by Sydney L.
Hey guys!!!
First I want to thank all of you for you INCREDIBLE patience with me!!!!!!!! And I want to thank you for your encouragement and get well wishes....which is why this chapter took so long to get to you!! You guys are the best! Hope you enjoy!!
Hugs,
Sydney
~chapter 28~
Brenda stared out the window of the plane into the vast darkness of the night. She absently fingered the gold heart-shaped locket around her neck as a tear slipped silently out of the corner of her eye.
She was trying so hard to wrap her mind around the conversations she and
Julia had over the past few days. There was so much she didn't
understand. So many questions she now had and a sinking feeling that amidst
all of the questions, she really had no where to go to get the answers.
She sighed as she wiped the tear away and tried to focus on the notepad in her hand. She had separated the paper into 3 columns. One for facts. Things that Julia or Brenda knew for certain...things that could be documented. The list was sparse. She knew she had a twin sister. She knew that for some reason they had been separated when they were young. That her mother had taken her sister with her and left Brenda alone to be raised by a monster named Harlan.
Her mind drifted back to the moment Julia told her....
"Brenda, you weren't Harlan's natural daughter." At first, her mind was numb. She sat motionless, staring at Julia. How could that be? Her *not* be Harlan's daughter? Not be a Barrett? Not be the person she's always been?
"Brenda? Hon, are you ok?" Julia's voice brought Brenda back to the present. She silently nodded as a slight smile passed over her lips.
"I don't know whether to be sad that I'm not who I thought I was or ecstatic that Harlan's blood doesn't run through my veins." Brenda tried to mask her pain by trying to make light of the situation, but Julia saw right through her facade.
"Brenda, I know this is hard for you." She sighed and got up from the couch and began to pace in front of Brenda. "God, I wish I wasn't the one telling you or that I'd told you years ago. We just...Daddy wouldn't let us talk about them. And you were so young. No one really thought you even remembered and after a while it just seemed best not to tell you. You must hate me..."
Brenda interrupted Julia's train of thought, realizing that it was a fruitless waste of energy and time. "I don't. Julia, I don't hate you. I'm *glad* I'm hearing this from you." She smiled suddenly. "Better coming from my sister than a stranger, don't you think?"
Julia's eyes began to mist. "But....I'm not....your sister."
"Yes. You are." Brenda stated simply and truthfully. "You're the girl that I grew up with. You're the one I envied and wanted to be like...all in the same breath...for so many years. The one I never measured up to because she was *so* brilliant and *so* beautiful. 'Daddy's little princess'. The oh, so Perfect, Julia. You used to drive me crazy..."
"Oh, like you didn't have faults of your own, little sis. You were the one who could drive *me* nuts more than any other person I knew." Julia interjected with a smile. She'd heard these words from Brenda before, but now all of the venom was missing, replaced with good-natured ribbing. It amazed her how far the two of them had come.
She sat back down and reached for Brenda's hand. "You were the family fire waiting to be put out. The one who'd sneak into my room and steal my Nancy Drew books." she continued.
Brenda started laughing. "At least I never spilled hot chocolate on any of them."
Julia began to nod. "That's very true. Although, I'm sure it had less to do with you not wanting to harm the books and more to do with not wanting to leave any evidence for me to find out."
"Busted!" Brenda laughed again and Julia joined in her laugher this time. She sobbered as she looked down at their hands. Julia's holding hers. It suddenly hit her once again how much she had always wanted this. The closeness. The friendship. The love. Her sister. Regarless of heritage, regardless of the past, they truly had become a family. Julia had become the sister she always wanted.
She looked back up at Julia. "As far as I'm concerned, nothing between us has changed. You *are* my sister. After so many lost years, we found one another again. Please don't make me lose the only sister I've ever known. Not now. Not when I need you the most."
"Oh, Brend. I don't want to lose you either." Julia reached over and gave Brenda a hug. "I love you." she whispered.
"I love you too." Brenda stated as she held on to the only family she'd ever known, painful and strained as it had been. Before Jax.....
Jax. She smiled just thinking of him. He'd been so wonderful to let her go without an explanation. It was strange. At first, her stubborn independent streak had caused her to want to prove to him how strong she was. That she could handle all of this on her own. That she wouldn't fall apart. That she was capable of being an equal partner with him.
Now, all she wanted was to feel his arms around her and hear him gently whisper that everything would be ok. That, together, they could conquer anything....even the mysteries of her past.
As independant and strong as she claimed to be...as she knew she could be, she also realized just how much she *did* need Jax. After all, he was the other half of her. Together they made a one singular, working, beautiful unit. Where she failed, he succeeded. Where he was weak, she was strong. He was her partner....her soulmate. She smiled again. Her wonderful, loving, perfect Jax.
She looked back down at the notepad. Possible scenerios. This was the column that seemed to run on endlessly. And the column she most needed Jax's help with. He'd always had such an incredible sense of the game. Of the players. She smiled to herself. That's why he was such a good negotiator. He could read people. His judgment was incredibly sound and something she had come to rely on more than she'd realized. And now, she would need that judgment and intuition to help her sort through the endless twists and turns her life seemed to have taken in just a few short days.
He gaze moved to the third column. The question column. Why did mother leave me? Was she alive all of this time? Is she alive still? Is Laurel Jordan's mother? Is Laurel alive?
