The apartment that Kurama and Hiei finally agreed upon was in a quiet, secluded section of the city, far from prying eyes and nosy mothers. It was simply furnished, as Kurama only had a part-time job and Hiei, of course, had no funds to speak of as it was really unnecessary in the Makai. However, they could live quite comfortably on Kurama's salary, and often took advantage of a home-cooked meal offered either by Yukina, Keiko, or Kurama's human mother, Shiori. As much as Hiei disliked living in the Ningenkai, he did like good food. Meals in the Makai were catch-as-catch-can so having someone else prepare a dinner was a luxury to the newly co-habitating couple. Kurama made sure the building was near a park as he loved to walk amongst the plants and flowers, his youko spirit ever present. The other neighbors marveled at his "way with the garden" that they all shared in the courtyard between apartments. The apartments were double units separated by a thick firewall that afforded safety and soundproofing, as Kurama and Hiei were now allowed to make as much "noise" as they wanted.
Kurama and Hiei had been lovers for quite some time and knew they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives even if they hadn't told the rest of the worlds or had any kind of formal ceremony. They were still trying to read each other's thoughts and feelings as most new couples do. They still hid their feelings towards each other when in public or when they were with their friends or Kurama's kaasan. Kurama was bad, however, when they would be sitting at a table at a restaurant or at a friend's home. He would play a shameless game of "footsy" with Hiei, or put his hand on Hiei's lap. Hiei would never let on what was happening. Well, at least you couldn't tell by his face. Kurama knew, though, as he would suddenly giggle and cover his mouth with his hand, the company he was with not quite understanding what was going on, not noticing Hiei perspiring or biting his lip. Yes, the lovebirds were enjoying themselves immensely when, rather unexpectedly, their relationship was put to a surprising test.
Hiei still kept many feelings to himself while Kurama was an open book. The redhead wore his heart on his sleeve. Kurama and Hiei enjoyed the times they were together in the Makai working as a fire demon and a youko and took pleasure in the "differences" that Kurama's fox form meant to their sexual relationship. Kurama often teased Hiei that he had two lovers, not just one. Hiei, of course still amazed that he had a lover at all, would simply respond with his patented "Hn." It was because the Koorime still kept a lot to himself that one day Kurama totally misunderstood the signals that the Koorime was giving.
Hiei had been summoned to appear before his master Mukuro in the Makai, the message being sent telepathically for only the fire demon to hear. Hiei hadn't had to appear before the "bionic bitch" for quite some time, hoping she had finally decided he wasn't the perfect heir after all, since he was in love with a human. But, before he had committed to Kurama, he had sworn on his life to serve her loyally, so he was compelled to make the trip. He was not a happy camper, though. He began to wander around the apartment grumbling to himself, and it seemed there was nothing Kurama could do to lift his spirits. Kurama hadn't a clue that he had been summoned. Hiei's shorter than usual temper, evidenced by the way he snipped at the slightest things and his annoyance with Kurama's human friends, confused the fox. He would go for hours without speaking to the kitsune. It was only in bed that Hiei relaxed enough to forget about the trip he dreaded making. A few days before his journey, however, he needed to clear his mind of all things human, and that meant Kurama.
Two nights before the trip, on a beautifully clear night, Kurama announced he was retiring early. He knew Hiei usually understood that signal meant it was time to join him on the futon. But tonight, Hiei remained on the balcony overlooking the garden of their second-floor bedroom. Kurama waited, rather impatiently, finally deciding to go fetch the little fire demon and carry him off to bed. Kurama stepped softly out onto the balcony and snuggled up behind Hiei, wrapping his arms around him. Hiei gave him no response. Kurama, somewhat startled by this total lack of reaction, knelt down in front of Hiei and looked into his ruby eyes.
"Is there something wrong, Hiei?" Kurama asked softly, as he studied his lover's face for some kind of clue as to his behavior.
"No, I'm fine," Hiei responded somewhat matter-of-factly. "I just have a lot on my mind. You go on to bed. I'm going to stay out here for a while longer," Hiei said as he looked out over the garden. *Well, at least Kurama could play in the garden while I'm away,* he thought to himself as he surveyed the lush vegetation that the talented youko had coaxed out of the earth. Kurama looked at Hiei as he rose, gently touched him on the shoulder and went on back into the bedroom and lay down on the futon, somewhat confused. They had made love every night they had been living together in the apartment. Maybe this was just a cooling off period. That's what it must be, Kurama thought to himself.
