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A Benton/Carter slash story. Rated M18+ for male/male sex. Last episode seen is
"The Middle Of Nowhere", this story contains spoilers for that episode.
"E.R." and all its characters belong to Warner Brothers. No copyright
infringement is intended. Honest. Please ask before archiving
This story, in all its parts will soon be archived at the "ER Criterion" site.
The address is:
http://www.imagitainment.com/ercriterion/Fanfiction/fanfic.html
There are a lot of thank you's to hand out. A big thank you to Michelle, who issued the
"Going Fourth" challenge in the first place. A big thank you to Melissa, my
editor, who makes sure that I don't misspell "tongue". And a big thank you to
WPAdmirer, whose John Carter/Walter Skinner slash storyline inspired me to try my hand at
writing slash. Another thank you to Shelby, who was willing to archive the series. I also
want to thank all of you who have encouraged me in my past efforts and hope that you find
the following segment entertaining.
"A Most Willing Student, Conclusion"
By: Cathy Roberts
Glroberts@bigfoot.com
John had felt as if he was going to go mad without Peter in Chicago. It had been bad
enough when Peter told him he was going to Minnesota, but when he had tracked him down in
the ER and told him that the plans had been changed and he was going to Mississippi, he
had been frantic with worry. Mississippi? Why were they sending him to Mississippi? A city
wouldn't have been too bad, but they were sending Peter to some small town that only
Jeannie Boulet had ever heard about. Peter had pulled John into the men's room,
established that they were alone and quickly kissed him.
"I'm going to miss you."
"Same here. I wish you didn't have to go there."
"I'm not too thrilled with the idea either. We'll just have to trust that the
stereotypes aren't based on any truth. I won't get lynched by the KKK." Peter
laughed, but John didn't. Instead, he caressed Peter's cheek with his hand, his brown eyes
sad.
"Don't even joke about that. Please be careful down there."
"I'm always careful, baby, but I'm not going to let some racist make me run scared,
either. Here." Peter pressed the keys to his apartment and mailbox into John's hand.
"Would you get my mail for me and check on the apartment every now and then?"
"Sure. I can do that. You will call, won't you?"
"As often as I can. I promise. You'll never be out of my thoughts, John."
Another chaste kiss and then Peter was gone.
John shoved the keys in his pockets and went to call Jeannie, knowing she had been
released earlier and would be home. He needed to ask her if things would be rough for
Peter in Laverne, Mississippi. She had laughed at him when he asked.
"Laverne is no more racist than any other place, Carter. Now, you can take that any
way you want. I think that Peter will be just fine. There's no need for you to worry about
him. Peter Benton can handle himself just fine."
"Thanks, Jeannie. I guess I feel a little better knowing that." John hoped he
didn't sound too relieved as he suddenly realized that he might have revealed too much to
Jeannie. After all, to her knowledge, he had no reason to be concerned about Peter.
"I'm sure that Lucy will be reassured as well."
"Oh will she?"
"Yeah. Well, I'll let you go so you can get some rest."
"Carter, have you been tested for Hepatitis C yet?"
Twice actually, he thought, but he replied, "Yeah. It was negative. From what I've
heard, everyone in the ER is testing negative. I don't think that you need to dwell on the
thought that you might have infected anyone here."
"That's one less thing to worry about."
"Have you called Al yet?"
"Not yet. He's so wrapped up in his job down in Atlanta. I just don't feel right
about calling him and telling him this. I know I'll have to though, because there is a
chance that I've infected him or that he might have given it to me. But, not yet."
John thought that Jeannie sounded pretty sad and he wondered why she was continuing to
hold onto her marriage when it was obvious that she and her husband had gone their
separate ways. Maybe they just hadn't seen it yet.
"Do you need anything? I can bring you some dinner later, if you want."
"Thanks for offering, but Kerry's already volunteered to come by to cook dinner for
me."
"Good. Just be careful that she doesn't ask you to help her in the kitchen. She gets
a little wired about having things done a particular way."
Jeannie laughed, "I'll try to remember that. Thanks for calling, Carter."
"Thanks for answering my questions. I really do appreciate it. Take care, Jeannie,
and hang in there."
"I'll try. Bye."
John hung up, then returned to work, trying his best to keep busy so that he wouldn't have
time to worry about Peter.
Keeping himself busy with work ended up being the only thing that was getting him through
the week. He would work himself past his scheduled hours, then go home and fall into bed,
too tired to eat. Too tired to sleep usually. He would just lay there and think about
Peter and what he had probably done that day. Then he would remember being with Peter, his
vivid memories making him hard with desire. His hand was a poor substitute for Peter,
though, but he used it anyway.
By the following Monday, he was a wreck, snapping at people one minute and depressed the
next. He never noticed the exasperated looks that his colleagues exchanged or their subtle
hints that he should pull himself together. By Wednesday afternoon, Mark had given up on
subtlety and he had angrily sent John home and told him to stay there until he could find
a way to readjust his attitude. Surprisingly, Romano had backed him with that decision.
John had gone home, even more depressed than before. He hadn't realized that he had been
in a bad mood, so he wasn't sure how he was going to change his attitude. His answer to
that came when the phone rang and it was his father. His parents were coming home and
wanted to spend time with him. The only drawback was that a family dinner had been planned
to take place at John's grandparents' house. He still felt uncomfortable around them
because of Chase and wasn't looking forward to attending any family function there.
Christmas there had been bad enough.
John returned to work the next day in a much better mood and he finished out the week that
way. On Friday he had dinner with his parents and on Saturday, he drove out to his
grandparents' estate for the family get together. Dinner went surprisingly well, but John
just couldn't keep his mind from thinking about Peter and the fact that he was becoming
confused about their relationship and what he should do.
