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This story takes place after "Bad Eggs," and goes into an alternate universe direction from there. I did write part after Innocence, so don't think I'm psychic. I will never finish it since it has been completely Jossed, but I liked some of the scenes so I decided to post it.
Once they had gotten out of the cemetery, Mrs.
Summers finally turned to Cordelia and asked what the hell that was all
about.
"Uh...gangs," Cordelia responded. "They
were gangs. We should get home."
Mrs. Summers turned to her. "Thank
you. I do believe you saved my life."
"Just returning the favor," said Cordelia.
"What?" Mrs. Summers asked, but Cordelia had
already turned to leave. Mrs. Summers got in her car and drove home.
As she was driving, she pondered the night,
and decided everything be damned, she was going to have it out with Buffy
that night. She needed to make her daughter learn responsibility,
and if it meant waking her up at 2:15 in the morning, so be it. The
more she thought about her near death experience, the angrier she was.
Not only had Buffy's carelessness put her in danger, it had nearly gotten
Cordelia killed along with her. Not only was she going to be grounded
until judgment day, but she was going to put a stop to all of this library
nonsense to. Mrs. Summers didn't believe for a second that she spent
all that time in the library. From now until the end of the year
Buffy was going to come to the gallery right after school, and stay there
until Joyce went home at night. And she was going to make damn sure
that bedroom window was boarded up.
Buffy Summers was not having a very good night.
This vampire had interrupted her tender moment with Angel, and had insisted
on bringing along a few of his friends. As Angel dealt with two of
the five, one snuck up behind Buffy. She grabbed his head, used it
to swing herself out and kick another one away, flip over the vamp, and
then flip him over her head and onto the ground behind her. Actually,
it was a pretty impressive move. "That was really good", she said
aloud, while plunging a stake into the vamps chest. She didn't even
need to look up as a fifth one attacked her, she kinda stuck out her foot
and he ran into it. She pummeled the two that she was fighting for
a while, using a series of front and back kicks since they surrounded her,
then stuck out a stake behind her while jump kicking the one in front.
As the back one turned to dusk, she punched the front one a few times,
kicked him in the face for good measure, and dusted him with the same stake.
She looked over and saw the Angel had made short work of one of his vamps
but was having some trouble with the second. She walked over and
calmly made short work of him, covering Angel in dust.
"Damn, I am good," she said aloud.
"Those were some pretty good moves," he said.
"Now, where were we."
"I'm sorry Angel. I need to get home."
"They ruin the moment."
"You said it. Walk me home, and then
you can kiss me goodnight."
"I'll settle for that," said Angel.
When they got to her house, Buffy noticed
that her moms car was gone. "Oh, no," she said "Where could she be
at this hour...probably looking for me."
"If she is..." Angel started.
"She could be in trouble."
"I'll look around."
"Thank you." Buffy and Angel kissed
one more time, and then he vanished into the shadows. Buffy deposited
her things in her room, and sat up to wait for her mother.
Before Joyce came home, the phone rang.
Buffy answered it, and discovered Cordelia on the other end. "Cordelia.
Why are you calling me so late?"
"I just wanted to let you know that your mom
is all right. Raging mad, but all right."
"Thank god. Where did you see her?"
"She came to the Bronze looking for you.
Harmony dumbfuck told her that you were at the cemetery, and she went there.
I followed her. She ran into Spike and Drusilla, but I held them
off with a cross long enough for Angel to save us."
"Spike and Dru are alive? I have to
tell Giles."
"I think you can wait. Spike looks really
weak. By the way, I killed a vampire tonight."
"Really? Good job!"
"I was pretty proud of myself."
"Cordelia–thank you."
"You've saved my life more times than I can
remember. I figure I owe you something. I think I'm going to
go to a spa tomorrow and make myself even more beautiful then I already
am, if that's even possible. Dusting that vamp really did a number
on my hair. I'd invite you but your mom is going to lock you in the
cellar for the rest of your natural life."
Buffy was amazed how Cordelia could kill a
vampire, face Spike and Dru, and still be more concerned about her hair.
Nothing seemed to faze her. (Besides bad hair.) "I appreciate the
invite...I think, and seriously, I can't thank you enough for helping my
mom. If you need anything..."
"I"ll come over on Sunday and look through
your closet," the fashion queen said, giggling. Buffy said good-bye
and hung up the phone. Cordy was, without a doubt, the most clueless
person she had ever met. Anyone else would be majorly freaked about
the night. Cordy was thinking about clothes. She could be so
sweet, and such a bitch. She was so smart, but such a dumb shit.
