THE PILOT
Good News, Bad News
A woman who Jerry is attracted to stays with him while she is visiting
while George is teaching him some signals. it's the only episode that
Kramer ever knocked on the door
Elaine is not included in the pilot.
THE STAKEOUT (episode 2)
The first time that we meet the whole gang: Jerry, Elaine, George &
kramer
Jerry meets a woman at A party that he attended with Elaine so he and
George go on a stake at the Lawyers office building This the first time
that George gets to use his fake name art vandaley.
THE ROBBERY (episode 2)
Jerry is out of town so Elaine offers to do some house sitting.
when he comes back he finds out that oh no he was robbed. George try's
to convince Jerry to move to another place, Elaine has some plans too.
MALE UNBONDING (episode 4)
Jerry try's to break up with his male friend, names Joel but it is
a mission impossible.
THE STOCK TIP (episode 5)
George gets a stock tip from some one, gets Jerry involved.
Jerry goes to vermont with Vanessa his girlfriend but that didn't go
so well, neither did his stock investment.
THE EX- GIRLFRIEND (episode 6)
George is having problems breaking up with his
girlfriend when he finally does Jerry goes out with her but she doesn't
like his act and dumps him.
THE PONY REMARK (episode 7)
Could it be that Jerry's aunt maunia died because of a remark of his
about kids who grew up with pony's? anything is possible.
THE JACKET (episode 8)
Jerry buys a very expensive Jacket that turns out to be trouble
(this is the only episode with Elaine's father
.advise: never ware a suede jacket in the snow.
THE PHONE MESSAGE (episode 9)
Jerry is dating a woman who likes Docker's commercials ,George
leaves a bad message on a woman's machine and then regrets it he
try's to steal the tape before she listens to it
THE APARTMENT (episode 10)
Jerry tells elaine about a great apartment
in his building but when he thinks it over he understood his mistake
Kramer is very "helpful" on the matter.
THE STATUE (episode 11)
Jerry has a man clean his apartment and thinks he may have
stolen it. kramer retrieves it from the man.
THE REVENGE (episode12)
George quits his job and then regrets it he comes back to work as if
nothing happened but hid boss makes a fool out of him so he decides
to slip
him a mickey with a bit help form elaine. Jerry and Kramer scheme to
revenge the laundromat when Jerry cant find his money.
THE HEART ATTACK (episode13)
George is afraid that he had a heart attack
kramer takes George to a holistic healer, he ends up im the hospital
in the end all he needs is a tonsils operation.
my fave line : "kill me jerry i'm begging you".
THE DEAL (episode 14)
Jerry and Elaine come up with a plan that they
can have sex and still be friends George how ever is very Skeptical.
THE BABY SHOWER (episode 15)
Elaine throws a baby shower for one of her collage friends
Kramer gets Jerry to get illegal cabal. George has a plan to make Elaine's
friend pay
for a little matter that involves chocolate and his shirt
THE CHINESE RESTAURANT (episode 16)
Jerry Elaine and George all go to A Chinese Restaurant while they
are waiting and waiting for a table some interesting things happen:
George is trying to call his girlfriend, Jerry Elaine make a Bet.
BUT even a bribe doesn't get them a table.
THE BUSBOY (episode 17)
George gets a busboy fired because of A remark of his when he tries
to apologies he looses the guys cat (with a bit of help from kramer)
Later on this remark saves his life.
THE NOTE (episode 18)
Jerry gets the gang massages with the insurance covering it.
George fears the possibility of being gay when he gets his massage
buy a male.
THE TRUTH (episode 19)
Jerry gets audited. George causes his accountant girlfriend
to be admitted to a mental hospital
THE PEN (episode 20)
Elaine & Jerry visit his parents in Florida
Elaine has a really "good" time there.
Jerry gets an astronaut pen that is nothing but trouble.
THE DOG (episode 21)
Jerry met A man on an airplane and was forced
to take care of his very big and mean dog.
THE LIBRARY (episode 22)
Jerry is being accused by A library detective named bookman
for a overdue book from 1971. George finds out that his gym teacher
is a homeless
but when it comes to George he still cantstandia.
THE PARKING GARAGE (episode 23)
George and Jerry can't wait and there is no bathroom.
Jerry: "because i could get urinmisitoses and die that's why"
THE CAFE (episode 24)
Elaine helps George cheat on a IQ test
while Jerry who is a very good man tries to Babbo Baht a new immigrant
to bring customers
to his restaurant
THE TAPE (episode 25)
Elaine leaves an erotic message on Jerry's tape recorder
in one of his performances, George gets a Chinese cure for boldness
George Jerry & Kramer are all stunned by Elaine
THE NOSE JOB (episode 26)
George frets over his girlfriend big nose. When he
encourages her to get a nose job, things get worse.
THE STRANDED (episode 27)
Jerry feels guilty for keeping the host of a party up late while he
and Elaine wait for a
ride home from Kramer. Then, a month later, this party host shows up
at Jerry's
doorstep to have the favor repaid. George is having problems with a
drug store.
THE ALTERNATE SIDE (episode 28)
George inherits the job of moving cars from one side of the street
to the other to
avoid parking restrictions. Elaine starts dating an older man. when
Elaine's date
suffers a heart attack, the emergency crew has difficulty in getting
to the apartment
because of the way George has parked the cars.
THE RED DOT (episode 29)
Elaine finds a job for George at her publishing company. George starts
dating one of
the cleaning ladies. To show his appreciation to Elaine, he buys her
a sweater which
is a bargain because it has a very small red spot. The salesman convinces
him that
nobody will notice. Elaine notices immediately and George is embarrassed.
THE SUBWAY (episode 30)
Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine all have separate, yet parallel encounters
on
subway cars. Jerry falls asleep and wakes up with a naked, overweight
man who he
befriends and spends the day with at Coney Island. George, on his way
to a job
interview, is robbed by a beautiful con-artist who chains him to a
bed in a hotel.
Elaine, on her way to a lesbian wedding, missed her stop and ends up
in Harlem.
Kramer overhears a tip on a racehorse and wins $18,000. He is then
chased through
the subway by a suspicious character.
THE PEZ DISPENSER (episode 310)
While Jerry, Elaine and George are attending a recital by Noel, George's
girlfriend,
Jerry makes Elaine laugh by playing with a Pez dispenser which Kramer
gave him.
Elaine's laughter interrupts Noel's recital which causes her to be
angry with George.
George, realizing he does not have the upper hand in the relationship,
decides to
break up with Noel before she breaks up with him. Jerry and Elaine
organize an
intervention to help one of Jerry's friends get into drug rehabilitation.
And Kramer
joins a polar bear swim club.
THE SUICIDE (episode 32)
Jerry's neighbor, Martin, attempts suicide because he thinks his girlfriend,
Gina, is
flirting with Jerry. While Martin is in a coma Gina does try to start
a relationship with
Jerry. George thinks he might be psychic so Elaine takes him to a fortune
teller. Just
as the fortune teller is about to warn George of impending danger,
Elaine angers her
and they are thrown out.
Note: Wayne Knight is introduced for the first time as "Newman".
THE FIX UP (episode 33)
Elaine and Jerry decide to fix up George with Elaine's friend, Cynthia,
but they never
suspect it will work. Jerry and Elaine decide that they will share
whatever details they
learn about the date. George and do get along and actually have sex
on their
first date. George uses a condom that Kramer had given him and it turns
out to be
defective. George tries to call Cynthia to tell her but she is late
for her period and is
afraid George has gotten her pregnant. Elaine and Jerry figure out
that they each
know more than they are telling each other about George and Cynthia's
date. George
tells Cynthia he would support her in any way she needs but it turns
out she is not
pregnant.
THE BOYFRIEND (episode 34)
Jerry tries to establish a friendship with Keith Hernandez and realizes
the similarities
of dating with new male friends. Keith asks Elaine out on a date which
makes
Jerry jealous of both Keith and Elaine. Kramer and his friend, Newman,
are angry with
Keith because they think Keith spit on them after the world series,
but Jerry explains unemployment benefits, George decides to date the
daughter of the unemployment
office manager.
First time we hear Jerry's greeting, "Hello, Newman".
THE LIMO -- Episode 35 (02/26/92)
Jerry and George decide to take the limo of a man Jerry knew did not
get on the
plane since George's car broke down on the way to the airport. The
limo was actually
waiting to bring the head of the Aryan nation to a rally. Since nobody
had ever seen
the man, George unknowingly assumes his identity. The idea backfires
when the real
nazi leader phones the car to say he did not make it.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN -- Episode 36 (03/04/92)
Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run auto accident and chases down the driver.
She turns out
to be a beautiful redhead whom Jerry decides to ask out for a date
instead of
confront. When Jerry learns that the victim of the accident is a beautiful
blonde, he
feels extremely guilty. He tries to act as the intermediary but the
redhead is irate when
he discusses the accident and the blond thinks he is the one who hit
the car. George,
meanwhile, has an affair with Elaine's friend, and Kramer has seizures
when he hears
Mary Hart's voice.
THE LETTER -- Episode 37 (03/25/92)
Jerry is dating an artist, Nina, who is painting a portrait of Kramer.
Her father gives her
tickets to the Yankees game which she gives to Kramer, George and Elaine.
When
Elaine refuses to take off her Orioles hat because she is sitting in
the owner's box,
they get ejected from the game. A photo of the altercation makes the
newspaper.
Elaine fears her boss will see the picture because she lied to him
to get out of
attending his son's Bris. When Jerry breaks up with Nina, she copies
a letter from
'chapter town' to get Jerry back. The portrait of Kramer is sold to
a wealthy couple
THE PARKING SPACE -- Episode 38 (04/22/92)
George battles with Kramer's friend, Mike, over a parking space in
front of Jerry's
apartment. Elaine, Jerry, Newman, bystanders and cops take sides as
to whether it is
proper to back into a space or pull forwards.
THE KEYS -- Episode 39 (05/06/92)
Kramer lets himself into Jerry's apartment one too many times, prompting
Jerry to
take his spare set of keys back. This prompts a continual chain of
key exchanges
among Kramer, George and Elaine. Kramer is distraught over losing his
key
privileges and decides to flee to California to become an actor. Jerry
uses George's
spare keys to get into Elaine's apartment to get his keys and they
discover Elaine is
writing a 'Murphy Brown' script. Kramer appears on 'Murphy Brown' as
Murphy's
assistant.
THE TRIP, PART I -- Episode 40 (08/12/92)
When Jerry is booked to appear on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'
he takes a
nattering George with him to Los Angeles to search for Kramer - who
vanished in a
huff months earlier only to pop up inexplicably on TV in an episode
of 'Murphy
Brown.' While George bothers all of the celebrities he encounters,
he and Jerry are
unaware that their wayward friend is in trouble as a victim of mistaken
identity.
THE TRIP, PART II -- Episode 41 (08/19/92)
Jerry and George arrange to get Kramer released after
his arrest. They discover Kramer's career as an actor has
not been going as well following his 'Murphy Brown'
appearance. George and Jerry try to lure Kramer to return
to NY with them, only to meet with little success. They do
manage, however, to get him to go to Las Vegas with
them.
THE PITCH/THE TICKET -- Episode 42 (09/16/92)
Jerry gets approached by NBC executives to create a television series.
George
comes up with the idea of doing the show about nothing. When George
and Jerry
pitch it to the network, George gets a date with one of the execs.
Kramer vomits on
the exec's coat after drinking Jerry's bad milk. Newman trades his
helmet for
Kramer's broken radar detector. The helmet protects Kramer from a crazy
writer. After
being hit on the head by the crazy writer, Kramer is quite confused.
Newman gets a
speeding ticket and tries to put Kramer on the stand in his defense.
Kramer goes in
and out of reality and Newman loses. NBC decides to make a pilot of
Jerry and
George's show. George is upset about the writing fees. The crazy writer
stalks Jerry.
Note: An hour long episode!
THE WALLET -- Episode 43 (09/23/92)
Jerry's parents come to visit because his dad wants to see a back specialist.
When
he returns from getting x-rays he notices his wallet is missing. Jerry
lies to his parents
regarding a watch which they gave him and he threw out but Uncle Leo
took out of the
trash. George passes on the offer to the network. Jerry's dad refuses
to let Jerry pay
for dinner, even though he has no money. Elaine tries to break up with
her
psychiatrist by saying she is dating Kramer. Jerry discovers Leo has
his watch.
