Part 2
“Of course I’ll help!” Willow exclaimed. She had always liked Ms. Calendar, even
after what happened, and helping her daughter–especially when it would also help
Angel and therefore Buffy–was definitely a worthwhile cause in her dictionary.
“Good,” Giles said. “I-I’m glad. Perhaps you can convince Buffy to be so accomadating.”
Willow’s brow furrowed. She turned absently, setting a jar of herbs back in it’s
place on the shelf. They were in her shop–she dealt in magic: herbs, spells, magical
objects and so on.
“Doesn’t she want to help? I mean, we’re talking about Angel here. Besides, what
can she do?” Willow asked, turning back to Giles and the girl, Reveka.
“We can’t cast the spell on top of the curse that’s already on him. We need Buffy
to lift it.” Willow’s mouth went into an O as she realized what that meant.
“And she doesn’t want to?” Willow asked finally.
“No,” Reveka replied, her lips thinning. “I would have thought that sh–”
“You don’t know Buffy,” Willow interupted. “You don’t know what she’s gone through.
Don’t make assumptions about things you don’t know.” The gypsy girl’s eyes blazed
at the reprimand, but she kept silent.
“The first thought must be for Angel,” Giles said wearily. “I have talked to him
and he’s on his way. He doesn’t know what’s going on though.”
“Why didn’t you tell him?” Willow asked.
“I didn’t want to rasie his hopes. The longer he has to think about it the worse
it will be if something goes wrong,” Giles pointed out.
“Nothing will go wrong,” Reveka said through gritted teeth.
“Of course not. But you need me there just in case, right? To perform the curse,”
Willow said softly. Giles nodded, and Reveka grudgingly followed suit. “I’d be
happy to help. Here, let me look at the spell. Maybe I can find a way to strengthen
it.”
“It’s stro–” Reveka began, but was silenced by a look from Giles, whom she seemed
to listen to for some reason the rest of them couldn’t comprehend.
“Willow has been doing this for years,” Giles told her. “She knows what she’s doing.”
“I didn’t say she didn’t,” Reveka replied reasonably. “I just said–”
“Just let her look at it.” Reveka handed the paper over. Willow scanned it quickly,
nodding to herself.
“I’ll take it home and work on it. Call me when Angel gets in. And I’ll talk to
Buffy. Maybe I can bring her around,” Willow said.
“Thank you Willow,” Giles said fervently.
“Thank you,” Reveka muttered.
“Say hello to Oz for me,” Giles said. Willow smiled slightly, thinking of her husband
whom she loved more than anything.
“I will,” she said softly. “I will.” It had been so hard to get where she was now,
so hard to find him again after losing him through her own stupidity. It had almost
been the end then. It was for her then-best-friend Xander, and his old girlfriend.
They never made up. And it had torn Willow and Xander apart as well. That still
hurt. But at least she had Oz. And if she had anything to say about it, Buffy would
have Angel.
********************
Six years and nothing had changed. Maybe six and a half. He lost track sometimes.
Little things like that didn’t seem to matter as much without her.
“God, I’m pulling a Spike,” he muttered. “I may as well start drinking and kidnap
Willow now.” He stopped in his tracks with that thought. Because kidnapping Willow
wouldn’t help, even if she wouldn’t willingly perform any spell he wanted her to.
Because Buffy still loved him. That wasn’t the problem. That had never been the
problem.
Angel set down his bags, looking around the still-abandoned mansion. Why someone
hadn’t bought it years ago still elduded him. It was a nice place to live, even
if it did bring back memories. Too many memories. But then, so did everywhere in
this little town. Everything anywhere. Even the moon reminded him of her, because
it’s light was the only kind he’d ever see her in. Even the stars, because they
weren’t as beautiful as she was. Every vampire made him think of her, because she
slayed them so easily and joked about it. Every time he looked in a mirror and didn’t
see a reflection made him realize why he couldn’t ever have her.
Pathetic. He was pathetic.
He wasn’t always like this. It came and went, and most of the time he could go for
hours, even nights without thinking about her. It was being back that did it to
him, that made him remember.
And why was he here, anyway? Some strange, evasive e-mail (sent by Willow, no doubt,
though it had Giles’ name on it) saying he must come at once and that it wasn’t Buffy.
Buffy was all right. He simply had to come.
Well, he had nothing better to do.
Here he was, back again, not knowing why. It wasn’t a research problem. He could
help with those over the phone. They didn’t need him to fight di they? There was
nothing he could take that Buffy couldn’t. Besides, she wouldn’t see him. Which
meant it was Giles’ problem, not Buffy’s.
As long as she was all right.
He would find out soon enough, he supposed. Giles had told him to come as soon as
he got in. So here he was, and there was still half a night before dawn. Time to
face the past. To face the Watcher that he could remember torturing. Time to go
back. To hope Buffy wouldn’t be there. To pray she would.
