Dani, Dani, Dani. You know, she hates to dress up and I "heard" about a drawing that Jeremy did of her in a dress...For a copy of that... I think I just figured out what I want for Christmas. ::goes off to talk to Lina about certain things::

Drop the question what tomorrow may bring,
and count as profit every day that Fate allows you
-Horace

Well, I don’t know if I have the time or the patience to go over my whole life. Just hitting the more interesting spots could well take a long time. But then, I guess you know that Liza. Just as general background stuff, I was born on The Brandy Rose. When I was 2 weeks old my mother Katarina took me to see the gypsy part of my family. While we were gone, assassins struck at the ship and my father Osmir fell victim to them. So I never really knew him, which I’m very sorry about. Or, I should say, I never knew his physical person. I've since met and been saved by his spirit, which is where his true essence is. And I have to say, I'm proud to call him my father. Hard as it was for my mother, she went on as we all have to do when we lose someone we love. However, when I was 9, a stray arrow struck her and she died not long after. That left my brother as the Captain. Darryl’s mother, who was the first mate, couldn’t handle being on the ship without her best friend, so she decided to return to Lirelai, the land of the elves. This left Darryl as the first mate. From there on it was the three of us against the world. I don’t think we could’ve gotten any closer.

When I was 14, the major enemy of my family kidnapped me with the help of a cousin whose name I cannot say because she has been exiled. We didn’t find out about her involvement until about two or three years ago, though. That left her plenty of time to cook up other mischief. She hates Patrick and me with a passion and loves to do things to hurt us. Unfortunately for her, she just can’t quite get it right. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. I was kidnapped in Jhinyr and held prisoner by Lord DuBois for two years. He kept moving me all over the continent, so that made it very difficult for anyone to find me. He being a wealthy aristocrat, always made sure that we stayed in the best and most opulent places, be they his personal homes or wherever. Regardless of this supposedly easy way of life, I was still a prisoner. Even though he treated me politely, and almost chivalrously, I was still imprisoned. Regardless of the politeness of a captor, he is still a captor and I knew that I couldn't let my guard down with him. I rebelled every chance that I got, but he was very good at keeping me locked away. Whenever I was allowed to go out, there were several guards with me. I can't tell you how rank it can get being forced to interact with nobility who believe themselves so far superior to everyone else. There really wasn't anything much exciting that happened during that time besides the fact that I tried DuBois' patience on ever so many occasions. That was at least amusing, as was doing the same sort of things with others of his ilk. I knew that eventually I would be rescued, but I can tell you that it got rather worrisome on occasion as to how long that would take. I missed Patrick and the others so badly and it was such a trial being stuck on land when I'd spent most of my life on board the Rose. I have to admit that sometimes, yeah, I wondered if I'd ever get rescued.

However, Chance finally was able to do so. He and I had gotten very serious about each other and he felt it his calling to do whatever it took to get me free. And his never giving up paid off in the end. I remember the night very clearly. It was in Char-Gin, and DuBois was intent upon having a large social gathering for the nobility of that city. Lord Harmigan, aid to the king.. who I must add was merely a puppet king, Harmigan was the one with the real power.. was to be the guest of honour. I wasn't looking forward to another evening full of stuffy people with nothing important to say, but I didn't really have much choice but to attend. As usual, I resisted DuBois' efforts to get me to dress up. There was no way I was going to look like one of them, even if it meant I had to go naked. Of course, that wouldn't do, so he simply allowed me to choose my own wardrobe. He'd long since given up on trying to get me to listen to him in most ways. But to get on with the story, a short while after everyone had arrived, DuBois went up to my room to get me. After a bit of.. discussion.. I finally ended up going down to the party with him. Of course, the large and annoying guard who had my arm and pulled me that way had nothing to do with my cooperation. I'm a very cooperative person, you know. I hate to make waves.

Well, down I went and it was as depressing looking as ever. Perhaps more so. Just watching all of those people who so happily made their fortunes on the misfortunes of others is enough to turn my stomach even now. Slavery was a very big business for many of those people, I recognized them easily from past dealings. I had braced myself for another tedious night when I caught my first glimpse of hope. There was Chance, dressed as one of the caterers. He didn't fit the bill very well, no offense to him. But he and his cousin Aaron and three of his friends had managed to ambush some of the caterers and the like and take their places. I can't tell you how good I felt to see someone familiar. Chance never looked so good to me. It actually didn't take all that long for the rescue to progress, all told. Chance was chomping at the bit and well, patience is not his biggest virtue. It was obvious that things were going to have to go quickly or it would be noticed that something strange was up. So Chance.. ever my brother's capable student.. just decided to be blunt about it and grab me when he came by with a tray of champagne. That ended up all over DuBois' front and Chance and I made our way to the door. I suppose we might not have gotten away had it not been for Aaron. He's a rather intimidating man to some, being large and a very excellent warrior. Because of he and his friends.. we got out and away. I also need to add here that this was the first time that I met Kordak. They had met him in the city, he had been doing some work of his own there. That work was done, and so he offered his help. The fact that he had been masquerading as one of those disgusting nobles helped to give us an edge we might not otherwise have had. He had arranged for transport and defense for us. And he'd also managed to get magical help to send word to my brother where we were. Which put the Brandy Rose in port in the nick of time. Patrick always has had spectacular timing. I can't tell you how relieved and happy I was to see the Rose again and everyone on it. When we set sail, it was one of the happiest days of my life.

