[JERRY and GEORGE are eating at an outdoor table, possibly in a zoo.] JERRY All right. How 'bout this one: let's say you're abducted by aliens. GEORGE Fine. JERRY They haul you aboard the mother ship, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now: would you rather be in their zoo, or their circus? GEORGE I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule. JERRY But in the circus you get to ride around in the train, see the whole planet! GEORGE I'm wearin' a little hat, I'm jumpin' through fire.. They're puttin' their little alien heads in my mouth.. JERRY [resigned] At least it's show business.. GEORGE But in the zoo, you know, they might, put a woman in there with me to uh.. you know, get me to mate. JERRY What if she's got no interest in you? GEORGE W--then I'm pretty much where I am now. At least I got to take a ride on a spaceship. [time: 00:43] [Commercial Break] [Exterior long shot: looking up at an office building] [Interior of office reception area of "Brand/Leland" as GEORGE, JERRY, and KRAMER come in. They calmly keep it quiet.] KRAMER George, why couldn't I use the bathroom in that store? GEORGE Krama, trust me, this is the best bathroom in midtown! KRAMER [frustrated] Wha?? JERRY [dry] He knows. GEORGE {Anyway,} on the left--exquisite marble! High ceilings. An' a flush, like a jet engine! [imitates sound] Ha ha! KRAMER [impressed] Now, listen, uh. You better not wait. I'll catch you later. GEORGE You sure? JERRY [dry] He knows. [KRAMER goes on his mission and they're waiting for the elevator as the RECEPTIONIST calmly arrives, not noticing them. She could be a model.] GEORGE Wow. Nice. JERRY Why don't you try your engagement story? GEORGE [considers, but got into elevator] Won't work. JERRY Are you sure? GEORGE [wry] He knows. [Reggie's diner. ELAINE and KEVIN, a geekish nice guy in a red jacket, are eating at a table. ELAINE is a little bored, dreading.] ELAINE Look. Kevin. I really like you, heh, heh, uh. But, um, maybe we'd be, better off just being.. friends. [takes a bite of her sandwich] KEVIN Friends? ELAINE Well. I mean. [distracted by the food] Oh, god. This tuna tastes like an old sponge. KEVIN Friends. Yeah! Why not friends? I might like to try that! Like you an' Jerry! [Men's room door. Flush sound and "Wooo!".] [Down the hall, a MAN in a suit is trying to use the copier as KRAMER comes out of the men's room affecting nonchalance.] MAN [frustrated] Damn thing is jammed again.. KRAMER You know what happens with these? The rollers, they get flat spots on 'em. [hits button several times and whacks it] MAN #2 [rushing by, tense] Hey Leland wants everyone in the conference room right now. MAN Come on, let's go. KRAMER [absently wants to be part of it] Oh, yeah--yeah.. [follows them] [Monk's. GEORGE, JERRY, and ELAINE at a booth.] ELAINE [to JERRY] Remember I was telling you about Gillian, my friend who writes for the L.L. Bean catalogue? I really think you should give her a call. JERRY [doubtful] I don't know, do you have a-- [ELAINE has anticipated the question, gives him her picture.] JERRY Not bad. Wuh--what does she-- ELAINE [dry] I put her stats on the back. JERRY Pretty impressive--"Serious boyfriend '92 to '95." Owns her own car.. "Favorite president: James Polk!" [ELAINE had echoed: "Uh-huh. Yup." during it] GEORGE Hnn! Let me see that. JERRY [hands it to him as he asks ELAINE] So how'd it go with Kevin? Did you, steel-toe his ass back to Kentucky? ELAINE [laughs in appreciation] You are not gonna believe this! I told him that I just wanted to be friends. He's fine with it. He really wants to be friends. JERRY Why would anybody want a friend. ELAINE [dread] Uh. It's really not that bad, actually. He said he'd even go with me to the Museum of Miniatures. This is something you would never ever do. JERRY I mean all that stuff is so small.. [(ELAINE is wryly assessing him)] stupid.. GEORGE [still looking at that picture] You know if I told my engagement story to that receptionist, but told her this, was my fiancée.. JERRY What? GEORGE Don't you see. Women like that are like, members of a secret tribe living in a forbidden city. People like