Vision of Love - Part 3
By Gini
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Dying Love
For the love that has been
taken
For the rose that meant to be a token
I gave up my life's reality
Just to see your smile for eternity
Because I can't see myself
Living like a falling leaf
Feeling the dark night
Without your guidance light
To the love that has been frozen
To the tears that have been hiden
And to me, whose soul has been stolen
I let this rose of ours fall
Either to heaven or to hell
----Gini H.L Graciela----
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"Who do you think will win this third round?" Mukuro asked.
"Hard to say." Hiei said half-heartedly.
"Is it really hard to say, or is it because you don't want to tell me," she pressed.
Hiei gave her a glance but said nothing.
"You are worried." Hiei looked back at her again.
"I am not worried. Nobody has ever had to worry about him. It's usually the other way around."
Mukuro smiled. "It looks like your next match will be Kurama." She looked back to him. "That's why I said you are worried because you have to fight him."
"Hn."
"I can tell, you don't have to hide."
"Who's hiding what? I am not hiding anything."
Mukuro turned and looked at him with a smile.
"Too bad your eyes have already betrayed you."
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In the very beginning, this feeling was the source of murdering. He felt so trapped, but he had never liked to be trapped so much in his life. He couldn't stop stalking Kurama around. But he always had excuse when Kurama asked him about it.
"I was just on my way to see Yukina." Hiei said flatly. Kurama, who looked amused with laugh in his eyes, just offered him that smile. Because both of them knew that Yukina's place was on the opposite direction of Kurama's school.
That smile, seemed to mean that he knew everything and anything. Such intelligent and beautiful smile. Such resistible and charming smile that made his deep green mysterious eyes twinkling. It was his eyes and smile that made him fall again and again, into this forever deep dream.
Indeed, such perfect human being couldn't have survived in this world unless it was a dream world.
When he found out that himself had those stupid things called emotions, he wanted to kill that fox. It was like pain, but such sweet pain that he had never felt before. The yarning to see that fox's eyes twinkling when he smiled under the moonlight. The yarning to see his red silky hair fly by the gentle breeze under the sunshine. All those yarning was driving him insane. A couple of times he had the urge to go and kill that fox. It was he, after all, that made him feel this way.
For the first time in this life, he actually felt fear. Not the fear when ordinary humans face death, but the fear of losing.
Losing? Losing what? Kurama? Yes. Definitely him. He was so afraid. Their relationship was like a beautiful rose with a silk cloth covering it. The love was so obvious, and yet so unclear. So close to be seen, and yet so foggy couldn't be seen. Just like that, their relationship began to bloom away.
And.... and now it had wilted. The only thing he was left with was a broken heart, a silk cloth, and wilted rose petals.
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Sounds of footsteps.
Hiei spun around in alert. But it was only Yuusuke.
"Hn. It's you." He turned around and continue to sharpen his katana once more.
Yuusuke smiled.
"What? You expected someone else?"
"Hn. Can't you have better joke than that?"
Yuusuke shook his head, but settle himself down right across from Hiei.
"You ready?"
Hiei looked at him, puzzled.
"For the final tournament, I mean," Yuusuke explained.
Hiei looked down at his sword again.
"This sword is ready, which means I am ready," he said, still looking down. "Despite of how I feel, I have to be ready."
There was a silence.
"Hiei, you can still join us if you want. There's still time."
Hiei looked at him for a moment, then he looked away.
"Somebody has to fight for Makai. You and the others are strong enough to defend your world. You don't need me."
"It's not about needing, Hiei. It's about whose side you are on."
"I don't care. After today, who wins, who fights with me."
"This .... has nothing to do with Kurama, has it?"
"There is no relationship between personal emotions and business matters." Hiei said coldly.
"That's BS."
"Maybe." Hiei replied thoughtfully.
"A bird and a fish might fall in love, but where would they live?" Hiei mumbled.
"That's what Kurama said."
"I am not surprised."
"You ..." Yuusuke looked away. "Kurama was right."
"What?"
"He said that.. actually, you are very confused."
Hiei just gazed at him with blank expression.
Kurama ....
Did you really say that?
Of course you did.
Because you knew ..... the person who makes me feel confused ... is you.
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Kurama stood up, patted off the dusk that had polluted his white cloths. His lips curved into a victory smile. And pride.
"Kurama has won the third match! Who will fight with him in the fourth around? We will know by tomorrow!" The tournament judge said loudly.