THE WATCH -- Episode 44 (09/30/92)
Jerry tries to buy the watch back from Uncle Leo who charges him a
fortune. Jerry's
dad finds out Jerry lied about the watch. George goes to the network
president's
apartment to get the offer back and negotiates down until the president
agrees.
Kramer visits Elaine's psychiaonly to be convinced Elaine should not
be involved
with Kramer. Jerry buys his dad a new wallet to replace the one that
was stolen and
hides $400 inside. His dad sees the wallet has a velcro fastener so
he throws it away
as he leaves for the airport. Uncle Leo finds the wallet and takes
it out of the trash.
THE BUBBLE BOY -- Episode 45 (10/07/92)
Jerry is recognized at the cafe and asked to visit a boy who lives
in a bubble. Gerry,
George, Susan (from NBC) and Elaine go up to Susan's father's cabin.
Since the boy
lives near the cabin, Jerry agrees to visit on his way up. Jerry and
Elaine are to follow
George and Susan to the boy's house but George loses them by driving
too fast.
while George and Susan wait for Jerry at the bubble boy's house, George
gets into
an argument with him and its not pretty picture.
THE CONTEST
Our foursome enter into a contest of self-control as various external
factors tempt
them into submission. When George surprises his mother, Estelle, she
pulls out her
back and is hospitalized. George visits her in the hospital frequently
in order to watch
her attractive roommate's sponge bath. Jerry is still dating the virgin
and she is
contemplating having sex with him. Elaine meets John Kennedy, Jr. in
an aerobics
class and gets a date with him, but when he comes to pick her up, she
misses the
car and he picks up Jerry's virgin girlfriend instead.
THE AIRPORT -- Episode 50 (11/25/92)
Jerry and Elaine are flying back from WashDC.Jerry has a party in first
class while Elaine shares a row
with an overweight, snoring, obnoxious man. George andKramer are to
pick them up at JFK. At the airport, Kramer runs into Grossbard, a former
roommate who owes him money. George fights with a criminal over who will
purchase the last issue of a magazine at the airport gift shop, which happens
to have the criminal pictured on the cover. Kramer decides to buy a ticket
to get on the plane of the guy who owes him money. Thinking they will return
the tickets for a refund, George asks him to buy two so he can get the
frequent
flier mileage. On the plane, Kramer is arrested for beating up on Grossbard.
Kramer
escapes and is spotted by Jerry runnialong the runway as his plane
lands.
George gets beaten by the convict.
THE PICK -- Episode 51 (12/16/92)
Elaine decides to let Kramer take her picture for her Christmas cards
after seeing the
card Jerry received from Tia, the model he is dating. Elaine sends
out the cards
without noticing that they are more revealing than she would have liked.
Kramer
notices Tia is wearing the perfume he tried to sell to Calvin Klein.
Sensing he has
been ripped off, he meets with Calvin who finds him to be the perfect
model for his
underwear line. Jerry fears Tia is not returning his calls because
she saw him in his
car scratching his nose, but from her angle it looked like he was picking
it.
THE MOVIE -- Episode 52 (01/06/93)
A comedy of errors kicks in when Jerry is frustrated in his attempts
to squeeze in two
comedy appearances across town while shadowed by a pesky fellow comedian.
Later, Jerry's bad timing continues when he has to rendezvous for a
movie with
George, Elaine and Kramer - who are all in different orbits looking
for seats as well as
each other.
THE VISA -- Episode 53 (01/27/93)
Babu Baht's visa renewal application form accidentally ends up in Jerry's
mail. Babbo
is deported before Jerry can straighten out Babbo dilemma. George tries
to impress
a female lawyer with his wit. He convinces Jerry to be serious around
her as not to
spoil George's plan and get help for Babbo - but when she learns of
Jerry's act she
refuses to help. Kramer returns early from baseball fantasy camp after
he accidentally
punches Mickey Mantle in a bench-clearing brawl.
THE SHOES -- Episode 54 (02/04/93)
Jerry and George scramble to keep their feeble idea for a TV series
alive when they
meet with a skeptical TV executive who catches them eyeing his teenage
daughter's
cleavage. Crosstown, Kramer begins dating Jerry's ex-girlfriend - a
chef who
becomes obsessed with possessing Elaine's fashionable shoes.
THE OUTING -- Episode 55 (02/11/93)
When Elaine notices that a girl is eavesdropping on their conversation
in the
Coffee shop she jokingly asks Jerry and George when they are 'coming
out of the
closet.' The eavesdropper turns out to be a reporter who prints the
story of Jerry and
George's 'relationship.' George decides to use the mishap as an excuse
to get out of
a relationship, but the girl does not believe him.
THE OLD MAN -- Episode 56 (02/18/93)
Good Samaritans Jerry, George, and Elaine volunteer to comfort and
assist senior
citizens in their homes. Unfortunately, Jerry is assigned to a nasty,
vile old cuss -
whom he loses on the streets thanks to Kramer's intrusion - while George
depresses
an elderly man and Elaine is repulsed by the sight of an elderly woman's
goiter
problem.
THE IMPLANT -- Episode 57 (02/25/93)
Elaine convinces Jerry that Sidrah, the woman he is pursuing, has breast
implants.
Jerry decides to break up with her. When Elaine breaks her fall in
the shower by grabbing Sidrah's breast,
she realizes what an awful mistake she has made. Jerry tries to get
back together with Sidrah. George,
in an attempt to build his relationship with his new girlfriend, agrees
to attend her aunt's funeral in Detroit. George fights with his girlfriend's
brother and gets sent home. Kramer thinks he has met Salmon Rushdie at
the health club.
THE JUNIOR MINT -- Episode 58 (03/18/93)
Jerry picks up a girl at a supermarket but does not know her name.
He has several
dates with her and still is not able to remember her name. An old boyfriend
of
Elaine's is in the hospital. He is an artist. Kramer and Jerry observe
Roy's surgery
and one of Kramer's Junior Mints accidentally falls into the abdominal
cavity. When
Roy's prognosis for recovery is poor, George decides to buy some of
his art, hoping
it will increase in value if Roy dies. Jerry and Kramer feel guilty
because they think it
was the Junior Mint which is causing Roy's decline. Roy recovers believing
it was
George's interest in his art which gave him the will to live.
THE SMELLY CAR -- Episode 59 (04/15/93)
Jerry gets his car back from a valet and discovers the valet's body
odor has taken up
permanent residence in the car. The smell also gets caught on Elaine
and Jerry.
Elaine's new boyfriend stops seeing her because of the smell. Jerry
unsuccessfully
tries to get the smell removed from the car, as Elaine tries and tries
to get the smell
removed from her. George discovers that Susan has become a lesbian
after they
broke up. Then Kramer becomes involved with Susan's 'girlfriend.'
THE HANDICAP SPOT -- Episode 60 (05/13/93)
On the way to an engagement party Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine
stop at a mall
to buy a gift. George parks in a handicap spot against the wishes of
the others. When
they return to their car, a woman is being taken to the hospital because
she has fallen
when her wheelchair batteries could not make it up the hill she had
to traverse since
the handicap spot was taken. An angry mob waits by their car to see
what louse
would park in the handicap space. Kramer falls in love with the handicap
woman and
takes George to buy her a new wheelchair. Jerry and Elaine try to get
the
engagement gift back when the engagement falls through. And George's
father wins
an award from a charity.
THE PILOT -- Episode 61 (05/20/93)
Jerry and George get the green light to produce their proposed TV pilot
based on
their lives. But while Jerry plays himself, George objects to the nebbish
portraying
him and worries about a white spot under his own lip. Elsewhere, a
lax Kramer deals
with a personal plumbing problem; Elaine protests against a diner that
employs
buxom waitresses; and 'Crazy Joe Davola' haunts the TV studio.
Note: A one hour episode!
THE MANGO -- Episode 62 (09/16/93)
When Elaine tells Jerry she faked orgasms during their relationship
Jerry tries for one
more chance at pleasing Elaine and George feels insecure in his current
relationship
and fears his girlfriend is faking as well. Meanwhile, Kramer is banned
from a local
fruit stand after returning a bad peach.
THE PUFFY SHIRT -- Episode 63 (09/23/93)
Jerry and Elaine have dinner with Kramer and his new girlfriend,
a mumbling 'low-talker.' Jerry unknowingly agrees to wear a
puffy shirt designed by Kramer's girlfriend during an appearance
on the 'Today Show.' The shirt causes his interview with Bryant
Gumble to become embarrassing. George is forced to move
back into his parents home. George gets a job as a hand model
but loses it when he burns his hands.
THE GLASSES -- Episode 64 (09/30/93)
George loses his glasses at a health club and talks Elaine and Jerry
into shopping for
new glasses with him. Elaine gets bitten by a dog at the eye glass
store and
becomes concerned about rabies. George is supposed to get a discount
from the
optometrist because he is a friend of Kramer, but the optometrist refuses
to give the
discount. George thinks he spots Jerry's girlfriend kissing Jerry's
cousin, Jeffrey.
THE SNIFFING ACCOUNTANT -- Episode 65 (10/07/93)
Jerry, Kramer and Newman conduct a stakeout after Jerry becomes suspicious
after
he runs into his accountant at the coffeeshop and notices his constant
sniffing. Jerry
and Kramer set out to find out if his accountant is a cocaine user
only to learn that he
was just allergic to Jerry's mohair sweater. George has an interview
to become a bra
salesman. Elaine gets into a fight and breaks up with her boyfriend,
a writer, over his
lack of expressive punctuation.
THE BRIS -- Episode 66 (10/14/93)
Jerry and Elaine are chosen to be the godparents of their friends Myra
and Stan's
baby. Elaine finds a very nervous and shaky mohel. The mohel cuts Jerry's
finger
while he is holding the baby during the circumcision. A man jumps off
the hospital to
commit suicide and lands on the roof of George's car. George tries
to get the hospital
to repair his car. Kramer believes he sees a 'pig-man' in the hospital,
the result of a
sick genetic experiment and sets out to liberate him. Kramer also attempts
to stop the
bris as he does not believe in circumcision.
THE LIP READER -- Episode 67 (10/28/93)
Jerry and George go to a tmatch where Jerry meets Laura, a pretty lineswoman
who is deaf. Jerry invites her to go to a party with him, George, Kramer
and Elaine at
Todd's house. George is dumped by his girlfriend, Gwen who is also
going to be at
the party. Because Laura can read lips George asks her to tell him
what Gwen and
Todd are discussing across the room. Kramer erroneously interprets
her sign
language causing George to embarrass himself by yelling at Gwen over
nothing. Both
Elaine and Newman ask if they can borrow Laura's lip reading
ability for their own
benefit. Kramer attempts to become the first 'ball-man' at the tennis
club.
THE NON-FAT YOGURT -- Episode 68 (11/04/93)
Jerry and Elaine enjoy the yogurt at Kramer's friend's store so much
that they do not
believe it to be fat free. When they take a sample to be tested, some
spills into the
blood sample of Mayor Dinkins. The lab discovers the yogurt is not
'fat free' and
Mayor Dinkins wins the election with the yogurt fraud becoming a pivotal
point in his
campaign. Elaine dates an aid to mayoral candidate Giuliana, Lloyd,
and gives him an
idea of George's that everyone in New York wear name tags. The idea
gets Lloyd
fired.
THE BARBER -- Episode 69 (11/11/93)
When Jerry gets a bad haircut from 'Enzo', he needs to sneak behind
Enzo's back to
have 'Gino' (Enzo's nephew )fix it. Enzo suspects Jerry is cheating
on him so he
bribes Newman to get a sample of Jerry's hair. George is unsure if
he has been hired
for a job and with his potential new boss gone on vacation, he decides
it would be
better to show up for work and assume he has the position, even though
he has no
idea what to do when he arrives there. Elaine is hosting a bachelor
auction and when
Jerry bows out due to his bad haircut, Kramer takes his place.
THE MASSEUSE -- Episode 70 (11/18/93)
Jerry is dating a masseuse, Jodi, who refuses to give him a massage.
He gets even
more upset when he learns Jodi is giving Kramer a massage. George gets
back with
Karen to rekindle the relationship from 'The Mango'. After a double
date with Jerry
and Jodi, George learns Jodi did not like him. This gets him so obsessed
with Jodi
that he becomes attracted to her, thus causing him to end his with
relationship with
Karen once again. Jodi breaks up with Jerry when he tries to force
her into giving him
a massage. And, Elaine finds a new beau who is perfect, except for
his infamous
name.
