SEASON 7
THE ENGANGEMENT -- Episode 105 (09/21/95)
After bad dates and break-ups, George and Jerry decide to 'grow-up', be men and learn to commit to a relationship. George calls Susan, the NBC executive he once dated, and proposes marriage - and she accepts. (Susan became a lesbian but 'it didn't take.') Jerry backs out on this agreement and George quickly discovers how his bachelor life is drastically changing. Elaine is awakened each night by a barking dog and Kramer convinces her to allow Newman to solve this problem. Elaine, Kramer and Newman kidnap the dog and drop him off in New Jersey. The dog finds his way back home and Elaine, Kramer and Newman are arrested.
Writer: Larry David
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Wayne Knight, Estelle Harris
THE POSTPONEMENT -- Episode 106 (09/28/95)
After George becomes engaged to Susan, he fears the December wedding date and asks Susan to postpone the date to March. Susan cries until she gets the December date. After consulting with Jerry, George tries to postpone the date again and eventually Susan caves in when George begins to cry. Elaine confides in Rabbi Kirschbaum and tells of her bitterness and jealousy over George's engagement. The Rabbi exposes Elaine's secrets to Jerry and gossips to everyone about their confidential conversation. The rabbi eventually tells of Elaine's secrets on his TV talk show. Kramer tries to sneak a cafe latte under his shirt into the movie theatre and it spills and burns his stomach. He decides to sue the coffee company because it was too hot.
Writer: Larry Davis
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Bruce Mahler
THE MAESTRO -- Episode 107 (10/05/95)
Elaine dates Kramer's friend, Bob, who conducts for the Policeman's Benevolent Association, and prefers to be called 'The Maestro.' Jerry is suspicious of 'The Maestro' because he claims that he rents a house in Tuscany and there are no other houses for rent. Jerry tries to get more information about rentals in Tuscany from Poppie's cousin, Ciccio who is 'connected.' Although he was only inquiring, Jerry gets pressured into renting the house from Ciccio. Kramer hires an attorney, Jackie Chilies, to represent him in his coffee burn case and the company wants to settle. Kramer's burn goes away after he puts on Chinese balm from 'The Maestro.' Kramer fears no settlement and jumps at their offer of free cafe lattes at all of their stores. George's fiancee, Susan, takes him shopping at her uncle's store to dress him in brighter clothes. George sees that the security guard is always standing and decides to offer him a chair. The security guard falls asleep and the store is robbed.
Writer: Larry David
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Mark Metcalf, Paul Michael, Phil Morris
THE WINK -- Episode 108 (10/12/95)
Jerry squirts grapefruit pulp in George's eyes and it makes him wink all the time. His boss, Mr. Wilhelm, misreads George's wink and thinks he knows more about Morgan's tardiness than he's letting on. Jerry starts dating Elaine's cousin, Holly, who loves eating meat. Jerry does not share her love for meat and hides his meat during meals so not to look like a wimp. Elaine starts dating James, her wake-up service operator, after comments on her sexy morning voice. Kramer misreads one of George's winks and sells an autographed birthday card for Mr. Steinbrenner for cash. Kramer locates the buyer, little Bobby who is a bed ridden little boy in a hospital. Kramer makes a deal with little Bobby that Paul O'Neill will hit two home runs in the next game in exchange for the birthday card.
Writer: Tom Gammill, Max Pross
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Richard Herd, Tom Wright, Stacey Travis
THE HOT TUB -- Episode 109 (10/19/95)
Kramer buys his friend's hot tub and installs it in his apartment. Elaine's friend, Jean-Paul stays with her while he is in town for the New York marathon. Jean-Paul is famous for oversleeping and missing the Olympic marathon 4 years ago and Jerry becomes obsessed about Elaine's wake-up system for raceday. George appears busy in his newly promoted position by acting annoyed and frustrated in front of his co-workers. This concerns George's boss, Mr. Wilhelm, and he has George take the Houston Astros' representatives out on the town for a good time. George learns how the friendly boys from Texas talk - calling each other 'sonabitches' and 'bastards' and he and Jean-Paul adapt this new casual greeting which subsequently gets them in trouble. Jerry convinces Jean-Paul to stay at his apartment to ensure an early wake-up call but Kramer's new hot tub blows a fuse in the building and the alarm clock never goes off.