During dinner, Roland kept an eye on John, knowing that something was bothering his son.
He and Laura, his wife, had talked about it after John had left their house Friday night.
John had something important on his mind, but the only thing they could do was to wait and
see if John would want to talk about it.
While the rest of the family retired to the study to have after dinner drinks, John
nervously approached his father. "Dad? Can we go for a walk?"
Roland nodded, then went to tell his mother they were going out. By the time he had
grabbed his coat, John was waiting outside the door.
The two headed toward the lake, neither one willing quite yet to breech the silence.
Roland tried to remember the last time they had taken a walk along the lake. It had been
when John had decided to go to medical school no matter what the eldest Carter male,
Roland's father, thought about that. John had been sixteen then. If John wanted to take a
walk, then that meant he was ready to talk about what was on his mind.
"Dad, I have a big problem. I'm in love."
Roland was pretty sure that John should sound a lot happier about the fact. "Oh? Let
me guess, it's that young woman you told me about, Lucy Knight. Right?"
John shook his head, "No. I like Lucy. I like her a lot. I've even kissed her a few
times and we've dated. But, I'm not in love with her. I'm not in love with any woman.
That's the problem."
Roland had to digest that bit of information for a few seconds. He was sure that his son
had just said he was not in love with a woman. That left only one alternative and it was
one that Roland didn't want to have to deal with, ever.
"So, you're telling me that you are in love with another man?"
"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm telling you. Dad, I'm really confused right now. I
love him. I miss him when we're apart, but at the same time I keep feeling that it's
wrong. When I'm with him all my doubts disappear. The problem is that I'm away from him
more than I'm with him. I swear to you that I never in a million years would have thought
that I would be in love with another man. I've never even been attracted to other men. I
like women. I like making love to women. They're great. But, somehow or another, I found
myself falling in love with him. I kept quiet about it for a long time until I found out
that he was in love with me."
"I assume that this is someone you work with. Lord knows you don't have time for a
social life."
"It is. I've known him for a long time. A really long time."
"You're not going to tell me that it's that Benton guy are you? The surgeon who gave
you such a rough time?"
John came to a stop and looked out over the lake, barely nodding. "Yeah. It's him.
His name is Peter. He told me that the reason he was so hard on me was because he was
attracted to me and he wanted to put some distance between us. He even admitted that one
of the reasons he was so nasty to Dennis Gant was because he felt jealous over the fact
that Dennis and I were roommates, even though he knew that nothing was going on between
us." John sighed, "Dad, I just don't know what to do. There's a little voice
inside me that keeps telling me to call it quits, run away from him and forget that
anything ever happened between us. There's this other voice that keeps telling me that I
would be a fool to walk away from someone who I love and who loves me back. I know that
I'm disappointing you and the rest of the family by being involved with another man,
but..."
"John, I can't begin to understand how you feel. All I can tell you is that when I
fell in love with your mother, I was scared to death. I needed her so much and I hated
being away from her. The only time I felt whole was when I was with her."
"That's the way I feel when I'm with Peter."
"No matter what you choose to do, you will still find yourself having to work at the
same hospital as Peter Benton. If you break things off with him, then you will be faced
with seeing him every day. Can you honestly handle that?"
"I've been handling that for years now. I've watched him be with other people."
"But that was before you told him how you felt. Now he knows and you know how he
feels about you. I assume that the two of you have, uh, well, been intimate with each
other."
"You can assume that."
"God, I never dreamed I would be having a conversation like this with you."
"Me, either."
"Son, what I'm trying to tell you is, that if you really and truly love Peter, then
you owe it to him and yourself to try to make it work."
"Its not that it isn't working out, Dad. The problem is that I have never thought of
myself as bisexual or gay. I've never thought of him that way. Even after I realized that
I was in love with him, I still didn't feel that way. But, I enjoy being with him, so that
makes me one or the other, right?"
"I believe that bisexual would be the correct term."
"Okay. So, now I'm bisexual, and in the eyes of the rest of the world, that's wrong.
You hear all the time from the churches and stuff about how wrong and sinful it is. How
unnatural it is. When I was in jail after being arrested for obstruction of justice, I was
scared to death that some guy was going to try something with me. How can I feel that way
one time and then feel totally different about it when I'm with Peter?"
"You know Peter and you love him. That makes a world of difference, son. John, to me,
I think it is far worse for someone to be constantly running around, whether they are
having sex with those of the same sex or of the opposite sex. I would be much happier
knowing that you were committed to one person. I would be ecstatic if it was a woman, but
I can live with the fact that you love another man. I wouldn't be too thrilled if I
thought you were
out there having sex with just about any man who crossed your path. A whore is whore, no
matter their gender. I hope that we raised you better than that."
"You don't have to worry about me where that is concerned. I'm not turned on by other
guys." At least he didn't think he was. He hoped he wasn't.
"Then just make a commitment to Peter. Love each other and try to make your
relationship work. Be faithful to him in all ways. If you make a commitment to him and
then fall into bed with a woman, it's the same thing as if you cheated on him with another
man. It just wouldn't be right. Man, father is going to have a fit over this."
"I guess it's a good thing I already gave up my trust fund, huh?" John asked
with a grin.
"Probably. I'm sure this is a time when he would have threatened to take it away from
you. John, don't let him intimidate you. You have an excellent career ahead of you and you
don't need his money to make it in this world. I wouldn't put it past him to threaten to
write you out of his will because of this."
"I really don't care about the money, Dad. It's his approval that I want. I don't
want Gamma and grandfather hating me. They're still angry with me because of Chase, I
don't want to be disowned because I'm having an affair with a man. A black man at
that."
