Vision of Love - Part 1

By Gini

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"Seeking, I have been searching for the bright star.
I wish, it could lead me to the one I love.
Knowing, I am a fool to believe in this form of guidance.
No doubly, I am blinded by your presence."
- by Gini

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A huge explosion.

Then ...... Everything was quiet. Unusually, unnaturally quiet.

With the support of his sword, Hiei knelt on the ground. Blood slowly trickled down from the corner of his mouth. He didn't mind at all. For once in his life he had chose the right choice. A curve of smile rose from his lips. He didn't bother to open his eyes ... because ... he might not have the strength to leave what he had to leave behind.

The last thing he heard was his name.

"Hiei!"

And ....... He fell to the ground ........ and to the forever endless memory of darkness.

How he wished he could hear that voice calling his name just one more time - even if it was the last time.....

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"Hiei," Kurama said softly, "have you ever thought about why we fight?"

He put down the sword that he had been sharpening at. "Why ask?"

Kurama was silent for a moment. "Maybe I am tired of the blood sight."

Hiei gave a cold laugh. "Hn. You? A fox is tired of the blood sight?"

"................"

"It's too late ......... the Final Tournament......"

"Yeah. I know." Kurama replied. They both fell into silence again.

"Why did you have to go back to Ningenkai?" Mukuro asked curiously.

"None of your business."

"Of course it is! You are the head of my fighting tribe now. Your every intention and movement is a concern to me."

But Hiei said nothing.

He wasn't sure about it himself. He was in Makai, and the next minute he was in Ningenkai and going toward Kurama's house. Something had always tied him. Perhaps, the only connection between him and Ningenkai was him.

Kurama had welcomed him as before. But something felt different. Not Kurama's house. Not his smile. But the way he looked at him. He had caught a glimpse of sorrow in those big green cool eyes. Those eyes, seemed so quiet and peaceful now. They looked so different in the first round of the Final Tournament between the border of Makai and Ningenkai. They seemed..... colder?

"Why?" Kurama had asked him while he was doing his homework.

"Why what?" Lying comfortably on Kurama's bed, Hiei replied carelessly.

"Why did you agree to help Mukuro?"

"Because I want to."

"But for what? Just because you like killing so you have agreed to be the head of her killing tribe?"

Hiei thought about it before answering.

"I have my own reasons." He turned his head away, averting those deep green eyes which seemed to look through him.

Kurama walked toward the window and looked at the view.

"Is blood really so fascinating?" Kurama asked quietly.

"In a way, yes."

"You are lying."

"Then you don't understand me."

But they both knew. Kurama understood him ....... only too well.

What he didn't know was .... his another reason of killing ....was just so that he could forget about him, just for a short period.

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With a quick slash of his sword, the two youkai's heads fell off. Blood was everywhere in his sight, including his face. Wiping off the warm blood on his face, he suddenly had this urge of excitement. But the feeling didn't last.

He woke up with a startle. Sweats was forming on his forehead.

Strange, it wasn't a nightmare, but it scared him.

Of course he had thought about why he had to fight. Hell, that was all he could ever think about before Kurama came in to his life. He didn't tell him because .... he still couldn't quite grasp what was behind his motivation. Now he knew what it was that he had been trying to grab.

At first, he fought for survival. Then only fight, could he feel that he's alive. Then, it turned out to be that to live so he could fighting.*

That was all before Kurama appeared in his life. Everything had changed ever since then. He had never felt so helpless in his life, being trapped in this dream. He looked at Kurama's sleeping face. There was nothing he wanted more than just have that face for his entire life. He gently traced Kurama's face using his index finger. After the final tournament, they would go back to their own lives; Kurama would stay in Ningenkai, and he, Makai.

It didn't really bother him before, Kurama going back being a human. He didn't understand why it bothered him now.

Because things are different now.

Something had changed between them. He felt it. Though it was kind of late to notice it right now than should have been earlier. Kurama must have felt it too. What could it be?

When that idiot youkai called Kasuto sliced his long digger into Kurama's left chest, he felt as though his chest was being stabbed. He wanted to use his black dragon to kill that idiot right at the moment, right at that time, but Yuusuke stopped him. Obviously, his intention was so tense at that moment that he didn't realize that he was half way to Kurama's opponent.

"Don't," Yuusuke warned, "You will get hurt by the force." At that moment, he wanted to shout "what the fuck are you talking about? Kurama was about to get killed!" But he shut his mouth up before anything slipped out.

It was amazing that Kurama didn't faint right on the spot. He waited till that Kasuto was completed destroyed, then he turned and looked at him. Kurama walked toward him until he was within his reach, then he fell into unconsciousness.

"Thank you." A voice said from behind. Hiei turned his head from the window to the person on the bed.

"You awake?" Stupid question! Couldn't he think of something else to say?

"Yeah." Kurama answered with his smile.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" He asked softly, sitting next to him.

".......... it's okay."

" ...Hn... you are hiding."

"So are you."

Kurama's quick and straight reply made him jump a little.

He knew right then what he was talking about. He looked away. For a while, neither of them spoke. It was Kurama who broke the silence first.

"Is caring a sin?" Lowering his head, Kurama asked softly.

"..........."

"Well? Is it?"

"To me .... yes."

"Why do you keep committing this sin then?" Kurama asked quietly.

"I...." Hiei stopped. He knew what Kurama was implying at, but he didn't want to face it. "Aren't you doing the same thing?"

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End of Part 1

<To be Continued ...>