When Hiei finally came to bed, he kept himself over on the edge of the futon, as far away from Kurama as he could. When Kurama reached for him in the night, he pulled away, causing the human's sleepy eyes to open and stare at lover's back. It's just a cooling off period, he convinced himself, as he slowly fell asleep, realizing that they hadn't kissed each other all day.
The next day, Hiei seemed even more agitated. It seemed to Kurama that Hiei was making a small pile of his belongings in the corner of their bedroom. By that evening, when Hiei started to fold a spare pair of pants onto the pile, Kurama finally couldn't stand it anymore and confronted Hiei.
"Taking a trip?" Kurama asked, trying to hide his concern but having a bit of sarcasm in his voice. He sat down on the futon and watched his lover intently.
"I need to go to the Makai for a while. I don't know when I'll be back," Hiei replied, anxiously looking around the room for something.
"Doshite? Is there a case we need to take care of? I don't remember getting called," Kurama asked as he watched Hiei search under the pile and behind the door.
"Where the Hell's my backpack? I thought it was right here..." Hiei said, not looking at Kurama as he continued to search. "Shit. I know where it is," Hiei growled, smacking himself on the thigh. "I left it at Yukina's last week when we had dinner and we brought all those stupid Makai plants with us," he grumbled to himself. "Gods, I hate bein' careless! Especially since...shit!" Hiei grabbed his cloak and started for the door of the apartment.
"Why do you have to go alone to the Makai? I could come with you..." Kurama started to say as he rose from the futon, still confused by Hiei's behavior.
"No, you can't come with me," Hiei said abruptly. "I need to go alone. This doesn't concern you. I'm going over to my sister's for a minute to see if I can find my damn backpack. I just hope that jerk Kuwabara isn't home yet. I don't have time for this crap..." and then he was out the door leaving Kurama to shake his head and wonder.
After a few minutes, and with the apartment very dark and quiet, Kurama sat back down on the futon and worried. What the hell was going on? Had he done something to piss Hiei off that he had to run away to the Makai without him? Had he said something to make Hiei doubt his love for him? Had Hiei suddenly decided he had had enough? As these thoughts went through Kurama's troubled mind, he caught a glimpse of crumpled material from under the chair that was in the corner of the bedroom.
"There it is," Kurama said to himself as he got up and reached under the chair and pulled out Hiei's favorite backpack. "Maybe I can catch him before he gets to Yukina's and give it to him," Kurama said out loud as he got up and left the apartment and headed toward his sister-in-law's home.
Hiei could move so quickly the eye couldn't see it happen. He was at his sister's before Kurama had even gotten to the first intersection. Kurama in human form was much slower than his youko form, something Hiei liked to tease him about. "Just proof that things are better in the Makai," was Hiei's logic. As Kurama approached Yukina's house, he noticed the front door was open. He softly tiptoed up the steps and listened for any sounds. Hearing Hiei's and Yukina's voices, and not wanting to disturb them, Kurama quietly hung the backpack over the porch railing and was about to slip back home when curiosity got the better of him and he listened in on their conversation. Maybe Hiei would tell his sister something useful so Kurama could understand what was going on with the little youkai's mind. What he heard didn't help at all.
"Do you really have to go?" Yukina asked.
"I have no choice," Hiei replied. "If I stay here I'll die." Kurama's eyebrows rose. He leaned a little closer to the door in an effort to get a clearer sound.
"It does seem kind of harsh. How long will you be away?"
"Don't know. As long as I need to, I suppose."
"There's no way out of this?" Yukina asked sweetly. Kurama squinted in an effort of hear better.
"Nope. It's a damn lifetime commitment I've made and I can't get out of it. Gods, I wish I could." Kurama's eyes widened. "Sometimes I feel like I'm being suffocated. I hate this," Hiei told his sister. Kurama's chin dropped as he felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. He felt his heart suddenly beat faster and he put his hand to his chest, his breathing becoming difficult.
