No Sacrifice Too Great

By Michelle McKague

Disclaimer- I don’t own ‘em. They belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox. I’m just borrowing so please don’t sue.

Author’s Notes- I’m a diehard B/a fan so this is probably as close to a B/X story I’ll ever do, it’s pretty much an angst piece. It’s set on Buffy and Angel’s wedding day, and Xander puts aside his own feelings to make her happy. Kind of sad.

Spoilers- Not much. Minor ones for Phases.

Xander paused at the door of the dressing room. He needed to see her, to prove top himself that she was truly gone that she’d never be his.

He knocked at the door, Buffy opened the door, a pleasantly surprised smile when she saw him. “Xander.” She said happily, reaching out to give her a small hug.

He backed away. “No. I just need to look at you. To let you go in my heart, all though you were never mine. You were always his.”

Buffy’s eyes filled with tears as she realised how painful this must be for him. All she could think about was finally marrying Angel, but Xander loved her, this was killing him. After today even the slightest little hope was gone. Angel had won, Buffy was his.

She felt so sorry for him, and so proud. It must be hard on him to come today, yet he did because he knew she’d want him there.

She reached out and hugged him, this time he didn’t protest. As he held her he thought back to another hug long ago, a hug which had been more than friendly.

Slowly he pulled away, he looked deep into her sparkling blue eyes, his own brown ones filled with tears and a never ending sadness. “Congratulations. I know you love him, I hope you guys are truly happy together.”

With that he disappeared, she watched after him. For the first time she truly understood how much he loved her, he loved her enough to want her to be happy with someone else. Even someone he hated.

She wished that she could have felt differently, that she didn’t have to break his heart. But she didn’t, she loved Angel, nothing could change that. You couldn’t control who you loved and who you didn’t, and unfortunately, sometimes you couldn’t control who you hurt.

* * * * *

From the back pew he watched the entire wedding.

The hardest part hadn’t been hearing them promise to always love each other, nor had it been seeing them kiss after they were pronounced husband and wife.

No it had been seeing the look on her face as she walked up the alter. She had never looked at him like that, and never would. Her eyes had been filled with adoration, every part of her glowing with anticipation.

And the look she had shared with Angel had almost broken Xander’s heart, it was then that he knew his dream was truly over.

He always knew it would end like this, he just hadn’t imagined it would hurt this much.

He followed the rest of the crowd out of the church, he took one last look around and slowly made his way out.

* * * * *

He made his way out of the church and towards the receiving line. Buffy looked at him, her eyes filled with admiration.

She knew how hard this had been for him, she could tell it had hurt him deeply. Yet he had come, he came because he loved her so much all that mattered was her happiness.

She looked at him her eyes filled with friendship, admiration, and sympathy. “Thank you.” She said simply, he understood, He knew how much it had meant to her to have him at her wedding. That’s why he came.

It didn’t matter that it was killing him to watch her marry hum, all that mattered was that she was happy. And he knew that by coming to the wedding he had made the day complete for her, and he was glad.

He smiled sadly at her, trying not to show how much pain he was in. “You’re welcome.”

The End