Yuu Yuu Hakusho

Shadows and Lies

by Sionna Klassen and Kristin Huntsman

Disclaimer: Do we really need to repeat ourselves again?

Chapter 4

It doesn't matter how you hide, We'll find you if we're wanting to So slide back down and close your eyes Sleep a while, you mustn't tire... --The Cure, "Burn"

The moon was still full, or nearly so. Kurama sat in the room he was sharing with Yusuke, listening to Yusuke breathe and matching the rhythm with his own. His thoughts ran around in circles, repeating the same loop of fear and despair. He kept thinking about the forest, how it called to him and made him want to run at the same time. He kept thinking about his nightmares, and how he'd attacked Yusuke because of a dream. He kept thinking about the ice that was slowly freezing the inside of his ribcage, and worrying about how long it would take before he succumbed to sleep and the thing, whatever it was, used him again. He kept thinking about the forest... Suddenly he clenched his hands into fists, pressing them against his

head. "Stop it!" he whispered harshly. He looked at Yusuke, still sleeping peacefully, and suddenly he couldn't bear to be inside the silent house. He stood up and left, the only sound marking his departure a tiny whisper of fabric.

Kurama wandered a few feet into the meadow, then stopped and stared at the trees. <I can't do it. I can't possibly stay awake for another night.> Kurama looked up at the stars, thinking of tiny ice crystals scattered across the black velvet curtain of the sky. Then he looked back at the trees, almost ready to walk into the forest and lose himself in it forever. He would not let _anything_ use him to hurt his friends, no matter what the cost to himself.

Hiei woke up at the quiet sound of Kurama opening the door and walking out of the house into the night. He sat up on the roof, watching Kurama, but he didn't jump down. Instead he considered, then pulled off his headband again. The Jagan opened and he focused on Kurama. He saw Kurama's aura of green light all around him, but something was wrong. It looked dull, and it was flickering erratically like a candle blowing in the wind. Hiei frowned and looked deeper, inside Kurama. Then he saw it. It looked like a blot of darkness. It was curled tightly around Kurama's heart, sucking greedily at the green life energy all around it. As he watched, the Jagan showed him with a flash of premonition the shadow spreading inside Kurama, draining his soul away until there was nothing left but an empty husk and the shadow-thing inhabiting it.

Kurama turned away from the forest. <No. I won't do it. That's the coward's way out.> He started walking back toward the house, but he stopped in his tracks as Hiei jumped off the roof and landed right in front of him. "Kurama...you were going to run away, weren't you?" Hiei asked, and it wasn't a question but a statement. "Yes. No. I don't know!" Kurama cried, frustrated and paralyzed by indecision. He stood rigidly, his hands clenched at his sides as he had when he first faced the forest. "I can't stay here, but I can't leave, either. I don't know what to do." "What are you more afraid of?" Hiei asked. "Your dreams, or of what you might do?" "What I might do," Kurama replied immediately. "Dreams I can deal with." "Then why don't you sleep during the day?" Hiei asked. "That way, the rest of us will be awake and better prepared to stop you." Kurama thought it over, but he still didn't like it. "Maybe," he said, promising nothing. Hiei looked at him impassively for a moment, then shrugged and flickered back up to the roof, settling down to go back to sleep. Kurama went back inside the house.

Late morning arrived, and Kurama was losing the fight. He'd already nearly dropped off to sleep several times, and only just awoke in time. He was sitting outside in the grass, hoping that the bright sunlight and the sensation of grass tickling his nose would keep him awake; but it hadn't been working very well. He jerked his head up as he nearly fell asleep again, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Hiei appeared next to him. Kurama had the feeling that Hiei had been watching him for some time, though of course he wouldn't say so. "Go to sleep, Kurama," Hiei ordered.

"I can't," Kurama protested, his voice almost slurred with fatigue. He tried to shake his head to clear it, but it didn't work. "It'll come back and control me again." Hiei frowned, then his expression inexplicably softened. "It doesn't matter if you sleep or not, Kurama. It'll get you anyway..." He seemed to hesitate slightly before he tacked on, "if you're this tired."

If there was some double meaning to his words, Kurama didn't catch it. He was too busy feeling surprise that Hiei was showing concern so openly. Hiei looked almost embarrassed to be caught caring, though, so he didn't mention it. He didn't say anything at all. Then Yusuke contributed to the conversation, causing Kurama to look quickly at him. He hadn't even noticed that Yusuke was there. Even as he berated himself for his lack of attention, Yusuke said, "You're no good to us when you're this tired. I just _walked_ up to you and you didn't even see me coming. Get some sleep." Kurama looked down at his feet, then sternly instructed his legs to move and got up. He walked slowly into the house, so tired that he could barely stay upright. He was vaguely aware that Yusuke and Hiei were following him, but he ignored them. He went into the bedroom and lay down in his pile of blankets, not bothering to close the door.

