Lending a Helping Hand
By Serena

Disclaimer: I'm not Joss. I'm not Fox. I'm not Mutant Enemy. I'm not the WB. Therefore I can't claim these characters. But maybe Joss will give them to me as a Christmas present, because he loves me so much... Okay, let me have my delusions. They don't hurt anyone.
Author's Notes: I didn't get to do a Christmas fic last year, so I decided I'd do it this year. Buffy starts remembering the events of 'I Will Remember You' and she goes to L.A. thinking it was prophetic, when it is all a plan to reunite her with Angel. Cryptic enough for you?? This is for Rose, who sent me the lyrics and uploaded the pics on my site for me. I don't know what I'd do without her... Let me know what you think, I've developed a major craving for some

Prologue

The female Oracle looked at her counterpart in disgust before turning her gaze back to the glowing ball before them. They were messengers of The Powers That Be, powerful in their own right yet mere servants to the greater good. This often caused a conflict between conscious and duty, and that was what was resulting right now.

"How can you think that they are better off this way?" she demanded, gesturing to the glowing orb. It was not an actual orb, of course, for the Oracles had no use for material things. It had been made of air and earth, natural elements like the Oracles themselves. It shimmered in the large open space they occupied, the window to the mortal world that was at their disposal. She had called on it now to emphasize her point.

A blond girl sat among people who were obviously her friends. While they were laughing and joking, she was quiet and pensive, her chin in her palm and a look in her eye that betrayed the fact that although she was there, her thoughts were not. She was beautiful, yet dangerous, and she carried herself as such.

She was the Slayer.

And she was not doing well.

The orb split suddenly into two separate balls of light, and the new one was filled with the face of a dark man working for his redemption. The image displayed showed him fighting off a demon, a young woman cowering behind him in fear. He was brutal, yet not more so than needed. He was doing his job.

He was known as Angel.

And he, too, was not doing well.

"They are fine without each other. This matter of love does not concern us," he spat, turning away from the orbs in disgust. The place they resided was filled with nothing, and yet it was filled with everything. It was not heaven, it was not hell. It was supernatural and extraordinary and beautiful all at once.

It was their home.

"You seem to focus only on the love they share. Why not focus on the skills they possess as Warriors?" she replied calmly, her eyes fixed on the two.

"Their skill has nothing to do with this," her counterpart said. He was angry that she felt the need to interfere here, where she had no place to. This matter had been closed almost a month ago.

"Ah, that is where you are blind," she said wisely. Touching his arm, she forced him to look at her.

"Their skill to fight comes from the will they have, and that will is close to being broken. Can you not see that they are miserable without each other?"

He sighed. "The matter is out of our hands. The Powers have the final say and they do not agree with you. And, I must confess, neither do I. If they were true Warriors, they would carry on no matter what happened. They are weakened by their love."

"You are wrong," she said violently, her anger making the facade around them shimmer in warning.

"They are made stronger by their love. Why am I the only one that sees this?"

"You have always been compassionate when it comes to lovers, and that is your downfall," he retorted. "This matter does NOT concern us."

"If they are not reunited, they will die. It has been foreseen," she said.

"Then it is their responsibility to reunite themselves. We have no power over this," he told her, linking his hand in hers. They were two halves of one whole, the same as this pair of star-crossed lovers. Together, they were invincible. Apart, they retained some of their power, but they completed each other and that kind of bond was a different kind of power all together.

"Maybe if we just pushed..." she suggested, raising a golden brow at him.

"What do you propose?" he asked skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest. She took a step over to the orbs that still glowed brightly and sighed. Looking down, she was able to concentrate better. There was no floor, for the Oracles did not need something solid to stay upright on. They did not float, either, but merely existed.

"Let her remember," she said suddenly. "Not completely, but through dreams let her remember what happened. The fighting, him coming here, the Mohra demon. She could interpret them differently, perhaps as hints to the future. She will go to him if she thinks he is in danger--or perhaps for answers. Either way, they will be together..."

"And what if she does? We cannot turn him human for her," he argued.

"If we show The Powers how powerful they are together, rather than apart, surely they will realize the mistake they've made and promptly fix it."