me have not been inside in thousands of years.. But with this, it's like I've already been with one of her own! My hands been stamped! I come and go as I please! ELAINE [wry, not impressed] Well you cracked it! I warned the Queen you were gettin' close an', now it looks like we're gonna have to move the whole damn forbidden city. [chuckles with JERRY] GEORGE [getting up] Can I keep this? ELAINE No, I need it. GEORGE [absently leaving with it] Thanks. [The Brand/Leland office reception area. GEORGE comes in off elevator to the RECEPTIONIST (AMANDA).] GEORGE Hi. I'm ah, I'm here to see a Mr. Art Vandelay.. AMANDA I'm sorry sir, there is no Mr. Vandelay here.. GEORGE [taking out wallet] Well, let me. Heh. Let me just eh.. check an', make sure I have the right man--ha! Heh, heh, heh! Seems--oh! I, oh! [has conveniently dropped the photo into her view] AMANDA Oh! She's beautiful! Who is she? GEORGE [humble] Well, if you must know, shhhe, was my fiancée, Susan. May she rest in peace. AMANDA Oh, sorry.. She was lovely. I'm Amanda. GEORGE [shaking hands] I'm George. [As they continue talking, MAN3 and KRAMER go to the elevator.] MAN3 Good work today, K-man! KRAMER Well, you know what they say, you don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle. MAN3 Heh, heh! KRAMER {You want a drink? I'm buyin'.} MAN3 In that case, make mine a double! [They yuck it up, getting on the elevator.] [Night at a restaurant. JERRY and GILLIAN meet.] GILLIAN Jerry? JERRY Gillian. Hiii.. GILLIAN Very nice to meet you. JERRY It's nice to meet you! [They're shaking hands and he notices hers are like a man's--nice enough, but big, beefy.] [Day, at Monk's. JERRY and ELAINE are in a booth.] JERRY She had man-hands. ELAINE [pause] Man, Hands? JERRY The hands of a man. It's like a creature out of Greek Mythology, I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast. ELAINE [weary] {Look,} would you, prefer it, if she had, no hands at all? JERRY Would she have hooks? ELAINE Do uh, do hooks make it more attractive, Jerry? JERRY Kinda cool lookin'.. ELAINE [getting up to go] Uh.. Listen, you're picking me up from my {place tomorrow}-- JERRY [leaving too] Yeah. Yeah. ELAINE Okay, I've got five, huge boxes of {buttons}. JERRY Right. Well if you need an extra set of hands, I know who you can call-- ELAINE [weary] Jerry! [Early morning in Jerry's "house," a tea kettle is whistling. KRAMER's cooking breakfast as JERRY comes out of the bedroom, tired but surprised. He's in his pajamas. KRAMER's wearing a suit and oven mitts.] JERRY Kramer?! KRAMER Hey buddy! Hey! JERRY It--eight o'clock in the morning! What the hell is goin' on?! KRAMER Breakfast. I gotta be in at Brand/Leland by nine. JERRY Why?? KRAMER Because I'm workin' there, that's why. JERRY [disoriented] How long have I been asleep? What--what year is this? KRAMER Jerry. I don't know if you've noticed, but lately, I've been drifting, aimlessly? JERRY [snaps fingers] Now that you mention it. KRAMER But I finally realized what's missing, in my life. Structure. An' at Brand/Leland, I'm gettin' things done. An' I love the people I'm workin' with. JERRY How much are they payin' you? KRAMER Oh, no, no, no-no--I don't want any pay. I'm doin' this just for me. JERRY Really. So uh, what do you do down there all day? KRAMER T.C.B. You know, takin' care o' business. Aa--I gotta go. JERRY All right. KRAMER [leaving] I'll see you tonight, huh? [turning back, grabs his briefcase] Forget my briefcase. JERRY W-w-wha' you got in there? KRAMER [as he leaves with it] Crackers. [MUSIC (Sheena Easton's "Morning Train (Nine to Five)") accompanies assorted shots of working-man KRAMER: Getting on the subway (everyone else is going the opposite direction). Washing his shoes at the water cooler. Eating rolls of crackers out of his briefcase. Laughing it up after hours with co-workers at a TGIF-type restaurant.] [JERRY at home on the phone. GEORGE is on the other end.] JERRY So the picture worked. Amazing! GEORGE Hey, she wants me to dress uh "smart casual." What uh, what is that? JERRY I don't know, but you don't have it. GEORGE Right. Bye. [ELAINE comes in, appalled, shrugging at JERRY. He doesn't know why so shrugs back.] ELAINE Where were you today? JERRY What? ELAINE Pick. Up. JERRY [whispers] Damn. ELAINE So? Where were you?! JERRY Uh, here I guess, an' uh, uh I went out and picked up a paper. ELAINE [irritated, throwing down her bag] I had to ask Kevin, to leave his office an' come an' pick me up! JERRY So? What are friends for? ELAINE Yeah! An' he is a friend, Jerry. He is reliable. He is considerate. He's like your, exact opposite. JERRY So he's Bizarro Jerry! ELAINE [pause] Bizarro Jerry? JERRY Yeah. Like Bizarro Superman. Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards bizarro world. Up is Down. Down is Up. He says "Hello" when he leaves, "Good bye" when he arrives. ELAINE [pause] Shouldn't he say "Bad bye"? Isn't that the, opposite of "Good bye"? JERRY No. It's still a goodbye. ELAINE Uh. Does he live underwater? JERRY No. ELAINE Is he black.. JERRY Look. Just, forget it, {already}. All right? [KRAMER enters, exhausted, frazzled.] KRAMER Wow. Man. What a day. Could I use a drink. [starts getting a drink and ice] JERRY Tough day at the office? KRAMER Just comin' in, an' that phone just wouldn't stop. JERRY Well, we better get goin' if we're gonna go to that uh, seven o'clock cold fusion. KRAMER Yeah. Well, count me out. I'm swimmin'. Old man Leland is bustin' my hump over these reports. If I don't get 'em done by nine, I'm toast.. [{takes a swig and reacts}] [Exterior of cheap-looking bar with neon "V"s on the outside. Then interior, it's a black-walled dance bar full of gorgeous women and GEORGE and AMANDA.] GEORGE This is a fantastic place! I always thought it was a meat packing plant! [Three female MODELS come up to them.] MODEL #1 Hey! Amanda! AMANDA These are my friends. Anabelle, Justina, and Nikki. We used to model together. GEORGE Oh! Modelling! What's that like? Fun? Ha ha. [to self in head] Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! AMANDA So Nikki, uh, how was Paris this time? MODEL #2 [petulant] A bore. GEORGE You know, I used to love Paris. My uh, dead Fiancée, Susan.. [opening wallet] In fact I. think I, I may have a picture of her.. [shows them the picture] MODEL #3 [awed] Wow.. She was beautiful.. Do you wanna dance? [Exterior of a restaurant.] [Close-up of GILLIAN's man-hands tearing restaurant bread in half.] [GILLIAN and JERRY at a table in a restaurant. JERRY's hiding his horror of her hands.] GILLIAN Would you like some bread, Jerry? JERRY No.. No thanks, I'm, just not hungry. GILLIAN Well, then at least drink your beer.. [she's opening the bottle--brief closeup on hands] JERRY [to self] Oh. Twist off.. GILLIAN You have a little something on your face. JERRY I can get it. [feeling his face] GILLIAN Eh, no-no, No-no.. You're missing it, it's higher. [reaches over] [A close-up of his face while a man-hand is getting the very small thing. He's uneasy.] GILLIAN [friendly] It's an eyelash. Make a wish. [Closeup of his face with her outstretched finger in front of him.] JERRY I don't want to. GILLIAN Make a wish. JERRY Okay. [closes eyes, blows on her finger, opens eyes, says to self] Didn't come true. GILLIAN [smiles at him] Don't you just love lobster? [Closeup of her man-hands tearing open a lobster.] [Night, ELAINE and KEVIN walking into Reggie's diner.] KEVIN That Museum of Miniatures was amazing. ELAINE I know, he's so tiny! [Two guys are sitting in a booth and KEVIN sees them, motioning ELAINE to come along.] KEVIN Yeah! Hey--hey guys! Elaine, sit down. These are a couple o' my friends. Uh, this is Gene. And this guy, we.. just call "Feldman!" [GENE is short and bald with glasses. Feldman is tall and a little goofy-looking. ELAINE sits with them.] ELAINE [to self in head] Bizarro world.. [time: 10:33] [Commercial Break] [Day, JERRY and GEORGE at Monk's.] GEORGE [delighted] Jerry? It was incredible! Models! As far as the eye could see! JERRY Then it does exist. GEORGE Yes. The legends are true. JERRY So when are you goin' out with this girl again? GEORGE I'm not! I'm inside the walls! JERRY So you're gonna burn that bridge. GEORGE Flame on! [Reggie's, FELDMAN, GENE, and KEVIN are at a booth when ELAINE comes