.  "That guy has always been pig-headed. 
He was destined to be a pig."
     Ranko glared at him.  "How *dare* you say that about the man
I love?"
     Ranma gaped.  "The WHAT?!?"
     Ranko blushed.  "Oops."
     Ranma grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes.  "You
love him?"
     Ranko turned away slightly, breaking out of his grasp.  "I...I
don't know.  Sometimes I do.  Mostly, I just think he's too good
for me."
     Ranma shook his head.  "Ranko, he turns into a barnyard animal
and sleeps with you without your consent.  He's seen you naked a
dozen times.  He's probably the biggest pervert besides Happosai in
existence.  And he keeps trying to kill me.  How can you possibly
love him?"
     Ranko sighed.  "I don't know...but I do."
     Ranma nodded.  "Okay.  Good enough for me.  Good luck."
     It was Ranko's turn to gape.  "What?"
     Ranma grinned.  "You really think I'd hold something like that
against him?"
     "Actually, y--" said Ranko.  Ranma cut her off.
     "If he's what you want, I'll do my best to knock some sense
into his head.  I'll bet you two get married before me and Akane. 
Especially the way we fight."
     Ranko looked at him dubiously.  "Weren't you the one who kept
banging on the door saying you'd kill him for me?"
     Ranma blushed.  "Was that why you wouldn't let me in?"
     Ranko sighed.  "Well...yeah.  Partially.  And partially
because...it doesn't matter.  Let me go, Ranma.  Let me do this. 
For you..."
     Ranma sighed, too.  "Me?  Why would you kill yourself for me?"
     Ranko's eyes widened.  "Kill myself?"
     Ranma blinked.  "Er...isn't that what we're talking about?"
     Ranko's eyes widened even further.  "For you?  Why on Earth
would I do that?  You'd be crushed, and Ryoga would commit suicide,
and Pop would probably end up as an alchoholic...or worse, like
Happosai..."
     Ranma smiled.  "Gee...I'm sorry.  I'm glad you don't want to
kill yourself.  I guess I was sorta overreacting."
     Ranko nodded.  "Yeah, I GUESS," she said dryly.  Then a
mischevious smile lit her face up.  "I don't know *why* I'd want to
kill myself over YOU, anyway.  Without me, you'd be a pathetic
excuse for a martial artist."
     "Hey!" said Ranma, stung.  "I would not!"
     Ranko grinned further.  "Well, not the way I'm going to do it,
anyway," she corrected him.  She realized her mistake when Ranma
grabbed the lamp from her.  
     "The way you're going to do it?"  Ranma glared at her.  "And
just *what* were you going to wish for, Futago-CHAN?"
     Ranko swallowed audibly.  "I..."
     Ranma shook his head.  "The truth.  Please...you owe me that
much."
     Ranko looked down.  "That...that I had never been born,
Ranma."
     "WHAT?!?" Ranma shouted.  
     Ranko clamped a hand over his mouth.  "Quiet, baka!" she
hissed.  "Look, Ranma...if I do it that way, I never would have
done any of all that...you wouldn't have any problems...and you
wouldn't even remember me.  You see?  It's the perfect solution! 
No pain for anybody!"
     Ranma grabbed her hand and tore it away.  "Like Hell you
will," he said.  "There's no WAY I'm gonna let you wish for
something like that."
     Ranko smiled sadly.  "And that, brother dear, is why I have to
do it."
     Ranma tried to digest that.  He failed.  "Huh?" 
     "You see...I'm losing you," said Ranko, avoiding his eyes. 
"But you're trying to hold on, and it's hurting you."  Ranma's eyes
narrowed, and she hurried on.  "I'm losing you to Akane...or maybe
Ukyou.  Maybe both.  I'm losing you to Mom, even.  You'll hold her
against me..."
     "I will not!" said Ranma, indignant.  
     Ranko shook her head sadly.  "One day, you will.  Maybe not
tomorrow, or next week, or next month.  But someday.  And for the
rest of your life."  She sighed heavily.  "And I *am* losing you. 
I wish...I wish I wasn't."  A single tear slid down her cheek.  "I
wish we could always be together.  I wish..."
     Ranma glanced at the lamp uneasily.  "This thing isn't loaded,
is it?"  
     Ranko laughed, like silver peals of bells in the silence of
the house.  "No.  I have a bag of panties here, for it."
     Ranma looked befuddled.  "But you wear--"
     Ranko grinned.  "I stole Kasumi's.  If my wish works, there's
no need to buy replacements, now is there?"  
     Ranma sighed.  "Ranko...I don't know what to say.  I love you. 
You will always be in my heart.  You'll always come first with me."
     "I wish I could believe you, Ranma."
     Ranma looked pained.  "I'll do anything you ask of me.  Let me
prove myself to you!"
     Ranko stared him down.  "Let me go.  Give me the lamp.  Let me
sacrifice myself for you."
     Ranma sighed.  "Anything but that.  We could wish for us to be
happy, like Ucchan says."
     Ranko raised an eyebrow.  "'Ucchan'?"
     Ranma grinned half-heartedly.  "I have to start somewhere if
I'm gonna be friends with her."
     Ranko shook her head with a smile.  "You're full of surprises
tonight, Ranma-kun."
     Ranma sighed.  "I'll give up Akane.  I'll call off the
engagement."
     Ranko looked pained.  "You can't do that.  And even if you
could, it wouldn't help, it would just make things worse.  You'd be
bitter, and we wouldn't grow closer, only further apart.  I've lost
you, plain and simple.  Nothing either of us can do can change
that."
     Ranma looked pained.  "We--we could run off somewhere, just
the two of us, and say we were married--"
     Ranko looked horrified.  "Eew!" she exclaimed.  "What kind of
sick person do you think I AM?!?"
     Ranma looked relieved.  "Thank God," he said.  "For a second
there I thought you--I mean, well, after Akane said--"
     Ranko shook her head adamantly.  "Just drop it, Ranma!"  She
let out her breath angrily, then suddenly smiled sadly.  "It's not
that at all, baka.  Now I'm sure I've got to do this...if it's come
to this, we really have grown apart."
     Ranma fell to one knee in front of her.  "Give me a chance,
Ranko!  Just one chance...that's all I ask."
     Ranko looked down at him.  He was crying.  So was she.  She
sighed, and turned away.  "I...I wish I could believe you, Ranma." 
She sighed again.  "All right," she agreed at last.  "One chance. 
You deserve that much."
     Ranma nodded, though she could not see him.  "I'm ready," he
said.  
     Ranko nodded in turn.  She turned around to face him.  "Okay,
I tell you what.  If you can look me in the eyes and--OMIGOD! 
AKANE!!  WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU--YOU'RE BLEEDING!!"
     "WHAT?!?"  Ranma spun around behind him.  Even before he saw
the empty doorway, he knew it was too late, knew he had made a
mistake.  And then, he knew only darkness.