"I know you have something else up your sleeve," he said in defeat, "and The Powers will probably have my head for letting you do this. But do what you will."

The female smiled in triumphant, her plan put into action instantly.

And so the dreams began.

Part 1

Buffy bolted upright in her bed, a cold sweat making the sheets cling to her body. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and she brought a hand up to her chest, taking several calming breaths in the process. Glancing over, she was relieved to see that Willow was still sound asleep. The artificial Christmas tree they had set up sat in the corner, lights casting a soft glow around the dark room.

Buffy's eyes drifted around the room as she calmed down, her brain moving at the speed of light to process her disturbing and almost erotic dream. It was all rather hazy and unclear at first, the kind of dream that was usually prophetic.

She ran a shaky hand through her rumpled hair, brushing the scar on her neck in the process. Angel...

Her dream had been about Angel, Angel being human. They had been together, and it had been perfect. They had made love all day long--on a table, in his bed, even in the shower... They had enjoyed food and each other's company and Buffy had felt such contentment, such happiness, that it couldn't have been a dream. Everything felt so vivid now...

Was it prophetic? Would her dream come to pass like so many others? Or was it just her subconscious, reminding her of what she could never have?

Buffy sighed in frustration and flopped back down into her covers. She rolled over in an effort to get comfortable again, but nothing worked. She was too confused and too worked up to sleep. Unlike most dreams that fade away moments after you wake up, this one became sharper and clearer with each passing minute--almost as if it was a memory...

Buffy punched her pillow several times to reshape it, rolling over onto her back. She had her last final tomorrow, and then it was vacation. She was spending Christmas with her father in Los Angeles while her mother went to New York to visit Buffy's aunt...

She stared at the ceiling for a long time, her mind replaying the events over and over again. The dream was too perfect, too right...it could only be that--just a dream. Content with her answer, she slipped back into sleep.

The dreams haunted her once more.

"Rough night?" Riley asked as he and Buffy walked idly across the campus to Stevenson Hall. Her psych final had been a killer, but with the help of her T.A. boyfriend she as sure she had aced it.

Buffy sighed. "I had strange dreams," she told him as they reached the doors to her dorm.

"Want to tell me about them?" he asked, holding the door open for her like a gentleman. She smiled her thanks and stepped over the threshold.

"No," she said quickly. She didn't think Riley would like to know that she had dreamed about having tons of sex with her demonic ex- boyfriend...which is what they had had. Tons... "They're just keeping my thoughts occupied."

Riley seemed content with her answer as he linked his hand with hers. "How do you think you did on the final?"

"I think I should thank you for helping me," she said playfully as she stopped and turned to him. He flashed her a brilliant smile and tugged him closer to her.

"And just how are you gonna do that?" he asked with a sexy half-smile on his lips. She pulled his head down to hers, her lips melding with his in the middle of the lounge. Pulling away, she gazed up a him happily. "Well, that works for me," he said, kissing her again before leading her to her room.

As Buffy dug in her bag for her keys, Willow opened the door. She seemed to be almost comatose, for she didn't even notice that Buffy and Riley were there until she bumped into her roommate. She startledly looked up, tears bright in her eyes as she met Buffy's gaze. Buffy quickly abandoned the search for her keys and looked up at Riley worriedly before turning her attention back to Willow.

"Will? What's wrong?" Buffy asked as she gently took Willow's arm and led her back into the room. Riley closed the door quietly as Buffy led Willow to her own bed and sat the witch down.

Wordlessly, Willow handed her an envelope.

Buffy pulled the letter out carefully and unfolded it, Oz's chicken scratch jumping up from the page at her. Silently she read the letter, which simply stated that he had not 'found' himself yet but missed her terribly and would try to make it back to her as soon as he possibly could.

When she was done, she carefully folded it up and put it back in the envelope. She mouthed 'Oz' to Riley, who sat on her bed opposite from them staring at her. He raised his eyebrows and sat back, bracing his hands on the bed for support. When she gave him a look, he reluctantly got up and kissed her lightly on the lips before leaving.

"I'll see you tonight at Xander's!" she called after him.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Riley said with a grin. Buffy smiled slightly, the words he spoke echoing in her mind. It was almost like d*jˆ vu...

