Yuu Yuu Hakusho

Shadows and Lies

by Sionna Klassen and Kristin Huntsman

Chapter 5

Don't look, don't look, The shadow's free Whispering me away from you... You know that you will always sleep... --The Cure, "Burn"

Kuwabara heard something and quickly looked at Kurama. Kurama gave a low moan, twisting in his sleep. Kuwabara automatically reached out to shake him awake, but he stopped himself and pulled his hand back. He didn't know what to do. He opened the door and saw Yusuke passing through the hallway. He called softly, "Urameshi! Come quick!" Yusuke turned and hurried into the room. "What?" "It's Kurama," Kuwabara said, pointing. "Should we wake him up?" "I..." Yusuke seemed just as uncertain as Kuwabara. "Damn!" he cried. "If we wake him up, he might go crazy again - but if we don't..." Kuwabara looked back at Kurama. "He might anyway." Kurama whimpered and thrashed free of the blankets. Yusuke still hesitated, torn. Then Hiei appeared inside the room. He looked sharply at Kurama, then looked at Yusuke and Kuwabara, and realized that they weren't going to do anything. "Idiots!" he snarled, and started toward Kurama. He didn't get half a step. Kurama suddenly surged up from the floor, giving a bloodcurdling cry of rage. A flash of red and green whipped through the air from his hand, and Hiei dropped back abruptly, a long gash opening on his left arm. Hiei pressed his hand to the wound, hissing between his teeth. Blood trickled between his fingers. "Damn!" The whip came back at them. Yusuke dodged it, but Kuwabara wasn't fast enough. The whip tangled around him, and he lost his balance and fell over, crashing to the floor. Hiei drew his sword and slashed in a movement almost too fast to follow, and the whip went slack as he cut it near the base. Kurama

dropped it as Kuwabara started to free himself, and instead flung seeds at them. In midair they exploded into a tangled mess of vines, flinging themselves at Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara and winding around them in impossible knots. Yusuke fell flat on the floor, struggling desperately as the vines started to tighten, making it hard to breathe. His powers weren't any use here, it had to be Hiei or Kuwabara who got them out of this. He twisted, trying to look at the others. Kuwabara was still doubly tangled, because he hadn't even freed himself from the whip before being caught by the vines. Yusuke groaned and looked for Hiei instead. Hiei was lying on the floor, his eyes closed. He barely seemed to be moving. "Hiei--?!" Yusuke cried, and then caught sight of the vine wrapped around Hiei's throat, strangling him. Yusuke looked back at Kuwabara. "Kuwabara!" he yelled in desperation. "Use your Rei sword!" "How the hell do I do that with my arms stuck?!" Kuwabara demanded. "Figure something out!" Yusuke snapped, trying to break the vines by straining against them. It didn't work. There was a flash of light and a sizzling noise, and Kuwabara manifested his sword inside the vines, paper-thin against his body. Then he sliced outward, freeing himself. "Free Hiei first," Yusuke gasped, his ribs beginning to bend from the pressure of the vines. Kuwabara sliced downward and cut the vines from Hiei's body. Hiei propped himself up on his good arm, gasping for breath. As Kuwabara cut Yusuke free, Hiei cried hoarsely, "Look out!" Kurama flung blades of grass at them, a foot long and thin as stiletto blades. Hiei flickered out of sight, and Yusuke rolled to the side. Kuwabara tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor, causing the blades to miss him and stab into the wall. Hiei appeared briefly next to Kurama, and Kurama swung at him instantly, but was too slow to catch him. Yusuke took advantage of the distraction and ran at him, but Kurama still saw him coming and dodged effortlessly, at the same time flinging Yusuke into the wall. Yusuke dropped to the floor, rubbing his head. Vines adorned with huge, purple flowers curled down from Kurama's hands and eeled across the floor, reaching for Yusuke and for Kuwabara's and Hiei's feet. Yusuke leaped across the room, over the sea of vines. The flowers snapped their petals like hungry mouths. Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara pressed their backs against the wall as the vines lifted themselves off the floor and weaved in front of them, striking at them like snakes. Yusuke stared at Kurama, barely visible behind the curtain of thorns and purple flowers as big as Hiei's head. Kurama seemed to be smiling, although it was difficult to tell. The vines sliced Yusuke's cheek. To his left, Hiei looked vainly for somewhere to go, but he was cramped into a tiny space, and couldn't move. Another vine slashed across Hiei's chest, cutting through his cloak, his shirt, and his skin. Hiei flattened himself even more against the wall, raising his arms to try and protect himself. Yusuke had had enough. "Dammit!" he cried. He raised his hand and pointed his finger at Kurama. His finger started to glow and sparkle. "Urameshi - what are you doing?" Kuwabara asked, even though he already knew the answer. Yusuke fired his Rei gun. The bolt of blue-white energy burned through the vines instantly and slammed into Kurama, flinging him back against the wall. The vines dropped to the ground. The energy pinned Kurama to the wall like a butterfly in an insect collection, crackling around him in tiny lightning bolts. Hiei and Kuwabara both stared, seeing the shadow thing in Kurama's chest writhing under the onslaught of psychic power. Yusuke stared, horrified, as Kurama screamed in agony and writhed in the crackling field of energy. He hadn't even had his Rei gun on full power - he only wanted to stop him, not hurt him! The energy dissolved, and Kurama fell bonelessly to the floor, totally limp. Yusuke stood frozen. Kurama stirred and pushed himself up on his arms, trembling from the effort and breathing raggedly. He looked up at them. None of them said a word. They didn't have to. He knew what had happened. Kurama stared at them for what seemed like a long time, although it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. His eyes were filled with pain and despair. Tears trickled down his cheeks. "Kurama, I'm--" Yusuke started to apologize. Kurama collapsed back into a crumpled heap on the floor, his body completely still. <Oh God, I've killed him -> Yusuke ran forward, falling to his knees beside Kurama. Once he was closer, he could see Kurama breathing shallowly and he heaved a sigh of relief. Hiei and Kuwabara stepped closer, each seeing the shadow-thing, shrunken and weak. It throbbed erratically in time with Kurama's pulse. Beating with Kurama's heart, or _making_ it beat? Hiei wondered. He had a feeling that it was the latter...

