Silent Tears
By Michelle

Disclaimer- I do not own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to 20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I am using them without permission, however I am not making any money off them so please do not sue me.

Author's Notes- This angst-fest was brought on by reading season four spoilers, but it has nothing to do with them. It takes place after Graduation Day Pt2 and goes into it’s own little world from there. A world in which Buffy and Angel never reconcile. This is a companion to my story Little Piece of My Heart and it’s a Buffy/Angel angst piece with hints of Buffy/Xander. Angel’s PoV. Enjoy.

Feedback- Please, but no flames. I know a lot of B/A Shippers aren’t going to like this, and as as B/A fan I don’t either, but I just decided to write it. So please no flames for the B/X concept.

Distribution- Buffy's Passion, Daydreams of BtVS, and Slay This! have permission, everyone else just ask me first. I'll almost always say yes.

Rating- PG-13

Classification- Buffy/Angel, hints of Buffy/Xander, future fic, angst.

Spoilers- Graduation Day Pt2

I cry tears for yesterday and for the tomorrow we’ll never have. I cry for both of us, and for the couple we once were.

For those few perfect months we had a chance, but in the end fate stepped in. I’m a vampire, she’s the slayer, we could never have been anything else. Nor would we would have wanted to be.

Because while it’s who we are that drove us apart, it’s also what brought us together. If she hadn’t been the slayer, or I hadn’t been a vampire then we would never have crossed paths.

I curse Whistler and I thank him at the same time, for he’s what brought us together. In a way I almost wish he hadn’t, then I could be spared the pain of loosing her.

So would she, but she’s healed now. She’s married to Xander and they have two children, she’s moved on.

Even though she’s another man’s wife I still think of her as mine, for in my heart she always will be. She’ll always be the girl I love with all my heart, and to me she’ll always be a girl. For that’s what she was the last time I saw her, an 18 year old girl.

The woman she is today belongs to Xander, to her husband, but the girl she was all those years ago is mine. Still, I’ve realised that maybe it was never meant to be.

Maybe that’s why I was able to leave, why she never went after me. Because in our hearts we both knew that this is the way it was supposed to be.

I still cry though, silent tears for a life long past. It’s only been ten years, but it’s been an eternity.

For in those years everything has changed and all that it is left is the memories of a love which faded away as time went on.

The people we were then no longer exist, she grew up, and in a way so did I. I made the hardest decision I ever had to, and I don’t regret it because it was the best thing for her and that’s all that matters.

Still I cry silent tears for the yesterday we left behind.

The End