Yusuke turned just in time to see Hiei vanish out the front door. Quickly he told Kuwabara to watch over Kurama, then ran after Hiei. He chased Hiei all the way to the edge of the woods, where Hiei stopped. "What did you mean?" Yusuke asked him. Hiei knew what Yusuke was referring to. "In a few days, whether Kurama sleeps or not isn't going to matter," he said. "Because there won't be any Kurama left." "What are you talking about?" Yusuke demanded. Hiei looked at him soberly. "I used my Jagan last night, and I saw something inside Kurama's body. It's feeding on his life force. In a few days Kurama's soul will be gone completely, and the thing inside his body will be all that's left." Yusuke blinked and thought about it, trying to digest the information. Hiei didn't bother waiting. "Where was it exactly that Kurama went into the forest?" Yusuke looked hard at the boundary of trees. "There, I think," he said, pointing. Hiei started walking toward the trees. Yusuke asked him, "Why?" Hiei paused and looked back. "I'm going to follow his trail. Maybe I can piece together what happened, even if he can't." He started walking again. "Will you be all right?" Yusuke asked without thinking. Hiei said scornfully, "I've been doing this for longer than you can imagine. Don't worry about me." He vanished into the trees. Yusuke grumbled under his breath, then turned back toward the house.

Kurama looked up as he heard a footstep. He was on his hands and knees, trying to untangle the blankets. Kuwabara came into the room, seeming a bit surprised that Kurama was still awake. Kurama looked at him quizzically. "Kuwabara?" "Urameshi gave me first watch," Kuwabara said, jerking his thumb in the vague direction of outside. He sat down on the floor, his back against the wall. Kurama smiled. "I'm glad you've decided to keep an eye on me," he said, feeling genuinely relieved. Kuwabara scratched his head, frowning. "But what do we do if it just keeps getting worse?" Kurama glanced down, then met Kuwabara's eyes again. "If it does get worse...if you can't stop me...you kill me." "_What_?" Kuwabara demanded, his voice going up nearly an octave. "You're kidding, right?" Kurama stared right at him, hard. He tensed, gripping the blankets tightly. "No, I'm not. I won't let myself be used to hurt any of you. If I can't be stopped, kill me!" "I can't do that!" "Yes, you can! You have to. Promise me, Kuwabara. Promise me that you'll kill me before I can kill any of you." Kuwabara just stared at him. Kurama dropped his head. He was so tired...but he couldn't go to sleep. Not yet. "Please, Kuwabara. I can't tell you how important this is. It's much more important to me than life. I'm not asking you to do this unless you have to, but if it comes down to a choice between your life and mine - or Hiei's, or Yusuke's - then _kill me_. Because if I wake up and find that I've killed any of you, do you honestly think I'll let myself live? Don't let me get far enough that the rest of you will be dead by that point, too." He looked back up, and Kuwabara stared into his eyes. Whatever he saw there, it seemed to change his mind. "Okay..." he said, reluctantly. "But I won't do it unless I absolutely have to." Kurama relaxed. "Thank you," he said quietly. He gave up on untangling the blankets and curled up in them as they were. He closed his eyes. He was so tired, but the thought of the dreams - and what they might cause him to do - still scared him. And he knew, with deadly certainty, that whatever was causing this to happen to him would grab control of his body while he was asleep and unable to fight it. "Be ready." he said, then stopped trying to stay awake. He was so tired that he fell asleep almost instantly. He only had time for one last thought - <I wonder what I'll dream...?>

Kuwabara frowned as he watched Kurama sleeping. He couldn't believe he'd promised to kill one of his best friends. But he had to. He'd known that when he'd reached out and touched Kurama's mind with his own, and knew the raw pain Kurama felt at the thought of harming any of them. <Okay, so I had to promise...but that doesn't mean I'm going to be happy about it.> Then he got an idea. He'd looked inside Kurama's mind once already. What if he did it again, and could see what the problem was? If he found out why Kurama attacked them, maybe they could fix it, and then he wouldn't have to worry about ever keeping his promise. He almost felt cheerful at the thought. He leaned forward and stared at Kurama, hard, trying to see past the surface and deeper into Kurama's mind. It was harder than he'd thought it would be. He didn't even know what he was looking for. But he did start to see something; a kind of green glow around Kurama, like when Yusuke used his Rei powers and glowed with the bright blue-white light. Kurama's aura wasn't bright and strong like Yusuke's, though. It was dull and flickering. Kuwabara wondered if it was supposed to do that. Then he saw something else. It was dark, and hard to see, because it was buried in

Kurama's chest. He stared at it anyway, trying to see it better. It looked like a dark stain spreading through Kurama's body. No matter how he squinted, it

still looked like just a solid, black mass without any real form to it. He tapped his head. "What the hell is that supposed to be?" He let his eyes focus back on the bedroom. He tapped his head again. "Must be seeing things."

He watched Kurama breathing softly, and decided he must have been wrong. There couldn't possibly be a shadow thing inside Kurama.