THE CIGAR STORE INDIAN -- Episode 71 (12/09/93)
Jerry, feeling guilty about making Elaine take the subway and hoping
to impress
Elaine' friend, Winona, buys a cigar store indian from an antique shop.
Winona is
offended by the gift and Jerry must now convince her he is not a racist.
George
entertains a lady in his parents bed while they are out of town but
leaves a
prophylactic wrapper on the bed. They ground him. Elaine takes Mr.
Costanza's TV
guide (with Al Roker on the cover) to read on the subway. Ricky, a
TV guide
collector, sees Elaine reading the guide and tries to return it to
her when she leaves it
on the subway. Kramer comes up with the idea of making a coffee table
book about
coffee tables and sells it to Elaine's boss.
THE CONVERSION -- Episode 72 (12/16/93)
George decides to convert to the Latvian Orthodox religion to keep
Sasha from
breaking up with him. After he converts he surprises her with the news
only to learn
she is going to spend a year in Latvia. Jerry tries to date one of
his neighbors, Tawni,
but when he finds a fungicide in her bathroom he gets suspicious. Elaine
is dating a
podiatrist and asks him what the fungicide would be used for. He thinks
Elaine has the
fungus and tries to break up with her. Jerry learns the fungicide is
for Tawni's cat but it
is too late to help Elaine with her date. Kramer meets a soon-to-be
nun who falls in
love with him at the Latvian Orthodox Church. Feeling guilty for the
power he has over
women, he visits the priest for a cure.
THE STALL -- Episode 73 (01/06/94)
When Elaine's bathroom stall is out of toilet paper, she asks the woman
in the stall
next to her for a square. The woman, Jane, refuses to help. Jane later
tells her date,
Jerry about this rude woman in the bathroom. Elaine is dating Tony,
an adrenaline
junky who she later admits to only be dating for his looks. George
develops a
fondness for Tony and is talked into going rock climbing with Tony
and Kramer. When
Tony falls off the rock, his face gets cut. Elaine now must decide
if she should
continue dating him. Kramer is convinced that Jane is also the phone
sex woman he
has been calling. Jerry tries to keep Jane from meeting Elaine to avoid
further
confrontation over the bathroom incident.
THE DINNER PARTY -- Episode 74 (02/03/94)
Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer are invited to a dinner party. They
decide to stop
along the way and bring a bottle of wine and a dessert. When Jerry
and Elaine get to
the bakery they forget to take a number so Elaine asks the couple who
arrived after
them for their number - but they refuse. Elaine gets very angry only
to learn that the
couple is going to the same dinner party. To top it all off, the couple
buys the last
chocolate bapka, which is what Jerry and Elaine wanted to bring.Kramer
and George
go to pick up a bottle of wine, but the store clerk refuses George's
$100 bill. When
they return to the store with smaller bills, George knocks over a case
of wine with his
big gore-tex coat. Kramer and George return to Kramer's car only to
learn they have
been blocked in by what turns out to be a Saddam Hussein look alike
(or is it?)
THE MARINE BIOLOGIST -- Episode 75 (02/10/94)
When Jerry runs into an old classmate of his and George's, she asks
what George is up to. Jerry, trying to
cover for George's misfortune tells her that George is a marine biologist.
When she and George go out on a date at a seafood restaurant on the
shore - there is an
emergency call for a marine biologist to help a beached whale.
Elaine gets the opportunity to work with a great Russian writer, Yuri
Testikov, but when a computerized organizer starts beeping he tosses it
out the window and hits a passer-by, Corinne, in the head.
She finds Jerry's number and asks him to pay for her medical expenses.
Jerry gets Elaine to ask
Testikov for the money. Kramer goes to hit golf balls into the ocean
from the beach
and is plagued by sand in his clothing.
THE PIE -- Episode 76 (02/17/94)
When Jerry's date, Audrey, refuses to taste his pie without giving
him a reason, Jerry
becomes suspicious of her, not to mention obsessed. They later dine
at her father's
restaurant but when Jerry sees her father make their pizza after not
washing his hands
after using the restroom he refuses to eat the dinner. Kramer spots
a mannequin that
looks just like Elaine at a ritzy store. When George and Elaine go
to check it out,
George finds a suit he wants to buy for an interview. The salesperson
tells him the suit
will be half-off in two days, so George stands watch at the store so
nobody will buy it.
Elaine returns to the store and kidnaps the mannequin. Kramer develops
a back itch
and the cashier at the coffee shop offers to scratch his back. In a
few days the itch is
gone, but the woman seems to enjoy scratching his back so much Kramer
doesn't
have the heart to tell her she isn't needed.
THE STAND-IN -- Episode 77 (02/24/94)
George wants to break up with his girlfriend but when he learns that
someone has told
her to break up with him, he decides to keep seeing her just for spite.
Jerry agrees
to go to the hospital to cheer up a friend of a friend, but he is so
uncomfortable that he
bombs. While at the hospital he meets someone that he fixes up with
Elaine. Elaine
agrees to go out with the guy but while on their date, he exposes himself
for no good
reason. Kramer gets a job as a stand-in on a soap opera and makes friends
with
another stand-in who is a little person. When the kid who the little
person is the
stand-in for grows two inches, the little person gets concerned he
will lose his job.
Kramer offers the solution of wearing platform shoes to make the little
person taller.
The littleperson is caught in his platform shoes by another little
person who shames
him for not accepting his height.
THE WIFE -- Episode 78 (03/17/94)
Jerry finds a locket in a pocket of a jacket he had dry cleaned. When
he
returns the locket to the dry cleaner, the dry cleaner offers him a
discount
on all cleaning for his family. Jerry's girlfriend, Meryl, wants in
on the
deal so she declares herself his wife. Jerry has fun playing along
with
Meryl until they run into Uncle Leo at the cleaners. Leo gets bent
out of
shape when Jerry introduces his 'wife' to him. Elaine tries to go out
with
an arrogant guy at the gym, Greg (only to find out he wants to date
the
manager). Greg catches George urinating in the shower and tries to
have him expelled from the gym. Kramer goes to meet the parents of
his
new girlfriend, Anna, who happens to be black. He falls asleep in the
tanning bed, thus embarrassing himself in front of her family.
THE RAINCOATS -- Episode 79 (04/28/94)
Jerry's parents, Morty and Helen, come to visit on their way to a vacation
in Paris.
Elaine's boyfriend, Aaron (who is a close talker), tries very hard
to be nice and takes
Jerry's parents everywhere he goes with Elaine, and even without her.
George's
parents invite the Seinfelds over for dinner, but they come up with
excuses not to go.
George catches on that the Seinfelds don't like his parents sending
him and the
Costanzas into a rage. Kramer strikes a deal with Morty to sell Morty's
raincoats to a
vintage clothing store. When George sells his father's old clothes
to the same store,
the owner finds moths in the boxes forcing him to not accept any more
clothes from
people 'off the street.' This blows the deal with Morty and Kramer.
Jerry tries to get
time alone with this girlfriend, Rachel. He finally is able to take
her to 'Schindler's List'
where Newman catches them making out. Newman tells Rachel's father
who forces
her to break up with Jerry.
THE FIRE -- Episode 80 (05/05/94)
Kramer is getting his coffee table book published and is assigned to
Toby as his
editor. Toby is an eternally happy person who really gets under Elaine's
skin. Kramer
invites her to see Jerry's comedy act which is being reviewed by 'Entertainment
Weekly,' and Toby starts heckling him, causing him to blow his routine.
Jerry gets
revenge by heckling Toby at her office. She runs out of the office
and gets her pinky
toe severed by a hotdog cart. Kramer finds the pinky toe, commandeers
a bus and
gets it to the hospital. Elaine loses out to Toby who gets a promotion
out of
sympathy. George realizes he is a coward when he yells fire and runs
out during a
birthday party of his girlfriend's son's.
THE HAMPTONS -- Episode 81 (05/12/94)
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer go to the Hamptons to visit their
friends Carol and
Michael and their newest baby. George brings Jane, his new girlfriend,
in anticipation
of finally having sex with her. When George leaves to get some Hamptotomatoes
to
bring back to his mother, Jane decides to sunbathe topless - in front
of Jerry, Kramer
and Elaine. When George learns that everyone has seen Jane topless
except him,
he is very upset and tries to see Jerry's girlfriend, Rachel, naked.
When the baby
turns out to be quite ugly, they all try to hide their opinion from
Carol and Michael.
Carol tries to fix-up Elaine with the baby's pediatrician, Ben.
THE OPPOSITE -- Episode 82 (05/19/94)
George discovers that because his life has been full of bad decisions,
he should do
everything exactly the opposite of his instincts. His theory works
as he starts dating a
beautiful woman, gets a job with the Yankees and is able to move out
of his parents
house. Elaine's life also changes as bad decisions cause bad things
to start
happening to her; she loses her boyfriend and possibly her job. Jerry
discovers that
he always breaks even; if something bad happens, something good always
follows.
Kramer goes on 'Regis and Kathie Lee' to promote his coffee table book.
Jerry takes Miss Rhode Island on a date and asks Kramer to be their
chaperone.
Kramer offers her advice for the upcoming Miss America Pageant and
eventually
becomes her personal consultant and travels to Atlantic City for the
competition. Jerry
and George go to Atlantic City for the weekend for Jerry's gig and
they accidentally
ruin Miss Rhode Island's chance at the crown. Unemployed Elaine interviews
for an
open position at Doubleday which Jackie O. once filled. While at the
interview, a
companion of Jackie O's offers Elaine a job as his personal assistant.
While
employed by the Yankees, George is appalled when he learns that the
team uniforms
are polyester and suggests cotton uniforms.
THE BIG SALAD -- Episode 84 (09/29/94)
Elaine asks George if he will pick up a big salad for her when he goes
to lunch with his date, Julie.
Julie hands the big salad to Elaine and Elaine thanks her, even though
George bought the salad.
George becomes obsessed with the idea that Julie took credit for the
salad.
Kramer penalizes his golfing buddy, Gendason (an ex-baseball player)
when he breaks golf rules, and
Gendason blows up at Kramer. Kramer discovers that Gendason is being
held as a prime suspect in the murder of a dry cleaning store owner.
Feeling responsible for Gendason's hostile mood, Kramer helps Gendason
escape in a white Ford Bronco.
Jerry has difficulty dating a woman, Margaret, when he discovers she
dated Newman
and Newman was the one who broke it off.
THE PLEDGE DRIVE -- Episode 85 (10/06/94)
Jerry agrees to host a pledge drive on PBS and gets Kramer a volunteer
job
answering the phones. Jerry thinks Elaine's friend Noreen is hitting
on him. Thinking
she is speaking with Noreen, Elaine mistakenly asks Dan, Noreen's high-talking
boyfriend, if Noreen is hitting on Jerry. Kramer convinces Jerry to
cash several
birthday checks he has received over the years from his grandma and
this causes his
grandma's account to become overdrawn. And, George believes that people
are
giving him the finger.
THE CHINESE WOMAN -- Episode 86 (10/13/94)
George's phone lines are crossed with Donna Chang's. When Jerry thinks
he is
speaking to a Chinese woman he asks her for a date. On the date, Jerry
discovers
she is actually not Chinese but from Long Island and had her name shortened
from
Changstein. George's parents plan to divorce until George's mom takes
advice from
Donna Chang; but when she learns Donna is not Chinese, the divorce
plans resume.
George's dad is spotted with a mysterious man in a cape, who turns
out to be his
lawyer. Kramer's sperm count is low so he's ordered to switch from
briefs to boxers.
After Elaine causes her friend Noreen to breakup with another boyfriend,
Kramer
steps in to keep Noreen from Elaine.
THE COUCH -- Episode 87 (10/27/94)
Jerry's new couch is delivered and Elaine falls in love with the delivery
man. Kramer
decides to go into a 'Make Your Own Pizza' restaurant with Poppie (of
Poppie's
Restaurant) and convinces Jerry and Elaine to try Poppie's 'succulent
duck'. During
dinner, Poppie tells Jerry and Elaine his views on abortion and Elaine
demands to
leave. The outburst causes Poppie to go to the hospital. Later, while
Poppie waits in
Jerry's living room for the 'duck money', he urinates on the new couch.
