Paradise Lost

by Sariel

IV. Nothing to Lose

‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

I saw oniisan dropped his weapon when it was too late for Hiei to stop.

I saw the expression in Hiei’s eyes as they widened in shock.

I saw the smile on oniisan/Kurama’s lips as he dashed towards the katana.

I turned my face away, knowing the inevitable would happen.

Then I heard bodies hitting the ground.

And Yuusuke letting out a breath of relief.

Mukuro was on the ground with my brother, who had his face down. She had pushed him out of the way before the katana tore him open at the heart.

Yuusuke and I ran to the three of them.

Hiei stood frozen like a statue, eyes widened to an almost unnatural degree, and the katana slipped out of his hand. The echoes of the metal rebounding off the stone floor drowned all other sounds.

Mukuro sat on the floor, and watched.

‘Kurama!’ Yuusuke was the one to break the silence. ‘What the…’

My brother was still down facing the floor, but sobs escaped from him, and nothing we said or did could get him to look at us again.

So this was it.

It would kill you either way, oniisan, right? If Hiei doesn’t love you. It’s just a matter of time.

Was it that hard for a youko to love?

I didn’t understand your true nature when I interfered with the delicate balance you were struggling to keep, between having Hiei as a friend, and loving him but not showing it. Had I been wrong to upset the balance? Was I pushing my own brother towards hopelessness, making him seek death from the one he loved?

No. I couldn’t have. You knew it, didn’t you, sooner or later you’re going to die of the heartache. I was just… shortening the time that would take.

And the suicide would continue, until the heart stops beating, stops aching.

What could I do?

‘Shuu-kun. You know something, don’t you.’ Yuusuke sat across from me, leaning forward to rest his arms on the thighs. ‘You’ve got to tell me. What’s wrong with Kurama?’

Wearily I shook my head. It was the only gesture I could make, feeling emotionally drained.

‘What does that mean?’

I stole a glance at him, and bowed my head again. I felt tired. ‘There’s nothing we can do.’

‘Can’t jump to conclusions until you tell me what happened.’

‘Just trust me. He’s my brother dammit. I’ll tell you everything I know if it helps. But believe me, it doesn’t. There’s nothing you and I can do.’

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hiei, who sat on the chair to my left, bit his lip. He did get the message. There was nothing Yuusuke or I could do. It all depended on him.

‘Hiei - ’ Yuusuke tried to ask the three-eyed youkai, but knew it was useless. ‘I’m going to check on him.’ He gave his arms a swing in frustration, then left without a sound.

Mukuro had fed my brother a purple drug that would put him to sleep. She gave me a questioning look before she poured it down my brother’s throat, and I had nodded. Oniisan had said before that this woman can be trusted, and she had just saved his life. So I trust her.

She made him sit up and held the glass in front of him, and he drank it without thinking, his eyes unfocused, staring into empty space. He wouldn’t have cared even if the drug would burn away his insides and kill him slowly and painfully.

The whole thing just reminded me of Kurama using his own blend of herbs to help me get to sleep when I was plagued by nightmares. It seemed to me that oniisan’s nightmare begins whenever he was awake.

The similarity of the two situations sickened me.

When I looked at Hiei again, I saw blood on his face. A blood tear trickled down his cheek and fell, crystallised into a dark red gem. It hit the ground, bounced, hit it again...

I was so entranced by this moment it took me a while to notice the change in Hiei, the black glow that came from him, visible only to my eyes.

Hiei’s soul lay bare to me.

The emptiness in his eyes, the helplessness he felt, the struggle in his heart - I saw all of it.

‘Hiei.’ Softly I called his name, scared that I would wake him too abruptly from his trance. ‘Kill Kurama.’

Hiei shuddered, and his head jerked up to look at me.

‘Kill him.’ I repeated, this time more forcefully. ‘Why give me that look? Isn’t this what you’re doing right now? Kurama’s dying, and he wants you to finish it for him. Don’t prolong his pain, please.’

‘You don’t know what you’re saying, ningen.’ Hiei meant to make himself sound aloof but his words came out like a plea, a prayer.