"Father will probably be more upset over the fact that Peter is black than over the
fact he's a man." Roland hugged his son. "I'm behind you, John. And I know that
your mother will be supportive of you as well. You are our son and there is no way that we
would ever turn our backs on you. I know that we're not around a lot, but we're only just
a phone call away. We love you."
"Thanks, Dad. I love you, too." John hugged his father back.
"Now, why don't we head back to the house? It's freezing out here."
The two men began to walk back. John asked, "Are you going to say anything about
this?"
"I'll tell your mother tonight, but no one else. If you want the rest of the family
to know about you and Peter, then you have to be the one to tell them."
"I think I can hold off on that announcement. I'm not sure that Peter's ready to have
a lot of people know about us. He has his son to think about."
"He has a son?"
John told him about Reese and Carla. "Peter's a good father, Dad. He really is."
"I believe you. I just hope for his sake that Carla is a modern minded woman and
doesn't take exception to the fact that Peter is with you. She could try to take sole
custody of Reese."
"He told her about us almost immediately, and he said that she wasn't upset. I don't
think he told Jackie though. She's his older sister." John explained.
"My word of advice, son, is for you to sit down and ask Peter if he's told anyone
else. And if he hasn't, then the two of you need to discuss what you're going to do."
"It's not always that easy to have a serious conversation with Peter."
"Not much of a talker, huh?"
"Not at all. Not like me, anyway. He tells me that I like to talk things apart."
"I wonder why he would think that about you?" Roland asked with a smile.
"Probably because once I start talking about a subject, I never shut up."
"Son, I was joking."
John grinned, "I know, but it's still true."
Father and son continued back to the house, where John stayed for a another hour before
returning home. As he opened the door to the house, he could hear the phone begin to ring
and he ran to answer it before the answering machine kicked in.
"Hello."
"It's me. I'm back in town. I'd really like to see you tonight." Peter's voice
sounded thick with longing.
"I'm free for tonight. I'm glad you're back." John was smiling.
"Well, Mississippi wasn't too bad. I'll tell you all about it later. There's
something I want you to do."
"Okay, what is it?"
"When you get to my place, run a hot bath and make sure you put a lot of baby oil in
the water. Then I want you to find all the candles that you can and put them in the
bathroom. Light them, then undress and get into the tub and wait for me."
John grinned, "I can do that. When did you get in?"
"I've been back for a while. We'll talk later. I'll see
you soon. Bye."
"Bye."
Less than an hour later, John was in Peter's bathroom, resting his back against the cool
porcelain of the tub. The din of the water obliterated all other noises, but the heat from
it was soothing anyway. He closed his eyes and willed himself to relax, breathing deeply
the scent from the candles that were scattered about the bathroom. The room was becoming
steamy and John wondered how long he would have to wait until Peter returned home. He
smiled as he remembered how Peter had sounded on the phone. Even though his voice had been
thick with longing, he also sounded sad. Something was certainly on Peter's mind though,
and John knew it wasn't him. He was so busy trying to figure out what it might be that he
nearly jumped out of the water when the spigot was suddenly turned off.
"Jesus, Peter! You could have warned me that you were home."
Peter chuckled as he sat on the side of the tub and caressed John's cheek, "Sorry. I
did call out to you when I came in the front door, but you didn't hear me."
Peter was already stripped down and he motioned for John to
sit forward, then he stepped into the tub and settled himself
behind John, bracketing his body with his legs. He pulled
John back against him, lazily caressing him.
"I missed you," John said.
"I missed you, too. I had to sleep in this very small
trailer and every night I imagined how nice it would have
been to try to fit the two of us in that bed. I barely fit."
"So, things went all right then?"
"Yeah. Things worked out. The first few days were rough.
I had no idea that people were still living in those type of
conditions in this day and age. Some without water or
electricity. Some who just simply couldn't read."
"You'd be surprised at how many people in the cities have
the same problem. Gamma's foundation has worked with a lot
of people who live under those circumstances. Things go wrong
for them and they just can't keep up with their utility bills,
then they get so far behind that their water and electric or
gas get cut off. The cost to have it reconnected is
staggering for them."
"It's something I never really thought about, I guess.
Things sometimes got rough when I was growing up, especially
after Pop died. But, the bills always got paid. Hey, guess
what I did?"
"Emergency heart surgery?"
"For that, I would have needed a hospital, not a clinic.
I delivered a baby. Breech birth even."
"No shit?" John twisted around to look at him, grinning.
"You delivered a baby?"
"A beautiful baby girl. Mother and daughter were doing
fine at the time I left. I also came back with some company.
A young girl and her grandmother. The girl has a hole in
her heart and the hospital is willing to donate the cost of
her care and I've already convinced some surgeons to
perform the surgery for free."
"They can't do that kind of surgery down there? Man, they
must really be hard up."
"They can do it. I just felt as if I owed it to her. She's
a diabetic who came to the clinic. I was so busy checking
her glucose level that I never gave her a full exam. I missed
the fact that she had a heart problem."
"If she came to you so you could check her glucose, you
wouldn't have any reason to give her a full exam."
"I should have done it anyway. John, the level of care
down there was appalling. Still, they get by."
"Well, for two weeks they had the best."
"I don't know about that. I felt like a fish out of water.
You or Mark would have been much better for them."
"It sounds to me like you did a good job, Peter. The
little girl is here getting the surgery she needs, right?"
"Yeah."
"And a healthy baby is now in this world, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then you did good. Now, there is one area where you've
messed up."
"And what's that?"
"You haven't kissed me yet."
Peter cupped John's chin in his hand and turned his head
around enough so that he could give him a long and thorough
kiss on the lips.
"Is that better?"
John grinned, "You're getting there. You still seem a little
down though."
"Are you sure you don't want to go into psychiatry?"