Elaine learns
her new boyfriend's views on abortion and they break-up. George joins
a book club
with his new girlfriend and decides to rent the movie instead of reading
the book.
After learning that the video is checked out, he goes to the family
and asks if he can
watch it with them.
THE GYMNAST -- Episode 88 (11/03/94)
Jerry is dating a1984 Romanian Olympic gymnast. George's girlfriend's
mother is
impressed with him until she catches him eating a danish out of the
garbage and
cleaning a stranger's windshield on the street. Jerry learns that George
takes off his
shirt every time he uses the bathroom. Elaine is forced to attend Mr.
Pitt's board
meeting while Mr. Pitt obsesses with 3-D computer art. Kramer is constantly
in pain
THE SOUP -- Episode 89 (11/10/94)
Jerry regrets accepta designer suit from an obnoxious comedian when
he's
suckered into treating the comic to dinner as a token of appreciation.
Meanwhile,
George goes in search of a new diner after he bungles a date with a
waitress who
works at his usual hangout. Elaine's overseas love interest quickly
wears out his
welcome when he comes to visit Elaine.
Note: Kenny Bania is introduced for the first time.
THE MOM & POP STORE -- Episode 90 (11/17/94)
Kramer tries to help a local mom and pop shoe repair store from going
out of
business by bringing all of Jerry's shoes for repair leaving him only
a pair of cowboy
boots to wear. George desperately tries to confirm that the car he
bought was once
owned by Jon Voight by matching pencil bite marks and bite marks on
Kramer's arm.
Elaine identifies a big band song on the radio and wins a spot holding
a giant balloon
in the Macy's parade for Mr. Pitt. All except Jerry are invited to
Tim Whatley's annual
pre-Thanksgiving party, which Jerry had attended in years past but
never liked. Now
that he isn't invited he decides he must crash the party as Elaine's
guest. When Jerry
knocks a trophy off Tim's window sill, it falls and pops one of the
Macy's balloons
being inflated below.
THE SECRETARY -- Episode 91 (12/08/94)
Jerry suspects that Willie, his dry cleaner, is wearing his clothes.
George hires his
new secretary, Ada, based on her efficiency over her good looks to
avoid
temptations but quickly finds her efficiency a turn on. Elaine tries
to return a dress she
bought at Barney's because it misrepresented her in their 'skinny mirrors.'
Kramer
meets Uma Thurman at the movies and gets her phone number. While shopping
at
Barney's, Kramer sells the suit he's wearing to Kenny Bania - leaving
him without
clothes in the ladies' dressing room.
THE RACE -- Episode 92 (12/15/94)
Jerry's girlfriend, Lois, works for Jerry's old high school classmate,
Duncan. Duncan
has always suspected that Jerry cheated to win a big track race in
high school, which
in fact Jerry did cheat and win. Jerry reluctantly agrees to race again.
Elaine learns
that her boyfriend Ned is a communist. Steinbrenner believes that George
is a
communist because he is answering a personal ad in a communist paper.
Steinbrenner decides to use George to recruit baseball players from
Cuba. Kramer
and Mickey are dressed up as Santa Clause and an elf for the department
store
during the holidays.
THE SWITCH -- Episode 93 (01/05/95)
Jerry's girlfriend, Sandy never laughs at his jokes but her roommate,
Laura, finds him
quite funny. Jerry and George make plans for Jerry to 'switch' and
date Sandi's
roommate. George suspects that the model, Nina, he is dating is bulimic
as she
devours large quantities of food and routinely 'freshens up' in the
ladies room.
Kramer is reunited with his mother, Babs, after a five year absence.
Elaine loans Mr.
Pitt's expensive Breulein tennis racket to Jocelyn Landis of Doubleday
hoping it will
help her land a job, but later can't get the racket back. Newman and
Bab's become
attracted to one another. We finally learn Kramers's first name...
hello, Cosmo!
THE LABEL MAKER -- Episode 94 (01/19/95)
Jerry gives two Super Bowl tickets to Tim Whatley because he is in
the Drake's
wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. Tim asks Newman to go to the Super Bowl
but then
takes the ticket back to ask Elaine. Tim sends Jerry a label maker
to thank him but
Elaine suspects it is the same label maker she gave to Tim as a gift.
George is
excited to see his girlfriend Bonnie's apartment but quickly becomes
disappointed
when he meets her male roommate, Scott, who looks just like him. Kramer
and
Newman become obsessed with playing the game of world domination, Risk.
THE SCOFFLAW -- Episode 95 (01/26/95)
George realizes that their friend, Gary lied and told everyone he had
cancer. In order
to keep his secret, Gary offers George a prime parking space. George
tells Jerry the
secret which upsets Jerry because he bought Gary a membership to 'Hair
Club for
Men.' Elaine's ex-boyfriend, Jake Jarmel is at a book signing and she
pays him a
visit to ensure that she had the upperhand in the post break-up relationship.
Kramer
helps Officer Morgan as he searches for the man who has escaped paying
parking
tickets for 16 years. Kramer discovers that the scofflaw is Newman
and convinces
Newman to turn himself in.
SEINFELDS' HIGHLIGHTS OF A HUNDRED
(02/02/95)
Spotlighting some of the series funniest moments, Seinfeld will introduce
clips from
such episodes as 'The Contest, ''The Fix-Up,' The Boyfriend,' 'The
Pen,' 'The
Opposite,' 'The Junior Mint' and dozens' of other 'Seinfeld' classics.
Also included
will be a look at some of the botched relationships endured by series
characters;
catch phrases from the shows that have caught on in the mainstream;
and some of the
off-the-wall and off-the-subject conversations between characters.
Host: Jerry Seinfeld
THE BEARD -- Episode 96 (02/09/95)
Jerry starts dating Sgt. Cathy Tierney who wants to give Jerry a polygraph
test
because he won't admit he watches 'Melrose Place'. George decides he
wants to
wear a toupee to improve his image. Kramer sets George up with an old
girlfriend,
Denise, who turns out to have lost her hair. When George decides to
date her
anyway, she dumps him when he reveals he is also bald. Kramer earns
money for
being a line decoy at the police station, and he befriends a homeless
man. Elaine
begins to fall for her gay friend Robert while she poses as his wife
in front of his boss.
She successfully brings him onto 'her team' but he reverts back to
his boyfriend after
a short affair.
THE KISS HELLO -- Episode 97 (02/16/95)
Jerry runs into Elaine and her physical therapist friend with a weird
hairdo, Wendy,
who he is always obliged to kiss hello. Frustrated with this obligatory
kiss, Jerry
decides to stop all 'hello kissing.' Kramer hangs photos with the names
of all the
tenants in his apartment building in the lobby so people will feel
more sociable with
one another. This, of course, increases the number of people kissing
Jerry hello.
When Jerry finally puts an end to the 'kiss hello' the other tenants
turn on him for
being anti-social. Elaine decides to introduce Wendy to Kramer in the
hopes that he
will convince her to change her hair. Kramer likes her 'unique' look
and starts to date
Wendy. George begins treatment with Wendy but battles with the receptionist
about
having to pay for a canceled appointment. Jerry's Nana has trouble
distinguishing
from the past to the present and Jerry learns that in 1941 Uncle Leo
was suppose to
give his mother fifty dollars. Uncle Leo decides to put Nana in a nursing
home and
Helen and Morty calculate the money which Uncle Leo owes them.
THE DOORMAN -- Episode 98 (02/23/95)
Jerry picks up Elaine while she is house sitting for Mr. Pitt and has
a runin with the doorman, Sal,
who thinks that Jerry is belittling his job as a doorman. George's
father, Frank Costanza, moves in with George while he and Estelle work
things out. George and Kramer notice that Frank seems to have unusually
large breasts for a man and Kramer and Frank design a man's bra, the bro.
When. they go to sell 'the bro' to Sid Farkus, Sid asks if he can date
Estelle. Jerry agrees to
watch the door for the doorman but soon leaves his post and the lobby
couch is
stolen. Jerry replaces the couch with the couch that Poppie urinated
on. Poppie
walks in the lobby and reacts to the sight of Elaine and sits on the
couch once again.
Elaine manages to annoy Mrs. Payton, the head of the building co-op
committee, and
threatens Mr. Pitt's chance for his building permit.
THE JIMMY -- Episode 99 (03/16/95)
Jerry, George and Kramer meet a great basketball player, Jimmy, at
the gym who
can jump really high due to his special shoes. Jimmy always calls himself
by his own
name - 'Jimmy's been watching you' - and Elaine gets excited when she
thinks
'Jimmy' is another guy she has a crush on. George is accused of stealing
Yankees
equipment as he looks suspicious because he is constantly sweating
from the gym
or spicy Chinese food. Jerry and Kquestion their dentist, Tim Whatley,
when
they discover a subscription of Penthouse magazines in the waiting
room and a
dental hygienist who looks like a Penthouse model cleaning their teeth.
Kramer
receives heavy Novocain and is mis-identified as a mentally challenged
person when
he shares a cab with Mr. Deensfrei. Mr. Deensfrei offers Kramer to
be a guest of
honor at a benefit starring Tony Bennett.
THE DOODLE -- Episode 100 (04/06/95)
Jerry and his date, Shelley, double date with George and his date,
Paula. Jerry is
disgusted when he realizes that he was eating pecans that Shelly had
sucked on and
George finds an ugly doodle of himself that Paula drew. Kramer's Macinaw
peaches
arrive, which are only good for two weeks of the year. A publishing
company offers a
suite at the plaza to Elaine while she is interviewing with them. Jerry
has fleas in his
apartment from Newman, so his visiting parents stay in Elaine's suite
at the plaza and
treat themselves to every luxury. Kramer becomes intoxicated with the
pesticides in
Jerry's apartment and loses his sense of taste and can't taste the
peaches. George
finds out that looks aren't important to Paula so he drapes himself
in velvet.
THE FUSILLI JERRY -- Episode 101 (04/27/95)
Jerry learns that Elaine's new boyfriend, David Puddy, who also happens
to be Jerry's
mechanic, is doing Jerry's sex 'move' on Elaine in bed. George learns
Jerry's move and takes
notes on his hand before performing it on Nancy. Kramer receives someone
else's' license
plates in a mix-up at the DMV and his new plates now say 'assman'.
Kramer makes a statue of
Jerry out of fusilli pasta and begins a ravioli George. Kramer drives
Estelle home after she gets
and eye job and stops short and grabs her breast. Frank finds out Kramer
squeezed Estelle
and confronts him - then Frank falls down on top of the fusilli Jerry
and must go to the
proctologist.
THE DIPLOMAT -- Episode 102 (05/04/95)
Jerry plans to rendezvous with a supermodel in the Diplomat's Club
at the airport when he
returns from a gig and she has a fourteen hour lay over. Elaine plans
to quit her job with Mr.
Pitt but changes her mind when Mr. Pitt decides to include her in his
will. Mr. Pitt goes to the
pharmacy for cold medicine and mistakes Jerry for a and asks for recommendations,
which Jerry does.
The medicine proves to be a dangerous combination with Mr. Pitt's heart
medicine,
and Mr. Pitt's estate lawyer suspects Elaine for trying to kill Mr.
Pitt. Kramer uses Jerry's membership card to hand out at the Diplomat's
Club and meets Earl
a Texas entrepreneur. Kramer pitches his new line of clothes to Earl,
Hide-Your-Ass clothing.
George is concerned with his future during the Yankee reorganization,
so he decides to
become chummy with Mr. Morgan but offends him by commenting on his
likeness to Sugar
Ray Leonard. Mr. Morgan believes that George has a racial bias so George
desperately
seeks out black friends.
THE FACE PAINTER -- Episode 103 (05/11/95)
Jerry and Elaine get great tickets for the Rangers/Devils playoff game
from Alex Berg and
bring Kramer and David Puddy, Elaine's boyfriend. David embarrasses
everyone by painting
his face like a devil and screaming in support of his team. David screams
in the street in
victory and ends up face to face with Father Hernandez who thinks he
saw the devil. George
tells his girlfriend, Siena, that he loves her and she replies with
'I'm hungry'. Kramer visits the
zoo and gets into a fight with a banana peel and a chimpanzee. This
fight puts Barry, the
chimp, into depression and the zoo officials want Kramer to apologize
to the chimp which
Kramer reluctantly does. George discovers that Siena has bad hearing
in one ear so he tries
to tell her he loves her again - she tells him she heard him the first
time. Again, Alex gives Jerry
and Kramer playoff tickets but assures them there is a catch... Jerry
and Kramer join David
Puddy and spell d-e-v-i-l-s- with paint on their chests.