It was on the sail to Tem-ad-Thar to return Kordak that Chance asked me to marry him. It was even the next night after the rescue. I agreed immediately, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to marry him. I'd known it before I'd been kidnapped and the long absence from him and how empty I felt without him, assured me that he was definitely the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was another one of those best nights of my life. While we knew that we wanted to be together forever, we didn’t set a date at that time, figuring we had plenty of time. Wrong.

During our time in Tem-ad-Thar, when Patrick went off without me after having decided to be more protective than usual, I met Maurice briefly. It was only a fleeting glimpse that I got of him and I didn’t really think much about it, but he did. I guess something hit him about me, and he decided that wanted my engagement broken off. So, he went to his dear sister Gabrielle and she set off after Chance. I don't know what spell she got put on him to get him to do as she wanted, but she eventually got him. We tried to protect him as best we could until we could find a way to get the spell off, but we had no idea what we were dealing with. And with Patrick gone, we didn't have his instincts behind us to tell us that he was still in danger with as much protection as we'd given him. He was a marked man; marked by one of the most dangerous beings out there, even then. That made his chances pretty small for getting out of it. However, Maurice wanted Chance dead, but Gabrielle decided she liked him and turned him into a vampire. I didn’t see him for the longest time after that. I thought he'd been killed until Patrick returned, when he told me that he hadn't. That was some relief. I hated what had happened, but I knew I had to go on with my life, as hard as it was.

I did get on, and after a time I got very close to Kordak, who Patrick had asked to watch over me during some turbulent times. He never thinks I can take care of myself, I wonder if it’s just him or if all big brothers are that way. Although thinking about it, I guess I do a pretty lousy job of taking care of myself. Well, Kordak and I got very close after awhile. He went with me just about everywhere, and after awhile we spent a night talking and realized that we had fallen in love. Or I did, and I thought he did. I guess he thought he had, too because he asked me to marry him one day before he went off to embroil himself in some dangerous thing with my brother. Of course, I said yes and before he left, we were married. At that time I inherited the two children, Billy and Lea, he had gained when he married his first wife, who had been killed. As well as them, he had three others that he had adopted when he had found them orphaned in a very nasty place. Tiko, Arala, and Sharelle. I have to say that Sharelle was partly reponsible for getting Kordak and I together. She took a great liking to me and kept trying to push Kordak to me. Well, it worked, at least for a time.

But, less than six months after we were married, some strange trickster god fucked with the head of Kordak’s god Hephaestus. He is the high priest of Hephaestus in Tandraia and so very devoted. We've found out since that Kordak is actually Hephaestus' son. So when his god started telling him that a gypsy was not worthy of him, Kordak took it to heart, rather too quickly in my opinion. In fact, I ended up walking in on Kordak and one of his temple guards, Dina Brighthelm, one evening. She had been with him a long time and apparently was very attracted to him. He finally decided to take advantage of this. I suppose I could’ve handled the cheating all right, but not the words he said to me. He out and out blamed me for it all and went on about my heathen ways. He told me how I wasn't a suitable wife and how because I was a gypsy he could no longer abide the fact that I venerate no gods. It goes to show just how little he knows about gypsies. We don't venerate one god above all, we venerate many. I was in shock at first and then I had to turn and leave before I hurt one or both of them. Dina looked so superior and so pleased with it all. The woman annoys me like few others.

Kordak went on about his business for a couple weeks after that, no matter who talked to him he refused to see reason. He was ready to pack up and leave Tandraia because he didn't feel as if anyone could understand that he saw things in the right light while everyone else was blinded. The dealings that had gone on with Hephaestus then got discovered and the god that fucked with him was made to make things right again. Kordak was informed of the error of things, and so changed his plans about leaving. But even after things started to settle down, he never did apologize. We spent a lot of time talking and we became friends again, but in the end I think that he still believed that he was justified in saying what he did. Hephaestus apparently felt very guilty about what he was manipulated into doing, but that guilt did not pass on to Kordak. In the end, he told me that we couldn't be together because he didn't feel that.. if the situation came down to it.. he could spend eternity with me. He could with someone like Dina, but if we had been made to live forever, I just wasn't the one he felt that he could spend forever with. Nice, huh? Of course, there's no way that I would have taken him back then anyway. I couldn't.