"I'm happy working in the E.R. You do seem sad. What's up?"
"I found out that Jeannie was back in the hospital. I went
to see her. There are times when it seems as if God isn't
dealing fairly with her."
"I know what you mean. Jeannie had enough to worry about
without adding the hepatitis C to the mix. Things might be
easier for her if her husband would come back from Atlanta."
"Maybe. I still can't understand why she's stayed with him."
"I guess she just loves him too much."
They were both silent for a little while, then John gathered
up enough courage to ask, "Were you and Jeannie ever together?"
"Why do you ask that?"
John shrugged, "I dunno. It just seems like you're awfully
concerned for someone that you just work with."
"Yeah. We had a brief affair. It was a long time ago, before
she became a P.A. I wanted her to leave her husband and be
with me all the time, but she wasn't ready to give up on her
marriage then."
"It sounds to me like you really cared for her. I'm sorry
that it didn't work out the way you wanted it too."
"Thanks. But, if I was still with Jeannie, then there wouldn't
be a Reese. And there most certainly wouldn't be us. I'd
rather have you." Peter lightly ran his tongue along the
back of John's neck, sending shivers down John's spine.
"I don't suppose that you can manage to turn around?" Peter
asked.
"I can certainly try." John got to his knees, then turned
around in the tub to face Peter.
"I want you. Now." Peter's voice was thick with emotion.
John glanced down, seeing that Peter's erection was certainly
confirming what Peter had just said. "We don't have any
lubricant handy."
"Why do you think I told you to put baby oil in the bath?
It'll do the trick."
"Either that or we'll break our necks trying." John laughed
as he literally slid onto Peter's lap.
They stared into each other's eyes as John slowly lowered
his body down the length of Peter's penis. Neither man
realized that he had been holding his breath until they both
needed to take deep breaths once John was fully settled
on Peter.
Peter pulled John toward him and nuzzled his neck, licking
and kissing his way to John's mouth. "I missed you so much,"
he said before he captured that mouth.
"I missed you, too," John breathed once the kiss ended.
Peter smiled sadly, then began to thrust upward, getting
John caught up in their love-making before he could ask him
any further questions.
When they could arrange the logistics, Peter much preferred
having John on top. It made it so much easier to kiss him
and he loved watching his face when he came. John had told
him much the same thing. The pace of their coupling grew
frantic until Peter finally bucked upward in one strong
thrust and called out John's name as he came. John leaned
against Peter's chest as Peter settled back into the tub,
laying down as far as he could and letting the still warm
water envelop them both. After Peter had a chance to
catch his breath, he kissed the top of John's head.
John tilted his head to look up at Peter, "Still feeling sad?"
"A little. It'll pass. Get up on your knees."
"Why?"
Peter grinned, "Because I have a crazy idea and I want to
see if it will work. Please get up on your knees."
John placed his hands on the tub behind Peter and pushed
himself upright, then got to his knees, straddling Peter's
legs. With Peter as far down as he could get in the tub
and John up on his knees, John could very easily see just
what Peter had in mind and he grinned. "I think that you're
going to be a little too low."
"You just might be right." Peter said as he reached out
and pulled John even closer to his face. He was a little
too low to be able to take John's penis into his mouth, but
not his balls. He gently took them into his mouth, letting
his tongue massage them.
John arched his back, concentrating totally on the sensations
that were emanating from his groin. Oh, he had most certainly
missed Peter these past two weeks. His quiet contemplation
of what his lover was doing to him was shattered when Peter
let go of his balls and his tongue moved behind them. John
had heard about rimming, but he had never imagined that it
would feel like this. He grabbed the bar above the soap dish
and held on as Peter assaulted his senses with his tongue and
hands. He never noticed as Peter pulled himself up enough to
be able to take him into his mouth. He only noticed when that
warm mouth closed tightly over him. He was only in Peter's
mouth for a few seconds before his climax racked his body.
Peter hung on to his legs tightly, sucking him dry.
"I think we should take this to the bedroom," Peter suggested.
"Uh huh," John breathlessly answered.
"Now would be a good time," Peter said.
"Uh huh," John agreed.
Peter smiled, "Baby, I can't get out of here until you move."
"Sorry." John pulled himself to his feet, then turned around
and bent down to pull the plug. He jumped as Peter reached
up to caress him from behind.
"Sorry," Peter grinned as he stood.
"Yeah, sure." John tossed a towel to Peter, then reached for
a towel for himself.
"Not so fast. I want to do that." Peter began to briskly
rub the towel over John's back and chest. As the level of
the water diminished, he was able to rub the towel lower and
lower on John's body, paying close attention to his penis
and nipples. By the time he was done, John was hard again,
just as he knew he would be.
"God, you are so quick."
"Are you complaining?" John asked with a grin.
"Not at all. It's just that I've never really had to deal
with an insatiable lover before."
"Me, either."
"Are you saying that I'm insatiable?" Peter demanded to know.
John ran a finger up Peter's rigid penis, "Looks like it
to me."
"We definitely need to take this to the bedroom." Peter
stepped out of the tub and quickly dried off while John doused
the candles. The light in the bedroom was on and they had
no trouble finding their way to the room, despite the darkness
of the rest of the apartment. Standing beside the bed, the
two embraced tightly, kissing each other passionately.
"Peter, do you think I could ever be in you?" John asked,
blushing and hating himself for doing that.
"Of course. I should have suggested it earlier. Got any
ideas about how you want to try this?" Peter grinned.
John thought about that for a while, "Well, have you ever
had another man inside you?"
"Yes."
"Oh." John knew he sounded disappointed about that fact,
but he tried not to show it.
Peter softly stroked the lower part of John's back, "Baby,
I thought it was pretty obvious to you that I had been with
other men."