Writer: Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Jeremiah Birkett, Richard Herd, Kate Mulligan
THE SOUP NAZI -- Episode 110 (11/02/95)
Jerry takes the gang to get great soup at a soup stand but warns them of the 'Soup Nazi' behind the counter. Jerry explains that you must order your soup a certain way, make no small talk and take two steps to your left. If you order incorrectly, he gets very angry and banishes you from his soup stand. Jerry and his new girlfriend, Sheila, annoy everyone with their public displays of affection. George tries to out do Jerry in the affection game with Susan, and she really likes it. Elaine can't move her new armoire into her apartment on Sundays, so she asks Kramer to guard it outside her apartment. While Kramer is on watch, two flamboyant robbers, Bob and Ray, casually steal Elaine's new armoire. The Soup Nazi gives an armoire to Kramer who in turn gives it to Elaine. Inside this armoire are all of the Soup Nazi's soup recipes.
Writer: Spike Feresten
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Larry Thomas, Alexandrea Wentworth, Heidi Swedberg
THE SECRET CODE -- Episode 111 (11/09/95)
George refuses to tell anyone his ATM code, especially Susan. Jerry is hired to do some TV spots for Leapin' Learry's Appliance Warehouse but offends Leapin' Larry when his leg falls asleep and he limps out of his office, mocking Leapin' Larry's prosthetic leg. Elaine is offended by a friend, Fred, who doesn't remember meeting her at a party. Fred remembers every detail of the party except his conversation with Elaine. Kramer buys a police scanner and is determined to help the fire and police department take the short cuts which only he knows. Jerry, Elaine and George were scheduled to have dinner with Elaine's boss, J. Peterman, but Jerry and Elaine bailed out leaving George to dine with J. Peterman alone. After dinner, J. Peterman must rush to his dying mother's bedside and brings George with him. While George is sitting with Momma Peterman, he expresses his concerns of revealing his ATM code and tells her that the code is "bosco". Momma Peterman screams 'bosco' as she breathes her last breath leaving J. Peterman with many questions about bosco. After Jerry apologizes to Leapin' Larry, his leg falls asleep again kicking over a can of paint thinner which ignites some exposed wiring. The store catches on fire and the fire department rushes to the scene with Kramer trying to lead the way.
Writer: Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Lewis Arquette, Fred Stoller
THE POOL GUY -- Episode 112 (11/16/95)
Jerry runs into the pool guy from his new health club, Ramon, at the movies and Ramon won't leave him alone. Ramon tells everyone at the club that they went out together, stops by Jerry's apartment unannounced etc... Jerry tells Ramon that they are not friends and Ramon is offended believing Jerry won't be friends because Ramon is 'the pool guy.' So Ramon starts 'harassing' Jerry at the club by leaving smelly clothes near his locker and taking his towel while he's swimming. Realizing that she has no female friends, Elaine asks Susan to lunch. They begin a friendship which angers George because it combines his two separate worlds: the Jerry, Kramer, Elaine world and the Susan world. Kramer's new phone number is a digit off of the movie line and he receives calls all day long for movie information. Soon Kramer becomes a live movie line operator giving movie information to callers, including George and Elaine.
Writer: David Mandel
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest cast: Carols Jacott, Heidi Swedberg, Wayne Knight
THE SPONGE -- Episode 113 (12/07/95)
Elaine panics after learning that the 'Today Sponge' is discontinued. She buys the last case and becomes very selective of who is 'sponge-worthy.' Jerry starts dating Lena, a very charitable woman who is walking in the AIDS walk-a-thon and he thinks she is too good for him. After learning that Jerry changes the size of his jeans to 31 instead of 33, she breaks up with him. Kramer walks in the AIDS walk-a-thon but refuses to wear the red ribbon causing a fight with armoire stealing Bob and Cedric. George learns that Susan also uses the 'Today Sponge,' and pleads with Elaine to spare one, which she does not!