and sits with them.] GENE [about the check] I got it. KEVIN [grabs it] No. You got it last time. GENE [calmly takes it] Don't worry about it. ELAINE [to self in head] This is unbelievable.. FELDMAN Hey Elaine, what do you think of an alarm clock, that automatically tells you the weather when you wake up? ELAINE Well, I gotta say that I think that that is a fantastic idea, Feldman! FELDMAN Nah, it's not--it's just not practical. KEVIN [getting up] Well. See ya later, Elaine. Feldman an' I 'a' gotta get down 'o the library. [the three guys are leaving] ELAINE What are you gonna do down there? KEVIN Read! ELAINE [pause, then vaguely waves while watching them leave] Hello? [At Jerry's, JERRY and KRAMER eating breakfast. KRAMER's tired, preoccupied with the paper, JERRY's in a blue robe eating cereal and orange juice.] JERRY So, uh. Gillian's comin' over later. I think I'm gonna end it. KRAMER Uh-huh. JERRY Those meaty paws, I feel like I'm dating George the Animal, {steer}. KRAMER Yeah.. JERRY Maybe I'll chain her to the refrigerator an' sell tickets. KRAMER That's nice.. JERRY Kramer, put the paper down! You never listen to me anymore! We hardly even talk! KRAMER Well, we're, talkin' now, aren't we?-- JERRY I sit here for twenty lousy minutes in the morning-- KRAMER Oh here we go-- JERRY An' then when you come home at night, you're always exhausted--we never do anything anymore! KRAMER What are you starting with me for? You know this is my crazy time o' year?! JERRY [pause] It's your third day.. KRAMER [grabs briefcase to leave] I gotta go to work. We'll talk about this later. [leaves] JERRY Well. [calling down the hall] Call if you're gonna be late! [ELAINE's arrived.] ELAINE What? What is goin' on with you two? JERRY Oh, I don't wanna talk about it.. ELAINE All right, listen. Have you seen my addre-- [sees address book on counter] --ah! There it is. Okay. I got it. I'll see you later. [leaving] JERRY Hey! Wait! Wait! Wait a second! Where you goin'? I-I hardly ever see you anymore. ELAINE [stops, pause] Well, I. [a little ashamed] I guess I been at Reggie's.. JERRY The Bizarro coffeeshop? ELAINE Kevin and his friends are nice people! They do good things. They read.. JERRY I read. ELAINE Books, Jerry. JERRY [pause] Oh. Big deal.. ELAINE Well! I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this stinking apartment every ten minutes to pore over the, excruciating minutia, of every, single, daily event.. JERRY {What's goin' on,} like yesterday, I go to the bank to make a deposit, an' the teller gives me this look, like-- ELAINE I'll see you later man. I gotta go. JERRY [frustrated, to self] The whole system is breakin' down! [GEORGE in his bathroom, drying his hair, looking at Gillian's picture. In the background, on a door, is a poster of a closeup of Dennis Franz in black and white. The phone rings and GEORGE puts the picture and blow-drier together on the side of the sink--the dryer's still running.] GEORGE Hello? Amanda. Hi, yes. Listen. You know, I'm thinkin', we might just be better of bein' friends. Yeah. Yeah, you know what, I can't even really talk about it right now. Bye-bye. [hangs up] [happy with himself, but then sees the burned up photo] No! No! [At Jerry's, JERRY and GILLIAN.] GILLIAN Friends. Just friends. JERRY Yeah. GILLIAN Yeah. All right. Well, do you still want to see a movie later? JERRY I wish I could, but, we're friends.. GILLIAN I'm just gonna go, wash my hands. JERRY Good idea. [phone's ringing, goes to it] [muttering] There's a beach towel on the rack.. [to phone] Yeah. GEORGE [frantic] Jerry! Jerry, muh--muh--my hair-dryer ruined the picture! An' I need another one or I can't get back into the forbidden city! JERRY [to drive him crazy] Who is this.. GEORGE Jerry! I need you to get another picture of man-hands. I'm beggin' you! JERRY [pause] If I get it for you, will you take me to that club an' show me a good time? GEORGE Yes! Yes, all right--anything! [JERRY looks toward the bathroom--GILLIAN's taking forever--she's got quite a job there. He opens her purse and peeks around in it. Close-up of his hand getting the picture.] JERRY Got it. [but now a