"Will? Oh, Willow, it'll be okay," Buffy said softly as she pulled her friend close and hugged her. "He misses you and he says he'll be back."

Willow looked up at her, her face stained with tears. "But when? He said he's not ready...and I don't know how much longer I can go on without him," she whispered brokenly.

"Shh," Buffy said, rocking her softly, blinking back her own tears. "It's hard, Willow, I know...but you're strong. You can do this."

"No, Buffy, I can't!" Willow cried. "I'm not you!"

Buffy had nothing to say to that.

After Willow had calmed down somewhat, the girls set to packing for the holiday. Suitcase after suitcase was filled until the room was nearly bare and the girls lugged their things out to Buffy's mother's car as the sun set on Sunnydale.

"I *know* I'm going home with more than I brought..." Buffy groaned as she closed the trunk to the Jeep and turned to Willow.

"So am I," the redhead agreed as they got into the car. "Now, you promise not to kill me?"

Buffy laughed. "Hey! I'm a good driver! Riley taught me, remember? Plus my mom helped over the summer."

"Yeah, but remember the last time you drove me anywhere? You wrecked the car," she argued as she got into the car and buckled her seatbelt. Buffy slid into the driver's side and after checking her mirrors and seat turned on the car.

"*Totally* different situation. Everyone was embracing their inner child then, it wasn't my fault," the Slayer argued playfully. She could barely see out over all the bags and trunks in the back, but she managed to maneuver the car out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

"Good-bye Stevenson Hall," Willow waved as they headed down the highway to downtown Sunnydale. Buffy reached over and switched on the radio, not wanting to have a conversation with her best friend right now. Her mind was going strong again with the dreams and she could barely concentrate on her driving while she thought about them. Only when the song on the radio pushed through the cobwebs did she realize how freaky it was...

"There were nights when the wind was so cold.
That my body froze in bed if I listened to it right outside the window.
There were days when the sun was so cruel.
That all the tears turned to dust
and I knew my eyes were drying up forever...

"I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how.
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made...

"But when you touch me like this and you hold me like that...
I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me.
And when I touch you like this, and when I hold you like that...
It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me."

Buffy quickly reached over and changed the station to the local alternative one. Willow, who had been resting her head on the palm of her hand, snapped to attention and looked worriedly over at her friend.

"Sorry...that song reminds me of Kathy," Buffy said quickly. Willow nodded, remembering Buffy's demonic roommate's obsession with Celine Dion. Sighing in relief, Buffy listened attentively to Creed's 'Higher', hoping to put the thoughts of Angel and her disturbing dreams out of her mind.

A minute later, they arrived at Willow's house. Quickly unloading her things from the car, Buffy helped her best friend carry it all in and lug it up the stairs.

"What time do we have to be at Xander's?" Willow asked as she carefully pulled her neatly-folded clothes out of her suitcase and placed them in her dresser while Buffy lounged on her bed.

"Seven. Hey, aren't college kids supposed to come home with a ton of dirty laundry? I know I did...my mom's gonna have a field day with it tonight," Buffy mused as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger. Willow smiled at her as she closed the drawer and picked up the bag, throwing it in the closet.

"Done!" she cried, dusting her hands off. "Wow, it's good to be home. Now if only my parents were actually *here*..."

"The parental units are coming back tomorrow, right?" Buffy asked as she swung her legs around to the side of the bed and sat up. Willow nodded.

"And yours is leaving...when?"

"Day after that," Buffy said. "We're driving to L.A. so she can get her plane and then I'm going to Dad's."

Willow sat down on the bed next to her. "Are you worried about running into Angel?" she asked softly. Buffy looked over at her.

"Kinda... I mean, it's a big city. The chances of us bumping into each other on the Santa Monica pier are slim to none, but you never know... Where did that come from?" she wondered aloud, knowing the answer instantly. She had kissed Angel on that pier, in the daylight, right after he had been turned human...

"What?" Willow asked, totally lost. Buffy shook her head.

"It's nothing. You ready to go? I just have to drop off my stuff and pick up the gifts and then we can go..." Buffy said as she stood and offered her hand to Willow.