THE UNDERSTUDY -- Episode 104 (05/18/95)
Jerry's date, Gennice is Bette Midler's understudy for 'Rochelle, Rochelle,
the Musical.'
Gennice cries when she watches 'Beaches' and when she drops her hot
dog and Jerry neglects to console her. Jerry and George play softball against
'Rochelle, Rochelle' and George slides in to Bette Midler at home plate
sidelining Bette on opening night. Jerry and George are blamed for planning
this attack
on Bette in order to give Gennice her break on Broadway. Jerry is called
'Gilooly'
by the people of New York. Kramer has an enormous crush on Bette Midler
and rushes to her side to take care of her and even makes her a 'macaroni
Midler.' Elaine suspects that the Korean manicurists are
laughing at her in Korean and brings Frank Costanza with her to translate.
Elaine meets J.
Peterman, owner of J. Peterman catalog, on the street where he notices
the detail of her
THE ENGANGEMENT -- Episode 105 (09/21/95)
After bad dates and break-ups, George and Jerry decide to 'grow-up',
be men and learn to
commit to a relationship. George calls Susan, the NBC executive he
once dated, and
proposes marriage - and she accepts. (Susan became a lesbian but 'it
didn't take.') Jerry
backs out on this agreement and George quickly discovers how his bachelor
life is drastically
changing. George learns how the friendly boys from Texas talk - calling
each other 'sonabitches' and
'bastards' and he and Jean-Paul adapt this new casual greeting which
subsequently gets
them in trouble. Jerry convinces Jean-Paul to stay at his apartment
to ensure an early wake-up
call but Kramer's new hot tub blows a fuse in the building and the
alarm clock never goes off.
THE SOUP NAZI -- Episode 110 (11/02/95)
Jerry takes the gang to get great soup at a soup stand but warns them
of the 'Soup Nazi'
behind the counter. Jerry explains that you must order your soup a
certain way, make no small
talk and take two steps to your left. If you order incorrectly, he
gets very angry and banishes you
from his soup stand. Jerry and his new girlfriend, Sheila, annoy everyone
with their public
displays of affection. George tries to out do Jerry in the affection
game with Susan, and she
really likes it. Elaine can't move her new armoire into her apartment
on Sundays, so she asks
Kramer to guard it outside her apartment. While Kramer is on watch,
two flamboyant robbers,
Bob and Ray, casually steal Elaine's new armoire. The Soup Nazi gives
an armoire to Kramer
who in turn gives it to Elaine. Inside this armoire are all of the
Soup Nazi's soup recipes.
THE SECRET CODE -- Episode 111 (11/09/95)
George refuses to tell anyone his ATM code, especially Susan.
Jerry is hired to do some TV spots for Leapin' Learry's Appliance Warehouse
but offends Leapin' Larry when his leg falls asleep and he limps out
of his office, mocking Leapin'
Larry's prosthetic leg. Elaine is offended by a friend, Fred,
who doesn't remember meeting her at a party. Fred remembers every detail
of the party except his conversation with Elaine.
Kramer buys a police scanner and is determined to help the fire and
police department take
the short cuts which only he knows. Jerry, Elaine and George were scheduled
to have dinner
with Elaine's boss, J. Peterman, but Jerry and Elaine bailed out leaving
George to dine with J.
Peterman alone. After dinner, J. Peterman must rush to his dying mother's
bedside and brings
George with him. While George is sitting with Momma Peterman,
he expresses his concerns
of revealing his ATM code and tells her that the code is "bosco". Momma
Peterman screams
'bosco' as she breathes her last breath leaving J. Peterman with many
questions about bosco.
After Jerry apologizes to Leapin' Larry, his leg falls asleep again
kicking over a can of paint
thinner which ignites some exposed wiring. The store catches on fire
and the fire department
rushes to the scene with Kramer trying to lead the way.
THE POOL GUY -- Episode 112 (11/16/95)
Jerry runs into the pool guy from his new health club, Ramon, at the
movies and Ramon won't
leave him alone. Ramon tells everyone at the club that they went out
together, stops bJerry's
apartment unannounced etc... Jerry tells Ramon that they are not friends
and Ramon is
offended believing Jerry won't be friends because Ramon is 'the pool
guy.' So Ramon starts
'harassing' Jerry at the club by leaving smelly clothes near his locker
and taking his towel
while he's swimming. Realizing that she has no female friends, Elaine
asks Susan to lunch.
They begin a friendship which angers George because it combines his
two separate worlds:
the Jerry, Kramer, Elaine world and the Susan world. Kramer's new phone
number is a digit
off of the movie line and he receives calls all day long for movie
information. Soon Kramer
becomes a live movie line operator giving movie information to callers,
including George and
Elaine.
THE SPONGE -- Episode 113 (12/07/95)
Elaine panics after learning that the 'Today Sponge' is discontinued.
She buys the last case
and becomes very selective of who is 'sponge-worthy.' Jerry starts
dating Lena, a very
charitable woman who is walking in the AIDS walk-a-thon and he thinks
she is too good for
him. After learning that Jerry changes the size of his jeans to 31
instead of 33, she breaks up
with him. Kramer walks in the AIDS walk-a-thon but refuses to wear
the red ribbon causing a
fight with armoire stealing Bob and Cedric. George learns that Susan
also uses the 'Today
Sponge,' and pleads with Elaine to spare one, which she does not!
THE GUM -- Episode 114 (12/14/95)
Kramer remodels the Alex Theater with the help of Lloyd Braun. Lloyd
Braun screwed up the
Dinkins campaign and had a nervous breakdown and spent time in an institution.
George
thinks that the cashier at Monks is short changing him and becomes
paranoid. Jerry
becomes obsessed with Lloyd Braun's Chinese gum and is determined to
get it. Elaine
believes that she is starting to swallow objects, such as a toy submarine
from the cereal box,
her antique button from her shirt and a fly.
THE RYE -- Episode 115 (01/04/96)
George's parents meet Susan's parents for the first time and they bring
special marble rye
bread for the dinner which her parents never offer with the dinner.
This offends the Costanzas,
so Frank Costanza sneaks the rye bread out of their house. Embarrassed
by this, George and
Jerry try to sneak the rye bread back into Susan's parents' house before
they notice it's
missing. Kramer over fills his car and apartment with groceries from
the Price Club and takes
over driving a friend's horse-drawn carriage. Kramer drives Susan's
parents around New York
in the horse-drawn carriage. Elaine's new boyfriend, John, plays a
jazz horn and is very
'spongeworthy' although he does not 'do everything' in bed.
THE CADDY -- Episode 116 (01/25/96)
George's car sits in the Yankee parking lot for days as he waits for
his auto club membership
to kick in to get a free locksmith to get his keys out. Steinbrenner
and Wilhelm notice George's
car is always at work and are convinced that he is working very long
hours. George and Susan
go to the re-built cabin, thinking that George's car is doing his work
for him. George panics
thinking that there might be flyers collecting on his car and asks
Jerry to go clean his car.
Kramer starts golfing with Stan the caddy, who believes that Kramer
could go pro. Elaine
meets up with an old friend, Sue Ellen, who never wears a bra, so Elaine
gives her a bra for
her birthday. Sue Ellen wears the bra as a shirt with a blazer and
causes Jerry and Kramer to
get into an accident in George's car, throwing out Kramer's shoulder.
Wilhelm spots George's
wrecked car with blood and cannot locate George so Steinbrenner tells
Estelle and Frank
that George is dead. Fearing that his golf career is over, Kramer retains
attorney Jack Chilies
to sue Sue Ellen. Jerry starts a relationship with Sue Ellen. Kramer's
case blows up when
Stan, the caddy, coaches Kramer and Jackie Chilies into having Sue
Ellen try on the bra for
the jury - and it doesn't fit.
THE SEVEN -- Episode 117 (02/01/96)
George wants to name his baby (when and if he has one) with Susan 'Seven',
Mickey Mantle's
number. Susan tells her pregnant cousin, Carrie and her husband Ken
of this name and they
decide to name their baby 'Seven'. Jerry starts dating Christie who
always wears the same
outfit when they go out. Jerry is determined to find out if they are
the same clothes or if she has
a closet full of the same outfit. Elaine buys a girl's stingray bike
at an antique store and injures
her neck carrying if off the wall. Kramer gets rid of Elaine's pain
with shiatsu and feels he
deserves the bike. Elaine refuses and Newman steps in as an impartial
negotiator to settle
their dispute and offer his judgment. Kramer begins to keep written
track of the food he eats
out of Jerry's refrigerator and promises to pay Jerry at the end of
each week.
THE CADILLAC -- Episode 118 (02/08/96)
Jerry visits his mom and dad, and buys his dad a new cadillac. Because
of the new car, the
condo association believes that Morty is stealing from their funds
and they try to impeach him
as president. Kramer is caught getting free cable and the cable guy
must come to his
apartment to shut it off. Kramer painfully remembers waiting for endless
hours for the cable
guy, who never showed up, and decides to make the cable guy wait as
well. George meets
Elaine's friend, Katy, who tells him that she knows Marisa Tomei and
that he is just her type.
George contemplates about being engaged and going out with Marisa Tomei
as he watches
'My Cousin Vinny' and 'Only You'. So George does go out with Marisa
Tomei, who thinks he is
charming.
Note: This episode an hour long!
THE SHOWER HEAD -- Episode 119 (02/15/96)
A new low flow shower head is installed in Jerry's apartment complex,
giving Jerry, Kramer
and Newman flat hair and forcing them to turn to black market turbo
shower heads. Helen
and Morty Seinfeld are staying with Uncle Leo after being kicked out
of their Florida condo
complex. Uncle Leo is staying with his girlfriend, Lydia in order to
give the Seinfelds more
room. During an appearance on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno', Jerry
insults Uncle Leo
which makes Lydia laugh and angers Uncle Leo. Uncle Leo moves back
to his apartment
forcing the Seinfelds to move in with Jerry. Elaine is asked to accompany
J. Peterman to
Ato 'knock off' the Masai Bushman's sandals. Elaine is unable to go
because she tests
positive for opium in her urine test, she asks Jerry's mother, Helen
to give her a urine sample
to test. George tries to convince his parents, Frank and Estelle Costanza
to move to Boca,
where the Seinfelds live. The Seinfelds move back to Florida because
they can't take the low
flow shower heads.
THE DOLL -- Episode 120 (02/22/96)
Chaos ensues when Susan's former college roommate wants to be Jerry's
new best friend
and she continuously interferes with his life. Meanwhile, when Susan
displays her doll
collection in their apartment, George is disturbed to find that one
doll bears an uncanny
resemblance to his mother. Also, Kramer becomes hooked on playing pool
when George's
father turns George's old bedroom into a billiard room.
THE FRIAR'S CLUB -- Episode 121 (3/7/96)
Due to a screw up at the wedding hall, George and Susan's wedding has
been pushed to
June. George and Susan double date with Susan's best friend, Hallie
and Jerry. Jerry is
interested in joining the Friars Club and Pat Cooper is sponsoring
him for membership. Jerry
loses the crested Friar's blazer which was on loan to him. J. Peterman
gives Elaine extra work
because her new co-worker, Bob, cannot hear very well and cannot understand
the
assignments. Elaine is convinced that Bob wears a fake hearing aid
in order to get out of
doing any work. Kramer decides to sleep twenty minutes every three
hours like Leonardo Da
Vinci, in order to be awake 2 and a half extra days each week. Kramer
falls asleep on his
mysterious girlfriend, Connie, leading her to believe she killed him
and she dumps his body in
the river.
THE WIGMASTER -- Episode 122 (04/04/96)
Jerry reluctantly buys an expensive crested blazer from a salesman,
Craig, whom Elaine likes.
Elaine startsdating Craig and he offers to buy her a dress with his
discount. Jerry thinks Craig
is offering his 'discount' to Elaine for 'something' in return. Susan's
friend, the wig master for
"Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", is staying with George
and Susan for
two weeks. George and Kramer start parking their cars at an inexpensive
garage. George
becomes suspicious after he finds a condom and lipstick in his car
and notices a number of
prostitutes hanging out near the garage. Kramer borrows the 'Dreamcoat'
from Charmaine,
the customer, for a day and is arrested for pimping outside the parking
garage. George tries to
convince Susan that he is an untrustworthy fiancee and that she should
break-up with him.