                           *    *    *

     Ranma woke up, his head still hurting.  "She sucker-punched
me," he groaned.  "I don't believe it.  My own sister..."  He
looked around, hoping she would still be there.  There was no trace
of her in the room--and the lamp was gone.  Ranma felt despair
crush him.  Then he realized something.
     "Wait...if I can still remember her, she can't have made her
wish," he said to himself with increasing enthusiasm.  "I still
have time!  If I can only figure out where she's gone."  He looked
at the clock.  It said the time was 2:55 am.  He still had time;
he'd only been unconscious for half an hour.  All he had to do was
figure out where she could go...where she could possibly go.  Where
*could* she have gone?  It wasn't like they had a home, or anyth--
     Ranma hit himself on the head.  They *did* have a home!  And
Ranko...he cursed himself for not seeing it earlier.  Genma had
only told the twins about their mother's death right after
Jhusenkyou, but he remembered something else from a long time ago. 
Five years ago, to be exact.  He sighed.  The last time they had
really been close.  They'd been lying on a hilltop, gazing at
clouds and guessing what they looked like.  She'd asked him if he
ever thought about their long-lost never-seen mother.  He'd said
yes, and so she'd asked him what he thought their mother was like. 
They'd imagined her for the whole afternoon, inventing the way she
looked, the way she spoke, the way she would sing to them...how
nice she was, and how pretty, and how good a cook...he smiled.  
     Then, the very next day, Ranko had said she wanted to be just
like their mother when she grew up.  Ranma had laughed in her face-
-the tomboy covered in dirt, bruised all over, who wanted to be
feminine and pretty and nice.  They had had a horrible argument
over it.  At the end of it, the twins had made up...but they had
never really been so close ever again.  It had turned out what he
she had meant was different from what he had heard, and what he had
meant was different from what she had heard.  They realized then
that they did have different opinions sometimes.  Although they
always agreed in public--even to their father, as it was important
to maintain a solid front to his escapades--they often disagreed in
private.  Over time, it had grown into a game.  But delve deeply
enough, and there was something solid behind it.
     Ranma *knew* she wanted to see their mother before she made
her wish.  He couldn't have said how, but he just *knew*.  Now,
where had Ryoga said it was?  Kyoto?  Ranma frowned.  He'd have to
take the train...and that meant money he didn't have.  He wondered
how long Ranko had planned this.  Then again, perhaps she was
hitchiking.  The idea sent shivers down his spine.  She could take
care of herself, and Japan was pretty safe, as places go...but a
young girl, all alone, at night...
     But Ranma remembered something.  Something he needed, first.