Hiei was going at a slower pace than he usually would, because he was carefully following Kurama's tracks. Kurama had definitely been running from something, and from the tracks it looked as if he had been going all-out; something must have been chasing him. Hiei paused to examine some tracks more closely, and decided that Kurama had sped up there, fleeing through the undergrowth with no care for the trail he was leaving. Hiei followed the trail further, and came suddenly to the stream. There was a deep gouge in the mud of the bank on the other side. It looked as if Kurama had tried to leap the stream and hadn't quite made it. But why wouldn't he? The stream was narrow, and seemed ridiculously easy to cross. Hiei tested that by jumping across without any effort, then jumped back, frowning. Kurama wouldn't have had any difficulty. What had caused him to fall? Then he spotted something lying on the bank. It was a stone; like any other, but this one had spots of blood on it. Hiei knelt and picked it up, looking at the blood. Kurama hadn't hit his head. Hiei would have noticed that. That meant that something else had happened... Hiei decided to take the rock with him back to the house. He glanced around. He had an uncomfortable feeling that he was being watched. More than just watched - surrounded. Quickly he flashed back the way he had come, leaping into the nearest suitable tree and once again taking the high road back to the house to avoid getting lost. The shadows stirred and rustled in the bushes Hiei had left behind.

Kurama stood in a park. The sun was shining brightly, and he basked in the springlike warmth. Birds chirped in the trees and flew down from the branches to battle with each other over crumbs that the visitors to the park had left behind. Kurama was the only person there, but he knew that there had been other people mere moments ago. Kurama sighed, appreciating the beauty of the afternoon. This was one of those days that would make anyone feel happy to be alive. He looked up at the sky, at the few scattered clouds that drifted lazily southward. Then the sunlight took a different tint. Kurama looked down, at his shadow which seemed to be more sharply defined as the sunlight became harsher, flaring blue-white. Kurama shaded his eyes from the light, but he couldn't escape from the heat. The heat grew more intense, burning him. He tried to run, but there was nowhere to run to. The light was everywhere, searing him with white-hot pain. Kurama cried out and fell to his knees, trying to hide from the light, from the pain, but it was hopeless. When he thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, he crumpled to the burning pavement and felt sure that he was going to die. But instead, the light and the pain both faded away. Kurama looked up, and his dazzled eyes slowly adjusted to the sudden darkness. The sky was dark red, as if the sun was dying. Standing above him, against the bloody sky, was himself. Kurama gasped and stared. The other version of himself smiled at him, a smile that sent chills through him. The double was evil - Kurama knew that instantly. He got up slowly, still aching distantly from the onslaught of pain. The other Kurama smiled at him again. "Go away." Kurama tried to speak, but he found that no sound came out of his mouth. He touched his throat, surprised and dismayed. The evil Kurama chuckled coldly. Kurama tried to hit him, but his fist passed right through the double. Kurama stared in shock. <What the--?!> he tried to say, but he was incapable of making a sound. The double laughed at him. "Haven't you figured it out yet? I've won. You're dead." Kurama gasped and cried furiously, <What the hell are you?!> The double laughed again. "Oh, this is too good. You don't have a clue, do you?" He turned and glanced at something behind him, then grinned at Kurama. "Now be a good ghost and leave me alone. I've got things to do." He turned away, and Kurama passed right through him to see what he was looking at. <No, no...> He saw Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara walking toward him. Kurama twisted to look at his double, and saw a friendly smile on his face. <No!> He turned back toward his friends. <Stop! Don't come any closer!> They didn't hear him. Desperately, he tried to make them hear, but he was still silent. <Kuwabara! Yusuke! Hiei! STOP!> "Hey, Kurama," Yusuke said with a wave, looking right through Kurama at his evil double. Kurama ran forward and stopped right in front of Yusuke, arms spread. <Stay away from them!> he thought at his double, knowing that he would be heard. He heard a thought responding to his just before the double moved. <Oh, please.> Then he slashed forward with the Rose Whip. It went straight through Kurama and plunged into Yusuke's chest. Kurama felt the blow as if it pierced his own heart. He fell through the whip as Yusuke slowly crumpled to the ground, dying. Kuwabara and Hiei stared, stunned for a fatal instant. The whip came around again and sliced Kuwabara neatly in two. Kurama convulsed on the ground, feeling Kuwabara's death just like Yusuke's. He looked up in time to see Hiei move, blurring out of the way of the whip as it slashed through the air where he had been a moment before. Drops of blood flew from it and splattered through Kurama onto the pavement. Hiei appeared briefly against a tree trunk. Kurama knew he was planning to bounce off it and use his momentum to attack, but he never got the chance. Dozens of sharpened branches drove themselves from the tree trunk and impaled him. Kurama barely felt the pain. He stared at the ruined bodies of his friends, and the thing with his body laughing. <NO!> Kurama screamed.