THE CALZONE -- Episode 123 (04/25/96)
Jerry starts dating Nicki, who is a beautiful woman who always gets
her way. Men become
dumbfounded when they see her and she is able to get impossible movie
tickets and talk the
police out of giving Jerry a speeding ticket. George offers Steinbrenner
a bite of his calzone
and Steinbrenner becomes obsessed with them and wants George to bring
him calzones,
from Paisano's, every day at lunch. George is concerned that the counter
guy at Paisano's
never notices that he puts a tip in the tip jar so he decides to wave
a hefty five dollar tip to
ensure that he notices it. The counter guy is distracted and George
decides to retrieve the tip
to try again, only to get caught with his hand in the tip jar. Kramer
only wears warm clothes
right out of the dryer. He runs out of quarters and is forced to cook
his clothes in Jerry's oven.
Elaine wins a bet with Todd Gack and he offers to buy her dinner. Todd
continues to ask
Elaine out but refuses to say they are dating. Elaine catches Todd
Gack on a date with Nicki
after Nicki wins a bet with him too.
THE BOTTLE DEPOSIT -- Episode 124 (05/02/96)
J. Peterman sends Elaine to an auction to buy JFK's gold clubs, which
she does and leaves in
Jerry's car. Jerry takes his car to an eccentric mechanic, Tony, who
thinks Jerry is improperly
caring for his car, so he takes it away from him. Newman and Kramer
decide to go to
Michigan in Newman's mail truck to cash in bottles for the larger deposit.
They spot Jerry's
mechanic and a chase ensues. Kramer tosses the bottles and Newman out
of the truck to
gain speed. The mechanic tosses the golf clubs at Kramer. George is
following Mr. Wilhelm
down the hall discussing business. When Wilhelm enters the men's room,
George stays
outside but Wilhelm thinks he followed him in. When Wilhelm finishes
the conversation with
'that's your assignment' George does not know whether to ask Wilhelm
to repeat it or not.
Steinbrenner believes that George completed this assignment when it
appears on his desk.
After reading this report, Steinbrenner thinks that George has gone
crazy. George is
dumbfounded because he did not do the report and is escorted out of
Steinbrenner's office by
two orderlies.
Note: This episode is one hour.
THE WAIT OUT -- Episode 125 (05/09/96)
Jerry and Elaine have been waiting out the marriage of their friends,
Beth and David, in order
to move in on them. Beth and David split up over an insensitive comment
by George. Jerry and
Elaine come up with a plan to start dating Beth and David. Jerry remembers
when Kramer
used to wear jeans, when he had a different body. Determined to disprove
Jerry, Kramer buys
a pair of slim fit jeans which artoo tight and he can't take them off.
Kramer also helps Mickey
get into an acting studio. George is determined to get Beth and David
back together again,
despite Jerry and Elaine's happiness. Mrs. Zanfino asks Kramer to baby-sit
Joey. Kramer
enters Joey's bedroom as he is sleeping and Joey mistakes him for Frankenstein
because of
the way Kramer is walking in his tight jeans. Joey takes off screaming
and Kramer is taken in
to custody as Joey calls him a monster.
THE INVITATIONS -- Episode 126 (05/16/96)
George starts getting 'cold feet' about his upcoming wedding to Susan
as they select their
wedding invitations. Jerry fears being single forever and coincidentally
meets the girl of his
dreams, Jeannie Steinman. She is just like him in many ways (sense
of humor and obsession
with cereal) and they get engaged. Elaine is upset about not being
in the wedding and sitting
at the single, loser's table. George Steinbrenner does not want to
sit at the singles table either
and asks Elaine to be his date. Elaine starts taking diet pills to
lose weight for the wedding. A
bank offers $100.00 to any customer who is not greeted with a 'hello'
and Kramer demands
his money after the teller greets him with a 'hey.' Susan passes out
and dies after licking the
wedding invitation envelopes, which are cheap and had toxic glue. Jerry
realizes that he does
not want to be engaged to Jeannie because she is too much like himself.
THE FOUNDATION -- Episode 127 (09/19/96)
The episode begins at Susan's grave, where Jerry inadvertently makes
a comment inspiring
her parents to start a foundation in her name. George is named to the
trustee board of the
foundation where he realizes he is now spending more time thinking
about her than he did
when she was alive. Jerry will also announce that he and Jeannie have
called off their
engagement in a mutual breakup. Kramer takes up karate and is advancing
quickly. Jerry's
suspicious of Kramer's rapid advancement, investigates, and discovers
Kramer is actually
taking a class for kids. Elaine is left in charge of the J. Peterman
catalog as Mr. Peterman
THE SOUL MATE -- Episode 128 (09/26/96)
Kramer falls in love with a girl, Pam, who Jerry is currently dating.
Kramer realizes this is the
first time he has ever really been in love and becomes tongue-tied
around the girl. Kramer
turns to Newman for advice as Newman becomes 'Cyrano' to Kramer, feeding
him lines from
behind a bookshelf so Kramer can woo the girl. George believes that
Wyck, the chairman of
the foundation, thinks George killed Susan and George sets up an elaborate
plan to tape the
board meetings after he leaves. Elaine decides she does not want children
and meets a man,
Fred, who does not want children also; only to learn he will say and
do anything to please
Elaine. Fred decides to get a vasectomy to make Elaine happy.
Note: Elaine chops her hair short!
THE BIZARRO JERRY -- Episode 129 (10/03/96)
Elaine breaks up with Kevin but he still wants to hang out as friends.
George leads Kramer to
the 'best' bathroom in town, which is in an investment office, and
as he leaves the bathroom
he is caught in a crowd of workers and accidentally attends a meeting
in the conference
room. Kramer continues to work at the investment office, working long
hours, leaving Jerry
feeling very alone. Jerry goes out with Elaine's pretty friend, Gillian,
and discovers she has
huge 'man hands.' George shows a picture of Gillian, to a beautiful
receptionist, Amanda, and
tells her that Gillian is his deceased fiancé.
Gillian's
beauty makes George more attractive to
Amanda and she takes him out to a hot night spot full of beautiful
models. Elaine meets
Kevin's friends, Gene and Feldman, who are really nice, generous and
love to read, the exact
opposite of George and Kramer. Elaine has entered into the bizarro
world of Jerry, George
and Kramer.
THE LITTLE KICKS -- Episode 130 (10/10/96)
Elaine throws a party at J. Peterman to reward them for good work and
leads the crowd in a
Dance. When she starts to dance, her staff loses complete respect for
her. George meets
Elaine's employee, Anna, at Elaine's party, and begins dating her.
Elaine thinks that George is
the cause of her staff losing respect and tells Anna that George is
a bad seed which makes
Anna more attracted to him. Jerry, Kramer and Kramer's friend Brody,
get tickets to a sneak
preview of 'Death Blow' and Brody films the movie with a camcorder
to bootleg the tape. Brody
gets sick in the movie and forces Jerry, at gun point, to continue
taping the movie for him. Jerry
does such a good job that Brody asks him to tape another sneak preview.
Jerry tells Elaine
that her dancing is the cause of problems at work so Elaine tells Anna
that George is not a
bad seed, which causes Anna to lose interest in George. George decides
to add more danger
in his life by bootlegging a sneak preview and gets caught by the police.
Elaine's 'dance' is
captured on one of the bootlegs and the entire city begins mocking
Elaine's dance. (the
'mock-Elaina'?)
THE PACKAGE -- Episode 131 (10/17/96)
Elaine goes to the doctor for a rash problem and learns that her chart
indicates that she is
'difficult.' Elaine's chart follows her from doctor to doctor. Kramer
tries to cash in on mail
insurance for Jerry by breaking Jerry's old stereo and mailing it to
him and blaming the postal
service. Not knowing the contents of the package, Jerry refuses to
open the package. The
post man runs into Uncle Leo and he signs for Jerry's package and opens
the package while
on the phone with Jerry and Jerry hears an explosion. Uncle Leo put
a can of oven cleaner too
close to the pilot light and Uncle Leo's mustache and eyebrows are
singed off. After picking
up photos at a photo lab, George has a semi-nude photof a beautiful
woman in his pictures
and mistakenly thinks that the photo is that of the store clerk, Sheila
and that Sheila is flirting
with him. Kramer takes provocative pictures of George so that Sheila
can develop them.
Newman conducts a full investigation of Jerry's mail fraud.
THE FATIGUES -- Episode 132 (10/31/96)
Elaine becomes scared of her mailroom employee, Eddie Sherman, and
instead of firing him,
she promotes him to copywriter at J. Peterman. Eddie dresses in fatigues
everyday and
constantly writes about death and doom. Jerry meets his girlfriend,
Abby's mentor, Cynthia,
and learns that Cynthia is dating Kenny Bania. Abby gets into a fight
with Cynthia over Bania's
horrible stand-up act and they are no longer mentor-protege. George
must give a speech on
'risk management' to the company, but has difficulty reading the textbook.
George becomes
Abby's new mentor and he asks her to read the book and do a report
on 'risk management'.
Jerry feels sorry for Bania and offers to help him with his stand-up
act, especially the Ovaltine
bit. Kramer is running a Jewish singles night at the Knights of Columbus
for almost 200
people and has difficulty cooking 'delicious Jewish delicacies.' Kramer
turns to Frank
Costanza for help. Frank must overcome the terrible 'incident' which
occurred when he was a
cook in the Korean war. Abby and Jerry get their notes mixed up and
Bania does a bit on risk
management and George delivers a speech on Ovaltine.
THE CHECKS -- Episode 133 (11/07/96)
Jerry cramps his hand signing hundreds of royalty checks, each worth
12 cents, for a one
second clip of him in the opening credits of a Japanese comedy show.
Elaine starts dating
Brett, a manufacturer of expensive Carl Farbman furniture. Brett gives
Kramer a set of very
deep Farbman cabinets. Kramer meets 3 Japanese tourists and lets them
sleep in his
Farbman cabinets because they are running out of money. George
gets his carpets cleaned
by known religious cult recruiters, Sunshine Carpet Cleaners, and is
upset when they don't try
to recruit him but recruit Mr. Wilhelm. George and Kramer try to sell
Jerry's pilot to Japanese
television.
THE CHICKEN ROASTER -- Episode 134 (11/14/96)
Jerry runs into an old classmate, Seth, and convinces him to skip a
meeting and catch up
over lunch. Seth gets fired because he misses the meeting and gets
a job at Kenny Rogers
Roasters. Kramer cannot sleep because the new red Kenny Rogers Roasters
sign shines
brightly in his window. Because Jerry is a sound sleeper, Jerry and
Kramer switch apartments
until Kramer figures out a way to get rid of Kenny Rogers Roasters.
Newman and Kramer fall
in love with the chicken at Kenny Rogers Roasters, which helps keep
them in business.
Elaine is caught charging large personal items to the Peterman account
and must produce
an expensive sable hat that she charged for George. George leaves his
hat at his date
Heather's house in order to call her to get a second date. Elaine travels
to Burmese to find J.
Peterman so he can sign off on the expensive hat.
THE ABSTINENCE -- Episode 135 (11/21/96)
Elaine and George discover that abstinence from sex can have different
side effects. For
instance, when George's new girlfriend says she won't have sex with
him, George's mental
faculties are suddenly sharpened. Conversely, abstinence makes Elaine
"a moron."
Meanwhile, Kramer and Jerry get into it when Jerry gets bumped from
Career Day at his old
junior high. Kramer, of course, suggest the worst. Later, Kramer is
reunited with attorney
Jackie Chiles in a lawsuit against the tobacco companies when his face
is ruined after setting
up a smoking lounge in his apartment. "Look away, I'm hideous!" Kramer
says to Jerry.
THE ANDREA DORIA -- Episode 136 (12/19/96)
George and fellow tenant, Clarence Eldridge must convince the tenant's
association that he is
more worthy of the bigger newly vacated apartment. Mr. Eldridge is
receiving more sympathy
as he is a survivor of the Andrea Doria until George begins to tell
his life story concluding with
Susan's tragic death. Jerry helps Newman deliver 8 bags of mail in
order for Newman to get
transferred to Hawaii and be out of Jerry's life forever. Kramer develops
a terrible cough which
resembles a cough of a dog, Smuckers. Kramer takes Smuckers to the
vet and gets the dog
some medicine, which Kramer immediately takes. Kramer develops dog-like
characteristics,
inaudible speech, biting etc.... Elaine begins dating Alan, who has
a reputation of being
extremely mean to his ex-girlfriends, driving them to a point of physically
hurting him. Elaine
doesn't believe this until he tells her she has a big head.