Sluggishly he bent to pick up the small round gem on the ground, took a look at it before summoning his ki. The gem turned into ashes in a small black flame.

The sight struck a bell in me. Yuusuke had told me the Koorimes create gems with their tears. That meant...

Hiei was a Fire demon; he’s Yukina’s twin brother.

‘Koorime is the Land of Ice.’ I looked at him straight into the eyes. ‘It’s mockery for you to use the power of fire, since you’re one of them. The Koorimes.’

‘How much did Kurama tell you?’ Something flashed in Hiei’s eyes. Fear.

‘I figured things out myself.’

‘Hn.’ Hiei held out his right arm, a small black flame burned on his palm. ‘The ability to use fire is the curse they gave me.’ His fingers closed into a tight fist, and the flame was gone. But it now seemed to burn in his eyes. ‘And I use this power of hatred to fight back, for all the injustice they had put me through.’

The light of his soul intensified that moment, making my eyes narrow. The depth of his soul amazed me. It was full of hatred, stained by blood of the countless creatures he had killed, torn by an unspeakable past... yet deep inside, it remained untouched, pure and innocent.

Hiei had put on his cold facade so that he could kill without remorse, to guard the last uncontaminated fragment of his heart.

‘The power of hatred. This was what you told me in the Makai Tournament.’ Mukuro’s voice rung in the room, I turned to see her standing right behind my chair, hands behind her back. I didn’t feel her coming in at all. ‘And I’ve told you already, you shouldn’t be born with this power. You shouldn’t be using it, because it’s harsh on a Koorime to play with fire.’

Hiei gritted his teeth. ‘ I don’t need you to remind me.’

Hiei hates being understood? Or was it -

‘"You got the Jagan implanted to help you find the lost tear gem. But it seems that now it had another task to do - to help you search for the freedom of heart, the paradise lost to you." You remember me saying that Hiei?’

Or was it he longed to be understood?

‘You’ve found it, why do you have to destroy it with your own hands?’ Mukuro walked round my chair and kneeled before Hiei as if talking to a child. She had a firm grip on Hiei’s wrist so that he couldn’t get away. ‘Why do you have to do this to yourself?’

Hiei’s lips moved a little but no sound came from him. He tried to move the wrist that was pinned to the arm of his chair, and frowned.

‘Actually, you didn’t find it. It found you.’ Mukuro released her grip and stood up, looking down at Hiei. ‘And it’s cowardice to run away from it.’

I only half understood what she said. It had something to do with Hiei’s past, which I had only a glimpse of just now, from his soul. But I knew enough to interpret what she said in the end.

‘Accept it or finish it, but don’t ignore it.’ I said, and Mukuro gave an approving nod. ‘It’s selfish if you do.’

‘Why can’t you stay out of my business?’ Hiei whispered, then he raised his voice and glared at me, his eyes bored into mine. ‘And why should anyone love me, or even want me at all! I don’t want his love! Just look at me!’ He stood abruptly and pointed at himself. ‘Hina fell in love in with a man and then I was born - and unwanted child that was better off dead! They call me the Forbidden Child, FORBIDDEN!’ Hiei spat out the word and swung his arms. ‘Don’t bother me anymore with this stupid love business! I don’t need it!’

For a moment the three of us stood like torn animals, waiting for each other’s next move. Then Mukuro rolled up her left sleeve and held out her wrist. Fingers of her right hand clasped around the wrist, which was a shade paler than the rest of her skin.

‘So what was it you told me when you took off my handcuff in the Makai Tournament? I tried so hard to get rid of it, because it represented my past, the beatings, the rape, the loss of freedom. But I had it on me for several hundred years because I couldn’t take it off.’ Her right hand let go, and she paused, looking down at her left hand, flexing the fingers.

‘But you broke it for me with your Black Dragon. And you told me we should forget the hatred, the anger, the past. We don’t need them anymore.’ She walked up to Hiei. ‘You said that to me, but why can’t you do it? Let it go, Hiei. It doesn’t matter anymore. All you’re doing is torturing yourself.’

Hiei just looked at her with perfect indifference. But I could see his soul displaying a completely different expression. Silently he was reflecting upon Mukuro’s words.

