Under the Rose  

Fanfic by Sandy Youko    

Four
 

The few steps it took Kurama to reach the room were some of the most painful things he had ever done. Defeat oppressed his shoulders, and he felt too miserable when he realized all which was wrong in his attitude.

He had always lied to his mother about his true demonic self; furthermore, he had deceived her about his reikai Tantei occupation, his convenient absences from home, and also about Hiei, and his secret visits under her nose all the time.

It was all one could expect from a youko - treachery. However while in the Ningenkai he had always been proud of leaving his youko way of life behind.

Well, it seemed that Kurama had even deceived himself  in relation to this.

Everything had always been so perfect and now, from one moment to the other his whole life crumbled to ruins. He felt on a landslide, trying to hold to a bit of reason; just enough to keep his sanity, just enough to prevent such huge pain from suffocating him, and yet he couldn't...

He cared not about Hatanaka-san; Kurama's only concerns were about his mother, and whatever harsh words that man could have said to her.

He kept going down the stairway slowly, thoughtful, and he was quite aware of the warm presence of his dear demon lover right behind him. Hiei showed himself  watchful, with a severe, resolute gleam in his intense red eyes.

The redhead stood right in the middle of  the room. His eyes were downcast, and he kept his hands nervously clenched against his thighs. His red hair fell around his face, not letting much of his pale, hurt expression show. He fidgeted, uncomfortable on realizing such hard eyes were on him. He twisted his fingers against his trousers' fabric, pulling and turning, almost tearing the cloth. His knees trembled slightly, and his lips quivered. And even though Kurama's mind was very alert, the actual problem was to find the right words to say...

He knew before hand no explanation would prove  to be acceptable in the slightest. Nothing could justify his bringing Hiei in, nothing could make his stepfather forgive and accept his weird sexual preferences. Moreover, nothing could remove the extreme shame Shiori must be going through because of him and his lies before her husband.

His mother was facing vexation and reproach from her new husband because of his careless ways...

Damn! Damned Youko sexual appetite! If he had only been less eager and checked the door...

His voice was loud and clear, but too sorrowful.

"Kaasan. Hatanaka-san. I am very sorry for the shame I brought to your house. I beg your forgiveness for my dishonourable act."

He bowed then, first before Hatanaka, and then he turned slightly to the left, to bow his repentance before his own mother.
 
He shut his eyes, anticipating the enraged reply, and his whole body was shaken by the violence of the words Hatanaka-san spat right on his face.

"You are a liar and a deceiver! You fooled us all the time! You are a dissolute! Only a dirty pederast like you could bring his lover to copulate right under his family's roof, with no respect for anyone!"

Kurama would try to say something if he could. But his throat was dry and tight and it was difficult even to breathe. His face burned with shame, his chest closed tight around his heart, painfully fixed like a dented trap.

"Hatanaka-san, I..."

But the man didn't allow Kurama to say anything. He just continued with his forceful, angry speech.

"You fooled us all with your kindness and your gentle manners, but not anymore! Sodomite! Pretending to be an honourable son all the time, and disgracing our honor behind our backs! You are not part of this family anymore!"

The redhead held his breath in to be able to control his incoming urge to cry. He held tighter to himself; his fingers clung in a grip so tight that made his whole wrists tremble. His chin quivered convulsively, and it was difficult to control his lips to say anything.

He barely had the energy to bow and say it again, in a faint, desolate murmur:

"I beg your mercy, Hatanaka-san..."

Kurama sensed a slow, but vigorous movement on his side. A strong and energetic presence which warmed him with his support. A soft touch rested on his arm for no longer than seconds, but it was done with all love and tenderness. It was Hiei, caressing his arm very discreetly, with a quick stroke, just to assure him he was still there, by his side.

The company of his lover was so comforting that  Kurama almost smiled, as if Hiei's gesture had been able to cure his sorrow a little bit. The youkai stood proudly next to Kurama, keeping his hands stuck in his pockets now. Hiei's expression was stern and inscrutable, while his red eyes were harmfully laid upon the fox's mother and stepfather; Hiei watched their every move, very carefully.