THE LITTLE JERRY -- Episode 137 (01/09/97)
Kramer buys a chicken (which is actually a rooster) in order to have
farm fresh eggs, and
names him 'little Jerry Seinfeld.' Jerry bounces a check at the Bodega
and the owner,
Marcelino, hangs it in the window for all to see. Marcelino agrees
to take the check out of the
window if Kramer allows little Jerry Seinfeld to fight in a cockfight
in the back of his store.
George visits the women's prison which has received a large fund from
the foundation and
begins a relationship with an inmate, Celia. This relationship seems
to be perfect because he
till has his nights free, no opportunity for 'pop-ins', etc... Elaine
discovers that her new bald
boyfriend, Kurt, actually has a wonderful head of hair and he begins
to grow it for her. As Kurt's
hair grows in, he and Elaine realize that he is really balding and
Kurt begins to take on a 'bald
man' personality. Helen and Morty Seinfeld get word from Uncle Leo
that Jerry bounced a
check at the Bodega.
THE MONEY -- Episode 138 (01/16/97)
Helen and Morty Seinfeld visit Jerry and tell him they sold the Cadillac
to Jack Klompus
because they think Jerry needs money after he bounced a check at the
Bodega. Jerry secretly
flies to Florida to buy back the cadillac from Jack Klompus but Jack
has an accident driving it
into the swamp. Kramer has difficulty falling asleep with his new girlfriend,
Emily, and
proposes that after having sex with one another they go to their respective
homes. Kramer
thinks that someone is trying to break into his apartment and moves
into Estelle and Frank
Costanza's house. George realizes that his parents, Estelle and Frank
have saved a lot of
money and he must decide what his parents should do with their money
- 1) spend the money
and move to Del Boca Vista and free George of his misery or 2)stay
in New York and torment
George but leave their money to him. Kramer convinces the Costanza's
to start spending their
money and move to Florida. Morty Seinfeld thinks he should take another
job to help Jerry's
financial condition and Elaine gets him a job at J. Peterman.
THE COMEBACK -- Episode 139 (1/30/97)
Jerry buys an expensive tennis racquet recommended from the pro-shop
guy, Milos, only later
to discover that Milos is a terrible tennis player. Milos is concerned
that Jerry will tell people
about his poor tennis skiso he offers his beautiful wife, Patty to
him. George stuffs his face
with shrimp during a meeting and Reilly makes a joke of him eating
all the shrimp in the
ocean. George cannot think of a quick comeback as the others laugh
at him. George finally
thinks of a comeback and gets ready to use it on Reilly but Reilly
has taken a new job in Ohio.
George flies to Ohio to use his comeback and it backfires. Kramer is
heart-broken after
watching the woman go into a coma in 'the other side of midnight' and
decides to have an
attorney write up an agreement that in the event that Kramer is in
a coma, Elaine must pull the
plug. After watching the end of the movie when the lady comes out of
the coma, Kramer
changes his mind and is frantic to get to the attorney to change his
agreement, but is fearful
he will get into an accident before he can change it. Elaine rents
movies from the 'employee's
pick' section and has grown fond of 'Vincent's picks.' Vincent calls
her at home and she feels
a connection with him even though she has never seen him. Elaine rents
another employee's
pick, offending Vincent, and when she goes to him and apologizes, she
learns that he is a 15
year old boy.
THE VAN BUREN BOYS -- Episode 140 (02/06/97)
Jerry is dating the perfect girl, Ellen, who is beautiful, smart and
funny - but no one likes her
including George and Kramer. Curious for someone else's opinion, Jerry
flies his parents,
Helen and Morty Seinfeld in to meet Ellen. George is asked to interview
candidates for the first
Susan Ross foundation scholarship and selects a young boy, Steven Koren
who has a 2.0
g.p.a. and aspirations of being an architect. J. Peterman assigns Elaine
to ghost write his
autobiography, but after Elaine realizes that Peterman lives a rather
boring private life, they
agree to buy Kramer's life stories from him. After Kramer sells all
his stories, he has nothing to
talk about, so he buys Newman's footbath story for $8.00. Kramer runs
into trouble with the
Van Buren Boys at a pizza place but coincidentally flashes them their
secret sign leading them
to believe he was a Van Buren Boy.
THE SUSIE -- Episode 141 (2/13/97)
A nice older co-worker, Peggy, thinks Elaine's name is 'Susie' and
Elaine feels sorry for her so
she does not correct her. They get into a fight at work and Elaine
realizes that she must get rid
of Susie, so she pretends that Susie committed suicide. Jerry and Kramer
run into Mike Moffet
who has started a bookie business and Kramer places a bet with Mike
with Jerry's money.
The bet pays off but Mike can't pay Jerry yet. Jerry accidentally closes
his trunk on Mike's
hands, breaking his fingers, and Mike accidentally gets pushed into
Jerry's trunk leading Mike
to believe that Jerry will kill him if he doesn't come up with the
money. George avoids his
girlfriend, Allison, to prevent her from breaking up with him until
after they attend the big
Yankee ball. Allison offers Kramer unlimited Knicks tickets if he breaks
up with George for her.
Elaine and J. Peterman speak at 'Susie's' memorial service.
THE POTHOLE -- Episode 142 (02/20/97)
Jerry accidentally drops his girlfriend, Jenna's, toothbrush into the
toilet and she unknowingly
uses it. Jerry refuses to kiss her and then Jenna drops something of
Jerrys into the toilet, but
won't tell him what she dropped. George loses his keys in a pothole
which is covered up and
he must jack hammer them out. Kramer adopts a highway and decides to
widen the lanes in
his mile. Elaine is unable to order a delicious fish dish from 'the
cina panda' because she is
out of their delivery range, so she temporarily sets up 'house'
in a janitor closet across the
street for her deliveries.
THE ENGLISH PATIENT -- Episode 143 (03/13/97)
Elaine goes with Blaine to see 'The English Patient' and she hates
it. Blaine and Elaine's
friends turn on her because she doesn't love 'The English Patient.'
Jerry goes to Florida to
help his parents, Morty and Helen move back to Del Boca Vista. Kramer
asks Jerry to bring
him back some cubans and Jerry is surprised when three Cubmen arrive
to travel with
Jerry back to New York. Kramer has recruited Cuban men to roll cigars
for cigar investors.
Jerry doesn't believe that 80 year old Izzy Mandelbaum can lift more
than him and challenges
him in Mory's gym. Izzy throws his back out. Izzy Jr., and Izzy Sr.
Visit Izzy and challenge Jerry to a lifting contest and they also throw
their backs out. with all the Mandelbaums laid up, their
magic pan restaurant might shut down until Kramer' Cubans, who are
really Dominicans, take
over rolling the crepes at the restaurant. George is mistaken for beautiful
Danielle's
boyfriend,
Neil, and George is determined to meet Neil and learn how someone who
looks like him
could get such a great girl. J. Peterman takes Elaine to see 'The English
Patient' and after she
confesses she hates it, Peterman punishes her by sending her to Tunisia
to live in a cave and
knock off 'English Patient' clothes for the catalog.
THE NAP -- Episode 144 (04/10/97)
Jerry hires a cabinet maker, Conrad, to re-model his kitchen cabinets.
George asks Conrad to
re-model his desk so he can sleep under it and take naps during the
day without being
missed. Kramer is getting squeezed out of valuable swimming time at
the pool and starts to
swim laps in the heavily polluted east river. Elaine's date, Hal, sends
her a new mattress to
help support her back but Elaine misunderstands the gift and gives
it to Kramer. After Hal
charms Elaine, she asks Kramer to return the mattress and it stinks
like the East River.
George gets stuck under the desk when Steinbrenner sits in his office,
so he asks Jerry to call
in a bomb threat so he can escape. Jerry, posing as the terrorist bomber,
demands cup
holders and actual player's hats for all of the fans.
THE YADA YADA -- Episode 145 (04/24/97)
Jerry is offended when his dentist Tim Whatley converts to Judaism
so he can tell Jewish
jokes and tells father Curtis on him. George's date, Marcy, constantly
uses 'yada, yada, yada'
in place of bad news and George and Elaine adopt this phrase for themselves
until George
starts questioning what Marcy's 'yada, yada, yada' really means. Kramer
and Mickey meet
Julie and Karen at the Gap and go on a double date with them but don't
know which girl likes
who. Elaine is asked to speak to the adoption agent, Brian, on behalf
of Beth and Arnie in their
search for adoption. Elaine tells a story of when Arnie yelled at her
at the movies and they are
refused adoption. Arnie and Beth break up and Jerry tries to console
Beth. Karen and Mickey
get married.
THE MILLENNIUM -- Episode 146 (05/01/97)
Jerry woos his girlfriend, Valerie, in order to get a higher speed
dial position on her phone.
Jerry becomes number one on Valerie's speed dial bumping her step-mother,
Mrs. Hamilton
and upsetting her. Kramer plans his New Year's Eve party for 1999,
but learns that Newman
has already invited everyone to his party. The Mets are offering a
scouting job to George, only
he must get fired to get out of his contract. George tries a number
of stunts to get fired,
including streaking across the field during a game, but Steinbrenner
won't fire him. Elaine is
treated rudely at Putamayo Clothing Store, so she purchases a lot of
Mayan Clothing at
another store, Cinco De Mayo, only to learn that the two are both owned
by Gladys Mayo.
Kramer helps Elaine ruin Glady's business by taking out the desiccant
packets in the clothing,
so that the clothes will be dried out in 5 years. Kramer hosts a 1999
New Year's Eve party at
Monk's with the gang.
THE MUFFIN TOPS -- Episode 147 (05/08/97)
Jerry shaves his chest to impress his girlfriend, Alex, who likes Mexican
hairless dogs. Elaine
tells Mr. Lipman that she likes the tops of muffins and wishes she
could just buy the tops and
Lipman steals her idea and opens a muffin top store. Kramer feels cheated
when J.
Peterman's autobiography is released because he sold his life stories
to Peterman for the
book. To retaliate, Kramer starts the 'Peterman Reality Tour' and for
a fee he takes people on
a bus tour of threal man behind J. Peterman. Stops along the tour include
his bedroom
window, the coffee shop and Newman's mail route. George is walking
with a map and is
mistaken for a tourist by a beautiful tourist guide, Mary Anne. George
tells Mary Anne he works
for Tyson Chicken in Arkansas in order to spend more time with her.
Mary Anne eventually
tells George she does not want to start a long distance relationship
so George tells her he is
moving to New York. Streinbrenner thinks George is moonlighting for
Tyson Chicken and fires
him.
THE SUMMER OF GEORGE -- Episode 148 (05/15/97)
Jerry is surprised to learn that his new girlfriend, Lanette, is living
with another guy, Lyle. Jerry
realizes that Lanette is high maintenance and she needs Lyle to keep
up with her, so when
Lanette breaks up with Lyle, Jerry hires George to help keep him on
the busy schedule. After
George is fired from the Yankees he receives a 3 month severance pay
which allows him to
start the summer doing nothing but watching TV in his new recliner.
Kramer is a seat filler at
the Tony Awards and when the best musical, 'scarsdale surprise,' wins,
he is brought on stage
with the producers seated in his row. Kramer goes on to the press area
to answer questions
and takes home a Tony. as a 'new' producer, Kramer must fire the star
of the musical, Raquel
Welch. Elaine criticizes her new co-worker, Sam, because she doesn't
move her arms when
she walks and the co-workers call her catty. Elaine takes Sam to lunch
to tell her to move her
arms and Sam gets angry and begins leaving threats on her answering
machine. George
buys expensive glossy invitations for Lanette's party and slips and
falls on one.
THE BUTTER SHAVE -- Episode 149 (09/25/97)
Jerry performs at a comedy club ahead of Kenny Bania (Stephen Hytner)and
Bania really
scores. Jerry is convinced that Bania is benefiting from always being
in a good time slot
behind Jerry. Kramer begins shaving with butter because of the smooth
shave and soon
bakes himself in the sun with butter all over his body. Newman (Wayne
Knight) gets very
hungry while smelling Kramer's new buttery aroma and imagines Kramer
is a basted turkey.