‘Forget about Kurama, but do it for yourself - ’

‘SOMEONE COM’MRE!!!’ Yuusuke’s shout interrupted Mukuro. ‘I CAN’T KEEP HIM DOWN!!!’

Kurama!

A heartbeat later we were in the room where oniisan and Yuusuke were. Oniisan had a thin long blade made of a waxy leaf in his hands, and he was trying to plunge it into his heart. Yuusuke had his hands on oniisan’s wrist, trying to take control of him.

It wasn’t hard for Mukuro to twist both of Kurama’s arms to his back and press him down onto the bed. ‘You stay put Kurama. If you want to die so badly Hiei’ll do it for you. Won’t you Hiei?’ My brother stopped struggling immediately and he looked at the Koorime with what seemed like a mixture of love and hate. Tears sparkled in those emerald eyes, then they closed, and my brother lay there, waiting.

Hiei shuddered at the words, unconsciously backing away until he walked into me.

‘Go ahead. You’re doing him a favor. What have you got to lose?’ I told Hiei.

I knew it hurt him as much as it hurt Kurama, otherwise why did he cry just now? He had denied his own emotions by burning the evidence, his tear gem. But this didn’t change anything. Kurama still loved him, and he would try to kill himself again and again until he succeeds. Maybe it was wrong to tell Hiei to put an end to it, but I didn’t care anymore. Right and wrong had nothing to do with this. They had to follow their hearts.

‘What the hell is going on guys? Are you going to let Kurama die?!?’ Yuusuke started forward and I caught his wrist, telling him not to interfere.

‘You know what is the best. Do it.’ Mukuro backed away from oniisan when Hiei finally moved towards the bed with shaky steps.

Oniisan’s eyes opened slowly, and a smile crept up his lips, a smile of love and contentment.

He sat up on the bed, took Hiei’s hands into his own, guiding the fingers to the katana strapped at Hiei’s waist, gripping the metal handle tightly. The katana slowly unsheathed, the sound of metal sliding against metal hurt my ears, making me wince. Light reflected off the cold blade onto Hiei’s face, and at that moment Hiei's soul mouthed a few words. He said them, again and again, to himself, until his body followed and he spoke the words out loud, but only in a whisper.

‘What have I got to lose?'

‘Nothing. Do it Hiei…’ Kurama lifted the katana, slightly amazed by its weight. ‘Gently into the heart… I won’t feel a thing.’

He said when Hiei refused to move his arms. ‘Do it for me… this is the only thing I’ve ever asked from you.’

His hand slid down and held the katana at the long blade, the sharp metal cutting open the skin and flesh, and his blood flowed along the metal, dripping at the tip onto the polished floor, creating a small blood pool at his feet.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip...

Oniisan pointed the weapon at his heart. Hiei still held the handle, and he stood like a lifeless doll, without a mind of his own, waiting for oniisan to position him.

‘Doumo arigatou gozaimasu.’ Shining tears rolled down oniisan’s cheeks and I felt my own tears rising, stinging my eyes. He gripped the katana harder, cutting his palms to the bones. ‘Ai shiteru Hiei. Always. Sayonara.’ His eyes closed and another fresh spill of tears poured. He pulled the katana closer…

Clink!

Clink!

clink clink clink clink……

A dark red gem of the colour of dried blood hit the floor, bounced, hit the floor, bounced again…

It was joined by the second one, the third one… until a handful of perfect round stones made their ways to the polished floor, announcing their presence by filling the room with echoes, tearing away everyone's attention, including my brother’s, from the blade which was millimeters before his flesh.

Hiei unwound Kurama's fingers on the katana and took the blade from him, dropped it to the floor, letting it hit the gems, and they rolled in all directions, spreading out like water ripples. One stopped at my feet, glowing as if it was alive. It was made with Hiei’s living blood.

I stared down at the stone. This was the proof that he did care. Would he collect all of them and destroy them like he did last time? Pretend that nothing in all Three Worlds can move him? Pretend nothing was wrong, just like the way oniisan and Father acted at home?

But the pain, the wound would still be there, no matter how hard one tried to deny it.