"It was. I just didn't figure that you had done "that" with
another man."
"I prefer to be the one on top, so to speak. I really like
being in you. You are so damn responsive to whatever I do
and that is a big turn on for me. I just assumed that you
preferred being the recipient, but if you don't, then that's
fine with me, too. We can find a good compromise."
John blushed again, "I do prefer to have you in me. I like
it. A lot. A whole lot. But, I would like to know what
it's like to be in you. To have you want me that way."
"I do want you that way. Pick the position and let's see
just how much you like it."
John thought some more, then nodded, "I'd like for you to
be on top, but I don't want to do it in the bed. Remember
the time we did it in one of the dining room chairs?"
Peter nodded and squeezed John's butt, a smile on his face.
Did he remember that? Oh, yeah. He remembered every single
time that he and John had been together. Each movement John
had made. Each time that John had called out his name.
Each moan and gasp. Oh yeah, he remembered it all right.
"Then let's go get a chair." John said.
Peter grabbed the tube of lubricant and followed John out
of the bedroom and waited until John had settled himself
into one of the chairs. Then he knelt in front of him,
parting John's legs so that he could move in closer. He
stroked John's thighs, letting each successive stroke go
higher until he was stroking John's balls and penis. Then
he made sure that John was well lubricated before standing
and handing the tube to John. "You'll have to do me."
"I do you all the time, Peter," John joked. He squeezed out
the lubricant, then leaned forward so that he could slowly
and carefully apply it to Peter. While doing so, he
carefully slipped a finger inside Peter, something that he
done many times while performing oral sex on him. This time
though, the finger was a promise of what was to come. He
smiled as he watched Peter close his eyes and throw his head
back with a moan. Then he withdrew his finger and leaned back
in the chair, sliding down until the edge of his buttocks were
at the edge of the seat.
"Are you ready?" he asked, surprised at how nervous he sounded.
He grasped his penis and held it upright.
Peter straddled him, then lowered himself onto John. He wasn't
going to make the same mistake John had made the first time.
He had no intention of letting John get all the way in on the
first stroke. No, he knew that it would be more pleasurable
for the both of them if this was taken slowly. He had
forgotten just how good it felt to have a hard penis inside
him, and he didn't have the entire length of John there yet.
He looked down at John, who had his eyes closed and his hands
resting on Peter's hips. As he slowly impaled himself on
his lover, he watched a thousand different emotions cross
John's face.
When Peter was finally full, he asked, "So, how do you like
this so far?"
"I never imagined that you would be so damn tight! And hot.
God, you are so warm inside."
"John, you've done enough rectal exams to know that it's
warm in there." Peter grinned.
"This is a Hell of a lot different and you know it," John
opened his eyes and stared up at Peter. "Are you ready?"
Peter grabbed the back of the chair, locked his knees and
nodded. Then John began to pull out, only to slowly thrust
back upward. As he increased the pace, the room was filled
with their combined moans and murmurs.
John kept his hands off of Peter, because he didn't want to
bring Peter to climax with his hand. The side benefit to this
position in the chair was that once John was done, all Peter
would need to do was stand while straddling the chair and
John could use his mouth on him. At least that's the way it
had worked for them when Peter was the person sitting in the
chair. John let himself concentrate on the wonderful
sensations he was feeling. He had not been lying when he
had said he was surprised that Peter was so tight. He had
never been inside a woman who was like that. Never. The
friction created by that tightness was incredible and he
vaguely wondered just how it was that Peter managed to hold
onto his erection after two strokes. Just seeing the look in
Peter's eyes and on his face as he was feeling his own pleasure
increased John's desire ten times. His orgasm took him
totally by surprise and his grip on Peter's hips tightened
as he emptied into him.
Peter waited a few seconds, enjoying the feeling of having
John inside him still, then he stood and let John bring him
to climax. After he had come, he helped John get off of the
chair and he pulled him close once more.
"So, how did you like that?" Peter asked after kissing John
lightly on the lips.
John smiled, "I liked that a lot. I still like having you
in me, too. We might have to try that a few more times before
I can really make up my mind which way I like best."
Peter laughed, "Only a few more times, huh? I was thinking
that we might have to try it at least once a week for the next
fifty years or so before I can make up my mind."
"You liked it? I thought you said that..."
"I said that I generally preferred the other way. In the
past, I never had you as my partner. I think that makes
all the difference in the world. Let's go to bed now."
They returned to the bedroom and got under the covers, tired,
but too wired up to go straight to sleep. Entwined in each
other's arms, they decided to catch each other up on what
had happened the past two weeks.
"So, what did you do while I was gone?" Peter asked.
"Worked. My parents came home for a visit. The only bad
part was when the whole family had to get together for
dinner at my grandparents' house."
"I know you must have enjoyed that seeing your parents."
Peter knew that John missed his parents a lot, even though
he didn't talk about it that often. He wondered how they
could find it so easy to stay away from their children. The
two weeks he had spent away from Reese had been rough. He
couldn't imagine putting Reese into a boarding school and
then taking off for months at a time, only seeing him on
holidays and summer break.
"We had a good time." John wasn't sure if he should tell
Peter about the talk he had with his father. He knew he had
felt embarrassed when he found out that Peter had told Carla
about them being together, but he didn't know if Peter would
feel the same way. He didn't know if Peter would understand
that he had been having his doubts about their relationship.
Doubts about himself.
Peter closed his eyes, but instead of seeing the image of
John's face as he climaxed, which is what he usually saw,
he could only see Jeannie's face. Could only hear her
voice as she pushed his hand away from her face and told
him that she was "poison". At the time, he had felt sad
as he remembered the love they had shared. Now, he felt
guilty for remembering that. He also felt guilty for
thinking about Jeannie while John lay in his arms.