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"K-Kurama ....," Hiei said between his moans.
"Hm?" Kurama didn't mind him, but continued on kissing him. From lips to ears. From ears to neck.
"What are you doing to me?" Hiei said between his breaths.
Kurama lifted up his head and looked at Hiei. He traced the brim of his chin gently with his index fingers, then traced down to his neck. He smiled because this face expression of Hiei could never be seen by any others so easily; this cute and innocent expression.
"I want to show you how much I love you."
Hiei swallowed. Every touch made his skin tingle with sensation.
Kurama bent down and kissed him softly at first, then hungrily.
Kurama sit up from his bed abruptly. That was a dream. He looked at outside of the window. The moon was shinning down through his window. He sighed.
Is this the right decision?
Kurama thought to himself. He could no longer distinguish what's right, what's wrong anymore. The ache from his heart had already conquered his consciousness.
Of course this is the right way, Kurama comforted himself.
He and Hiei have different goals, different place to stay in, different identities. If they stayed together, there would be no happiness.
He doesn't want to trap Hiei.
Lowering his head, Kurama sighed heavily.
To think that he used Ningenkai as an excuse, it was unforgivable.
Strange.
He used to be so confident in everything, but when it came to love with that fire youkai, he was being so skeptical.
Yes. This is definitely a good solution.
Kurama thought. But somehow it wasn't very convincing.
"I guess we will see tomorrow."
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"This is our last meeting. I just want to wish you guys good luck, no matter who wins or who loses in the end," Genkai said.
"Thank you," Yuusuke and Kuwabara both bowed slightly.
Across the room, two pairs of eyes were staring at each other. They were standing far from each other, but the eyes were gazing at each other non-stopingly.
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Cold wind blew. Dry dusts flew.
This is it. Hiei thought. This is the fourth round of the Final Tournament.
He and Kurama were standing about half mile away.
Kurama had his rose whip out.
Hiei took his katana in front of his face. Looking at Kurama with steady eyes, he unsheathed its cover slowly, letting the sun reflect its light on the metal. Then he threw the cover aside.
No friends. Only enemies. Hiei reminded himself silently.
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Hiei shifted his position uncomfortably. Why is that fox staring at him?
After the meeting, Kurama walked toward him.
They gazed at each other for a moment.
"Good luck." Kurama finally managed to say.
Hiei nodded and said coldly, "Same to you."
With that, he turned and intended to go, but right at that moment, Kurama grabbed his arm and pulled him back with such a force that he flew back and was face to face with Kurama.
That fox didn't even give him a warning, bent down and kissed him hard.
"Mmm ... s-stop!" But his voice was denied, and soon, he went limp in Kurama's arms.
After a while, Kurama let go of his lips and then hugged him tightly.
"Bye."
Hiei closed his eyes and embraced Kurama around the waist.
"Bye."
Such a simple word but held such heavy emotion.
Hiei felt his eyes moistened, but he stubbornly held back the tears. He left, without revealing any emotions. He touched his black cloak found it wet.
He spun around in surprise and looked for Kurama, but he was no longer there.
That was Kurama's tears.
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Cold wind blew. Dry dusts flew.
Finally, it's here. Kurama thought.
Today is the day that I have to kill the one I lo..... No. He corrected himself quickly. We are enemies now. He looked down at his rose whip.
Why does it have to be me? He thought as he looked up once again to meet those deadly red eyes.
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"Ha!" Hiei ran forward.
Kurama stretched out his rose whip for protection.
//"I love Hiei. Always have, and always will."// That night's memory.
//Liar.//
Hiei jumped up as the whip came from under.
//If you love me, then don't leave me.//
With a slice, the whip was cut in half.
//If you love me, come with me.//
Kurama took out a rose and transferred it into a sword.
//To Makai
We can be free as ever, together.//
Kurama launched it toward him.
CLINK! A huge sound came from the collusion of two metals. Two pair of eyes - one green, one red - burned into each other.
//"It's not about needing, Hiei. It's about whose side you are on?"//
//Hn. I am on either side. I am on death's side.//
"Yea!" They pushed off.
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Love is more than just 'to have'. It's about 'to give' and 'to share'.
I know now. That you are not for me to keep, though as much as I want to.
For this reason, I have to let you go
Because you - a fox - belong to a free world
Either Makai or Ningenkai
Yes. I understand that now.
