by Lorelei
Kurama was calling me. I could feel him, tugging at my heart. A red ribbon that connected us stretched tautly; just like in those stories he reads to me. I do not resist.
I found him at the arbor, our place, our clearing, my home. But then again, where Kurama was, so is my hearth. Just like the books. I smiled, the exercise new and strange to me, a smile with no bitterness. He would have been very surprised, had he seen it.
I hid nearby, watching him lying on the blankets; surprised that he was not reading a book. My eyes run over him, like water over a stream bed; amazed at how beautiful he is. Perfect. I am his. But he is not mine, at least, not yet.
He raised his right hand, touched a darkly glittering stone at the base of his throat. Zinging pleasure coursed through me. I could feel his heartbeat, the warmth of his flesh, the scent of his skin. That stone is my physical connection to him; my tear, a part of me constantly with him. I realized I liked that idea.
:...Hiei...: I reappear standing over him, blocking the low light of the afternoon. His bright eyes laughed up at me; he knew I was close by, watching him. Perhaps he felt my eyes running over his body; like the heat of the sun on bare skin. His blood hair gleaming, beautiful. The unfamiliar smile tugged at my lips.
"I've been waiting," his voice shivered through me, his hands caressing the pendant. The touch echoed strongly through my body.
"I know," kneeling down next to him, touching the hand on the stone.
He laughed gently, "Independent as ever," he teased. His hand releasing the stone to capture mine. He brought my palm up to his mouth and licked. My hand jerked, my body feeling the shock-waves of that simple touch. But HIS touch is never simple, always fiery. Kokuryuu-ha never created such heat.
He smiled again, knowing exactly what his kiss did to me. I bent down, and he closed his eyes in anticipation, tilting his head up to meet my lips. I stooped down, so close to his mouth that I could almost taste his breath, then swooped lower towards the open collar of his shirt. My mouth, wet against his barely damp flesh, opened against the hollow of his throat. I sucked hard, the pendant metallic against my tongue, his skin sweet.
His eyes opened is surprised shock, then slowly closed. He groaned. I smiled against his skin. :Gotcha...: I thought.
I felt his hands move up to my head, grabbing at the hair at my nape and slowly pulling. I let him. I had proved my point; he is just as sensitive to my touch as I am to his. He lifted his head, our mouths meeting, tongues battling, twisting and turning. He had taught me very well. I could feel his heart beat, fast and frantic. Mine was equally swift, my head spinning.
We parted reluctantly, forced to take in air into our starved lungs. I raised a hand to touch his wet lips, red from our kiss. His tongue flicked out to taste. He took my hand in both of his, pulling me closer. He sat up, and settled me so that my back was against his chest. I leaned back and relaxed. My hearth.
"I wanted you here for a reason, Hiei."
"Hn. I know. But don't we have to take our clothes off for that?"
He laughed, his chest vibrating against my back.
"No. Not for that." Then apparently reconsidering, "At least, not only for that..."
"What is it then?"
"We have to finish the rite."
I froze. I had not expected this. I couldn't think. I protested faintly, "But...."
"You didn't think I would bind myself to you, did you?" Kurama took my shoulders and shook me slightly. "Baka. How could you not? Sometimes you are really thick, Hiei."
"You aren't doing this just to even the score, are you?" I asked suspiciously.
If he was doing this out of his human sense of honor, then I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted him, but only if it was of his own free will. To finish the rite I had started bound the souls of the participants forever. But both must consent. I had started the rite to bind me to him, but he did not have to return the gesture... I would have been content to let it be.
I continued, "You do understand the rite? We'll be bound forever, Kurama. But if you don't complete it, you'll still have your freedom."
"It isn't slavery, Koorime." Kurama objected. "It is a pact between lovers, between friends. And nothing can break that bond. And I will be yours forever. Just like you are mine." I could hear the smile in his voice, "And besides, it's not like we are not already bound. The rite will only strenghten it."
"If that isn't slavery, I don't know what is." I said. "I knew what I was getting into. You don't."
"I do, baka. I understand the rite. Yukina explained it to me."
"What?"
"She and Kuwabara exchanged tokens, Hiei." Then pulling me closer, as if trying to restrain my sudden impulse to bash Kuwabara's face in, "It was her choice. So cool it." His hands wandered across the planes of my chest. I relaxed, feeling him touch me through the silk tunic, using the fabric to tease. The silk caught against my skin, I shivered in reaction. His hands teased my chest, pinching, rubbing my nipples into hardness. I shuddered :.......feels good....:
:...I know..... I can feel your reactions Hiei.:
His hands slackened, slowed. I made a faint sound of protest. "Don't..."
He said out loud, "We will finish the rite. Now."