                           *    *    *

     The door to Akane's room burst open.  Akane sat up straight in
bed, chastened to find she had dozed off.  Ranma ran in.  
     "R-Ranma?" asked Akane, confused.  "What's the matter?"  
     "P-PANTIES!!" he shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders. 
Akane looked into his eyes.  They were wild, almost frenzied.  
     "W-what?" she stammered.
     Ranma let go of her and turned to her chest of drawers.  He
pulled open the first one, and, seeing only socks, threw it to the
side.  "PANTIES!!" he shouted again.  
     Akane blinked.  "Has Happosai gotten to you?" she asked,
concerned.  Then something hit her.  "Ranma!"  He pulled out the
second drawer.  Panties!  He emptied its contents into a sack. 
"Ranma!"  Akane grabbed him by the shoulder.  "What are you going
to wish for?"  
     Ranma ignored her and tried to leave.  She stood in his path. 
"What are you going to wish for, Ranma?"  
     Ranma looked into her eyes.  "Akane, I need some money. 
Um...I don't know if I can pay you back...ever, I mean...but I need
it."
     Akane looked at him, puzzled.  "Why?"
     Ranma tapped his foot impatiently.  "I need to catch the train
to Kyoto!  If I can take it, I'll get there before her!  Will you
help me or not?"
     Akane carefully counted out a sum of money.  "That should be
enough," she said.  "But, Ranma..."
     Ranma glared at her.  "Let me go, Akane!  Or I'll never
forgive you!!"
     Akane blinked, and her arms fell to her sides.  "I'm not
keeping you," she said, "but--but--RANMA!!"  He was out the door
and running. 
     "Oh, Ranma," she sighed.  Her fist clenched, and her knuckles
turned white.  "Kyoto, right?" she asked the empty room.  "Two can
play at that game.  Just you wait, Ranma."  She paused.  "Oh...I
guess I should borrow some of Kasumi's panties, too."

                           *    *    *

     Nabiki stealthily opened her door and stepped outside.  Not a
creature was stirring, not even a pet pig.  Perfect.  She tip-toed 
down the hallway, careful not to wake anybody, on her way 
downstairs to the lamp.
     Suddenly, Akane's door slammed open into her face and Nabiki
dropped like a fly, unnoticed by Akane as she stormed angrily down
the hall to Kasumi's room.  
     After three knocks, a sleepy-looking Kasumi opened the door. 
     "Oh, hello, Akane," she said.  "Did you have a nightmare?"
     "No time to talk, Kasumi," said Akane apologetically. 
"Listen, I need to borrow your panties--I hope you don't mind."
     "Oh, my," said Kasumi.  "I just did the washing--what happened
to all of yours?"
     "Ranma's got them," explained Akane impatiently.  "So I need
yours.  You know Nabiki would charge me about as much money as some
small African countries make in a year for hers."
     "Oh, my," said Kasumi.  "Well, if you say so.  Would you like
silk or cotton?"
     "Er, actually, I didn't make myself clear," said Akane.  "I
need *all* your panties."  
     Kasumi blinked in surprise.  "Oh, my," she said.  "Well, if
you need them, you need them, and there's no use crying over spilt
milk.  Hang on a second and I'll go get them."
     Kasumi walked over to her dresser and opened her lingerie
drawer.  She gasped in surprise and held a hand to her mouth. 
"They're gone!" she said.  
     "Damn!" said Akane.  "Ranko must have stolen them!"
     "Ranko?" asked Kasumi.  "But she's such a *sweet* girl! 
Besides, she doesn't wear panties, Akane."
     "Neither does Ranma," pointed out Akane.  "Look, thanks, but
I'm gonna have to go work out a deal with Nabiki."  She groaned. 
"Maybe if I'm lucky she'll forget about the lamp."  She shook her
head in disgust.  "Yeah, right.  As if!"  
     She quickly walked over to Nabiki's door and knocked on it. 
There was no answer, probably because its primary occupant was
still lying unconscious on the hall behind Akane.  Kasumi looked
over and saw the still form.  "Oh, my!" she said.  "Nabiki! 
Whatever happened to you?"
     Akane looked back.  "Hey, what's Nabiki doing on the floor?" 
Then she brightened.  "That means she won't mind if I borrow her
panties!  That's great!"  She opened the door and walked into
Nabiki's room.  
     A minute later, she ran out, a bag full of panties over her
shoulder.  "Thanks, Nabiki!" she said as she ran past.  "I promise
I'll return them when I can, and I left a deposit for you on your
desk!"
     Nabiki groaned again.  Kasumi tch'ed as she looked her over
critically.  "I think you should go to Dr. Tofu's if you have
fainting spells, Nabiki," she advised.  "But in the meantime, our
mother always used to say the best medicine was some good rest. 
Why don't we both get some sleep?"
     Nabiki just groaned in response.