"Riley's coming too, right?" she asked as the girls left the room. Buffy coul dn't stop the smile that crept onto her lips at the mention of her boyfriend's name.

"Yep, he's meeting us there."

"He's gonna LOVE what you got him, Buffy," Willow said enthusiastically as the exited the house.

"I hope so," she said happily as they got into the car and headed for her mother's house, Jewel's Christmas CD blaring.

Part 2

After dropping all her dirty laundry off at her mother's, Buffy and Willow headed to Xander's house. Arms laden with presents, they were greeted at the door by Anya, who was wearing a short red dress with white trimming. She looked like those ridiculous people at the mall who dressed up as Santa's helpers...

"That's a...nice dress ya got there, Anya," Buffy said, looking her over. Anya shot her a look as she held the door open for them to enter.

"Xander likes it. When Xander likes something, I get sex. Hence the embarrassment," she said. Buffy winced.

"WAY more info than I needed," she said as they walked in and set the presents under Xander's tree. The needles were brown and the branches drooped where the ornaments hung. Spike sat in the corner smoking a cigarette and Giles and Olivia stood by the drinks.

"Merry Christmas!" she cried, hugging each of them in turn. Well, everyone got a hug but Spike. She still couldn't look at him without getting icky feelings from the time when they had been engaged...

"Okay, everyone's here--" Xander started.

"Riley isn't," Buffy said from her seat on Xander's pullout couch. Xander made a face.

"Remind me again why he's invited?"

"He's my boyfriend and he's leaving tomorrow for a month," Buffy said sternly. Xander sighed.

"Oh, that's right, Fish Boy has to go back to his cows." Buffy threw a pillow at his head as the door opened to reveal the commando.

"We was beginning to get worried!" Buffy exclaimed as she jumped up and hugged her boyfriend.

"No, we really weren't," Spike muttered, propping his boots up on the coffee table. Buffy glowered at him before leading Riley over to the bed.

"Okay, *now* everyone's here. Gifts!" Xander shouted as he jumped up and headed for the tree. Giles shook his head at the boy's excitement.

In a matter of minutes the gifts had been passed around. Amid the gasps of surprise and the crinkling of wrapping paper, everyone opened their presents.

"Well, this will certainly...be useful?" Giles said cautiously, holding up the dancing Santa Xander had gotten him. Xander beamed at the Watcher, watching as he turned it on.

"Wow, Santa has some moves," Willow commented as she pulled a beautiful cashmere sweater out of a box, a gift from Buffy and Anya. She gasped in shock. "It's beautiful!"

Anya had gotten a book on torture from Giles and Olivia as a gag gift. At the far-off look in her eye, Xander questioned whether or not it was the best idea... Buffy had given the ex-demon a gift certificate to the local record store and Xander's gift came in the form of a gift certificate to hours of loving from him.

"Oh, God, did you have to let her open that in front of us?" Buffy groaned as she tore into her present from Riley. Gasping, she carefully pulled the necklace from the bed of cotton it lay in. It sparkled in the light, a beautiful crystal on a gold chain. She leaned over and kissed him happily before opening the clasp and securing it around her neck.

"Wow, Riley, it's beautiful!" she gushed, gazing down at it happily. He smiled back at her and leaned over for another kiss before pulling away and picking up the wrapped package that sat on his lap. She looked on expectantly as he carefully ripped the wrapping paper away, revealing a framed picture of himself and Buffy. It had been taken on a beautiful day outside the dorm and Buffy was holding onto Riley's waist and grinning happily. The frame had been made by one of Buffy's art friends and was clay with small lacy designs imprinted in it.

Riley held the frame carefully as he gaze at the picture. "Is this the one you took?" he asked Willow. She nodded.

"It was after class that one day, before you guys were going out," she told him as she carefully placed the things she had gotten at her feet.

"I love it. I'm gonna put it on my desk at home," he said softly, pulling her close to him and kissing the top of her golden head. Buffy smiled and sighed contentedly, glad she was around her friends during the holidays.