George gets a new job because his boss thinks that George is handicapped,
even though he
is on his way to recovery. George likes his new big office and big
bathroom so he goes along
with the lie. Elaine takes a month long vacation overseas with David
Puddy (Patrick
Warburton), the face painting mechanic. At the end of the vacation
Elaine and David realize
they hate each other but circumstances keep them together.
THE VOICE -- Episode 150 (10/02/97)
Jerry imagines that his new girlfriend Claire's belly button speaks
to him while she is sleeping
in a funny voice. Kramer hires an NYU intern, Glenn, to help him with
his duties, scheduling
lunches, answering phone calls and taking care of mail. George's new
boss at Play now
realizes that he is not handicapped and offers George a termination
settlement. George does
not take this settlement and vows to make his boss' life miserable.
Elaine bets with Jerry that
she will not get back together with David Puddy and she loses over
and over again.
THE SERENITY NOW -- Episode 151 (10/09/97)
Jerry's girlfriend, Patty, (Lori Loughlin) thinks that Jerry can never
get mad, so challenges him
to show his emotions and get mad when he wants. Jerry takes it too
far and yells at Patty until
she breaks up with him, sending him into a deep depression. George
works for his dad, Frank
Costanza (Jerry Stiller),in the garage, helping Frank and Lloyd Braun
(Matt Mccoy) sell
computers. Elaine attends Mr. Lipman's (Richard Fancy) son's Bar Mitzvah
and Adam Lipman
(Ross Malinger) becomes extremely attracted to Elaine. Elaine realizes
she is becoming a
real shiksa in the eyes of many Jewish men. Kramer installs Frank's
old screen door onto his
apartment door for a more homey, country feeling, but the neighborhood
kids start vandalizing
his home with eggs, shaving cream and toilet paper.
THE BLOOD -- Episode 152 (10/16/97)
Kramer decides to draw and store his blood in case of an emergency.
Jerry's parents, Helen
and Morty, think Jerry is gaining weight and hire Izzy Mandelbaum to
train him. George tries to
combine having sex with Tara and eating and watching TV without getting
caught. Elaine is
being groomed by her friend Vivian to become the surrogate mom to her
little son, Jimmy, if
Vivian should die.
THE JUNK MAIL -- Episode 153 (10/30/97)
Jerry's old friend Frankie arranges for Jerry to receive a free car
for doing a show for the Saab
dealer. Jerry thinks he's getting a Saab but Frankie trades it for
a van. George's parents, Frank
and Estelle, are sick of George and are trying desperately to ditch
him in exchange for some
'romantic' time alone. George tries to get his parents attention by
dating his cousin, Rhisa.
Elaine thinks she is falling in love with Jack because she hears horns
and feels magic when
she sees him. Jerry realizes that Elaine is falling for him because
Jack used to be the Mr. Wiz
guy on television, wearing prince-like costumes and selling appliances.
Kramer decides to
take on the post office to get rid of all the junk mail.
THE MERV GRIFFIN SHOW -- Episode 154 (11/06/97)
Kramer thinks he found Merv Griffin's old furniture in a dumpster and
takes it home and sets it
up in his apartment and acts out the Merv Griffin show with Jerry and
the gang with Newman
as his sidekick. Jerry's girlfriend, Celia, has a great collection
of old classic toys and Celia
won't let him play with them. Jerry tries to get Celia sleepy by feeding
her wine and turkey so
he can play with her toys. George accidentally hits and kills a pigeon
while driving with his
girlfriend Miranda and Miranda thinks he is an animal killer. George
tries to miss another
pigeon and accidentally hits and injures a squirrel and Miranda insists
that he pay for
extensive medical bills to save the squirrel. Elaine's new co-worker,
Lou, is trying to sidle his
way to the top at J. Peterman and Elaine tries to beat him at his own
game.
THE SLICER -- Episode 155 (11/13/97)
Jerry makes fun of his date, Sara, and her profession as a dermatologist,
until he develops a
strange rash and needs her profession services. Kramer buys a turbo
meat slicer to make
perfect sandwiches. Elaine's neighbor, who is on vacation, leaves her
alarm on and Kramer
helps out by blowing out the neighbor's circuit, only to shut off the
cat's automatic feeding
machine. now, Elaine is forced to listen to an angry cat until she
and Kramer feed it thinly
sliced meat under the door. George recognizes himself in the background
of his new boss'
family photo and realizes that he tormented this family eight years
ago at the beach. George
decides to steal the picture and airbrush himself out of the picture.
THE BETRAYAL -- Episode 156 (11/20/97)
Elaine gets invited to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding to Pinter in India
and she goes with Jerry,
George and George's girlfriend, Nina just to spite Sue Ellen. While
in India, Elaine reveals to
George that Jerry slept with Nina a while ago. Also in India, Elaine
realizes that she slept with
the groom Pinter (she knew him as Peter). Kramer thinks that the hot
dog vender, FDR,
wishes for Kramer to rot in hell for his birthday wish, so he searches
for ways to get his own
wishes and reverse the bad wish.
THE APOLOGY -- Episode 157 (12/11/97)
Jerry's girlfriend, Melissa, always likes to hang around the apartment
naked and although
Jerry likes it at first it begins to lose it's appeal quickly. Kramer
realizes that he is losing alot of
valuable time taking 1 hour showers and decides to study how other
men take 10 minute
showers. George is waiting for their old friend Jason Hanke to apologize
for an incident that
occurred 5 years ago as part of his 12 step AA program. Jason apologizes
to everyone else but
George. Elaine's co-worker, Peggy, is particularly germophobic in regards
to Elaine and
Elaine is offended so she decides to spread all her germs to Peggy,
causing Peggy to get very
ill.
THE STRIKE -- Episode 158 (12/18/97)
Jerry meets abeautiful woman, Gwen, at Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party
and sets a date with
her only to be greeted by a woman who looks like her evil twin sister.
Elaine gives her fake
phone number to a guy at the party who is wearing a denim vest, only
to find out that the phone
number belongs to an off track betting parlour. After being on strike
for 12 years from H&H
Bagels, Kramer goes back to work. George gives out phony 'human foundation'
donation
cards to all his co-workers at Kruger smoothing and receives great
real gifts from everyone
else. Frank Costanza revives his made up holiday 'Festivus' (his Latin
word for party)and hosts
a Festivus dinner at his house.
THE DEALERSHIP -- Episode 159 (01/08/98)
Jerry, George, and Kramer go to a Saab dealer to buy Jerry a new car.
Jerry hopes to get an
'insider' deal because Elaine's boyfriend Puddy is the salesman. George
gets in an ugly
confrontation with a service mechanic when he thinks the mechanic stole
his Twix bar.
Kramer goes for a long test drive with another salesman and tests the
car's gas gauge. Elaine
breaks up with Puddy and Jerry convinces them to get back together
so his good deal stays
intact.
THE REVERSE PEEPHOLE -- Episode 160 (01/15/98)
Jerry realizes the joys of not using a wallet and decides to carry
a purse instead. Elaine is
appalled when she learns that Puddy has a fur coat. George keeps a
mail order massage
chair (ordered on behalf of the gang as a gift). Kramer and Newman
install reverse peepholes
on their doors.
THE CARTOON -- Episode 161 (01/29/98)
Jerry's true feelings about Sally Weaver's (Kathy Griffin) acting abilities
become known when
Kramer spills the beans and Sally skewers Jerry in her one-woman show.
Kramer takes a vow
of silence when Jerry figuratively tells him to keep his mouth shut.
Elaine tries her hand at
illustrating a New Yorker cartoon and it turns out to be a ziggy rip-off.
George dates a woman
(Tracy Nelson) who resembles Jerry.
THE STRONGBOX -- Episode 162 (02/05/98)
George's girlfriend (Alex Kapp) refuses to agree to let him break up
with her, so he tries to
have an affair with a woman who won't sleep with him (Illeana Douglas).
Elaine is attracted to
a mysterious guy (Nicholas Paul Walker)who turns out to be married
and broke. Kramer gets a
strongbox to protect his valuables and hides the key in Jerry's apartment,
but Jerry keeps
finding it. Jerry unintentionally starts a feud with a neighbor (Louis
Mustillo)and hopes to use a
pair of Jerry Lewis' cufflinks to strike up a conversation with Lewis
at a friar's club roast, but
they get stuck in Kramer's strongbox when the neighbor's bird swallows
the key.
THE WIZARD - Episode 163 (02/26/98)
Jerry buys a wizard electronic organizer as a birthday present for
his father who uses it
exclusively as a tip calculator. Kramer announces his retirement, immediately
moves in next
door to Helen and Morty at the condo complex in Florida, and runs for
condo board president.
Elaine wonders about her new boyfriend's race. George tells Susan Ross'
parents that he has
a house in the Hamptons and eventually must fess up to his lie when
they make him drive
them there.
THE BURNING - Episode 164 (03/19/98)
George (Jason Alexander) tries to learn the art of leaving with the
audience wanting more;
Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) has a new girlfriend (guest star Cindy Ambuehl)
who has a secret in her
past; Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) discovers that Puddy (guest star
Patrick Warburton) is
religious; and Kramer (Michael Richards) joins his actor friend Mickey
(guest star Danny
Woodburn) in pretending to suffer from various diseases.
THE BOOKSTORE - Episode 165 (04/09/98)
George takes an expensive book into a bookstore bathroom and is forced
to buy it. After
several failed attempts to return it, George realizes the book has
been marked and is
impossible to return or pawn. Jerry finds out from his parents that
all older people shoplift a
little. Jerry sees his Uncle Leo shoplifting books asks security to
scare him to teach him a
lesson. The bookstore's security arrests and prosecutes Leo and Jerry
has nightmares of
Uncle Leo seeking revenge. The J. Peterman Co. has their annual party
and everyone
expects Elaine to dance, but she ends up getting drunk and making out
with a new employee
in front of the entire company. Kramer and Newman start a rickshaw
company and hire the
homeless to pull the rickshaws.
THE FROGGER - Episode 166 (04/16/98)
Jerry dates a woman who completes his sentences for him and lives in
an area where 'The
Lopper', a killer on the loose, is lurking. George buys a Frogger video
game machine from a
pizza place where he and Jerry used to hang out because his high score
from ten years
earlier still stands, but he needs to devise a way to get it out without
losing power and wiping
out the score. Kramer uses yellow police tape for a variety of purposes.
Elaine is tired of office
celebrations but gets hooked on eating the office cake. In an attempt
to satisfy her cake
craving, she inadvertantly eats a piece of cake from the 1936 wedding
of King Edward VIII and
Wallis Simpson that Peterman acquired in an auction for $29,000.
THE MAID - Episode 167 (04/30/98)
Jerry hires a maid to clean his already clean apartment, sleeps with
her, and feels weird abou
the relationship because continues to pay her to clean. George wants
to be nicknamed
'T-Bone' but a co-worker beats him to it. Elaine is forced to get a
new phone number with a
new area code when Kramer arranges to have restaurants fax their menus
to her number.
Kramer's girlfriend moves to Lower Manhattan, forcing him to deal with
a 'long distance'
relationship.
THE PUERTO RICAN DAY - Episode 168 (05/07/98)
The gang leaves a Mets game early and get stuck in a traffic jam because
of a Puerto Rican
Day Parade. While they're stuck, Jerry goes head-to-head with an aggressive
driver who cut
him off earlier. George goes into a movie theater and is tormented
for the rest of the day by a
guy with a laster pointer. Elaine tries to get home by cab and then
leads a group escape
attempt under the parade bleachers. Kramer goes in search of a bathroom
and ducks into a
million dollar brownstone that's for sale.
THE FINALE - Episode 169 (05/14/98)
When NBC final decides to develop Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) and George's
(Jason Alexander)
sitcom, they are thrilled. Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Kramer
(Michael Richards) join the
excitement when the gang is given use of the network's private plan
for a vacation to France.
But when the plane develops engine trouble shortly after taking off
and must land in a small
Massachusetts town, their dreams of an idyllic Parisian vacation are
dashed and the foursome become involved in a legal entanglement, forcing
them to prove their good character. Numerous guest star from the series'
nine-year run along with recurring characters Jerry Stiller, Estelle Harris,
Liz Sheridan,
Barney Martin and Wayne Knight.