"You must leave immediately, Minamino! You brought shame to us and you disgraced your father's name with such a scandalous act!"

Kurama acquiesced; it was what he'd expect... But then he heard his mother's voice, kind and yet insistent.

"Hatanaka, please, don't be so hard! He's my only son!"

The wrath changed focus. The man eyed Shiori intensely, and for a split second Kurama imagined he was going to hit her.

"Yes! He's your son! It's your fault! You've been mild and careless of his attitudes! He's like that because you didn't know how to bring him up! It's your fault, and you have to stand back and let me deal with it before he can be a bad influence on my son Shuuichi!"

Shiori stepped back, frightened with the angry accusations. She just turned her eyes to the floor, totally pliant to her husband.

It was Kurama, or better, Shuuichi, who dared to make a move against Hatanaka. His green eyes twinkled with a sudden, lively  indignation. His nervousness was gone for a moment when he dared to defend Shiori.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Kurama shouted out, standing between Hatanaka and his mother.

"Shut up, you pervert!"

"Leave Kaasan alone you..."

"Hold your Tongue!"

"She didn't..."

Kurama saw the gesture and felt the air dislocation, but nothing happened.

Hiei had been too fast. All the time the small youkai had been closely observant to what was going on between them, his red-eyes alert, and his ears attentive to the quick succession of harsh words.

He was the one to interfere, as he sensed the man's intention.

The youkai moved fast as lighting, standing in the way between Kurama and that detestable Ningen, just in time to block the attack which would have slapped Kurama right in the face, crossing his arm on the way, fending off the Ningen's blow.

"Don't you dare touch him!"

Hiei's voice sounded loud and enraged. His tone of voice was enough to halt Hatanaka's attempts, and silence him. The youkai stayed there, before Kurama, defending him, showing his fangs and incisive clenched fists, blocking any further attack to his lover. His whole small body was tense, and his voice enraged, hoarse, as he breathed deeply, on the verge of attacking Hatanaka for such abuse. His eyes glinted like red flames, and Kurama had to hold him by his sleeve to prevent him from getting on his stepfather.

For a moment Kurama imagined Hiei would unsheathe his katana and attack his stepfather. He could easily perceive Hiei's you-ki starting to rise.

"Hiei, it's all right now." It was just what he needed to say. He touched Hiei's shoulder, and it was enough for the youkai to give way to the redhead to face his stepfather once more.

"Degenerates! I want you out of this house! Now!" Hatanaka ordered in between grinding teeth. He eyed Hiei angrily, but resigned not to face his fury, forced into retreat by the youkai's decisive interference

Kurama didn't look at him, but he gazed painfully at his mother, awaiting for her reaction. Deep in his soul he hoped she could stand on his side, forgive him, and support him... How could they live separated?

"Kaasan..." He murmured, as a faint hope touched his heart, making his lips plead with her for mercy.

He walked closer to her, and Hiei followed him, his red eyes watching Hatanaka's every move.  Kurama stood right before Shiori,  but he didn't embrace her. They looked eye to eye for a short moment, because Shiori soon turned her eyes away.

"Will you forgive me, Kaasan?"

"You better do what your stepfather tells you, son. You must leave our house."
 
Tears blurred Kurama's eyes immediately as he heard that. The pain grew and started to come all over him, tightening his throat with a suffocating grip. His hands trembled more, his legs almost failed him; he needed to support himself on Hiei's shoulder. With downcast eyes he held onto his youkai, and his fingers closed tighter around the muscled curve of his shoulder.

It seemed he wanted to express with that despaired grip on Hiei's shoulder what his dry lips could not make out into words - All I need is you, take me from here, I can't stand it, take me away from all this pain, guide me out of  here as fast as you can  because my heart aches, my soul bleeds and  I'm dying inside - Kurama gave it all out, in silence, just with his a touch of hand.