Around eleven thirty, the small party began to break up. Giles and Olivia left early, they had a flight out to England the next day at six in the morning. Buffy and Willow said their good-byes and Buffy promised to call the minute she got back from L.A. so that she could hang out with Xander and Anya.

She surprised everyone, including herself, by giving Spike a kiss on the cheek. They had been standing under the mistletoe, granted, but it was still unexpected.

"Thanks for the tank top, Spike. Can I just say that you have THE sickest humor?" she grinned up at the stunned vampire. He quickly reverted to his cocky self and brushed her off.

"I saw it and knew it was you, Slayer," he said simply, running a hand through his platinum hair. The tank top in question was a black thick-strapped one with 'Vampires suck' written in blood-red letters across the chest. She smiled and leaned into Riley.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" she called as she and Willow made their way to her car, Riley escorting them. Once they reached it, Willow became fascinated with the paint on the car, staring at it awkwardly as Buffy said good-bye to Riley.

They kissed softly under the moonlight as Riley lifted a hand to brush her blond hair back. "Thank you for a wonderful evening," he said softly.

"Thanks for the necklace," she replied shyly. "It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful," he told her. She kissed him softly on the lips before pulling away.

"I gave you my dad's number, right?" Buffy asked. Riley patted his jacket pocket, indicating it was there. She smiled and with one last kiss reluctantly turned away.

"Have a good time in L.A.," Riley said as he kissed the back of her hand and moved away. "Try not to bump into any old friends."

Buffy looked up at him strangely when he spoke. Since Buffy had not told him about Angel, he must have meant her old friends from Hemery... He knew that she had been less than nice at her old school and she hoped that was what he meant...

"I will...or won't," she said with a forced smile as she climbed into her car. Waving, she started it and peeled out of her spot before he could so much as pull his keys out.

"What was that all about?" Willow asked after a minute of silence. Buffy was quiet for a moment and just as she opened her mouth to speak another part of her dream surfaced, one she hadn't remembered.

She was at Angel's and she was crying in his arms. What was going on? They were supposed to be happy, Angel was human...and then the conversation filtered through and she realized the source of her distress. Angel gave up his humanity--and the memory she would hold of the day--for her. With a cry, she jerked the wheel to the side, stars exploding before her eyes. Everything felt so vivid, her pain, her anguish, the love and respect she held for Angel.

Willow's voice slowly infiltrated the haze in her mind, the panic making the fog clear. Buffy pulled over and slumped into her seat, her head resting on the steering wheel as she fought down her tears.

What was wrong with her?

"Buffy? What's going on?" Willow asked. Buffy slowly turned her head and looked at her best friend, her eyes bright with unshed tears. She sighed brokenly and was so overcome by the emotion of the dream that she couldn't speak. Willow rubbed her back in comfort for several minutes as she calmed down.

It was the soft song on the radio that caught her attention, the same one she had heard before...

"There were moments of gold,
And there were flashes of light.
There were things I'd never do again,
But then they'd always seem right.
There were nights of endless pleasure...
It was more than any laws allow.
Baby baby...

"If you kiss me like this, and if you whisper like that,
It was so long ago, but it's all coming back to me.
If you want me like this...
And if I need you like that...
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist,
but it's all coming back to me.
I can barely recall,

but it's all coming back to me now...

But it's all coming back."

With a shout, she turned it off hurriedly. Knowing Willow needed an explanation, she said the only word that was needed.

"Angel."

"What about Angel?" she asked, folding her hands in her lap. Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes and straightened up, shaking her head.

"Not here. We'll go to my house," Buffy said as she let off the brake and steered the car in the direction of Revello Drive.

"Okay, talk," Willow said as they sat on Buffy's bed, clean laundry carefully folded on the floor. Buffy was gazing out the window into the night, her gaze fixated on nothing...and yet everything all the same. She didn't know what they meant, these feelings she had and these dreams that were the cause of the feelings, and it was driving her crazy...

"I had a dream last night," Buffy started slowly.

"About Angel?"

Buffy nodded. "He...he was human," she whispered, twisting her hands in her lap.

"Buffy, you've had that dream a thousand times," Willow said, apparently brushing her off. Buffy grabbed her arm forcefully.