‘You’re making it so difficult for me Kurama.’ Hiei started to wipe away the blood tear tracks on his cheeks with his hand, and whispered. ‘So difficult.’

A blood-covered hand caught Hiei’s wrist, and Kurama pulled his face closer to Hiei’s. He closed his green eyes and his lips slowly kissed away the tear tracks… on the cheeks, the eyes, at the corner of the lips…

Hiei closed his eyes and silently allowed it. Would this be their farewell? He let Kurama do it because everything would soon come to an end?

When it was clean oniisan pulled away, and looked at Hiei’s face again as if to admire the work he had done. Then he suddenly shuddered, a hand went up to cover his mouth as his eyes widened in shock. Not a reaction came from the Koorime.

‘Go… gomenasai! I didn’t realize what I was doing…’ Ashamed, he bowed his head and looked at his feet. ‘Kurama no baka. Stupid youko instincts.’

He was like a child who had done something very wrong, sitting on the side of the bed, waiting for his punishment, his arms taut and hands on his knees, smearing the blood on the stark white trousers. Blood, flaming red as his hair, soaked into the fabric, spreading like the guilt he must be feeling.

Hiei just stood, his eyes still shut, ignoring oniisan's apologies. The look in Kurama's eyes told me he had gradually came to the realization that the Koorime had permitted the action.

‘I’d like to think you shed those tears for me.’ Oniisan glanced around the room, his head still low, and a mocking smile on his lips. He looked through the three of us standing near the door as if we didn’t exist. ‘But that’s fooling myself, and I’ve done enough of that since I became Minamino Shuuichi. Since I met you. It's time to wake up.

‘Every waking hour was a painful dream... wanting to tell ‘kaasan my true nature but fear rejection; bearing injuries I shouldn't get just to hold my family together; living and fighting without knowing why I’m doing it and who I'm doing it for...’ Those emerald eyes suddenly focused and he fixed them on the Koorime. ‘... and seeing you but unable to hold you...’ His voice cracked, and he gave the most bitter smile. ‘Maybe I should have stayed in my youko body and died with it.’

Hiei’s eyes fluttered open, his brows furrowed ever so slightly as if he was in pain. Blood tears filled those crimson eyes again. His lips parted, but formed no words.

‘Farewell, Hiei.’ Kurama suddenly said, and a long vine grew from the open wound in his left palm, its razor sharp tip positioned right above his heart. ‘Not being able to die by your sword will be my final regret.’ The vine grew longer and longer, inching towards the living organ, the aching heart.

Slowly, almost sluggishly, Hiei ducked to avoid the climbing plant, and wound his arms around Kurama, burying his face into the silky red locks.

The vine stopped growing before it pierced through Hiei’s back.

Kurama gaped in surprise.

Eternity seemed to have passed before Hiei finally spoke.

‘… I’ve never been good at expressing myself… I’ve never had to... never tried to…’ Hiei said with a shaky voice, his arms tightened around oniisan. ‘… I don’t know how to say it…’

‘Take your time…’ Oniisan finally woke from his trance, sensing the fear in Hiei. ‘I'll do anything to ease your fear... I’m yours…’ He lifted his arms to hug the scared Koorime, but hesitated. He bit his lip, the palms clutched into tight fists, squeezing blood from the healing wounds. Oniisan had decided against holding Hiei, and he had to use the pain to remind himself to resist the temptation. 'I'm yours, Hiei... forever.'

'... So am I, Kurama.' Hiei's voice was muffed by Kurama's hair, but still perfectly audible. 'I've got nothing to lose... except you. I don't want to lose you.'

V. The Perfect Picture

''Tousan, would you like more rice?' Oniisan picked up Father's bowl after he nodded, and went into the kitchen to refill it. I nudged him when he sat back down, and he grinned.

We watched Father finish his rice.

'What's so funny?' Father asked us when he noticed we were chuckling. 'Have I got rice on my face?'

'No, 'tousan, we just remembered something funny from the holiday.' Kurama was such a good liar!

Okaasan asked. 'You had a good time in Hokkaido?'