The youkai's eyes tried to meet his lover's, but Kurama concealed his face behind his cascading hair. He deviated his eyes, avoiding anyone's stare, even Hiei's.

The youkai slowly brought Kurama with him, towards the door. Kurama's sorrow was so deep, so intense, he didn't mind to resist Hiei's gentle pull in the slightest. It was the pain... The pain in Kurama's Ningen heart was too much; it seemed to be driving him out of his mind. Hiei knew that the best he could offer his foxy-lover was to be drag him away from that lair of  damned  Ningen as quick as he could.

"Yes, Kaasan... I'm leaving..." Kurama murmured in a somber mood, with a voice so feeble and acquiescent that only Hiei who was next to him could notice his words.

"I can't oppose to my husband Shuuichi. I would like you to stay, but..." And she left the sentence hanging, suspended on her lips and her hurt eyes, like a death sentence upon Kurama.

Shiori came closer to her son, and the redhead realized she wanted to embrace him, sooth him, but yet she remained steps away from his reach.

"You betrayed our confidence. " She continued then, with a very low voice, as if trying to prevent Hatanaka from listening. She faced her son directly, although with undisguised docility. "I know how much you and Hiei love each other, but you shouldn't bring him in this way, without our knowledge. It's very offensive... It's not what a noble, polite, honorouble son like you should do."

"Out! And don't you and your lay ever come back!" Hatanaka shouted out for one last time, before giving his back ostentatiously to them and leaving the room.

It was Shiori who stood by the door, opening it to the dark street outside.

Hiei watched the woman coldly. And his hand was still on Kurama's arm, guiding him, offering the soothing of his silent, but firm presence.

Kurama seemed lost, hesitant, as if he had not yet grasped all that was happening to him and to his family. He walked towards the door because Hiei pushed him on very gently, looking forward for them to be outside that suffocating residence.

Kurama hesitated, trying to avoid that last moment, the decisive step outside.

It was Shiori who stood by the open door, her eyes avoiding Kurama's pleading ones. The green eyes were onto the Ningen woman, full of repentance and expectation, hopeful she could offer him a comforting word, and absolution...

Till the last instant, Kurama wished his mother just to say one very short, simple word...

If she could just say - Stay... Stay with us...

And then add - I forgive you...

Kurama slipped into his shoes left on the doorstep, and yet for another instant, he faced Shiori. His eyes were wet with tears, and despite the sorrow, he gazed at her sweetly, with all his love.

He sensed Hiei's presence by him. The youkai was there, quiet, strong, offering him all the support, like a anchor keeping him yet into sanity.

It was his fault. He had to blame his own proud assumption nothing could ever go wrong. This, added to the extreme lust which could not allow him to hold his own hungry youko instincts back.

Part of his life had just crumbled to dust, and it was no one else's fault but his.

He turned his back to his home, facing the dark street, very aware of the comforting touch of Hiei's warm hand on his arm; at least he was not alone...

Then he heard her voice:

"Shuuichi..."

Shiori's voice was sweet and calm as it ever was, and Kurama almost let a smile curve his pale lips. His mother's voice fell on him like a slight hope touching her hurt heart, like a soothing caress.

He didn't want to leave her, he didn't want to leave the family he had always cared so much for... 

"Yes, Kaasan..." He murmured, confidently.

She merely reached a coat left by the hanger on the wall next to the door, taking  it and offering it to his son.

"It's too cold in the street. Come tomorrow after Hatanaka's gone to work. I'll help you pack up your things then."

Kurama's chest was seized by a long, intense pain. It seemed his heart was mortally wounded; just like that same pain, the blow which had trespassed his chest when the Spiritual Hunter tried to kill him. The suffering pierced his flesh deep like a weapon.

It hurt... It hurt too much...
 

 To Be Continued....

Characters are property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Fuji TV, Shueisha, Jump Comics, and Studio Pierrot. The events portrayed are not necessarily present in the original series Yu Yu Hakusho