"Will...this one was different. It was so vivid, and it felt so real...almost like a memory," Buffy said. Willow sighed. "He was turned human by a demon's blood, and then he came up and kissed me on the Santa Monica pier...and then we went back to his place and..."

"Had lots of passionate sex?" Willow joked. Buffy nodded and Willow immediately sombered. "Really?"

Buffy laughed at her friend's baffled face. "Oh yeah...Will, we even had sex on his kitchen table."

"Wow," she breathed. "That's the kind of stuff those cheesy romance novels are made of!" Buffy grinned again.

"I know...but that's not all that happened," she said, her tone somber again. "He gave up his humanity so I wouldn't die."

Willow stared at her. "What? I mean, I know Angel's all about sacrifice--but his humanity?"

"Yeah, he did it for me. The day was erased and I didn't remember a thing," Buffy said as she ran a hand through her blond hair.

"But it was just a dream," Willow said. "Right?"

Buffy sighed heavily. "I don't know, Will. It felt...almost prophetic, I guess. Everything was so real."

"So what are you going to do?" Willow asked. Buffy looked her straight in the eye.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe I won't have another one and then I'll know it was just a dream," Buffy said. Willow nodded.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," she agreed. She stayed for a few more minutes before having Buffy drive her home.

On the way back to her mother's house, Buffy pondered her dream once more. She'd have to look into it when she got to L.A., maybe call Cordelia and find out if she knew anything. Her plans beginning to form, she changed for bed and snuggled under the covers.

She dreamed the exact same thing for the second night in a row.

Part 3

Buffy was silent as she and her mother drove towards the city of Los Angeles. For a day and a half she had been constantly plagued with images and parts of her dream and she could not get it out of her head. Joyce Summers was quiet, knowing something was bothering her daughter.

After seeing her mother safely off, Buffy drove around the city for a while. She had missed L.A., its excitement and obsession with beauty. She drove through her old neighborhood and passed Hemery High, where her life had changed forever. Without even knowing it, she sat in her car in the same place Angel had when she had been called, gazing at the smiling teenagers with a sad smile on her lips. How she wished she could be like them again...

Buffy pulled up to her father's house as the sun began to set and darkness descended on the city. Gathering her bags, she quickly jumped into her father's waiting arms.

"Hi Princess!" he cried as he spun her around. Holding her at arm's length for a moment, he looked at her in wonder. "Is it possible that you've gotten even more beautiful?"

She blushed at her father as he led her inside. "Wow, Dad, you sure have done wonders with this place!" she said sarcastically as she gazed around her father's living room, any doubts that he wasn't a bachelor flying out of her mind. The place was littered with papers and pizza boxes and used plates, soda cans on the coffee table and a beer bottle or two mixed in. He chuckled.

"Well, I knew my wonderful daughter was coming to stay with me so I figured I should clean up the place a bit," Hank Summers said.

"I'll do it for you first thing tomorrow morning," Buffy sighed, pretending to scold him. Hank laughed and kissed her forehead.

"Thanks, Yvonne had the week off. You hungry? We have reservations at a great Italian place down the street at eight."

"Actually, I was hoping I could look up my friend Cordelia. I've been dying to see her," Buffy said. Hank nodded and glanced at the clock.

"Well, it's only five now. Why don't you call her and see if she can come with us?" he asked, gesturing to the phone. Buffy smiled and picked it up.

"Sounds great!" She carefully punched in Cordelia's number, praying she was there and not at the office. She turned her back on her father, indicating she wanted privacy, and listened to it ring several times. Sighing, she hung up and hesitated slightly before dialing the number that had been burned into her mind from the moment Cordy had sent her the business card.

The phone rang twice before Cordelia picked up. "Angel Investigations," she said cheerfully. "We help the helpless."

"Cor? It's me, Buffy," she said, grinning at the sound of her friend's voice.

"Buf--Betty! Wow, it's great to hear from you!" Cordelia said, quickly covering up her mistake. Buffy frowned.

"Betty?"

"I'm at *work* and my *boss* is right by my *desk* . I can't talk long," she said through slightly clenched teeth. Buffy nodded.

"Oh, I get it. Very smart," Buffy said. Cordelia smiled and quickly averted her gaze from Angel's.