The really fun part is that just a week after this all happened, I found out I was pregnant. And guess what? Dina ended up the same way. Apparently that trickster god decided it would be really amusing to make sure that happened. We both got pregnant, and we both ended up with twins. Well, not to go too far into my pregnancy, this league of gypsy haters started making waves. In the process, they ended up poisoning my food. I survived, but I thought the twins had been killed. I certainly wasn't carrying them anymore. But in truth they were not dead, they were taken. I was totally devastated, I can't tell you the feeling that gave me. I guess I was foolish enough to expect some comfort from Kordak. He came to see me, but even though we had apparently lost our children.. I barely crossed his mind. Even though were weren't together anymore, I still needed his comfort. He came long enough to make sure I was still alive and then left. He never once tried to help me through it. That hurt most of all, I think.

I went into a real depression after that time, and for my safety I was removed from where I was staying at the palace and taken to the temple of Apollo in Tem-ad-Thar. I don't know why Patrick never told me the twins weren't dead, he knew. But I know that he had his reasons, which were probably to not get my hopes up about getting them back until it was able to be accomplished. Regardless, I was stuck at the temple for a short while, but then.. I had no choice but to sneak out. Maurice had gotten more heavyhanded about getting me, and I had to go to prevent him from continuing this small killing spree he'd gone on. By then the Greater Vampire potion had been created and he had become the first, and the most powerful. So he let me feel what he was doing to those people through our connection. What else could I do? They took me to Dalrath, which was an ancient empire that had risen again after someone had fucked with time. Naomi Greystaff, who had once been on the good side and even married to Trace Corin, had turned dark and found out her roots there. So she made sure to get it started again, with much help. She is the one that finished the creation of the Greater Vampire potion, following research that her mother had made. That does remind me. That side has been quiet for far too long. Hopefully that's not a bad sign.

So anyway, I went there and it was there that I was forced to marry Maurice. It wasn't the most pleasant of ceremonies, and I was forced to drink the blood of Angelique to help tie it all together. That started me on a lot of problems in the future, but we're not quite there yet. I got stuck there and would have stayed but for the fact that Prince Dragen Garandan of Sembrid came to my rescue. Maurice had made the vow not to attack anyone else because of me when I married him and so I was free to go without reservations.

It was after I returned to Tem-ad-Thar that I found out another big surprise. I'd finally pushed myself to go out and about and had gone to the Rose to touch base with the crew. While I was there, I noted Darryl acting somewhat strangely, but I didn't get much out of him. I suppose the surprise didn't come till later, but that was the first indication I had of him feeling more for me than just friendship. Of course, I'm not very observant about some things, so didn't notice. I went on with things, and during this time was when I got to meet Lina and Liza. That led to a whole hell of a lot of other adventures. I guess during this time I started to have feelings for Darryl too, we'd started spending a lot of time together. Of course, I didn't tell him that. One day when I walked in on him kissing Lina, I guess it hit home just how I felt. A lot of shit went on after that, where I'm sorry to say that poor Darryl went through some real hell. He didn't know what to do. And then, well, he got caught by Angelique as she and Hecate worked together. She turned him into a vampire and added a little something to make him more connected to her, to make him have feelings for her. It was also during this time that I found out my twins hadn't been killed, but that Angelique had taken them through some kind of magic when she sensed them in danger somehow. Marina and Andre started being taken care of by her and Hecate. I got captured in there.. more than once.. and when Angelique broke off from that side, I got stuck with the allied Hecate and Set. But during one of my breaks from this, due to help from Jeremy breaking off the legal marriage to Maurice, Darryl and I got married. He was and still is one of my closest friends and I loved him very much. But even that was not to be, he traded himself to Angelique to save some friends. He’s spent so much time with her, I think he truly believes that he loves her. I wish to all the gods that I could get him out of that, but he gave his word to her that if she helped Lina, Darlantan, and Drew that he would not leave her. He does go to The Rose now again, though. He left as first mate for awhile but now serves in that way once more. It just wasn’t the same without him.

Anyway, onto more current events. Miguel and I met when several of us ended up having to go to Earth. He and Madison were very close then and eventually got married. We became very good friends not long after Liza was forced to turn him into a Greater Vampire. He had some very big difficulties with his new state and I talked to him a lot to try and help him through it. Eventually he and Madison got married and well, I don’t think either of us ever expected that our marriages would both end and that we would get together. He had been taken prisoner by Set’s side for some time before we did and again, I kept him company, at least mentally. They cut him off from everyone else and so I talked to and listened to him for hours at a time. Set’s side virtually threw us together, hoping to pull out our dark sides. Some strange giant creatures who had taken a great interest in the Greater Vampires had decided they wanted to see what would happen to one if they drank my blood. Using both Miguel and Kathleen, they found out that it was possible to addict one to my blood. Kathleen didn't get addicted, but Miguel did. This ended up making us even closer than we were. With a little help from Corruption, Miguel and I finally succumbed to what we felt. I can't tell you the guilt that we both had for a long time after that. It was also during this time that in order to help push us more toward our darker sides, Set tied our two souls together. This resulted in us becoming very very close, and we both feel each other's pain and know all that the other knows. But what it did not result in was turning us dark. I'm sure Set just loves stubborn people.

