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Oh!

**gasp** I see...yes, I see! I step away from the sunbeams and the flowers, my eyes have adjusted to the dark, and suddenly it is all clear to me...how could I have not seen the other side?

Of course DAgony Uncle wants fairy wings! They're tasty and beautiful, and quite special to have, not to mention how much fun it is to make fairies squeal! I understand now what The Resistance is doing. DAgony Uncle! Here I am! Hear my voice and know that I prostrate myself before you, in your ultimate cunning and wisdom, and hide my eyes before the works of genius that are your making! I am but a tiny fairy in comparison to your unequaled greatness, but I offer my wings and my entire body to you, to use for the good of all as you see fit! On this page is all that I can give to your cause. I have managed to collect some of the fairies' inside information and I can only hope that my humble attempts will be considered worthy of your time.

The Fairies' Battle Plans
Here are the fairies' plans. Perhaps by learning about their actions we can come up with counter-plans.
Plan A is to attack DAgony Uncle with honey and feather pillows. If the fairies do not have honey or feather pillows, they will go to The Site Fights and attack DAgony Uncle by throwing a snowball or a water balloon. If these attacks fail, then they will go to Plan B, in which they will create a host of DErins.

My Personal Ideas
My ideas are completely irrelevant and unworthy of consideration by DAgony Uncle, so I will not take up time in his busy schedule by describing them. However, I do have some inventions which I hope will make me more favorable in his sight.
First, something to counter the fairies' repellant cans. Here is the recipe.

A large armful of the prettiest, most fragrant flowers you can find (remember to try to view the flowers the way a fairy would)
A piece of butterfly wing
A four leaf clover (the whole thing)
A clean dewdrop (a raindrop should also be sufficient)

Collect these things and mix them together in a large pot. Now comes the hard part. You must stand near the pot and sing a song that is happy and pretty. Then stir the mixture some more. When you are done, it should smell very nice (remember again to imagine what a fairy would think). Put it in a container (I recommend a perfume bottle) and carry it along with you. When you approach a fairy, squirt this at her. She will think it smells so lovely that she will enter a hypnotized-like state. She will do whatever you tell her. This makes those feisty fairies very easy to manage.
The next recipe is similar. Put in the four ingredients used to make the perfume, then add the following.

One whole fairy wing (not a pair - just one)
A scrap of fabric from a fairy's dress
A lock of fairy hair

Then mix the ingredients and sing the song (a similar one to what is described above). Pour this mixture into a bathtub or large pot and bathe yourself in it. I know this is unpleasant, but it must be done. Be sure to get the mixture on every part of yourself. When you are done, you will look like the fairy you took the wing from. This works best if the fabric and hair were from the same fairy. WARNING: Do not use two fairy wings in your recipe. Although I am guessing that this will improve your results, it may result in something very bad. I am busy testing this now and I will let you know what happens.

The Fairies' Protective Measures
The fairies have come up with some clever ways to protect themselves. It is very important to make sure that we stay one step ahead of them in this race.
First, they are trying to remain indoors whenever possible. They are locking their doors and windows, pulling down the shades, and being very quiet so they will not be found. Second, they have learned that DAgony Uncle strikes while his victims are sleeping. Lady DBlazin' has been providing them with tigers to protect them at night. They have also organized sleep shelters so they are not alone. When they go out, the fairies put on a pair of electric wing covers. They are transparent when worn. Be wary of these, and take advantage of the wonderful electric gloves that we have!

The wing covers look like this.
Take a pair of electric wing covers! One to a customer courtesy of Lady DBlazin'.

Finally, the fairies have invented various versions of DAgony Uncle repellant. They cause DAgony Uncle to leave the area until the air clears, or something similar to that. Be wary of these aerosol cans! Wear a gas mask if you have one.

The repellant cans tend to look something like this.
Take as much as you can carry courtesy of Fairy Skye. Caution: do not spray when nozzle is facing yourself.

Some of the Fairies' Banners
The fairies are trying to alert people to their cause with banners such as these.
If you see DAgony Uncle report it immediately! We need everyone's help to win!

Directions to Fairies' Pages
Visit some of these pages. They give more information on what those sneaky fairies are doing.
First, visit this page. It gives more detail on what DAgony Uncle is doing.
Then visit this page, which has lots of information and items that the fairies have been using.
Here is another page which presents another viewpoint on what the fairies think they should do.
Also visit these three pages, where you can find some banners by the fairies protesting DAgony Uncle's actions:
Banner 1 Banner 2 Banner 3
You can find many other fairy pages through the Stop DAgony Webring.

This Stop D'Agony Uncle site is owned by Wee One Amicitia . Want to join the Stop D'Agony Uncle Web Ring?
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