Writer: Peter Mehlman
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest cast: Jennifer Guthrie, Yul Yazquez, John Paragon
THE GUM -- Episode 114 (12/14/95)
Kramer remodels the Alex Theater with the help of Lloyd Braun. Lloyd Braun screwed up the Dinkins campaign and had a nervous breakdown and spent time in an institution. George thinks that the cashier at Monks is short changing him and becomes paranoid. Jerry becomes obsessed with Lloyd Braun's Chinese gum and is determined to get it. Elaine believes that she is starting to swallow objects, such as a toy submarine from the cereal box, her antique button from her shirt and a fly.
Writer: Tom Gammill, Max Pross
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest cast: Matt Mc Coy, Ruthie Cohen, Sandy Ward, Mary Jo Kee
THE RYE -- Episode 115 (01/04/96)
George's parents meet Susan's parents for the first time and they bring special marble rye bread for the dinner which her parents never offer with the dinner. This offends the Costanzas, so Frank Costanza sneaks the rye bread out of their house. Embarrassed by this, George and Jerry try to sneak the rye bread back into Susan's parents' house before they notice it's missing. Kramer over fills his car and apartment with groceries from the Price Club and takes over driving a friend's horse-drawn carriage. Kramer drives Susan's parents around New York in the horse-drawn carriage. Elaine's new boyfriend, John, plays a jazz horn and is very 'spongeworthy' although he does not 'do everything' in bed.
Writer: Carol Leifer
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest cast: Heidi Swedberg, Jerry Stiller, Estelle Harris
THE CADDY -- Episode 116 (01/25/96)
George's car sits in the Yankee parking lot for days as he waits for his auto club membership to kick in to get a free locksmith to get his keys out. Steinbrenner and Wilhelm notice George's car is always at work and are convinced that he is working very long hours. George and Susan go to the re-built cabin, thinking that George's car is doing his work for him. George panics thinking that there might be flyers collecting on his car and asks Jerry to go clean his car. Kramer starts golfing with Stan the caddy, who believes that Kramer could go pro. Elaine meets up with an old friend, Sue Ellen, who never wears a bra, so Elaine gives her a bra for her birthday. Sue Ellen wears the bra as a shirt with a blazer and causes Jerry and Kramer to get into an accident in George's car, throwing out Kramer's shoulder. Wilhelm spots George's wrecked car with blood and cannot locate George so Steinbrenner tells Estelle and Frank that George is dead. Fearing that his golf career is over, Kramer retains attorney Jack Chilies to sue Sue Ellen. Jerry starts a relationship with Sue Ellen. Kramer's case blows up when Stan, the caddy, coaches Kramer and Jackie Chilies into having Sue Ellen try on the bra for the jury - and it doesn't fit.
Writer: Andy Robin, Gregg Kavet
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest cast: Richard Herd, Heidi Swedberg, Armin Shimerman
THE SEVEN -- Episode 117 (02/01/96)
George wants to name his baby (when and if he has one) with Susan 'Seven', Mickey Mantle's number. Susan tells her pregnant cousin, Carrie and her husband Ken of this name and they decide to name their baby 'Seven'. Jerry starts dating Christie who always wears the same outfit when they go out. Jerry is determined to find out if they are the same clothes or if she has a closet full of the same outfit. Elaine buys a girl's stingray bike at an antique store and injures her neck carrying if off the wall. Kramer gets rid of Elaine's pain with shiatsu and feels he deserves the bike. Elaine refuses and Newman steps in as an impartial negotiator to settle their dispute and offer his judgment. Kramer begins to keep written track of the food he eats out of Jerry's refrigerator and promises to pay Jerry at the end of each week.