"When I was at the hospital earlier, I overheard a
conversation between Lucy and Elizabeth. Lucy is still
interested in you."
"She'll get over it."
"John, if there's anything you want to tell me, I can
handle it. Really, I can."
John frowned, trying to figure out what Peter might be
talking about. "No. Nothing much happened while you were
gone."
"I would understand if you had gone out with Lucy to be
friendly and then got caught up in the moment. You've never
been with a man before me, so I wouldn't expect you to be
ready to give up on women totally."
John sat up and looked down at Peter, feeling hurt and
confused as the meaning of what Peter was saying dawned
on him. "Are you accusing me of having sex with Lucy
Knight while you were gone?"
"I know she's been after you. Flirting with you. I heard
her admit that much to Elizabeth. Relax, John. I'm not
upset. I told you that I understand. After I was with my
first man, I had a few doubts about my sexuality and I went
out to bed as many women as I could, just to prove to myself
that I was still a man and interested in women. It's no
big deal."
John looked away, trying to fight back the anger that was
building up inside him. When he turned his head back to
look at Peter, the anger was very evident in his eyes and
voice, "Look, I have never cheated on anyone that I've been
with. The closest I've ever come to cheating on someone
was when I kissed Lucy but had not yet broken up with Roxanne.
When I told you that I loved you, I meant it, Peter. I
thought you meant it as well."
"I do. I love you a lot."
"Then how can you sit there and basically tell me that you
expected me to cheat on you while you were gone? Hell,
Peter, I told my father about us. You and me. Us. I worked
up enough nerve to tell him that I was in love with another
man and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
And you tell me that you expected me to be out fucking Lucy
Knight?"
John threw back the covers and got out of bed, trying to
remember where he had left his clothes. He hoped they were
in the bathroom.
"John, please get back in bed."
"No. I'm too angry to stay here tonight, Peter. As a
matter of fact, maybe we should spend a few days apart until
you can figure out just why it is that you don't trust me.
I don't think that I'm asking for too much there, do you?
If you love me, then you should trust me." John did find
his clothes in the bathroom and he hurriedly dressed, then
went out to the living room to get his shoes and coat. He
didn't pay much attention to the fact that Peter was following
him from room to room. He was so caught up in his thoughts
that he never noticed Peter was near him until he spoke.
"I do trust you," Peter said as he reached out to hug John.
John slipped away from him. "Don't touch me right now.
It'll only make things more difficult. I know that you
think you love me, but if you can't leave my side for two
weeks and not have any trust in me, then I have to doubt
whether you really do love me." He shoved his feet into
his shoes, then grabbed his coat from the chair. At the door,
he turned back to look at Peter. The light from the bedroom
was shining on him and John could see that Peter was upset.
He was glad that Peter couldn't see the tears in his eyes.
"You need to think about how you feel about us. About me.
While you were gong, I never once worried that you would
end up in bed with someone else. Not once. Why couldn't
you have had the same trust in me? Think about it, Peter.
I do love you, but I can't stay with you if you can't trust
me." John fumbled with the locks, unable to see them clearly
through his tears. He finally got the door opened and
stepped out into the bright hallway, pulling the door closed
with a finality that stabbed him to his heart. He was so
afraid that he had gone too far and that Peter would decide
that he really didn't love him after all. But, there was no
way that he could live with the knowledge that Peter didn't
trust him. He wiped his tears away, then headed for the train
station and home, hoping that Kerry wasn't around to ask him
what was wrong.
Peter watched the door close and wondered if he should get
dressed and go after John. He had never doubted John's fidelity,
he had only said those things because he had felt guilty over
thinking about Jeannie. How in the Hell could he tell that
to John? This was not the way the evening was supposed to
end. He had missed John so much while he was in Mississippi.
So much that it hurt. He had come home determined to find
some way to convince John to move him with him so that they
wouldn't have to spend any unnecessary time apart. So much
for that idea. He'd be lucky if John even as much as looked
at him during the next few days.
Peter went back to the bedroom and sat on the bed,
considering all his options. He could chase after John,
hoping to catch him at the station. That might result in a
scene of some kind, which would only anger John even more.
Forget that option. He could give John a few days to cool
off, then attempt to talk to him. Maybe by then he would have
found some way to tell him that he had only said those
things so that he wouldn't feel guilty about the thoughts
that had been running around in his own head. Hell, if he
could tell John that in a few days, why not now? Peter
dressed in some fresh clothes, grabbed his coat and keys
and left. He knew he could get to John's place before John.
If Kerry wasn't home to let him in, then he would sit
outside on the porch and wait for John. There was no way
that he was going to let John get away. Not now. Not ever.
Peter rang the bell and waited nervously for Kerry to open
the door Her car was parked out front, so he knew she was
home. Unless she had car trouble of some kind. Much to
his relief, the door opened and Kerry greeted him warmly,
although she was clearly surprised to see him.
"Come on in," she said. "Can I get you some coffee or something?"
Peter squeezed past her and into the house. "No thanks.
I'm here to see John."
Kerry looked at him guardedly for a moment, then smiled
and nodded, "I see. You're the reason that he's been so
moody and edgy these past two weeks, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I suppose I am."
"John's not here, Peter. He wasn't here when I got home
and I don't have any idea when he'll be back."
"Probably in about ten or fifteen minutes. It depends on
how soon he caught a train once he got to the station near
my place."
"Ah, I see. You two had a fight."
"Something like that. He was pretty angry with me when he
left. I just can't let it go at that."
"I don't blame you. John Carter is a great man and a
wonderful catch. I wouldn't want to risk losing him either.