"I better go," Hiei said as he gave his sister a quick peck on the cheek. Kurama looked around desperately for a place to hide and then decided he would just run as fast as he could back to the apartment. He didn't remember even feeling the ground as he ran. What he didn't hear was Hiei ask Yukina to look in on Kurama from time to time while he was away, or Yukina telling her brother to wait a bit while she gathered up some homemade treats for his trip.
Kurama made it back to the apartment before Hiei arrived and tried very hard to calm himself down. But he couldn't think clearly. Had he really heard what he just heard? Was Hiei leaving him? What had he done to make life so unbearable that Hiei would die if he stayed? Kurama closed his eyes and waited for Hiei to return.
When Hiei returned home, he seemed a bit more relaxed. Yukina always had that affect on him. Kurama was on the balcony when Hiei walked in.
"You home, kitsune?" Hiei shouted as he looked around the apartment, then came out onto the balcony. His mood did seem a little better, which confused Kurama even more. Sure, you just made a decision to leave me, Kurama thought. "I found my sword on the front porch. Why I left it there I'll never know." As Hiei went back inside, Kurama shook his head. He seems so damn calm about this, Kurama thought. Gods, what's going on?
"Got any dinner planned?" Hiei asked as he started to put his things into a small sack that could be carried over the shoulder. Hiei headed for the kitchen as Kurama followed.
"Uhm, actually, no, I forgot," Kurama said as he cleared his throat, having a lot of difficulty looking directly at Hiei. "I could go get something if you want."
"Nah, that's okay," Hiei said as he leaned against the counter. "I'm just going to go to bed, then. I have to leave very early tomorrow," Hiei said so calmly that Kurama just stared at him in disbelief. Hiei walked into the bedroom and began to undress. Kurama followed him in and watched him get under the covers. Kurama, breathing very raggedly,, quietly undressed and slipped under the covers as well. One last chance, he thought to himself. As he reached to snuggle his lover, Hiei pulled away again. That was all Kurama could stand.
"Well, if you're gonna leave me, just leave! Don't wait for tomorrow!" Kurama shouted as tears flooded his eyes. "I can't take this torture anymore!" Kurama grabbed his robe off the end of the futon and ran out of the bedroom. Hiei sat up and looked around the room. He frowned and scratched his head. Something is really wrong here, he thought, and he got up and put on his trousers and went to find Kurama.
Kurama was sitting on the floor in a corner of the balcony with his knees pulled up under his chin. His face was buried in his hands as they rested on his knees and he was crying. Hiei sat down in front of him and frowned, trying to make out Kurama's form in the darkness. The moon was just coming around the balcony and would soon cast some light on the two lovers.
"Kurama, what's this about me leaving you?" Hiei asked, truly not knowing what was going on.
"Oh, like you don't know," Kurama choked as he roughly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
"I really don't know what you're talking about," Hiei said as he touched Kurama on the knee. Kurama immediately moved away from Hiei and wouldn't look at him. "I'm just leaving to go to the Makai, that's all. What's this all about?"
"Yeah, like you (sniff) didn't tell Yukina you'd (sniff) die if you stayed here with me..." Kurama said has he fought back more tears. He found himself taking in little sniffles of air that broke up his sentences.
"When I told Yukina...oh...is that how my backpack got on the front porch? Did you follow me to Yukina's?" Hiei asked the sniffling Kurama, who was not being very successful at not crying.
"I found your backpack under the chair (sniff) in our bedroom and I thought I could catch up to you, but I couldn't. But I'm glad I couldn't (sniff) 'cause I got to hear how you really feel about me." Kurama said as he felt his eyes begin to ache.
"What did you hear, kitsune?" Hiei asked, looking at Kurama who was now bathed in moonlight.
Kurama rolled his eyes. "Oh, c'mon, Hiei. Didn't you tell your sister that you'd die if you stayed here? And didn't you (sniff) tell her that you were being suffocated?" Kurama bit his lip to try and control his emotions. He continued softly "and didn't you tell her (sniff) that you hated our lifetime com (sniff) mitment and wished you could get out it?" Kurama finally looked at Hiei, his chin quivering, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"You were listening at the door..." Hiei said, leaning away from Kurama.