I should mention briefly that before this, I ended up pregnant briefly with Miller’s child. Completely against my will, of course. The man makes me sick. I wasn’t able to carry Eric or give birth to him anymore than I was my twins. They took him out of my womb and placed him in the womb of another woman. I eventually got him from them, although it was an arduous process. I have four more children as well, Sabrina who is Jeremy’s daughter who was conceived after they used a magic oil on him to make him force himself on me. Again, they would not let me carry her. But I got her back as well. And then there was Osmir. Miguel’s son, who was named after my father. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, but I was not to give birth to him, either. Although the reasons were not the same. I had to save my son Billy from Richard Mirs and in order to be able to put up with the torture he was going to put me through, Artemis placed Osmir into Raiena’s womb for that night. Although it ended up being more than just that night because magic was used to make it so I could not get him back. And so I guess Raiena is kind of like another mother to him. I can’t thank her enough for what she went through to help me out there. The third of those children is Kriszta, whose father is Cristov. He ended up unwillingly having some feelings for me, and I was forced to seduce him. She was the first child I was able to give birth to. Although even that was not to be a completely natural thing as Eternity's side put me through the torture of going through most of the pregnancy and the labour in one day. It was the most painful thing that had ever happened to me, I can say that. That girl seems to have inherited many of my character traits, too. Already mischievous as hell. She's definitely not a calm one as is her father.

I have to mention separately the fourth of those children, Aiesha. I do that because that is a whole story in itself. She was the first of my children that I was able to carry and birth naturally. She is not Miguel's daughter either, but Reggie's. You see, one of the cruelest things that those sisters did was to him. They decided that it would be great fun to do to Reggie what had been done to me and Miguel. They tied his soul to ours. The results are much the same, we know all he does and feel his pain, and vice versa. Poor Reggie was thrown into this and he's constantly feeling like an intruder and even though he loves me very much, he tries so hard to hide it. Miguel and I both know he does, of course.. and he knows we know.. but that doesn't stop him from trying. What he doesn't want to realize or admit, is that I feel the same about him. I can't help it, it's just the way it is. Miguel knows that and accepts it, but Reggie refuses to. The three of us are as close friends as is possible, and we always will be. We're family to each other, it's just hard for Reggie to know that he's part of us and not outside of us. Yeah, sometimes I feel guilty about my feelings for him, but Miguel chastises me for that. He's so understanding about it and I know that he loves Reggie like a brother. It's going to take some time to come to grips with all of this, for each one of us. In time, I'm sure that things will work out how they're supposed to. I guess I just want to make it official and make it known.. to Reggie more than anyone.. that I love him very much. And in the end, there's nothing to feel guilty about for either of us. It doesn't hurt Miguel, because of this soul tie it seems perfectly natural to him. He really is an amazing man.

Well, in current times, I am.. once again.. pregnant. It's Miguel's child again and the pregnancy is still new. Meaning I have months in which I have to again be careful and take as few risks as possible. That's always the hard part, I do have to say. But I do have things to occupy my mind, what with those two men and all of those children. And now happily, Phlynn has joined the fray. I went so long without seeing him and so I'm very very glad that he's back in my life. He stays at the nursery for now, and I'm confident that I won't lose track of him again. I love him like my own child, even if he is centuries older than I am. He's still very childlike in most ways and he's had a hard time at times. I also have to deal with the fact that yet more Greater Vampires have become connected to me, many of the more recent ones being Malkavians. Forced Malkavians. It's difficult getting used to being connected to that insanity, but I know it's not as difficult as being forced into it. I hope that something stops those Malkavians on Eternity's side from doing what they've been doing, they're hurting so many people. With help, I think we'll all get through this. And we will get Earth back from Heinrich, as long as it may take. There are some pretty determined people working against him. Working together will eventually help us to rise above these people that try to subjugate us. Love really is the most binding force in any world, dimension, plane, or time. And that I have plenty of. That.. and determination. And hell.. we have Patrick so how can we lose?

I know not what course others may take;
but as for me,
give me liberty, or give me death!
-Patrick Henry

When my world seems to crumble all around
And foolish people try to bring me down
I just think of your smiling face
And I'm flying
-Madonna