                           *    *    *

     Akane began to have second thoughts about the whole thing
fifteen minutes later, as she leaned against a lamppost on the way
to the train station.  
     "I should have called up the train station and found out
whether they actually *have* any trains running at 4 am!  And I 
should have called for a taxi!"  Her stomach rumbled.  "And I should 
at least have packed a sandwich!  Baka, baka, baka!"
     "You can have mine," said a voice from behind her.
     Akane spun in place.  Ryoga sheepishly held out his backpack
to her.  "Ryoga!" she said, surprised.  "What are you doing here? 
Were you following me?"  Her eyes narrowed as she considered that
idea.
     "No, no!" he hastily said.  "Nothing like that at all!  I was
just looking for the bathroom!"
     "Sure, I believe that," said Akane in flat tones.  
     "Oh, good," said Ryoga in relief.  "Then can you tell me where
it is?"
     Akane glared at him.  "How stupid do you think I am, Ryoga? 
Listen, I don't have time for this.  I've got to go chase after
Ranma and maybe his psychotic sister, too, and they've already got
a lead of over half an hour.  So spit it out--what's your purpose
behind this?"
     "Well...you know..." said Ryoga, turning red.  "The thing you
do when you're in the bathroom...I mean...gah..."  He started
pushing his index fingers together.  "...Boy stuff...oh...*you*
know..."  Something clicked inside him.  "Wait.  What was that
about Ranko?"
     "She's gone!" said Akane.  "And Ranma, too!  He's going to
Kyoto and they've got the lamp and Ranma stole my panties without
even saying thank you and he wouldn't even tell me what he's going
to wish for and they're leaving me all behind."  She started
sobbing, now that it was all coming out.  "I don't know what to do
and nobody tells me anything and now I'm all alone and Ranma's
always liked her better than me..."  She started crying
wholeheartedly.  Ryoga looked around for something to sop her
tears, then finally gave up and put an arm around her tentatively. 
     "I'm sorry," he told her.  "But I'm here for you if you need
me.  And I've got a sandwich," he finished brightly.  
     Akane pushed him away.  "Oh, shut up.  How can I trust you
after what you did to Ranko?"
     Ryoga stiffened, hurt by her words.  He looked at her sadly
for a moment.  "Akane-san," he said at last, "I know you probably
won't believe me, but I never intended to hurt Ranko in any way. 
Look, I probably know less than anybody right now about what's
going on.  I don't understand anything of what you've said about
wishes and panties and Ranma and everything.  I didn't even know he
wore panties.  But I *do* know about travelling across Japan.  I've
got supplies and everything I need in my backpack.  I want to find
Ranko and help her.  Right now, you're my only hope to do that! 
Can we set aside our differences for the moment and work together? 
I promise you can yell at me all you want once we're moving.  What
do you say--truce?"
     Akane sniffed and wiped away a tear.  "I-I guess so."  She
sniffed again.  "But I tell you what--I'll skip the yelling if
you'll give me an explanation."  She stuck out a hand.  "Okay?"
     Ryoga smiled.  "Okay."  They shook hands.