Kuwabara dropped the last of the vines on top of the pile of plants that had been formed outside the house. Cleaning up the mess in the bedroom had taken an entire hour even with both he and Yusuke working, picking up all of the vines and pulling the grass blades out of the wall. Hiei had taken it upon himself to watch over Kurama. When Kuwabara went back into the bedroom to see if he'd missed anything, he noticed that Hiei had finished bandaging the wounds on his arm and chest. Yusuke was sitting next to Kurama, still angry at himself. Kuwabara wondered if Yusuke knew about the promise Kurama had made him make. He wondered too if Kurama had asked anyone else to kill him. There didn't seem to be anything else he could do, so he left, walking out into the meadow. He dropped down into the grass and stared at the forest, thinking about Kurama and that shadow thing inside him. He knew he wasn't imagining things now. Not if he'd seen it twice - and Hiei had seen it too. He knew that from the expression on Hiei's face when he looked at Kurama. Slowly his attention shifted to the forest. Something or someone was behind this, and it was in _there_. He decided that he was going to find out what it was. And if he did find the cause of all the trouble, he was going to do something about it. He stood up and walked into the forest.

Kurama turned over, realized he was still alive, and opened his eyes. Yusuke was sitting next to him, looking relieved that Kurama was awake. There was a bandage over the small cut on his cheek. Hiei sat crosslegged on the floor not two feet away, watching Kurama. Kurama's gaze flickered involuntarily over the bandages he wore on his arm, the dark purple bruise on his throat. He'd somehow either repaired his shirt or found a new one in the storage closet, but Kurama remembered seeing the blood from the slash across his chest. "Don't say anything," Yusuke told him before he could open his mouth. "It's not your fault." "I wish I could be sure of that," Kurama said. He tried to get up, but a sudden twist of pain in his chest made him gasp. Yusuke asked, worried, "Are you all right?" "I..." It hurt to breathe. Kurama closed his eyes, pressing his hand against his chest. When the pain faded, he opened his eyes again. "I'm all right." Hiei held out a rock. "Here," he said. "I found this by the stream where you fell in. Does it mean anything to you?" Kurama took it, staring at the spots of blood on the stone. He tried again to remember what had happened in the forest. He was running - a sudden noise, shock and pain - "A gunshot--" he started, but broke off. "What?" "I...don't know. I can't remember." Kurama rubbed absently at his chest, over his heart. Hiei's eyes narrowed as he looked at Kurama, making his own conclusions. But he didn't say anything. Kurama felt sleep threatening to sneak up on him again. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I just slept," he complained. "For about two hours," Yusuke retorted. "After staying awake for two _days_. Go back to sleep. I don't think you'll attack us again." Kurama thought, taking stock of his physical condition. He had to admit it was unlikely. Even if he did try and attack them again, he was so weak they could take him down easily. Surrendering to the inevitable, he curled up in the blankets and fell asleep instantly, reassured by Yusuke's and Hiei's presence.