She didn't understand her at all. But she had more immediate problems
then analyzing Cordelia. Spike and Drusilla were alive, which meant
that Dru had probably recovered. Plus, her mom was home.
Sometimes Buffy wished she could just tape
record her conversations with her mom, and play back her voice over and
over again. It didn't matter what she said. Her mom would always
look at her like a spoiled, rebellious child. If she only knew...
Buffy wished so hard that she could tell her, but she never would be able
to...
Joyce slammed the front door and stormed into
the living room. "Buffy Summers, get in here now!!"
"I'm right here," she said dryly. She
was tired, just a little sore, and in no mood to either make up excuses
or make nice. She couldn't be punished anymore than she already was,
so she decided just to glare meanly and say as little as possible.
"Where the hell were you tonight?"
"Out."
"Out where?"
"Out of my room."
"You knew you were grounded...no, confined
to your room, and you chose to blatantly ignore me. Why are you doing
this? Are you deliberately trying to hurt me? Do you have any concept
of what it's like to be responsible for someone. Buffy, I'm your
mother. I want what's best for you, but you need to learn to grow
up and take just a little responsibility for your actions!"
Suddenly, Buffy was incensed. It may
have been the quick slayer healing, her pent up emotions, her fragile ego,
her desire for a normal life, or general tiredness resulting from slaying
vampires instead of sleeping, but she had enough. She was tired of
people treating her like trailer trash, some sort of common delinquent.
Everyone in this town would be dead if it wasn't for her.
"You don't know the first god-damned thing
about me. You have no idea what I spend my life doing, you have no
clue what I go through everyday." She burst into tears, unable to
control herself any longer. She had finally broken. She picked
up a lamp and hurled it in her mothers direction, purposely missing her.
"Do you know what I've been through in the last year?" She continued
to throw things, as her mother stood in shock. Buffy's aim was still
good, and she never was in any danger of hitting her mother. "Do
you know what it's like to be uprooted from everything you love, and have
to start all over?" A clock found a new home on the other side of
a wall. "Do you know what it's like to be scorned by everyone
at school, hated by the teachers and hounded by the principal for something
you can't control? Do you know what it's like to be responsible for
someone's life? Do you know what it's like to let them down, and
then have to stand by their grave?" A chair smashed through the window.
"Do know what it's like to be looked at from everyone who sees me like
some sort of freak, while those same people are all alive because of me?
Do you know what it's like to literally have the fate of the world on your
shoulders?" A painting was torn off the wall and smashed over a fake
plant. "You run an art gallery! You're never here, you have
no idea what my life is like! Do you know what it's like to live
in fear for your life every day, and not be able to tell anyone because
then they could die too? To know that you put your best friends in
mortal danger just be being alive...?" Buffy finally was silent,
and Joyce had lost the ability to speak. The room had been destroyed.
The windows were broken, lamps and figurines were strewn about in pieces,
pictures had been torn off the walls, and the furniture was overturned
and pulled about. Buffy stood in the middle of the room, breathing
heavily, staring. Joyce stared back, and then Buffy did the only
thing she could think of. She run. As fast as she could, out
of the house, with no destination in mind. Joyce ran out after her,
screaming her name, but Buffy didn't hear. The tears were flowing
freely, and all she could do to take her mind off the hurt was run.
Joyce went back into her empty house and stared at the destroyed
room. All she could think of was that she had lost her daughter.
Whatever she had done that night suddenly seemed unimportant. Her
daughter had finally gone over the edge, and it was her fault. She
had said those horrible things, and now she had lost Buffy forever.
Somewhere along the line, her fragile mind had snapped, and it was Joyce's
fault. The devastated woman sat on the floor, and did the only thing
she could think of. She cleaned up, eventually passing out on the
sofa in a fit of sobs, preying that Buffy would be all right.
Most nights, vampires would jump at the chance
to attack an emotionally unstable slayer. But not this time.
They could sense Buffy's rage, and they knew that anyone who went up against
her would die. Maybe an ancient demon could take her, but the lowly
vamps who wondered the night didn't stand a chance.
Buffy continued to run until she found herself
at Angel's door. The one vampire with a human soul took one look
at her face, and let her in with no questions. He held her in his
arms until she finally cried herself to sleep, and then laid her on his
bed. He remained up all night keeping watch over her.