"It's often been said," she quipped. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"First of all, Merry Christmas!"

"Right back at you."

"Second, I'm here. In L.A.," Buffy told her. Cordelia gasped.

"Does he know?" she asked. Buffy shook her head and sat down on the arm of the couch.

"Of course not, it's...too hard," Buffy said softly.

"You visiting your dad?" Cordelia asked as she removed a nail file from her pencil holder and began working on her nails.

"Yeah, which is why I called. Do you want to come to dinner with us?"

Cordelia paused. "Sure! I'd love to come. What time?"

"Eight," Buffy said before giving her the address. Cordelia agreed to get to Buffy's father's house around seven thirty so that the girls could talk before they went to dinner.

After Buffy was finished unpacking and her father's gifts were under the tree, Hank and his daughter sat down to talk. She told him all about college, what courses she was taking and how she had done. She mentioned Riley when he brought it up, but was very brief. Before they knew it, the doorbell rang.

Buffy jumped up and answered it. "Cordy!" she cried, flinging her arms around her friend. Cordelia was a bit taken aback by her, but returned the hug just as fiercely all the same. Buffy stepped back after a few moments to get a good look at the May Queen.

Her hair was longer and she seemed thinner, but besides that Cordelia looked exactly the same. Except for her eyes, which looked haunted by something...

"How've you been?" Buffy asked as she ushered her inside and shut the door.

"Don't you mean how's Angel been?" she teased as they walked into the living room. Cordelia waved to Hank and took a seat next to Buffy on the couch. Buffy shot her a look.

"Angel? Who's Angel?" Hank asked, clasping his hands in front of him.

"An old friend," Buffy said quickly. "How is he?" Her voice was soft when she asked and Cordelia immediately sensed something was wrong.

"Is he okay? Has he been having...weird dreams lately? Have there been any Mohra guys around lately?" Buffy asked, careful not to give too much away and cautious of her father. Cordelia looked at her in confusion.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Cordelia asked as realization dawned on her face. "Dreams...Buffy, what have your dreams been about?"

Buffy shifted uncomfortably and turned her head so her father wouldn't see. "Angel being human," she mouthed. Cordelia sighed and leaned back into the cushions.

"You're on your own for this one, Buffy. I can't help you," she said in regret. Buffy looked at her closely, knowing she was hiding something.

"Cordy..." Buffy said, her voice slightly warning.

"It's not my place. Go talk to Angel," she said harshly. Buffy's eyes darted around the room as she fought panic down. She couldn't go to Angel, he'd think she was crazy...

"You two realize that you're making no sense, right?" Hank spoke up. The girls looked at him.

"No, Mr. Summers, we make perfect sense. Just not to you," Cordelia said jokingly.

"Well, why don't you go not make sense at the restaurant, hmm? It's almost eight," Hank said as he stood. Cordelia and Buffy followed suit, although Buffy was deep in thought and didn't really know what she was doing. Go talk? To Angel? No...

All throughout dinner Buffy's mind was elsewhere. She answered Cordelia's and her father's questions, but she seemed dazed and it was not lost on them. Several times during the meal she got a faraway look in her eyes that betrayed her, and Cordelia and her father exchanged glances about it.

When the waiter brought them their check, Buffy seemed to snap out of her funk. "Daddy...would you mind if I spent the night at Cordy's?" she asked. Her father pondered it for a moment.

"I suppose it would be okay, as long it is with you, Cordelia," Hank said. Buffy and Cordelia exchanged a look and Cordelia sighed.

"Yeah, sure, it'll be a big old slumber party," she said as they stood and made their way out of the restaurant. Cordelia knew that she and Buffy would be up for the better part of the night talking...

And she wasn't wrong. As soon as Buffy was done gushing over Cordelia's lavish apartment, they got down to business.

"So, how's the gang?" Cordelia asked over a pint of Rocky Road ice cream. The girls were curled up in their pajamas on Cordelia's couch, the Late Late Show blaring in the background.

"Pretty good, I guess. Xander and Anya are as horny as ever--"

"Xander and Anya? Oh, God, I've missed a lot!" Cordelia cried in disgust. Buffy smiled.