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"Kurama and Hiei are matching evenly so far ...." The judge's voice hanging in the air.
"Just how long is this going to take? It's been half hour already." Keiko said.
"I don't know." Yuusuke looked at the two with worried expression.
"Strange ..... Hiei isn't playing straight. What's his hidden card?" Kuwabara mumbled.
"Look! Hiei is going to use his lethal weapon!" Botan suddenly said.
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I have never meant to hurt you.
Really.
But .....
This love is too bitter for me to contain.
I want to escape ... from this wound, from this world, and from you ... forever.
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Hiei paused to check the cut he just received from the fox.
He glanced at him and found there was a trace of regret in his deep green eyes.
This is it. This is the cue. The signal. To escape. For life.
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Don't worry.
It won't cost you anything.
It will only cost me .... my breath.
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Hiei's arm was smoking up fast. The ward was melting away.
[This is my final decision
Please forgive my heart
Because either way
There is no escape]
Kurama landed on the ground. He stared at the fire youkai.
What's he up to now?
[This is my final confession
Please forgive my heart
Because love too much
Is a form of torment's touch]
Suddenly, big flames surrounded the whole fighting stage. Everybody started to back away. The big black dragon came rushing out. It roared like thunder, flew around like lightening strike.
[Maybe
This is the only way to escape
For
This is the only solution for pretend]
[Maybe, just maybe
I don't have to explain
The vain, the eternal pain]
Hiei lifted up his head, letting his eyes looked right straight into Kurama's eyes.
Kurama panicked. What's this? The flame is not black or red. It's blue. What kind of strategy is this one?
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"I summon you, Black dragon. This is your last command. Burn this whole stage with maximum flame, and be gone and never come back!" Hiei shouted.
[This is my final manipulation
Please forgive me my love
Because it was me who has changed everything
In result of this inevitable ending]
He could see Kurama was surprised but afraid at the same time. He offered him one of his rare smile.
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A huge explosion.
Then ...... Everything was quiet. Unusually, unnaturally quiet.
With the support of his sword, Hiei knelt on the ground. Blood slowly trickled down from the corner of his mouth. He didn't mind at all. For once in his life he had chose the right choice. A choice that made the wrong right. A choice that unknotted both he and Kurama's relationship. A curve of smile rose from his lips. He didn't bother to open his eyes ... because ... he might not have the strength to leave what he had to leave behind.
The last thing he heard was his name.
"Hiei!"
And ....... He fell to the ground ........ and to the forever endless memory of darkness.
How he wished he could hear that voice calling his name just one more time - even if it was the last time.....
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Kurama ran, as fast as he could ever run, to Hiei's side.
"Hiei!" He lifted up his body and held it strongly in his arms.
The body twitched. The eyes opened slightly.
Those same red eyes, but now, without any fire.
"Why?" Kurama asked, his voice was trembling.
"It is a solution."
"What kind of fucking solution is this?"
Hiei coughed.
"Come on Hiei. Hang on. We will heal you."
"You know there is no way."
Sadness filled up Kurama's eyes.
"Sorry .... I thought .. I thought we still have time ... to argue .. to fight.. and then to get back again .... " Hiei chuckled bitterly, "but apparently, I was wrong. .... It was my fault because I can't take it anymore. I .... I know I am selfish."
Kurama just kept shaking his head. "No. We still have time Hiei. You will get better and then we will go to anywhere you want."
Hiei smiled. "Nice. I will remember this."
His face suddenly changed. He moaned as if his pain was unbearable.
Across from the sad scene, Yuusuke was holding Keiko who had her hands covering her mouth. It was as if she let go, she'd cry out loud. Tears welled up in Botan eyes; one blink and the tears fell. Yukina was shedding her tears silently. Kuwabara and Koenma were just watching.
"Hiei... please.. don't go."
But Hiei just looked at him with such mixed emotions in his eyes.....
//God. Don't. Please.//
"I love you, Kurama. ...... Always have,...... and always will."
//Don't. I beg you.//
With that, Hiei let out his last breath, and then slowly relaxed into Kurama's arms. His face looked more peaceful than ever.
Kurama just sit there with Hiei in his arms, stunned.
Heavy death silence surround him.
//No.//
//NO!//
"No. This can't be true." He murmured. Keiko turned her head and muffled her cry in Yuusuke's shoulder, who held her even tighter.
"Inari! You can't do this to me!!!!!!"
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Is this the end?
End of Part 3