Cordelia pulled her car into the garage and
walked into the house. Her parents had gone into L.A. for the week,
so the house was empty. She wished, not for the first time that she
lived in a smaller house. Shadow's lurked on all the walls, and the
wind blowing through the garden in the back made sounds. She was
used to these sounds of the night, but that didn't make them easier to
deal with. She felt completely empty and alone that night, as she
had so often in her house.
She thought about calling one of her friends,
but she knew none of them would be in any position to come over, and she
didn't think that in her current state of mind she would be able to go
to where they were. The temptations would be too difficult.
She wandered around in the darkness for a while, desperately wishing she
wasn't an only child. Her parents spoiled her more, it was true,
but she'd give anything to have grown up with a sister to confide in, or
a brother to protect her. Or even a friend she was that close to.
Like Xander and Willow.
In the months since school had started, she
had found her thoughts continually drawn to the relationship between these
two. Both had saved her life. She wished she was that close
to someone. Nothing bonded her with her friends except cheer leading and
alcohol. It had been enough when she was a freshman and sophomore,
but since she had helped to save the world on prom night everything had
been different. She needed something to fill the empty place in her
chest. She hoped that maybe it would be Xander, if maybe he could
get over his hidden love for Willow or his infatuation for Buffy.
A little voice in Cordelia's head told her
"you know what will help."
"No," she said aloud. "I won't."
"You know you want to."
"I don't want to," she said out loud.
In her mind she thought "I'm talking to myself now. I know that I'm
going insane."
Cordelia went into the kitchen, and took out
a glass. Then she went to the liquor cabinet, pulled out a bottle
of Jack, and poured herself a shot. She sat staring at the liquor
for more than ten minutes, thinking, wishing she would and preying she
wouldn't. She thought of her friends, how she was slipping away from
them. She thought of Xander, who wouldn't get close enough, and Willow
and Buffy who still didn't accept her. Her hand was shaking slightly,
and her breathing was labored. She thought then about killing the
vampire that night, and of saving Mrs. Summers from Spike and Drusilla.
She looked at the glass one more time, and then hurled it across the room,
and watched with satisfaction as the glass and liquor shattered over the
wall and floor. She replaced the Jack in the liquor cabinet and went
up to her room. She didn't bother undressing before she crawled into
bed, curled up into a ball, and cried herself to sleep as she had done
so often in the past.
When Buffy awoke the next morning, Angel's
face looking over her was the first thing that she saw. She smiled
slightly.
"I like waking up with you. I like seeing
you in the morning."
"Buffy, you can't stay here," Angel said.
"You have to go home."
"Angel, I can't. No after what
I said last night, what I did. I lost control."
"Buffy, you have to face it. After everything
you've been through, I know you can handle this."
"Why can't I stay here?"
"Because you're 16. Because you belong
with your mother. Because she's worried about you. Because...because
I couldn't bear it. I love you too much, and if you're here, I'm
not sure I can control myself."
"You mean the demon inside you."
"No. I mean myself. And if we
go too far...the demon could get out. You can't stay here."
"Angel, I thought that we had gotten past
this. We love each other. That's all that matters."
"It's getting so hard. Being with you
is so hard because I love you so much. And somehow, we've made it
work. But if you stay here, sleep here, it'll go too far."
"And why is that so bad?"
"Because I'd surrender my self-control.
And if I do that..."
"The demon could get out."
"Buffy, the last thing I want to do is hurt
you. And we tried to stay apart, but we can't. It's wrong,
it shouldn't be, but it is. I love you, and no matter what happens,
no matter how much I try not to, I still do. But there have to be
limits."
"I know...but do we have to decide anything
now?"
"No. You have to see Giles. Spike
and Drusilla are alive."
"I know. I talked to Cordelia.
Do you know what they're up to?"
"No. Dru mentioned a party, which means
she's gotten her strength back. Something's coming."
"I better go see Giles." She didn't
leave right away. Angel held her in his arms for a few more minutes,
and tears came to her eyes. She left then without saying a word.
It was early on Saturday, and most of the
world was still asleep. Buffy was rarely up at this time in the morning,
but when she was she always enjoyed it. It was so peaceful.
All the evils that lurked in the night were gone, driven away by the sunrise.
She wished that she could wake up in Angel's
arms every morning, and watched the sunrise. She wished that he could
drive the demon from his body, and then he could live as human. And
then they could be together forever. But she knew that could never
be.
