the show about nothing, as we all know.
Everything is funny, every single line,
every single week, Thursdays at nine.
If you heard it was funny, but have not seen it before,
you can catch the re-runs on TTV4.*
Jerry
He’s a comedian, and he even shaved his chest,
but now he is jealous, because Banya is the best.
“It’s gold, Jerry, gold!”, is what Banya said,
Jerry’s getting tired of the pesky red-head.
He’s Kramers friend, and he must stay clean,
he’s really nice, and he never gets mean.
His enemy is Newman, Newman delivers the mail,
he tries to ignore him, but he always seems to fail!
He’s had many girlfriends, but its never worked out,
he’s always seeing someone new, who’s he seeing now?
There was the girl who walked around naked, that was pretty cool,
but when he was naked with a belt sander, he looked like a fool!
Then there was the girl whose belly went HHHEEELLLOOO! That gave him a
laugh,
but when Kramer dropped the oil ball, it really went splat!
There was the girl who could snap a lobster like a twig,
she wasn’t very muscular, but here hands were really big!!
He was number one on the speed dial, isn’t that great!
Until his girlfriend’s mom found out, dropped down to number eight.
Elaine
She’s going out with Putty, but they’re always braking up,
about a day later, they’ll be making up.
There is a mannequin that looks just like her,
she’s really kind of selfish, she really could be nicer.
She’s got brown eyes and soft black hair,
but when she gets a temper, you need to get out of there!
She told that woman when she walks, she should really move her arms,
the woman took it the wrong way, and caused Elaine much harm.
George
He’s short and stocky, and pretty bald,
he’s pretty darn lazy, but that’s not all...
His dad can beat him up, his mom is really loud,
Festivus for the rest of us is his daddy’s sound.
He worked for the Yankees, until he got fired,
he got an interview with Play Now, then he got hired.
He acted like he was crippled, and everyone believed him,
His boss found out, now everyone deceives him.
George was really hungry, he needed something quick,
he settled for a twix, he even double dipped!
When you double dip, it’s like putting your mouth in the bowl,
getting more salsa, was Georgy’s goal.
Kramer
Kramer is weird, and kinda tall,
he’s always popping in, and he doesn’t even call.
He’s the man who lives in the shower which is kind of nutty,
whenever you see him, he greets ya with “Hey Buddy!”
His name is Kosmo, and his hair is pretty frizzy,
If you ever need a favor, Kramers never busy.
He hit golf balls on beach, on the range he seems to fail,
a lucky shot, one landed in the blow-hole of a whale.
His name is Jerry, he invented the show,
the show about nothing, as we all know.
Everything is funny, every single line,
every single week, Thursdays at nine.
If you heard it was funny, but have not seen it before,
you can catch the re-runs on TTV4*.
*local T.V. station
By Paul Whiteman
Copyright Geoff Paul Whiteman