Writer: Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Shannon Holt, Ken Hudson Campbell
THE CADILLAC -- Episode 118 (02/08/96)
Jerry visits his mom and dad, and buys his dad a new cadillac. Because of the new car, the condo association believes that Morty is stealing from their funds and they try to impeach him as president. Kramer is caught getting free cable and the cable guy must come to his apartment to shut it off. Kramer painfully remembers waiting for endless hours for the cable guy, who never showed up, and decides to make the cable guy wait as well. George meets Elaine's friend, Katy, who tells him that she knows Marisa Tomei and that he is just her type. George contemplates about being engaged and going out with Marisa Tomei as he watches 'My Cousin Vinny' and 'Only You'. So George does go out with Marisa Tomei, who thinks he is charming.
Note: This episode an hour long!
Writer: Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Liz Sheridan, Barney Martin, Walter Olkewicz
THE SHOWER HEAD -- Episode 119 (02/15/96)
A new low flow shower head is installed in Jerry's apartment complex, giving Jerry, Kramer and Newman flat hair and forcing them to turn to black market turbo shower heads. Helen and Morty Seinfeld are staying with Uncle Leo after being kicked out of their Florida condo complex. Uncle Leo is staying with his girlfriend, Lydia in order to give the Seinfelds more room. During an appearance on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno', Jerry insults Uncle Leo which makes Lydia laugh and angers Uncle Leo. Uncle Leo moves back to his apartment forcing the Seinfelds to move in with Jerry. Elaine is asked to accompany J. Peterman to Africa to 'knock off' the Masai Bushman's sandals. Elaine is unable to go because she tests positive for opium in her urine test, she asks Jerry's mother, Helen to give her a urine sample to test. George tries to convince his parents, Frank and Estelle Costanza to move to Boca, where the Seinfelds live. The Seinfelds move back to Florida because they can't take the low flow shower heads.
Writer: Peter Mehlman, Marjorie Gross
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Wayne Knight, Liz Sheridan, Barney Martin
THE DOLL -- Episode 120 (02/22/96)
Chaos ensues when Susan's former college roommate wants to be Jerry's new best friend and she continuously interferes with his life. Meanwhile, when Susan displays her doll collection in their apartment, George is disturbed to find that one doll bears an uncanny resemblance to his mother. Also, Kramer becomes hooked on playing pool when George's father turns George's old bedroom into a billiard room.
Writer: Tom Gammill, Max Pross
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Kathy Griffin, Estelle Harris
THE FRIAR'S CLUB -- Episode 121 (3/7/96)
Due to a screw up at the wedding hall, George and Susan's wedding has been pushed to June. George and Susan double date with Susan's best friend, Hallie and Jerry. Jerry is interested in joining the Friars Club and Pat Cooper is sponsoring him for membership. Jerry loses the crested Friar's blazer which was on loan to him. J. Peterman gives Elaine extra work because her new co-worker, Bob, cannot hear very well and cannot understand the assignments. Elaine is convinced that Bob wears a fake hearing aid in order to get out of doing any work. Kramer decides to sleep twenty minutes every three hours like Leonardo Da Vinci, in order to be awake 2 and a half extra days each week. Kramer falls asleep on his mysterious girlfriend, Connie, leading her to believe she killed him and she dumps his body in the river.
Writer: David Mandel
Director: Andy Ackerman
THE WIGMASTER -- Episode 122 (04/04/96)
Jerry reluctantly buys an expensive crested blazer from a salesman, Craig, whom Elaine likes. Elaine starts dating Craig and he offers to buy her a dress with his discount. Jerry thinks Craig is offering his 'discount' to Elaine for 'something' in return. Susan's friend, the wig master for "Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", is staying with George and Susan for two weeks. George and Kramer start parking their cars at an inexpensive garage. George becomes suspicious after he finds a condom and lipstick in his car and notices a number of prostitutes hanging out near the garage. Kramer borrows the 'Dreamcoat' from Charmaine, the costumer, for a day and is arrested for pimping outside the parking garage. George tries to convince Susan that he is an untrustworthy fiancee and that she should break-up with him.