"Yeah, you have. You know Oz left, right?" Cordelia nodded.

"You told me in your e-mail," she said.

"Well...Giles has a girlfriend. Her name's Olivia and she's from England, she knew Giles from when he was Rebel Guy," Buffy said. She proceeded to fill Cordelia in on everything else, from their disastrous Thanksgiving to the time when she and Spike had been engaged.

"Hey, where's Doyle? I want to properly meet him this time," Buffy said, gazing at a picture of him on the mantle. Cordelia's eyes moved to the carpet as tears threatened to spill out of them. "Cordy?"

"Doyle's dead," she whispered. "He died saving a bunch of demons. But they were the Casper kind of demon, not the 'I-want-to-cut-out-your-still-beating-heart-and- eat-it-in-front-of-you' type. And we were just starting to get close and it turns out he was a half-demon himself and I still liked him and I think I was falling in love with him and now he'll never know!" she cried in one breath. Buffy placed the ice cream container on the coffee table and gathered Cordelia into her arms.

"Oh, wow, Cordelia I'm sorry. I wish I had known..." Buffy said as she softly stroked her friend's hair. Cordelia sobbed all her grief out, this time to the girl she had always secretly admired. After a time, she pulled away sheepishly and wiped at her tears.

"Sorry about that, I just seem to cry at the worst times," she apologized. Buffy reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" Buffy asked. Cordy smiled and nodded. "It must have been hard on Angel," she whispered. The actress nodded.

"I hadn't seen him so upset since I first got here and he was still Brood Guy twenty-four seven. It hit him really hard," she said. Buffy sighed and leaned back into the soft pillows of the couch. She felt sleep beckoning to her but feebly pushed it away, knowing if she succumbed the dreams would come again. She needed to get out, to be active, to kill something.

Buffy quickly stood and went over to her bag. "What are you doing? Do NOT tell me you're going patrolling," Cordelia said with a roll of her eyes. "Angel's out there, he'll get it done."

"I need to get out, Cor," Buffy said as she changed into a pair of flared leggings and a black tank top. Pulling her hair back in a ponytail and placing a few stakes in strategic places, she turned back around to find Cordelia nearly asleep.

"There's a key by the door, you can take it," the cheerleader said sleepily. Buffy nodded.

"Don't wait up."

"Wasn't planning on it," Cordelia said with a grin.

"Oh, and Cordy? Thanks for letting me stay with you tonight," Buffy said as she moved to the door.

"It's no problem, Buffy, you know I miss seeing you," Cordelia told her in a touching manner. Buffy smiled and with a wave vanished into the night. "She and Angel are the only two people I know who can do that..."

Buffy roamed the darkened streets, knowing her way around the city extremely well. She came close to Angel Investigations but felt Angel's presence there and left. That bond that they shared sure came in handy sometimes...

She idly fiddled with her stake as she walked. Despite the noise coming from the different clubs and the traffic, the night was quiet for L.A., almost calm, something she chalked up to the holidays. Buffy was growing antzier by the minute, itching for a fight. A fight would take her mind off of Angel, something she really needed right now...

Up ahead, the sounds of a fight reached her Slayer ears. Cautiously, she flattened herself against the wall and peered around the corner, startled to see Angel fighting another vampire. He obviously had the upper hand and within a minute the vamp was dust. Buffy couldn't help but appreciate how good he looked, deadly and lethal and mysterious all at the same time.

For a moment, he paused, cocking his head to one side slightly in thought. He turned to look at her and Buffy quickly ducked out of view before she could be seen. That was the last thing she needed. With a shrug, Angel turned and walked the other way, deeper into the shadows of the alley, his coat swirling at his feet.

When she was sure he was gone, Buffy let out a sigh of relief and quickly began walking the other way. For about an hour she made her way around, not finding any demons to fight, much to her dismay. She returned to Cordelia's at around two in the morning, not at all surprised to see the May Queen asleep in her room. Buffy quickly changed and fell onto the couch. Cordelia's spirit roommate, Dennis, turned out the lights for her and pulled the blanket over her.

Tonight, Buffy welcomed the dreams.

And, of course, they came.

On to Part 4