man-hand grabs his arm] Uh! [Jerry's house, it's dark, JERRY is sitting at the table waiting up as KRAMER comes in and turns on the light.] KRAMER Jerry. Hey Jerry? JERRY I'm right here. [note: he has an athletic bandage on his right hand] You're late. KRAMER Yeah, well, I got held up, you know. What happened to your hand? JERRY Like you care. KRAMER The work piled up, I lost track of time-- JERRY [calmly getting up with plate of chicken] Oh! Sure! Sure! You an' your work! Elaine's off in the Bizarro World, George only calls when he wants something, an' I'm left sitting here like this plate of cold chicken, which, by the way, [drops chicken into sink] was, for two. KRAMER You cooked? JERRY [calm] I ordered in. It's still effort. KRAMER [in pain] Ow! Jeez! JERRY What's wrong? KRAMER {Ow!} It's my stomach. JERRY You're probably gettin' an ulcer. This job is killing you! It's killing Us. KRAMER [putting briefcase down] You know what? You're right. These reports, they can wait a couple of hours. Whadda say we go out tonight? Any place you want. JERRY The coffeeshop? KRAMER You got it, buddy. JERRY [pleased] I'll call George! [Night exterior. GEORGE, JERRY, and KRAMER walking down the street. Down the sidewalk is ELAINE coming out of a shop by a liquor store.] JERRY Hey. Isn't that Elaine? GEORGE [quiet, desperate] Maybe she can get me another picture of man-hands. [calling] Elaine! JERRY Elaine! KRAMER Elaine! ALL THREE Elaine! Elaine! [ELAINE finally notices them, but suddenly from the other direction, three other guys are coming: GENE, KEVIN, and FELDMAN.] KEVIN Hey! Elaine! Hi-i! Over here! [Eerie music as ELAINE looks one way, then the other. All the MEN continue walking toward her. They all meet by her. To the left of ELAINE are KEVIN, GENE, and FELDMAN. To the right of her are KRAMER, GEORGE, and JERRY. It's like a bizarre mirroring.] ELAINE Jerry.. George, Kramer.. This is Kevin, Gene.. and Feldman. [The MEN murmur "How ya doin'..", "Good to meet you.."] JERRY [quietly crept out] This is really weird.. [KRAMER's drinking--a bottle of Pepto Bismol.] ELAINE [diplomatically to KEVIN, GENE, and FELDMAN] Could you guys excuse us, just for a moment. KEVIN Sure. [strolls away with his friends] ELAINE [pause] Thanks. [to JERRY, GEORGE, and KRAMER] What.. what do you guys want.. GEORGE Elaine, I got to have another picture of Gillian. JERRY I tried to get him one but Man-Hands almost ripped my arm out of the socket! [While the three argue briefly, ELAINE looks over to see where KEVIN and FRIENDS are. They are friendly giving a beggar money.] KEVIN {Here ya are.} ELAINE [pause, turns back to JERRY et al.] Guys. I gotta go. Take it easy. [GEORGE tentatively follows her a couple steps.] GEORGE Elaine? [she turns, sighing] Can I come? ELAINE I'm, I'm sorry.. We've already got a George.. [KEVIN, GENE, and FELDMAN cheerily/nicely turn to ELAINE as she joins them. They all go on companionably. JERRY, GEORGE, and KRAMER look on awkwardly.] [Day, interior of Brand/Leland, KRAMER's in LELAND's office. LELAND's a greying man.] KRAMER What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland? LELAND Kramer, I've.. been reviewing your work.. Quite frankly, it stinks. KRAMER Well, I ah.. been havin' trouble at home and uh.. I mean, ah, you know, I'll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes.. LELAND No, no, I don't think that's going to, do it, uh. These reports you handed in. It's almost as if you have no business training at all.. I don't know what this is supposed to be! KRAMER Well, I'm uh, just--tryin' to get ahead.. LELAND Well, I'm sorry. There's just no way that we could keep you on. KRAMER I don't even really work here! LELAND That's what makes this so difficult. [Night, GEORGE at the forbidden city.] GEORGE Hi. George. MODEL #4 Are you sure you're supposed to be here? GEORGE Oh, yeah. Yeah. I used to come here all the time with my fiancée, back when it was a meat-packing plant. Ha. Here's her picture. [hands her a magazine page] MODEL #4 What'd you do? Cut this out of a magazine or something? GEORGE Huh? MODEL #5 That's me? It's from a Clinique ad I did.. GEORGE Ha! Heh. [Muscled BOUNCER comes up.] BOUNCER Let's go. Private party. [escorts him out] [Night, Kevin's apartment. The doorbell rings. KEVIN gets up to get it. GENE is reading on the couch. The apartment layout and furniture is the reverse of Jerry's--what's to the left in Jerry's is to the right at Kevin's. Also, Kevin's furnishings have more earth tones.] KEVIN Who is it? ELAINE [off-camera] It's Lainey! KEVIN [unlocks, opens door] Hi Elaine! [warmly hugs her] ELAINE Hi {?}. Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh! KEVIN Come on in! ELAINE Okay. Hi Gene! [comfortably tosses her bag to the left, it falls on the floor] Uh-ha! [smiling, picks up her bag, puts it on a chair that's to the right] [As KEVIN gets back to reading, ELAINE looks around, noting how everything is the reverse. There's a unicycle on the wall. There's a bookcase near the couch. She goes to the kitchen. He has whole foods, not cereal boxes.] ELAINE What's up? KEVIN [friendly] Just reading.. [ELAINE decides to make herself at home, opens the refrigerator and starts eating olives out of a jar, with her fingers. In the living room area, KEVIN is looking at her. Note: a statue of Bizarro Superman on a stereo speaker.] KEVIN Hey.. What're you doing? ELAINE Eatin' olives. KEVIN Have you ever heard of asking? [door bell rings] Who is it? FELDMAN [off-screen] Feldman.. From across the hall. KEVIN [drops his suspicion and smiles, goes to door] Hold on. [unlocks and opens door] Hey. FELDMAN He-ey, Kevin! KEVIN Hi. FELDMAN Look who I ran into. [VARGUS, a heavy Fed-Ex guy comes into view in the hall.] VARGUS [testy] Hello, Kevin.. KEVIN [testy] Hello, Vargus.. [They both break into grins, chuckling--it was a joke.] KEVIN Ya wanna catch a ballgame this weekend? VARGUS Great! I'll see ya later! [leaves] KEVIN Okay. [to self, smiling] Vargus.. [to FELDMAN] {So?} FELDMAN I got 'em.. KEVIN All right! Hey, Elaine, Feldman was able to get us all tickets to the Bolshoi! ELAINE Oh! [comes to him] KEVIN [enthused] Fourth row, center. ELAINE Get out! [pushes him back, but he falls back on the floor!] [GENE and FELDMAN rush to KEVIN, who's hurt!] GENE [to ELAINE] What is the matter with you? ELAINE Oh, Kevin! I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? GENE? Haven't you done enough already? [Embarrassed, she grabs her bag and tries to leave. But the locks are set and the rape chain's in place. She tries to undo the locks.] ELAINE [turning to them, awkward] It's locked.. [The meat-packing plant. GEORGE and JERRY are walking around. The walls are still black, but there's no furniture and there are sides of beef hanging on hooks, sawdust on the floor. They are the only people there. GEORGE is dismayed, and bumps into a side of beef in his distraction.] JERRY So this is it, huh? GEORGE But it--eh.. It was here, I'm tellin' you, an' w--w--it was really here! The, there was, a, bar, and a, an' a dance floor.. JERRY [dry] I guess the DJ booth was over there behind the bone saw? [really disappointed] Get out of here George. [Shot of their feet in the sawdust as they walk out. There is the magazine photo GEORGE had brought there the previous night.] [time: 10:52] [Commercial Break] [Day, exterior of an apartment building. As credits run, the familiar Seinfeld interlude music, but done via corny "Brady Bunch"-esque sound effects.] [Interior of Kevin's apartment. GENE and KEVIN are talking.] GENE At work today, I discovered there's a payphone in the lobby that has free long distance. KEVIN Oh, so what did you do? GENE I called the phone company an' immediately reported the error. KEVIN Nice. [doorbell rings] Who is it? FELDMAN [off-screen] Feldman.. From across the hall. KEVIN [smiles, relieved] Hold on. [GENE's arranging fruit as KEVIN goes to unlock and open the door. FELDMAN's carrying two paper bags of groceries.] FELDMAN Kevin! Brought some groceries. KEVIN Again?! Feldman, you didn't have to do that! FELDMAN Hey, what are friends for? KEVIN You know, I may not say this enough but you two are about the best friends a guy could have. [They have a long smarmy group hug.] KEVIN [eyes closed in hug] Oh. Me so happy. Me want to cry.