I had told my parents I was joining oniisan's trip to Hokkaido when I left for the Makai. They accepted it easily, but I still felt uncomfortable whenever the topic was brought up.

'We had a cool time.' I remembered the woman I met. 'Met interesting people.'

Mukuro...

[Flashback]

'Kid - ' she began as we stepped out of the clearing.

'Shuuichi.' I corrected her. I knew she is older - way older - than I was, but I still detested being called a kid. After all, I was almost 17.

Mukuro laughed, 'Shuuichi,' For once she used my name. 'Would you like to work for me?' This was the second time she asked me this question.

I didn't know why all the youkais are so afraid of her. She doesn't bite.

'I'll think about it.' I meant it.

'I'd really like you to come.' The look in her eyes told me not to doubt her sincerity.

We walked our way back to the tower and I watched her tell a youkai in uniform that he shall let me in whenever I want to come. The youkai took a look at me then went to spread the message.

Mukuro and I had gone for a walk just outside her palace because I said I wanted to see more of the Makai. I enjoyed her company even though we didn't talk much. Silence didn't feel awkward, and when we did talk it was about anything and everything.

'You're back!' Yuusuke said loudly when we met at the lift. 'I came back and nobody's 'round. Where did you two go?'

'For a walk.' I ignored the slightly surprised look on his face. 'Where were you?'

'Went back to ol' Raizen's territory to see how everything is.'

He slung his utility back over his shoulder and walked with us down the corridor. 'Nothing changed since a few years ago.'

'A few years for the Ningenkai is a long time. For the Makai it means nothing.' Mukuro said as we stopped in front of the 'living room' that we usually used. A youkai twice my height opened the door for us -

- Revealing a room where all kinds of flowers from both the Ningenkai and the Makai bloomed, filling the room with their gorgeous perfumes. Small plants and trees of all kind somehow grew from the carpet near the walls. One draped its leaves over Kurama, who was sitting on one of the sofas, reading.

'Just because you're in a good mood doesn't mean you can turn the place into a rainforest.' Mukuro smiled at my brother's creation.

'I'm more comfortable this way.' Kurama put down his book and his eyes gleamed as he smiled at all of us in his usual way.

'Complaints?' He joked.

'It's lovely.' The climbing plants drew away from the sofas when we sat down. 'Where's Hiei?'

'I don't know.' He shrugged and continued reading, his red hair draped to crown his face. I screwed up my eyes and saw the book he was reading was about Makai botany. 'Maybe out killing some unfortunate youkais somewhere.'

Things seemed to have gone back to normal after that fateful night. Kurama was back to his usual self, and Hiei did his duty when Mukuro gave any to him. He never seemed to be around. According to Yuusuke this was perfectly normal because Hiei never let anyone trace him. Maybe anyone except oniisan. Who knows.

'Mukuro,' He suddenly closed his book as if he remembered something. 'I'll be going back to the Ningenkai tomorrow.' He turned to look at me. 'Is that okay Shuu-kun?'

‘Hai, it's time.’ I must go back before I become too attached to this place. I had found out a lot more than I intended to; it was time to leave and see what I want to do with myself.

Yuusuke stretched and yawned. 'I’ve gotta go too, Keiko's gonna kill me if I stay any longer. But wha'bout Hiei?'

Oniisan opened his book again and said with his eyes fixed on the page. 'I'll ask him.'

'Oniisan,' We were walking back to the bedrooms Mukuro gave us and my brother stopped along the way to look at an oil painting that hung above a marble fireplace. 'What now?'

'What do you mean?' He asked, his eyes still on the oil painting that might have been from the Ningenkai over a century ago.

Wild horses galloping across a grassland. It reminded me of my brother’s youko name, Kurama, the Hidden Horse. Secretly I wondered if the name tells about the person. Horses, wild and carefree… Is that what is hidden underneath Minamino Shuuichi, the model student, the model son?

‘I don’t know... but I’m really confused.’

Kurama took his eyes off the painting and fixed them on me. The eyes of a wise youko with years of experience. ‘You mean what you should do in the future? I thought you have that decided already.’

I cocked my head one side. ‘Uh?’