"Yeah, so what? Are you denying that you said those things to her?" Kurama asked, wiping his runny nose with the back of his hand.
Hiei slowly began to smile. "Baka."
"Nani?" Kurama said angrily.
"Baka. Kurama no baka," Hiei said again as he leaned back against the rail of the balcony and began to smirk.
"Why are you laughing at me?" Kurama whispered through his teeth while he continued to sniffle.
"Because you heard, kitsune, but you didn't listen." Kurama frowned and was about to speak when Hiei leaned back towards Kurama and put his face very close to his.
"I have to go to the Makai because Mukuro has summoned me. If I don't go, she has the right to kill me. It's part of the lifetime contract I signed when I agreed to be her heir," Hiei said, looking directly into Kurama's green eyes. "Don't you remember me telling you about her?"
"Yeah, but..." Kurama began.
"I told Yukina I hated going because I feel she suffocates me with training when I go. All we do is train, challenge, spar, and train some more. Gods, it's so-o-o boring and tiring."
"I...I know, but..." Kurama tried to get out.
"Kurama, what were you thinking?" Hiei asked, tilting his head in an effort to understand better.
"I...I thought you were leaving because you hated it here...with me." Kurama whispered, looking down at his hands. "When you wouldn't talk to me for the past few days, I (sniff) thought I must have done something, and then...when you wouldn't...(sniff)...make love to me, I thought..." Kurama bit his lip again.
"I can't spend a single ounce of energy before I see Mukuro," Hiei said, studying his partner's face. "If I do, she'll have the upper hand and I'll have to stay longer, and I hate training with her. I couldn't make love to you for a few days because of that. And believe me, you wear me out." After a pause, Hiei said very softly, "Kitsune, did you really think I was leaving you?" He leaned his head against Kurama's, his Jagan warm against his partner's forehead.
Kurama slowly nodded, feeling hot tears run down his cheeks again. Hiei put his hand under Kurama's chin and lifted it to look at his face. "Baka," Hiei said softly as he smiled and shook his head. Kurama felt himself crumble as he looked into Hiei's ruby eyes. He reached forward and hugged Hiei tightly around the neck and Hiei's hand came up and caressed Kurama's back. Kurama sobbed on Hiei's shoulder, letting all the stress he had been holding inside him release in another flood of tears.
"Ai shiteru," was all Kurama could manage in a choked whisper. How could he have doubted Hiei? How could he have so misunderstood his partner? He cried because he was ashamed of himself for feeling this way. Hiei held him close and gently him rocked back and forth.
After Kurama had calmed down, Hiei took him by the shoulders and looked at him at arm's length. "You know," Hiei began, "I always thought you'd get tired of me. I never once suspected that you would worry that I would ever leave you." Kurama wiped his face with his robe sleeve and sniffled again. He smiled back at Hiei.
"We really can't...(sniff)...you know..." Kurama said, holding onto Hiei's hands.
"Nope. Can't," Hiei replied, smirking again. "You know what? I think I'd better spend the night in the Makai before going to Mukuro's castle just to be on the safe side."
Hiei got up and went into their bedroom, followed closely by Kurama. Kurama watched as Hiei put the final few items into the backpack and began to put on his clothes for the journey. Kurama let out a soft moan of protest.
"Don't let that bitch beat you."
"I won't," Hiei said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, holstering his sword.
"I'll be waiting here for you."
"I know you will."
"I'll be waiting here...naked," Kurama said with a mischievous grin.
"Good," Hiei replied, stopping at the door. Kurama walked with his hands behind his back. If he hugged Hiei now he would never let him leave.
"And I'll be horny."
"You always are," Hiei chuckled, looking over his shoulder at Kurama. And then with a sudden displacement of air, he was gone.
Kurama chewed on his lip as he watched the dust settle about the room. He let himself sigh as he wandered back to the bedroom and sat back down on the futon. He chuckled at himself for being so stupid. He then removed his robe and slipped under the covers. Hiei would be back, Kurama knew that. And he let himself drift off to sleep.
The End
Copyright 1998 Julie Farel
Standard YYH disclaimer - I just borrow the boys now and then.