"You didn't tell him," Yusuke said quietly when he was sure that Kurama was asleep. "I didn't know the whole story." Hiei looked at the rock. "I think I do, now." "What do you mean?" "That shadow thing couldn't possibly hold a gun." He remembered that Yusuke couldn't see it and elaborated, "It's a shapeless mass." "So? I still don't get it." "The shadow is a parasite. It needs to get into the body somehow. Somebody shot Kurama and then set the shadow on him." "But there wasn't any wound," Yusuke protested. "The parasite needs to keep its host body alive, doesn't it?" Hiei challenged. "It repaired the damage so that it could feed off of Kurama's life force later." "Damn." Yusuke looked at Kurama. "So there's probably more than one of these shadow things, isn't there?" "I know there are. They tried to sneak up on me earlier, when I was in the forest following Kurama's trail." "And somebody's controlling them." "Or working with them," Hiei said. "We still don't know how intelligent these things are." "So what do we do? We've got to tell him." "I will," Hiei said. "As soon as he wakes up." Yusuke looked around. "I wonder where Kuwabara went," he said. "I haven't seen him for a couple of hours." Hiei shrugged, unconcerned. "He'll be back in time for dinner," he said. "Speaking of which, isn't it time to start cooking?" Yusuke looked at his watch and shrugged. "I guess so. It's your turn." "Not a chance," Hiei said. "I'm no cook. You'd better cook dinner again. Besides, what you came up with was edible, unlike Kuwabara's attempt to make something vaguely resembling food." Yusuke seemed torn between amusement and annoyance. Finally amusement won out, and he shook his head and headed for the kitchen. Hiei sat perfectly still on the floor for a few minutes. Then, glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he reached forward and brushed an errant curl of Kurama's hair out of his eyes. Kurama sighed in his sleep, and Hiei smiled softly before quickly replacing his normal impassive expression.

"Hey, Kuwabara," Yusuke said as Kuwabara came into the kitchen. "Where've you been?" "I went into the forest to try and find out where the shadow things were coming from," Kuwabara said, then added sourly, "But I didn't find anything." "You _WHAT_?!" Yusuke yelled. "You _idiot_! What the hell did you think you were doing?! Do you want to get one of those things inside you, too?" "I didn't see you doing anything!" Kuwabara yelled back. "Are you just going to sit here in this house and let Kurama die? Are we just going to stay here the rest of our lives?" Hiei suddenly opened the door of the bedroom and yelled at both of them, "Shut up, you idiots! Kurama finally gets to sleep, and you two have to start arguing at the top of your lungs! I'd swear you two don't have half a brain between you!" Fuming, he slammed the door shut.

Kurama watched as Hiei sat back down on the floor, still angry although he was making an effort to smother it. Kurama still felt exhausted, completely drained. He tried to think of something to say that would improve his friend's mood, but his own depression was too intense to allow any humor. Especially when the evidence of what he'd done was right in front of his eyes. He turned his head away. "I almost killed you," he said, hating himself. "It wasn't you," Hiei said flatly. "That's easy for you to say!" Kurama returned, being uncharacteristically hostile toward Hiei. He realized that even as he finished speaking. "You don't wake up to find you've almost killed your best friends." He stopped himself just as he was about to add on, _And even if you did, would you care?_ He was shocked that he could even _think_ of saying that. <What's wrong with me?!> He buried his face in the blankets and shivered. <I'm going crazy!> "No, it's easy for me to say because I already know what's responsible," Hiei said. Kurama looked at him. "You do?" Hiei nodded. "I saw it with my Jagan. It looks like a...kind of a shadow thing. It's inside your body." Kurama stared at him, then looked reflexively down, touching his chest. The ice around his heart seemed to have receded...he felt warmer. It must have been Yusuke's Rei blast that did it. He looked back up at Hiei. "There's something you're not telling me," he challenged. Hiei looked uncomfortable. "I..." Kurama guessed it. The dreams - he'd known, on some subconscious level, what was going on. He just hadn't figured it out until now. "I'm dying. This thing is going to take control of my body for good." Hiei looked away. Kurama tried to push himself up, but he was so weak that he collapsed immediately. He cursed and tried again. This time he managed to sit up. Hiei looked at him. "Yusuke's Rei gun hurts the thing, obviously. But it's bonded to you. We can't kill it without killing you, too." Kurama looked at him steadily, and Hiei broke the eye contact first. "I won't do it, Kurama," he said. "I won't kill you." "You have to," Kurama said. "I can't." "Please!" Kurama cried. "I can't live like this! And if I'm going to die anyway - do it _now_, before I hurt any of you any more!" Hiei hesitated, but he was trapped by Kurama's desperate gaze. "Shit," he said finally, and reached for his sword. Then he started and let go of it as Yusuke's voice came from the other room. "Hey! Time for dinner!" Kurama looked at Hiei. Hiei hesitated, then looked away. "I'm sorry," he said, so quietly he could barely be heard. Then he stood up and quickly walked from the room. Kurama remained where he was for a long moment, slumped forward. Then he made himself get up and walk into the kitchen.