Why don't you wait for him in the living room? I was on
my way upstairs to take a long, relaxing bath. I won't be
back downstairs until the morning." Kerry smiled, "It was
good to see you again, Peter."
Kerry started up the stairs, hoping that Peter and John
would be able to work through whatever differences they had.
"Thanks, Kerry."
"Good luck," she called back over her shoulder.
Once Kerry was out of sight, Peter sat down. He tried to
think of what he would say to John and how he would say it.
He was still deep in thought when he heard a key in the door.
With his heart in his throat, he stood as the door opened
and then he and John were face to face.
John was more than shocked to find Peter standing there in
Kerry's living room. He shut the door and carefully locked
it, trying to avoid talking to, or looking at, Peter.
"John, we need to talk."
"Where's Kerry?"
"She went to take a bath. She won't be able to hear us.
John, would you at least look at me?" Peter couldn't keep
the pleading tone out of his voice.
John looked up at him, "Okay. I'm looking at you. What
do you want to talk about, Peter? Did you want to ask me
if Kerry and I are having a sexual relationship? Or maybe y
ou think that I was working my way through the nurses at
the hospital?"
"No. None of that. I never should have said those things
to you about Lucy. I was wrong and I knew I was wrong the
minute I said them. I never once thought that you would
cheat on me. I said those things because I was feeling
guilty and I thought that the best defense would be a good
offense. I attacked you unfairly and I'm sorry."
"Why were you feeling guilty?"
"When I saw Jeannie today, it brought back a lot of memories
for me. Some sad. Most of them good. She wouldn't even let
me touch her when I wanted to wipe away her tears. When you
asked me about her, I told you that I had been in love with
her. My feelings for her were strong, so strong that I guess
I do still care about her. But, I love you. I'm with you.
I want to stay with you."
"So you're telling me that you love me so much that when you
felt guilty about remembering a past relationship that you
lashed out at me?" John shook his head, then sat down on
the couch. "Aren't you the man who told me that the past
didn't matter? All that mattered was the here and now and
our future together?"
Peter looked down at his hands, feeling even lower than he
did before, "Yeah. I told you that. I'm sorry, John. Can
you forgive me?"
"Peter, I have no problem accepting the fact that you loved
other people or that you were with other people. If I had
a problem with that, then I wouldn't be able to be around
Reese, now would I?"
"No."
"I love you."
"I know. I love you. The question was if you could forgive
me for being an asshole and a jerk?"
"Gee, let me think about that one for a little while. It's
not like you've never been one before, especially toward me."
"I know. I've tried my best to make all that up to you."
"You're more than succeeded. But, this time..." John shook
his head. He was more than ready to forgive Peter for
anything and everything under the sun, but he didn't want
Peter to know that. At least not yet.
Peter sat down beside John and cupped his cheek with his
hand, "I will make it up to you, John. I promise you that."
"All I want is for you to trust me."
"I do."
"And for you to not be afraid of your memories."
"I'll try."
"And for you to be honest with me, to share things with me."
Peter grimaced, "The honest part I can do. The sharing part
might be more difficult. I'll try."
John smiled, "I guess I can accept that."
"Thank you. I'll do my best not to let you down." Peter
leaned forward and tenderly kissed John on the lips. John's
arms encircled him, holding him close as he deepened the kiss.
"Now, I think we should go back to your place and see how
many other ways you can think of to make this up to me,"
John said.
Peter shook his head, "I don't think so. There's a
perfectly good bed in the basement."
"Uh, what about Kerry?"
"I don't want to make love with Kerry. I want to make love
with you."
"I mean, won't she get suspicious if you're still here in
the morning?"
"No. She basically gave me permission to spend the night.
She knows that we're a couple, John. She asked me if I was
the reason you were so moody and edge these past two weeks."
"And you told her yes?"
"Of course I did. Then she told me what a really great
person you are and how lucky I am to have you. After that,
she said she was going upstairs to take a very long bath
and that she wouldn't be back downstairs until the morning.
I don't think she'd be upset to find me at the breakfast
table."
John blushed at that thought and Peter smiled. He had a
feeling that he was going to have to do a lot of convincing
in order to get John to agree to move in with him. He was
certain that John wanted to be with him, but John still had
his insecurities about other people knowing they were together.
What a pity that Doug Ross had moved to the West Coast.
Peter could have told him that he and John were in love
and a couple and within hours the entire hospital would
have known. It would have made things a lot simpler.
Peter stood, "I think we should go to bed."
"I need to get the lights. The door for the basement is
in the kitchen."
"I've seen it before." Kerry had given Peter a short tour
of the house when he and Lucy had been invited to dinner.
"I'll be right down." John promised as he stood and began
to turn off the lights. When he got to his room, Peter
already had the covers turned back and was sitting on the
bed, taking off his shoes. He had thrown his coat over
the back of the chair so John put his there as well.
"It's cold down here." Peter complained.
"It's not so bad once you get under the covers. It's when
you have to get out from under the covers that the cold hits
you hard."
"It's not the cold that has me hard right now, John."
"I thought you wanted to sleep," John smiled.
Peter shook his head, "I said we should go to bed. I never
mentioned sleep." He reached out and pulled John to him,
falling back on the bed so that John fell on top of him.
John lost all sense of time as he and Peter made love. It
seemed as if an eternity had passed since Peter had rolled
him over to his stomach and slowly entered him. Twice now
John had been on the verge of a climax, but Peter had a firm
grip on the shaft of his penis and every time he was ready
to come, Peter had moved his hand to tightly squeeze the
area where John's testicles were joined to his body,
effectively cutting off the flow of semen. The result was
that John had the orgasms, but no ejaculation and no
lessening of his arousal. The second orgasm had been more
intense than the first and John knew the next one would
be even better. Every now and then, Peter would stop and
just rest against his back. John figured that Peter was
trying to keep his own climax from happening. One time he
thought that he should tell Peter about his own technique
for remaining hard, but it was a fleeting thought. It didn't
matter anyway, because John could no longer talk coherently.
