Part X

The goblet begins to glimmer as Alan slowly pours himself a glass of 1985 Merlot.  He leisurely elevates the wine to the light as he scrutinizes the contents.  His eyes strain as they meet the chandelier thru the delicate glass.  He meticulously turns the fine crystal and begins to rotate it about in the warm light.  His face is analytical as his grasp strengthens.  As the tonic gradually arrives at his features, his senses capture a trace.

Alan: Alexandra!

Silence ensues.

Alan: Alexandra!!!

Alex rushes onto the country club floor.

Alex: What is it darling?

Alan: Who in the hell is responsible for this wine selection?

Alex: Well, Alan-dear, I have no idea.  Does it taste foul?

Alan: Its appearance is foul!

Alex: It's appearance?  Half of Springfield is about to attend an elegant Spaulding affair and you are concerned with the appearance of the Merlot?

Alan: That is precisely why I AM concerned.

Alex: My dear, forget the wine.  This is to be a celebration!

Alan: Alexandra, this is not merely a celebration and you know it.  My son, in his brilliance, has invited almost every major stockholder and I cannot afford to have our image tarnished by some minuscule wedding.

Alex: Minuscule wedding?  I would hardly call the marriage of the Prince of San Cristobel, minuscule! 

Alan: The marriage is beside the point.

Alex: Oh Alan!

Alan: Alexandra, the very structure of Spaulding Enterprises could be drastically changed this evening.  I am hardly concerned with that infinitesimal island referred to as San Cristobel.

Alex: Darling, what on earth are you yammering about?

Alan: Never mind.  Just please do something about these beverages.

Alex: Brother dear, I know you far too well.  What exactly are you scheming?

Alan: I am hardly scheming, Alexandra, merely attempting to better all our lives.

Alex: (rolls her eyes) Every time I hear that, I tend to regret it later.

Alex walks away as Alan ponders the intense possibilities the evening could possess.

Alan: (to himself) Regret will not be served this evening… (pauses) At least not to THIS family's table.

Phillip: What did you say, Dad?

Alan: (composed) Phillip.  So good of you to finally arrive.

Phillip: That's why we pay people, dad.  To take care of things FOR us.

Alan: Apparently you are not paying the right people the proper amount.  This set-up is completely wrong.

Phillip: Dad, don't even try to turn this into a business meeting.

Alan: You have invited over half of our board of directors, Phillip, how could it be otherwise?

Phillip: This is a wedding party, Dad.  Even businessmen like to attend social occasions.  (pauses) Okay, well, most businessmen.

Alan: Have I taught you nothing?  We still have to make an impression.  And where is the rest of the family?  Amanda surely should be here by now!

Phillip: I'm not going to get into this with you. 

Alan: Phillip, we have an image to uphold in this family.

Phillip: This family…

Harley: (purposefully interrupting) Good evening, Alan.

Alan: Harley, so glad you could join us.

Harley: I wouldn't miss it.  Cassie is a friend of mine, you know.  And I'm not one to miss a party!

Alan: Now where have I heard that before?

Harley: What?

Alan: Nothing.  If you will excuse me, someone needs to take these matters in hand.

Alan smirks and walks away from Phil and Harley.

Phillip: He's in rare form.

Harley: I believe they call that "Spaulding mode".

Phillip gives her a look.

Harley: Well, those of us in the know do anyway (she smiles).

Phillip looks to Harley with confusion.

Phillip: What are you…

Alex: Phillip-darling, will you please attempt to control your father.  He is about to relinquish the entire wait staff of their duties and I am not about to spend my evening serving pate' with a cute little fork.

Phillip rolls his eyes, looks at Harley and slowly walks away with Alex.

Harley: Need I say more?

Buzz: You're a Cooper, do you have to ask permission?

Harley: (turns to Buzz who is with Selena) Oh Dad, thank God… a normal person.

Buzz hugs Harley.

Selena: You must be reading one of those modern psychology books because your father is far from normal.

Buzz throws Selena a teasing look.

Harley: Alan is being his charming self and turning his entire family into Spauldings once again.

Buzz: Well, honey, I told you…

Harley: Don't even start, Dad.

Buzz: What?  What?  I told you… that… we…. would be here.

Selena: Nice save.

Harley: Well, I am glad you are here.  These parties aren't exactly your idea of a fun evening.

Buzz: Well, Prince Dickie and I go way back.

Harley: Prince Dickie?

Buzz: Richard… he's an old pal.

Selena: Don't tell me, he was in Nam with you.

Buzz: (throws her another look) Let's just say he's a man with good taste.

Harley: Obviously.  He's marrying Cassie.

Selena: Talk about a real-life fairy tale.

Harley: Well, it's hardly been picture perfect, but I do think they will have a happy ending and ride off into the sunset.

Buzz: Where is everyone?

Harley: Well, actually you are early.

Selena: (hits Buzz) I told you!