* * *

Yusuke muttered something nebulous, and turned over in his sleep. Kurama smiled gently, and idly wondered what he was dreaming of. He stretched from the position he had been sitting in since everyone else decided to get some sleep, and stood up. He left the room, quietly closing the door behind him, and walked down the hallway. The silver moonlight spilled in the windows, pooling around his feet as he walked on. He opened the door to the bathroom and turned the light on. Kurama shrugged his clothes off and stepped into the shower. He was surviving by concentrating on the moment, and right now his hair needed washing. He hesitated as he reached for the water dial. A warm shower would run the risk of making him sleepier, but he was so cold... He turned the shower onto hot. It was so warm, almost boiling. Kurama sighed in contentment as the heat started to leach through his skin, warming his cold body and chilled soul. He ducked his head under the nozzle, closing his eyes as the spray of water plastered his hair against his face. After a few minutes, he stood up and reached for the bottle of shampoo that had been conveniently found in the storage closet. He poured a little into his hand and sniffed it. It, like most things in this strange place, had no scent. He sighed and scrubbed it into his hair anyway. He wondered, briefly, while rinsing his hair before applying more shampoo, why the four of them were here. He didn't believe in random anomalies - someone had brought them here, and for a purpose. He didn't know who, though, and certainly not why. Working backwards - if it was to kill them, who? The enemies they'd made as a group were all dead. One of his old enemies, or one of Hiei's? Kurama didn't know how old Hiei was; he'd never asked. So it was possible that Hiei had as many old "friends" as he did. And if it was one of _his_ old enemies... Kurama had been out of the circulation of Makai gossip too long to know if any of them had enough power or favors owed to them to do this. But if they were here for _another_ purpose, then what was it? To destroy those shadows? Kurama shivered, suddenly cold inside again. He raised his left hand to his heart and closed his eyes, feeling the band of ice surrounding his heart suddenly, painfully, contract. <Get out of my body!> he thought furiously. But it didn't do any good - and he really hadn't expected it to. He sighed and lowered his hand. "And that still leaves the question of who brought us here," he said, setting down the soap he'd been using. He stepped forward, back underneath the hot water. His eyes closed again as it ran over him, washing his body clean with its warm, soothing touch. His body began to relax and loosen as his breathing deepened and slowed. He was tired, and it felt so good... it wouldn't hurt to rest for just a few minutes, would it? <Yes, it would,> he told himself. He opened his eyes and turned off the water. He began to grow cold again as he stepped out of the stall and tied a towel around his waist. He ignored it and started toweling his hair dry. After most of the dampness had been absorbed by the cloth, he started running a comb through his hair. Without conditioner, it had a nasty tendency to knot. But he _liked_ long hair. He felt comfortable with it, yet another carryover from his youko life to his human life. He smiled as he remembered his mother's reaction to his growing his hair out. But this was one thing he hadn't given in on, and she'd admitted, two years later, when it was at a semi-respectable length, that it actually looked good on him. Even if it added to his already somewhat feminine looks. <Mom...> he thought, <I wonder if I'll ever see you again, now?> Because if he was going to be perfectly honest with himself, the chances got less and less the longer they were here. And with this thing inside of him now, the odds were vanishingly small, even if the others got out of this alive, that he would survive it. He sat down and leaned back against the cool wall, thinking. <I'm not afraid of death,> he thought truthfully. <I was going to trade my life for Mom's, until Yusuke shared his life force with mine, so that neither of us would die. I owe Yusuke my life, even if he doesn't think of it like that. And I guess...he'll have to take it. Or Hiei will. Or Kuwabara...> Kurama closed his eyes as he thought how his death would affect them...his mother...his friends at school. He buried his head in his arms as he began to shake, crying. He wasn't afraid of death, but he didn't want to die, either. Hot tears dropped from his eyes, seeming to burn him where they landed. He hadn't known that there was that much warmth left in his body; it certainly didn't seem like it. And none of it was reaching him where he was coldest. Even during his soft sobs, he couldn't forget the ice surrounding his heart. It was poisoning him, mind and body, against his friends, against himself. And it would kill him, and probably them, before it was done. He couldn't let that happen; his life was inconsequential, but theirs were not. <I'll kill myself before I'll let that happen,> he thought. <And if I can't...if it won't let me...then they'll have to.> He wondered how long it had been since he'd last cried, really cried. He'd been tearless for so long. It seemed like centuries, and it probably was. <I don't want to die...> he thought. <I don't want to die!> Eventually, though, his tears stopped, and he stood up and got dressed, calm once again. The sun was beginning to light the meadow, he saw, as he opened the door of the house. An endless day stretched before him, filled with the shadows in his mind. A day to fight being tired, to fight to keep control of himself from the creature within him, to fight for his life and his friends'. He looked out at the forest, at the deep shadows lurking there, inviting him, threatening him. <I won't let you win,> he thought, turning and going back into the house. <You may get me, but you can't get all of us. You can't kill them. I won't let you.>