A Scooby Mystery...

The atmosphere is 40's detective movie/novel noir, straight from San Francisco. In fact, this story would be run in black and white, if I had a scanner.

A malt shop. A bartender's who's seen it all and wouldn't care to see any of it again sits polishing a glass. Shady figures in pork pie hats and dark sunglasses sit whispering in corners, although it is a mystery why they are wearing the sunglasses, because the lightning is pathetic. FRED and DAPHNE sit together at the table, reading the newspaper. VELMA sits at the table next to SHAGGY, and wearily scribbles complicated equations on a corner of her placemat. SHAGGY and SCOOBY are the only ones who don't look tired, and are digging enthusiastically. into their food. The bar is filled with dim smoke, and the only noise and movement comes from ALEX Super, who's just run into the bar.

ALEX: Hey! Guys! You won't believe what I just heard!

VELMA: (yawns) Try us.

ALEX: They say old man Winters, the hermit who lives on the hill's about to move out!

SHAGGY: (sigh) Like, can't it wait until we've finished dinner?

ALEX: This is fantastic, man! You don't know what you're missing! They say it's haunted!

SCOOBY: R-raunted?

ALEX: That's right! Going, guys?

DAPHNE: No thanks, I'd rather have my body vigourously rubbed by a...

FRED: Blond man with an ascot?

DAPHNE: ...cheese grater.

ALEX: Ok... Well, If you're going, you'd better hurry.

ALEX Super leaves.

SHAGGY: Like, personally, I'd rather have my cowardly self run through a meat processing machine...

SCOOBY: Re roo... ro, rait a rinute... ran ri rave ra rhile ro rink rit rover?

FRED: No. Come on. Let's go.

CUT to outside a massive house. Vines cover everything, including the massive gargoyles. There is a massive door, surrounded by a massive wall. There is a massive storm going on in the massive sky, massively raining massive amounts of water on our massive heroes. FRED knocks the gate in time to some unrecognisable music presumably only he can hear. No one answers. FRED knocks again, this time a lot harder. Old man WINTERS answers the door.

WINTERS: Sorry. Didn't hear you knock the first time. What do you kids want?

SHAGGY: Ummm... I'd like a...

WINTERS: Nope, sorry. No can do, bro. S'time to go, so, umm... leave.

SHAGGY: I'm not a bro. Not your bro, anyway.

SCOOBY says something untintelligable.

WINTERS: Yeah... you and Don Knotts too.

Suddenly, There is a laugh from inside the house.

VELMA: What was that?

WINTERS: It's the Jester Spirit. He likes to run around and make you solve unintelligable riddles. I like collecting bottlecaps. What do you like to do?

SHAGGY: Right now, I'd like to leave. Now, if possible.

There is another lightning bolt lighting up the sky.

WINTERS: Good idea. Bye.

WINTERS leaves.

SHAGGY: What a wierdo.

VELMA: (laughs cynically) Look who's talking.

SHAGGY looks around the courtyard and shrugs.

VELMA: (sigh) Never mind.

The gang approach the house. Suddenly, a SPIRIT emerges from the main gate. Jumping in, and slamming the gate, he laughs.

SPIRIT:
Welcome to my little domain,
you'll probably not get out again,
Since you have nothing to gain,
Why not play my little game?

SHAGGY: Well, firstly...

SPIRIT:
Silence!
Come on, come right in,
What you seek is inside.
Demonic torment and original sin.
come on down, and enjoy the ride.

VELMA: What a ham.

SCOOBY: Rhat rid ri rou?

SHAGGY: Wait, wait, wait, like, did he say demonic tor...

FRED: (interrupting) No. We're ready. Bring it on.

SPIRIT: For my first riddle, what casts no shadow in the brightest of light?

SHAGGY: Me, because, like, I'm not going to be here! Bye.

SHAGGY tries to run, but is held by VELMA.

Know the answer? replace the "start.html" portion of the nav bar with "your answer".html. You're not stupid, but for people not quite as beautiful and intelligent as you are, "your answer" is where you put your answer, not literally "Your Answer". If you're right, you get to go on to the next chapter of the story. Kopish?