‘You like the Makai, don’t you?’

‘Yes I do.’ I admitted. ‘But afterall, I’m human. I don’t belong here.’

We walked our way back to the bedroom. ‘It doesn’t matter where your body belongs. Your heart is here already. Always follow your heart, Shuu-kun, and you’ll live with no regrets.’ He picked up his hairbrush and started running it through his hair, which in my opinion never needed brushing because it never seemed to tangle. He can be a bit vain sometime, I thought with a grin.

I nodded and tried to digest the words. As easy as the logic seems, I knew how hard it is to follow them.

‘You get on quite well with Mukuro, don’t you?’ He suddenly asked.

‘What?’ I thudded down on the bed, tired from all the walking today. I really needed some fitness training! ‘What ‘bout Mukuro?’

Kurama winked at me. ‘Mukuro never treated anyone so well you know, especially you’re human – umph!’ A pillow hit his face before he could say more.

‘Kurama you shut up right now or I’ll – ’ I stopped. I’ll what? There was nothing I could do to stop an S class youko!

‘You’ll what?’ Oniisan laughed when I made a face at him. He picked up his stuff and went into the en suite shower.

Hiei walked into the room, without knocking, the moment oniisan came out hair wet, topless, showing off his torso, firm and white like chiseled marble. Basically, he looked goddamn sexy. Even I had to admit to that, being a boy myself.

I saw there was a horizontal scar, about two or three inches long, above his belly button. I never noticed it before.

Kurama rubbed his hair with a towel. ‘Oh hi…’ He obviously didn’t expect the fire demon to be here.

‘I need to talk to you.’ Hiei said unsteadily, putting his hands into pockets.

I got up to leave before oniisan asked me to. Then I remembered something, walked back to my bed, and took my blanket and pillow.

‘What’re you doing?’ Kurama asked me when I tried to reach the doorknob with my arms full.

With some difficulty, I finally managed to open the door. ‘I don’t think I can come back tonight anyway so I might as well go sleep in another room.’ I laughed and shut the door before the projectile of a flying pillow hit me.

‘Isn’t Hiei coming?’ Yuusuke slung his rucksack over his shoulder, ready to go.

‘Iie. I asked him last night.’ Oniisan hit me on the head when I chuckled at the mention of ‘last night’. ‘Little hentai!’

I knew Hiei was somewhere, watching us leave. He let us feel his ki as he followed.

The three of us were passing the last patrols when Mukuro called behind us.

‘I forgot something.’ She said and tossed Kurama a book. Then she left.

‘For me it’s just something that came from one of my colonies. I think it means a lot more to you.’ She said without turning back.

‘Thank you.’ Kurama whispered and ran his fingers over the cover of the book. It was the book Hiei had stole for him not long ago.

‘Thank you...’

I watched the small frame of the woman disappearing off the distance. She looked so fragile as if she could

be blown away by the slightest gust wind, yet she had such power, and such understanding.

Mukuro...

[End of flashback]

‘Good night, ‘tousan, ‘kaasan.’

‘Will it work?’ I pushed my brother into his room and shut the door behind us.

‘Don’t know. It should. We’ll soon find out.’

‘You sound like you don’t really care! You can’t just take bets you know.’

Sometimes I just don’t understand how Kurama can be so calm, so passive about it all. If the spell doesn’t work, then... I shook my head. I couldn’t think of any other way that can stop Father coming in at night without doing any damage to the family.

‘We followed the instructions and I mixed it into his rice. Shuu-kun, don’t worry about it.’ Kurama sat on the edge of his bed, smiling. This just wasn’t right. He was the one comforting me about something that should be his primary worry. I decided to let the matter drop and changed to a much more entertaining topic.

‘Will Hiei be visiting soon?’

‘I don’t know.’ Kurama shrugged as if he didn’t give a damn – which was totally untrue because not that long ago he almost killed himself for love. He saw my questioning look and explained. ‘I don’t want to push him too hard. You won’t understand how hard this is for him... I want him to take things at his own pace.’ He bit his lip slightly. ‘He knows this too. He’ll come when he’s ready.

‘I’ll wait. I’ve waited all those years, I’ll wait a little more.’