Buzz: What!  So we get to take the whole circus in from the beginning?  What's the big deal?

Selena: Are you gonna do a play by play?

Harley: This is about to become a sporting event, I'm afraid.

Selena: I've never seen such a fuss about two people getting married.  I mean I know he's a Prince, but come on.

Buzz: Welcome to Springfield.

Phillip: (insistent) Harley, please help me before I strangle my father.

Phillip drags Harley away as she attempts to say goodbye to her father and Selena.

Buzz: Like I said: Springfield.

Selena: Well since we are here five years earlier than the rest of the town, find me a drink and let's sit down.

Buzz: Yes, ma'am.

Buzz and Selena sit in the far corner of the room with an appropriate view of the upper staircase.

15 minutes later

Selena: Doesn't it just fascinate you how some people just end up together, sometimes just out of the blue?

Buzz: Oh, you're not going to get all girly-talk on me are you?

Selena: What!  I'm just saying… life is funny.  I mean, I actually believe in fate and all and the "master plan", but it still just fascinates me how some couples hook up.

Buzz: And unhook and rehook.

Selena: Oh geez.

Buzz: And latchhook.

Selena: You are such a man!

Buzz: (in his worst Elvis) Thank ya, Thank ya very much.

Selena: Like look… there (points to stairs) Beth and Jim, talk about out of the blue.

Buzz: What are you talking about?  Let's see… they "hooked" because my granddaughter decided to come to town… her father came after her and was introduced to his daughter's mother's husband's ex-wife and they ended up getting married.

Selena: I call that fate.

Buzz: I call that a mouthful.

Selena: So what would you call Danny and Michelle?

Buzz: Well that's a little different.

Selena: Uh-huh.

Buzz: I don't know if it's this fate-thing…

Selena: But?

Buzz: But nothin'.  I guess they are special.

Selena: Special?  The daughter of Mike and Carol Brady getting together with the son of Jimmy Hoffa is special?

Buzz: Sounds like a bad romance novel.

Selena: Look, there's Blake and Ross…

Buzz: (under his breath) Speaking of…

Selena: And Rick and Abby, now there is…

Buzz: I know, I know… don't even start.

Selena: I'm serious here!

Buzz: Well put the four of them together and you have a great story.

Selena: Save it.

Buzz: What?!

Selena: If you are going to sit here and be a jerk, I'll just find someone else to talk to.

Buzz: Uh!  A jerk?!  Me?

Selena: (ignoring him) Oh my God, who is that hunk o' man?

Buzz: Aw, now she tries to work into my good graces.  Thank you doll, I'm Buzz.

Selena: (still ignoring him) Hello Honey!!!  Woah!

Buzz: Who in the hell… (noticing) Oh well that figures.

Selena: Oh la la…

Buzz: Down girl.

Selena: Who is that?

Buzz: I can't believe he is here.  The boy has nerve.

Selena: He's got more than that… yum.

Buzz: Well, wipe the drool away and listen.  That is Richard's brother, Edmund.  The infamous Prince Edmund.

Selena: Oh, I can see why.

Buzz: You don't know the half of it.

Selena: Can't be that bad.

Buzz: Can't be that good.  You've heard of the black sheep?

Selena: Could describe a lot of us...

Buzz: Well that would be Edmund…  times 20.

Selena: Hmmm… too bad, cause he looks good enough to eat.

Buzz: (waving his hand in front of her face) Hey. Selena. Hey!  Remember me?

Selena: Huh?  Oh, hey there.  Sorry.  (giggles slightly)

Buzz: Give it up because here comes his latest acquisition.

Selena: Carmen?  Wouldn't it be the other way around?

Buzz: Remains to be seen.

Selena: This is sure a bizarre crowd.

Buzz: The Spauldings wouldn't have it any other way.

Selena: Oh and there are Matt and Vanessa… more fate.

Buzz: (rolls his eyes) Oh goody… back to that.

Selena: Well come on… she's died how many times?

Buzz: I don't think she holds the record.

Selena: And there is Olivia.  Well at least she didn't come with…

Buzz: You spoke too soon.

Selena: Talk about looking uncomfortable, what is wrong with him?

Buzz: Let's see… he's making a public appearance with his girlfriend… but I think he's looking around for his wife.

Selena: He needs to figure out what the hell he wants.

Buzz: Oh he knows.  He's just not willing to admit it.

Selena: So he's being a man?

Buzz: Uh… something like that.

Selena: Well hopefully Reva will stay home.  The last thing she needs is to see them together.

Buzz: I doubt she will be here.  Her and Cassie aren't exactly getting along.

Selena: What a mess.

Buzz: It is… but it will work out in the end.

Selena: Now you are suddenly Mr. Positive?

Buzz: You know what you were saying about fate?

Selena: So you were listening.

Buzz: Well they are hardly out of the blue, but they are joined together for eternity.  If I ever believed anything in my life, I believe that.

Selena: What are you talking about?

Buzz: Josh and Reva.