She thought about what he had said to her.
About going too far. She knew, of course, what he was referring to.
She was still ambivalent about sex, but she could never picture herself
with anyone but Angel. Of course, she knew he was right. To
surrender to that might bring the demon out, and with the way they felt
about each other she couldn't stay there much longer. But she couldn't
face her mom again. After what she did, her mom must think that she's
lost her mind.
She found herself at Giles house and knocked
on the door. She waited, knocked again, and was about to leave when
he pulled open the door.
"Buffy!" he said, surprised to see her.
"Giles, I'm sorry to wake you up. But
I have to talk to you."
"Of course, come in." Buffy came into
his study and sat down in a chair. She smiled a little at how meticulously
clean it was. "What was it–..."
"Rupert, who is it?" came a voice from the
bedroom, and Buffy almost smiled when she recognized that of Ms. Calendar.
"Oh, it's not...I mean...She didn't spend
the night..." he was about to finish when Ms. Calendar came out in a bathrobe.
"Oh, Buffy," she said. "What are you
doing here so early."
"Buffy, I guess you know Jenn– Ms. Calendar...Yes,
what are you doing here so early?"
"Spike and Drusilla are alive."
"Good heavens, are you sure?"
"Cordelia saved my mom from them last night.
She told me. And Angel confirmed it. He saw them too."
"Good heavens, Cordelia fought Spike and lived?
Perhaps she is more valuable then I believed."
"Rupert!" said Ms. Calendar.
"She held them off with a cross until Angel
arrived. Only a few seconds, but she still saved my mom.
Angel said that Dru is having a party. Obviously that means something
is coming. Angel said it was big."
"I've been having the same feelings," Giles
said. "I was just saying to Jenny, er, Ms. Calendar last night that
I couldn't shake this feeling of dread that I have been having."
"And you needed her to keep you company during
the night."
"Buffy!", both Giles and Jenny exclaimed.
"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.
I...its just that..."
"What is it, Buffy?"
"I had a fight with my mom last night.
I said some stuff...stuff I shouldn't have said. I didn't tell her
about being a slayer, but I almost did. I told her about...I don't
know, being responsible for the world, and all that. She must think
I'm crazy. And then...I left."
"Good heavens, where did you go?"
"I went to Angel's." Giles and Jenny
both gave her a look. "Nothing happened. But Angel and I talked
about...ourselves, our future. I'm scared Giles. I don't know
if there's anything I can count on anymore."
"Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry. I wish I could
tell you how to deal with all of this. I wish I could tell you what
to say to your mother, or how to deal with your feelings for Angel.
I can't, though. Because I have no idea. I can teach you so
much about the undead, and how to fight them, but I can't teach you how
to grow up. You have to learn that on your own. And you've
had to do it much too fast. But just know that I'll always be there
to support you, no matter what."
Buffy didn't say anything, because the pain
in her eyes said enough. Finally, she stood up. "We need to
do something about Spike and Drusilla."
"Ms. Calendar and I will research that today.
Perhaps you should take the today off. From everything. Vampire
slaying, Angel, your mom...you should...I don't know, do something you
do when you don't want to do anything. Like...shop, or eat."
Buffy smiled for the first time that day.
"Thanks. I think I'll do something like that. Have a normal
life."
"I'll, um, check in with you tomorrow."
"All right." With a glance to Ms. Calendar
and another half smile, Buffy walked back out into the sun.
Mrs. Summers was awoken that morning by the
telephone. She had spent the night on the couch, and had been plagued
by nightmares that she could not remember. She saw the wreckage of
the living room, and remembered the fight of the previous night.
She realized with a sinking feeling in her heart that she had to get Buffy
to see a psychiatrist, whether Buffy wanted to or not. After last
night, she doubted her daughter's sanity. What was worse is that
she knew it was her fault.
She answered the phone in a daze. "Hello."
"Mrs. Summers," the voice on the other line
said, "it's Cordelia. I wanted to make sure that you were all right."
"Yes, thank you."
"Is Buffy there." Mrs. Summers didn't
say anything for along time. "Mrs. Summers?"
"Cordelia, Buffy ran away last night.
I don't know where she is."
"Oh my God!"
"Do you have any idea where she could have
gone?"
"No, I don't," Cordelia lied.
"Well, call me if you hear any thing.
I'm going to call Willow."
"I will," Cordelia promised, and hung up the
phone.
Mrs. Summers dialed the Rosenberg's number.
.