Answering Machine Blues
By Robyn the Snowshoe Hare
Disclaimer: Joss and Co, etc.
Spoilers for 'Something Blue'.
~*~*~*~*~*~
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Hi, Cordelia! Sorry we missed you, but I just can't wait to tell you the great news!
I'm getting married! To Spike! Weird, huh? Well, he just proposed, and I just had
to tell you right away. I'll try you again in about an hour. Bye!
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Hey, Cordy. Guess I missed you again. Would you be one of my bridesmaids? I'm not
going to make you wear something hideous, I promise. You and the other bridesmaids
will decide on the color and style. I really wish I
could talk to you face-to-face, but this is as close as we can get. Giles is really
freaking out. Spike is being really sweet about it, though. I'll call you again
later, okay?
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Late night, Cordy? I hope Angel gave you a raise. Which is actually kinda why I'm
calling again. If you see Angel, could you ask him if he'd come? The groom's side
is pretty empty, so we need Angel to fill it out a little.
Spike is really against making him one of the ushers, so do you think Doyle would
go for it? He seemed like a pretty nice guy. Call me soon!
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Cordelia? This is Anya. Listen, we're both on the bridesmaid list, so I just wanted
to say, there is no way I'm wearing pink. And anything with ruffles is out.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Cordelia, this is your mother. Were you ever planning on calling me back? After all,
I only gave birth to you.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Cordy? Xander. Just wanted to call and tell you that hopefully you *won't* be pulling
bridesmaid duty for Spike and Buffy, because it's just one of those spells gone
nuts again. One of these days I'm going to staple Willow's spellbooks shut. Gotta
run, but I'll call you again later.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
This is Anya again. Don't you ever answer your phone? Anyway, what do you think about
green for the dresses?
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Um, Cordelia? This is Giles. I was just calling to ask if you could give me the number
for Angel's office, since he might know a way to break this bloody spell. I'm rather,
er, blind at the moment, which cuts down my researching options. Call me when you
get in.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Oh, my God, Cordelia, you would *NOT* believe the outfit that Trisha just wore to
the Bronze tonight. She actually tried to pull off a powder blue, but you know her
complexion. *God*, it's hard without you. I mean, *powder blue*? Ugh. *So* 1995.
I just said to myself, 'Aura, you *have* to call Cordelia *right* *now*.' Call me
back when you get a chance, okay? I'll tell you all about Mandy's thing with Trent.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Cordelia? Um, I just wanted to tell you that you should probably just ignore all
the rest of the messages on your machine. That thing with me and Spike? Spell. All
Willow's fault, by the way. Ugh! I was actually *engaged* to Spike! Could there be
a yuckier thing? I hope everything's good with you. I'll call you again tomorrow,
since right now I need to go home and shower for about four hours.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
Um, hi Cordelia! It's Willow, and I just wanted to say that it's all my fault. You
know, the Buffy and Spike marriage thing, all the demons chasing Xander thing, and
the thing where Giles was blind. I'm sending you a box of
cookies, so I hope it'll be all right. Gotta go, the timer on the next batch of chocolate
chippers just went off!
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
This is Anya again. I just wanted to say, that whatever bridesmaid dress we might've
decided on, I would've looked *way* better in it.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since
I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the
tone.
*beep*
-bloody hell. Stupid toffing machine. Listen, Cordelia, I just want to say that if
you *ever* tell Angel about this, I'll come down there and rip out your organs to
frame and put on my wall....hope you're doing okay and all that.
The End