Kurama touched my head, his fingers pressing lightly against my Jagan. The world disappeared with a shout.
---
I woke to find myself floating in darkness, alarmed. Where the hell am I? :Kurama?!: My hand went to my sword.
:...I'm here...: I watched a figure slowly coalesce out of the darkness. I blinked, confused. Kurama's body was changing peculiarly; shifting from a silver haired youko to his red-haired human form. Then the youko would sprout red hair and green eyes , then shift into a human with silver hair and fox ears, and shifting again into a green eyed silver fox.
Then I understood. Youko Kurama and the human Kurama were so intertwined as to be indistinguishable from each other. There was no separation in essence. Though the two were dissimilar in facade, the spirit was the same.
:Where are we, Kurama?: His form settled into a green eyed human, with a fox tail and silver hair.
:In my head. My memories. My self.: He said, voice changing from tenor to a deeper bass tone and back to tenor.
:Why?:
:This is my gift. This is our pact.: He slowly came towards me, reaching for my hands. :Watch.:
The darkness rolled back, and I watched his memories flash by. A collage of sights and sounds, the tastes and feels of his most powerful recollections.
A female youko abandoning him a father who did not care a man who hurt him over and over and over a friend a partner death battles fights thieving missions friends lovers pain suffering anger pain darkness awareness plants roses mother red ribbon an embra ce pain-anger-fear-guilt humans friends sister Reikai Makai Ningenkai .......
Names flashed by, faces and more memories.
.......yomi-rokuso-kuroi-kuronue-raizen-mukuro-kenshin-karasu-akarui-hikaru-toguro-bui-
kuwabara-yukina-botan-koenma-yuusuke-shiori-shuuichi-
hiei..............
Memories of abandonment, of pain, of joy, of life. I saw a young youko raped by a "father", raped by strangers, abandoned by a mother; a youko learning to survive, to thieve, to trust, to live, to die. I saw a human born, and the mother teach both sides of the child--human and Youko--compassion and humanity. I saw battles and fights, anger and fear, love and hate. I saw meetings and parting, death and birth. And through it all, I saw Kurama become what he is now.
The memories trickled to an end. I saw the night at the arbor, and realized that he needed me as much as I needed him. He had lived for five hundred years and never knew the meaning of innocence. I brought him that knowledge, and gave him that gift-- as much as I had given him a gift of a tear. I knew him now. At his worst, at his best. I knew Kurama.
The darkness overcame us, and I fell.
I woke to find myself lying on the blankets, looking up at the night sky. I could feel Kurama next to me, close but not touching.
"Kurama?" I turned my head.
He was sitting close by, no more than a hand's span away. But he could have been in a different world; he had withdrawn from me. I frowned, puzzled by his behavior. Then I had a sudden flash of comprehension. Just like I had expected rejection, so did Kurama. I knew I would have to make the first move.
"Kurama. Look at me."
He looked up slowly, his eyes shadowed. He thought I would be repulsed. He thought that after knowing his true self, I would run away and regret my gift. So, I smiled. He looked so wonderfully stunned.
I leaned closer and kissed his mouth. He froze and didn't respond. But when my tongue slipped in his mouth, he groaned deep in his throat and responded in kind. His tongue, slick and wet against mine, thrust into my mouth, sucking, licking, exploring. My hands buried themselves in his silky hair, his arms wound around me tightly in relief; fear and residual tension released. He understood. I had accepted his gift, and the pact was sealed. There was no turning back anymore.
---------------------------------- note: more random
rambling------------------------
Shuuichi-kun had e-mailed me about this song by Robert Miles that strongly reminded S-kun of my stories "The Arbor" and "The Gift".
This is part of the song lyrics that Minamo-san so kindly sent to me. And S-kun is right. It's PERFECT.
Thank you to the YYH mailing list fanfic writers who let me borrow some of thier characters/storylines etc.
by Robert Miles
The sky isn't always blue, The sun doesn't always shine, It's all right to fall apart some time. I am not always you, And you are not always my, It's all right to fall apart some time. After all is said and done, One and One said is one, When we cry, when we laugh, I am half and you are half. A heart isn't always true, And I am not always fine, We haven't been in heart sometimes, After all is said and done, One and One said is one, When we cry, when we laugh, I am half, You are half. Look how far we have come, One and one still is one, One moon, one moon, one star, one star, I love the One we are, One friend, one friend, one line, one line, Let's stand still in time. One moon, one moon, one star, one star, I love the One we are, One friend, one friend, one line, one line, Let's stand still in time. After all is said and done, One and One still is one, When we cry, when we laugh, I am half and you are half. Look how far we have come, One and one still is one, Ah.......