                           *    *    *

     Genma sneaked downstairs.  "Heh," he said, stepping over a
tripwire.  "Child's play."  
     The other thirteen tripwires hidden by the first, obvious one,
sent a cage crashing down on top of him, splashed him with cold
water and set off five blaring alarms.
     "Whurf," he said.  He sighed and settled down.  After all,
someone had to come get him, didn't they?
     He was still asking himself that question three hours later
when Kasumi woke up.

                           *    *    *

     Ukyou woke up to the sound of cheery whistling.  She groaned
and put her head under the pillow.  When that failed to work, she
groaned and resigned herself to getting up.  "They oughta shoot
morning people," she grumbled.  Then she shot upright in bed.
     "Ohmigod!" she said.  "Today's the day we use the wish!  I 
slept in!"  She paused.  "Now, how could I have done that?  I set 
my alarm to..."  She glanced at the side of the futon only to find 
her alarm clock there, untouched.  "But.."  She had a flash of 
insight and checked it for batteries.  Gone.  "That little--"  She
ground her teeth futilely.  "Even so, how could I have slept in?  On
today of all days?"
     "Oh, don't worry about that," said Kasumi cheerfully. 
"They're going to handle that later."
     "Oh," said Ukyou, as a wave of relief swept her.  She was just
making mountains out of molehills.  "No problem.  So what's up?"
     Kasumi smiled at her.  "Breakfast will be ready in fifteen
minutes, so you should start getting up."
     Ukyou yawned hugely.  "House sure does sound quiet," she
commented.  "What time is it?"
     "Oh, that's because it's mostly empty," said Kasumi.  "You
see, Father overslept, Nabiki's sick, and would you believe it,
somehow Mr. Saotome managed to sleepwalk down to the living room
and got caught in Nabiki's trap!  Isn't that funny?"
     "Ha ha ha," said Ukyou flatly, a big sweat drop on her
forehead.  "It figures he'd try something."  She grabbed her blouse
and pulled it over her head.  "So who does that leave?" she asked.
     "Well," said Kasumi, "Mr. Saotome and Father were a bit
confusing, but I think they've decided to go out and celebrate
Ranma and Akane's elopement."
     "Elopement?!?" shrieked Ukyou.
     "Well, personally I think they're too young for that sort of
thing, but father seemed happy about it," said Kasumi blithely.  
     "Elopement?!?" Ukyou tried again.
     "Actually, it's odd, Ranma and Akane leaving at different
times to elope together..."
     Ukyou calmed herself down slightly.  "Different times?" she
asked.  "Oh, I get it, now...just one of Mr. Tendo's tricks, huh?"
     "...Not to mention taking the genie lamp with them," Kasumi
continued.  "But I suppose they have a good reason for it."
     "WHAT?!?" shrieked Ukyou.
     "And, of course, Happosai is still tied up in the basement. 
Oh, that reminds me, I have to feed him in an hour," said Kasumi
brightly.  
     Ukyou hurriedly stood up.  "But--but what about the
lamp?"
     Kasumi smiled at her.  "Oh, I guess they must have voted for
something after all."
     "Who's 'they'?" asked Ukyou, pulling on her pants.
     "Well," said Kasumi, "I really couldn't say.  But Ranma left
a note saying he and Ranko were gone, and Akane left shortly after,
and oh yes, Ryoga was gone when I checked in on him this morning."
     "What?" asked Ukyou, her head swimming.
     "So that just leaves you and me!" concluded Kasumi happily. 
"What would you like for lunch?"
     "Ohmigod!" said Ukyou.  "I'm such an idiot!  I've got to go
after them!  When did they leave?"
     "About four hours ago," responded Kasumi with a smile.
     "Four...hours...ago," repeated Ukyou, her jaw slackening.
     "So you see, there's nothing stopping the two of us from going
shopping!  You didn't forget, did you?"  Kasumi looked down at her
brightly.
     Ukyou sighed heavily.  "Well...it's not as if I was going to
get the wish anyway.  And Ranma will...probably be...happier
with...Akane."  She nearly spat to get the foul taste out of her
mouth.  "And even if I knew where they were going, they've got a
head start I can't match.  I might as well give up."  She sighed
again, then looked back up to Kasumi, who was still waiting
expectantly for an answer.  Ukyou blinked.  
     "Oh, heck," she said finally.  "Why not?"

                        End of Episode 20