Oh, there were sounds coming from his throat and mouth, but
they bore no resemblance to any language. He had been
reduced to a pre-civilized state, devoid of language and
reason. His only awareness being the beating of his own
heart and the slow and firm thrusting of the man behind him.
Rational thought was impossible as waves of pleasure
radiated from his anus to his brain, then back down to
settle in his groin. The waves were coming faster now,
gaining intensity as his orgasm neared.
Peter smiled as he felt John's scrotum contract and begin
to recede into his body, telling him that John was about
to come. Not that he needed any physical sign to tell him
that. The noises coming from John were increasing and Peter
knew his lover wouldn't be able to take much more of this.
It was just as well, because he couldn't take much more
either. He would let John come this time. But, not yet.
There was still something he wanted to ask John and he was
more than willing to take advantage of John's diminished
mental state in order to get the answer he wanted. Peter
began to pull out of John, leaving only the tip of his
penis inside. He waited to see how long it would take for
John to figure out that he had stopped. It wasn't a long wait.
John had been teetering on the edge, getting ready to
cross over to sweet release when Peter practically pulled
out and stopped. Every fiber in John's body screamed with
frustration and John instinctively tried to push his hips
back, seeking Peter. But, Peter had him pinned to the
mattress and was holding him there, preventing any
movement on his part.
"No," a strangled whisper escaped John's mouth.
"Do you want to come now?" Peter asked.
"Yes," John's voice was thick with desire and he was close
to tears. "Please."
"I want to be with you all the time. Will you move in with
me? Tell me yes, John."
"Yes!" John cried. He would say yes to anything if it would
result in Peter finishing what he had started. "Yes, oh God,
yes! Yes, yes, yes."
Peter shifted position and began to enter John once more.
It proved to be the undoing for them. Peter came as he began
to thrust and he pushed forward quickly. He had been so
close for so many different times that he thought he would
never stop coming.
A redness entered John's mind as his orgasm hit with so
much force that a scream arose in his throat. He never
noticed it when Peter's hand covered his mouth, all he cared
about was the sweet feeling of release as he was finally
able to ejaculate and he rode the crest of pleasure to the
warm afterglow of sex. He lay still upon the wet sheet,
barely breathing as his heart raced.
"Baby, are you all right?" Peter removed his hand from
John's mouth and rolled him over, afraid that he might
have deprived John of much needed oxygen when he was
trying to keep them from awakening Kerry.
John slowly smiled, "That was fucking fantastic."
Peter laughed, "Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?"
"Give me a few hours and we can try it again."
Peter scoffed at that remark, "Baby, there's no way I'll
be recovered enough to try anything in few hours. But,
since you're moving in with me, we'll have plenty of
opportunity to do this often."
Peter reached down to the foot of the bed, searching for
the covers, then he pulled them up over them and snuggled
next to John. "It's freezing down here."
"I wasn't cold a minute ago."
"I don't think you were even here a minute ago." Peter
placed his hand on John's chest, feeling the still rapid
beat of his heart. A heart that truly belonged to him.
He grinned, then began to play with one of John's nipples.
"So, how long will it take you to pack?"
"To pack what?" John asked. He was having trouble
following Peter's change of topic, mainly because Peter
was making it difficult for him to think again.
"To pack all your stuff. I want to move you in as soon
as possible."
"Move me in where?"
"To my place. You agreed to move in with me, remember?"
"When?"
"Right before you came."
"I don't remember that."
"Well, you did. I asked you to move in with me. I believe
your answer was 'Yes. Yes, oh God, yes.' There were a
couple of more yes's in there, but I think you get the
picture."
"I can't just move out, Peter. It wouldn't be fair to Kerry."
Peter scowled, "What kind of lease do you have?"
"Month to month, but I need to give her thirty days notice."
Peter smiled then, "That's not a problem. It's the end of
February, you can give notice in the morning and pay for
March. That will give her plenty of time to find a new
boarder."
"But, if I pay her for March, then I can't help you out
with your rent."
"I've already paid my March rent. I think we can start
moving you in tomorrow." Peter lowered his mouth to the
nipple nearest him and slowly sucked on it, pulling it
upward and then lightly nipping it with his teeth.
"Um, Peter, if you aren't going to be recovered for a long
time, then you probably shouldn't be doing that."
"Why not? I doubt if you're going to be able to do anything
any time soon either."
"Guess again." John grabbed Peter's hand and placed it
upon his obviously hard penis. He grinned at Peter's
surprised expression.
"Damn, you are insatiable, aren't you?"
"I believe you've made that observation before."
"I was joking about it then. I'm not joking now. Well,
let's see just how long you can last this time."
"I thought you couldn't get it up any more?" John's grin
was wicked.
"I can't. But, my hands and mouth are in great shape."
To prove his point, Peter captured John's other nipple in
his mouth, giving it the same treatment its twin had received.
John sighed and resigned himself to the fact Peter had no
intention of letting him get to sleep any time soon. As
Peter's hands moved lower, John smiled, realizing that for
the first time in his life, he was truly happy. And it was
all due to the man who was driving him into a frenzy. He
squeezed Peter's shoulders and Peter looked up at him.
"I love you, Peter Benton."
Peter grinned, content now that John had agreed to live
with him. He would not be alone anymore. "John Truman
Carter, I love you with all of my heart and soul." Then
he lowered his head and took John into his mouth, reveling
in the moans that elicited from John. John was his and he
was John's and they would never, ever, be alone again.
The end.
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