********************
“Angel! I’m . . . I’m glad you’re here,” Giles said, squinting slightly. He had
obviously just woken up and looked a bit foggy about what was going on.
“I’m sorry to wake you. You said to come as soon as I got into town . . .”
“Yes, yes! I’m glad you’re here. Good of you to come so quickly. Won’t you, um,
won’t you come in?” Giles asked. Angel nodded, wondering if Giles remembered that
he technically didn’t need to invite him in again. He already had once. And see
what it had brought him to.
“So what’s going on?” Angel asked, glancing around the apartment. It hadn’t changed
at all. Well, he wasn’t suprised. Giles wasn’t the sort to change a lot. He still
wore tweed. Always.
“I am,” a female voice said. A pretty young woman walked in from the next room wearing
large pajamas, her dark hair mussed from sleeping. She didn’t look tired though.
“Who are you?” Angel asked. She looked familiar, if he thought about it. She looked
Romani. This wasn’t a trap? Angel glanced at Giles, then back at the dark-eyed
girl.
“Reveka, daughter of Janna. Of the Romani. You don’t look suprised,” she said.
“I’m not. You look Romani.”
“You will be. Suprised that is. Because I have your cure.” It took a moment to
sink in. His cure? What was she talking about? He didn’t want a cure to the curse.
Being tormented was better than tormenting others.
“What Reveka means to say is that she has . . . has discovered another spell. One
that will give you your soul irrevocably,” Giles explained, seeing Angel’s uncomprehending
look. Total, utter silence.
Angel remembered a night of passion. The feel of her skin. A moment of complete
happiness.
“Oh God,” he whispered.
“We just have to remove the first curse,” Reveka said, though he barely heard her,
lost in a haze. And then he did hear her, realized what she was saying and
started.
“I can’t do that. Not to me. Not to her. She won’t do it and I can’t, not with
her. Certainly not with anyone else,” Angel breathed, though there was steel in
the quiet words.
“Buffy had rather the same reaction I’m afraid,” Giles said.
“I know. I know her and she won’t. It’s been too long. It’s too hard.”
“But think of the benefits,” Giles urged softly. “You’ll never have to worry about
being happy.”
“I worked so hard for this,” Reveka said. “Can’t you be grateful?” They both shot
her hard glances and she subsided, glaring.
“I am thinking. Maybe I’d do it, if I was sure it would work. But I can’t force
her to go through that again. I can’t make her do that, not knowing for sure how
it will turn out. It hurt her so much the last time . . . I can’t do that to her
again,” Angel told Giles, no question in his voice.
“Will you speak with her?” the Watcher asked.
“Will she speak with me?” Angel countered.
“Yes. If I ask her to.”
“But do you want to do that?” Angel asked. “Are you sure you want me to be happy?”
“If it will make Buffy happy. And it will. I know that. It will. Where are you
staying?”
“The old mansion.”
“She’ll be there tomorrow night. I promise,” Giles said. Angel nodded and was silent.
********************
“Why?” Buffy demanded. “Why do you want me to go so much? What will talking accomplish?
Make it hurt more? I thought maybe that was all behind me, maybe I could just live
my life in peace . . . but no. You have to go promise Angel I’ll go talk to him.
As if I don’t have enough problems!”
“He’s just trying to help,” Willow put in in defense of Giles. She had joined them
in the library during her lunch break. She’d brought ingredients for the spells
with her.
“Live your life in peace. What about Angel’s life? Do you think he has peace?
Ever? You owe him something at least. You owe him a few words,” Giles said.
“A few words? Is that what you think will happen? We’ll never be friends Giles.
It’s impossible. It was impossible six years ago and it’s impossible now. We’ll
never be friends. And we’ll never just talk.”
“So be it. If you help him, you won’t have to just talk. You’ll be free to do whatever
you bloody like!” Giles exclaimed, getting worked up about it. Except that was what
Buffy was afraid of, that what Angel would “bloody like” wouldn’t be her. True,
they’d never be friends, but no one said anything about enemies. She’d walked out
on him six years ago. Yes, he’d been healed, but he still didn’t have his full strength.
He still had scars from Hell. Where she had sent him. Maybe those scars had festered,
maybe he realized that loving her had gotten him nowhere. Had gotten him to Hell.
Maybe love had turned to hate. Maybe he would use her to get the curse removed,
get the new spell and go out and be happy with someone else. She couldn’t know.
She couldn’t have any idea, and that’s what she was afraid of.
To have him hold her again. To have him there to run to. To feel his lips on hers
. . . to wake up in the morning and find him gone. She couldn’t do it. She didn’t
say any of this though . . . she couldn’t say it to Giles, even to Willow. She couldn’t
say it to anyone, not even Angel. Especially not Angel.
“Why do you care anyway?” Buffy asked instead.
“Because love deserves a chance,” Giles said softly. Buffy turned her face away,
knowing that what he said was true, all of it, and having no answer.
********************