Writer: Spike Feresten
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Harry Van Gorkum, Patrick Bristow, Kim Chase
THE CALZONE -- Episode 123 (04/25/96)
Jerry starts dating Nicki, who is a beautiful woman who always gets her way. Men become dumbfounded when they see her and she is able to get impossible movie tickets and talk the police out of giving Jerry a speeding ticket. George offers Steinbrenner a bite of his calzone and Steinbrenner becomes obsessed with them and wants George to bring him calzones, from Paisano's, every day at lunch. George is concerned that the counter guy at Paisano's never notices that he puts a tip in the tip jar so he decides to wave a hefty five dollar tip to ensure that he notices it. The counter guy is distracted and George decides to retrieve the tip to try again, only to get caught with his hand in the tip jar. Kramer only wears warm clothes right out of the dryer. He runs out of quarters and is forced to cook his clothes in Jerry's oven. Elaine wins a bet with Todd Gack and he offers to buy her dinner. Todd continues to ask Elaine out but refuses to say they are dating. Elaine catches Todd Gack on a date with Nicki after Nicki wins a bet with him too.
Writer: Alec Berg, Jeff Schaeffer
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Wayne Knight, Danette Tays, Peter Allas
THE BOTTLE DEPOSIT -- Episode 124 (05/02/96)
J. Peterman sends Elaine to an auction to buy JFK's gold clubs, which she does and leaves in Jerry's car. Jerry takes his car to an eccentric mechanic, Tony, who thinks Jerry is improperly caring for his car, so he takes it away from him. Newman and Kramer decide to go to Michigan in Newman's mail truck to cash in bottles for the larger deposit. They spot Jerry's mechanic and a chase ensues. Kramer tosses the bottles and Newman out of the truck to gain speed. The mechanic tosses the golf clubs at Kramer. George is following Mr. Wilhelm down the hall discussing business. When Wilhelm enters the men's room, George stays outside but Wilhelm thinks he followed him in. When Wilhelm finishes the conversation with 'that's your assignment' George does not know whether to ask Wilhelm to repeat it or not. Steinbrenner believes that George completed this assignment when it appears on his desk. After reading this report, Steinbrenner thinks that George has gone crazy. George is dumbfounded because he did not do the report and is escorted out of Steinbrenner's office by two orderlies.
Note: This episode is one hour.
Writer: Andy Robin, Gregg Kavet
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: John O'Hurley, Brad Garrett, Wayne Knight
THE WAIT OUT -- Episode 125 (05/09/96)
Jerry and Elaine have been waiting out the marriage of their friends, Beth and David, in order to move in on them. Beth and David split up over an insensitive comment by George. Jerry and Elaine come up with a plan to start dating Beth and David. Jerry remembers when Kramer used to wear jeans, when he had a different body. Determined to disprove Jerry, Kramer buys a pair of slim fit jeans which are too tight and he can't take them off. Kramer also helps Mickey get into an acting studio. George is determined to get Beth and David back together again, despite Jerry and Elaine's happiness. Mrs. Zanfino asks Kramer to baby-sit Joey. Kramer enters Joey's bedroom as he is sleeping and Joey mistakes him for Frankenstein because of the way Kramer is walking in his tight jeans. Joey takes off screaming and Kramer is taken in to custody as Joey calls him a monster.
Writer: Peter Mehlman, Matt Selman
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Danny Woodburn, Debra Missing
THE INVITATIONS -- Episode 126 (05/16/96)
George starts getting 'cold feet' about his upcoming wedding to Susan as they select their wedding invitations. Jerry fears being single forever and coincidentally meets the girl of his dreams, Jeannie Steinman. She is just like him in many ways (sense of humor and obsession with cereal) and they get engaged. Elaine is upset about not being in the wedding and sitting at the single, loser's table. George Steinbrenner does not want to sit at the singles table either and asks Elaine to be his date. Elaine starts taking diet pills to lose weight for the wedding. A bank offers $100.00 to any customer who is not greeted with a 'hello' and Kramer demands his money after the teller greets him with a 'hey.' Susan passes out and dies after licking the wedding invitation envelopes, which are cheap and had toxic glue. Jerry realizes that he does not want to be engaged to Jeannie because she is too much like himself.
Writer: Larry David
Director: Andy Ackerman
Guest Cast: Heidi Swedberg, Janeane Garofalo, George Steinbrener