I sat cross-legged on his chair, elbows on the desk and chin in palms. ‘I didn’t mean to be nosy Kurama, but I almost lost my brother and wanna make sure you’re...’

I could have looked at his soul instead. It would give me a completely honest answer – not that I thought my brother wanted to hide anything from me, but maybe he wasn’t sure himself. But out of respect and trust, I didn’t think I need to use my power. I didn’t like using my power that much. It was like going through other people’s secrets, and most secrets are kept for reasons. I didn’t want to know more than I need to.

‘Hai, I know.’

‘And something else I wanna ask.’ I asked, pointing at him. ‘What’s that scar?’

He pulled up his T-shirt. ‘This?’ He pointed at that brown scar that was a bit longer than my index finger. ‘A long time ago Hiei stabbed me.’ He turned around, and there was an identical scar on his back, proving that his stomach had been pierced through by a sword.

‘NANI?!’

‘A long story. Enough of you asking me. My turn to ask you.’

He fixed his green eyes on me, his expression serious. ‘What’s your decision? I’m responsible for you and I need to know.’

The question rung in my head. I had been thinking about it for the past week. Wearily I shook my head, not wanting to think about it anymore. Decision-making had never been my strong point. It was like trying to buy two things I like when I can only afford one. It would have been better if I was left with no choice at all. I spoke before the internal debate could start again and give me another headache, the way it had done in the past few days.

‘I’ll wait… I’m sure the day will come when I need to reweigh my options. I don’t wanna close any doors now.’ The excuse sounded good enough – it might actually have an element of truth in it.

'Here Shuuichi!' Yuusuke waved at me from where the girls were laying down a blanket and setting out food for the picnic. I recognised the girl with long brown hair to be Yuusuke's girlfriend. The name was Keiko if I remembered correctly. Yukina was there, and looking at her I suddenly found she had a remarkable resemblance of her twin - the small build, the crimson eyes… Will she ever find out who her brother is? I shrugged. Kurama'd deal with that.

Kurama and Yukina together managed to persuade Hiei to get down from the tree Yuusuke had chosen for shading from the summer sun. Hiei sat between oniisan and his sister, and didn't move when oniisan inched closer to him.

The sun shone down brightly, licking my skin with its gentle heat. I looked heavenward and narrowed my eyes when the light stung them, making me see patches of red and green dancing in front of me.

'Okay, listen to this: how do you keep an idiot in suspense?' Yuusuke next to me asked.

Kuwabara scratched his head a bit. 'Dunno. How?'

'I'll tell you later.' Yuusuke giggled.

'No! Tell me now!'

'I said: I'll tell you later!' The rest of the group started to chuckle, which eventually turned into laugher when Kuwabara finally understood the joke after some good 2 minutes.

Giggling at the joke, I brought my eyes back down to the group again –

- And got hit right in the face by an egg sandwich.

'Who was that?!' I growled as I wiped the unidentifiable pulp off my face and my hair, which now had highlighted blonde streaks.

Yuusuke pointed at me, doubled over and bursted into uncontrollable laughter, almost choking on the food in his mouth.

Kuwabara snickered. 'Sorry there. I was meant to get Urameshi with that – '

Not waiting for him to finish, I grabbed the nearest bit of food - which happened to be oniisan's potato chips – got up, and smudged them into Kuwabara's face. Two seconds later Yuusuke was attacked by some flying lettuce. Ignoring Keiko's promise of a slow, painful death, a food fight began.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw oniisan leaning over to Hiei and whispered something into the Koorime's ear, looking at the direction of our food fight. Hiei turned to Kurama, who grinned at him. The corner of Hiei's lips turned upward by a microscopic degree and he said something. Kurama tipped his head forward and giggled, his silky red mane fell the crown his face.

Keiko had finally given up and got Yukina to go for a little walk with her. Gathering all the leftovers off the picnic I chased behind Yuusuke and Kuwabara, leading us further and further away from the half youko and the Koorime.

I think they would appreciate a little quiet time together.

I sincerely hope they would find what they've been searching for all their lives, the Lost Paradise.

~Owari~