And the list went on and on. These were all questions that had been burning in her mind since the moment she'd left Jax at the penthouse. The moment she'd remembered she had a twin. It had come so suddenly and so clearly to her. Holding the locket. Hearing her mother's song playing over and over in her head. Seeing her sister's face....a face so much like her own. Laughing together. Playing together. Sitting quietly to listen to a bedtime story that their mother would tell them.
Brenda felt another tear slip down her cheek. She quickly brushed it away
in frustration. There was no need in crying about things now. Crying wouldn't
solve anything. The first thing she needed to do when she got to Lois's was
to talk to Jax. She could find out how his plan with Miranda was progressing
and just how soon she could come home to be with him. And as far as she was
concerned, it couldn't be soon enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a long day. But a fun one. He'd spent the entire day just with
Jordan. First they took a ride in Jax's plane again. Jordan even tried his
hand at flying....only the plane Jordan flew was at the local fairgrounds
on one of the kiddie rides where Jax took him after they flew his little
jet.
Then they went shopping. Both of them agreed that shopping was "for girls".....except when you're looking for something special...for *someone* special. Jordan had drawn a picture of Jax, Brenda and himself on a yacht and they searched all over for the perfect frame and matting. And Jax bought her a bracelet. A simple gold one with a heart charm and the word "Promiseland" engraved on the back.
Later that night Jax had let Jordan wrap his gift because he declared in no uncertain terms that he wanted to "tell Brenda that I've wrapped it all by myself!". Then after reading Jordan a chapter from "The Swiss Family Robinson", Jax hauled him off to bed. And now, he was just sitting down to relax...and think.
He sat there for a while mulling over his plan. So far, things were going pretty well. Lunch with Miranda the day before had been a breeze. One could even say it was too easy. She'd signed any and all documents without any questions or hesitation. Which made Jax even more aware of the looks that so often passed between his brother and his ex-wife.
Yes, something was definitely going on. Perhaps it was a bond between the two from all of those years of shared secrecy. Jax shook his head absently. No, it was more than that. As if....as if Miranda was afraid of Jerry. Not physically afraid. But afraid of what he'd say next.
Jax snapped his fingers. That was it! Jerry must have something on her that she didn't want him to know. She had constantly interrupted Jerry or tried to explain what he meant when he said such and such. As if Jax couldn't understand his own brother's words. That *must* be it! He must have something on her that he's using to get her to do what he wants...or what Jax wants. But what could it be?
A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He opened the door to see a delivery man standing there with a package. He quickly signed for it and started to close the door when he heard Jerry's voice.
"Gee, you've been mad at me before, little brother. But I don't remember you ever slamming the door in my face." Jerry teased.
"Hey, Jerry, I didn't see you there. Come on in. Have a seat. Can I get you anything?"
"Nah. I just got done eating." Jerry plopped down on the couch as Jax sat down opposite him on the other. "So, how are things going with your 'plan'?"
Jax leaned back and eyed Jerry. Since childhood, he'd always trusted Jerry completely. Until he found out about Miranda. And Jerry's role in the deception. Now, there was a reserve...a wall...a line Jax wouldn't cross. And that included all things personal. Like his relationship with Brenda. Or Jordan. Or the fact that they knew Jordan didn't belong to him....or Miranda.
But since his plan included both his personal and business lives, and since he needed Jerry's help, it would be necessary to fill him in on the details....at least some. And maybe find out what he knew in the process. "I think things are going well. Miranda puzzles me though."
"Oh really? In what way?" Jerry asked, almost cautiously.
"Well, she signed the legitimacy papers. No question asked. No hesitation. I mean, she *has* to know that will give me legal rights to Jordan. I could easily sue for custody now. She's kept him from me for so long, mainly because she was afraid I'd take him away from her....or so she says. Doesn't that seem strange to you?"
Jerry was silent for a second as he studied Jax's face, trying to read his expression. But his brother was too good. He couldn't read a thing....which for Jax was a sure sign that he was fishing for something. But what? He didn't know.
He shrugged his shoulders. "I really don't see anything stange about it. Then again, what would I know?"
"Good question, Jerry. What *do* you know?" The edge in Jax's voice contradicted the smile on his lips.
Jerry bristled. Now, he was really beginning to wonder what Jax was up to. "I don't know what you're talking about. What could I possibly know about Miranda or what's going on in her head?"
Jax shook his head as he leaned back, trying to keep the conversation casual. "Oh, I don't know, Jerry. I'm just curious, I guess. I figured since you spent all of that time with her for so many years, you would understand where she's coming from. Or something like that."
Jerry relaxed a little. *This* he could handle. "Look, you got it all wrong, Jax. I really didn't spend all that much time with Miranda. Sure I took care of her initially after the accident. For weeks....months, I didn't leave her side. Then mum and dad said you weren't handling things well at all and by that time, she had begun to improve. Her doctors and therapists had everything under control. In fact, they thought the less she saw of me the better. It would only remind her of you. And that would set her back."
He got up from the couch and walked toward the fireplace. "I only saw her a half a dozen times after that. It was easier....for both of us. She was trying to forget what she'd had to give up. And I was trying to bury the guilt I felt at the pain we were causing you." Jerry paused to look at Jax before continuing. "I really *am* sorry Jax....for everything."
Jax nodded as he whispered. "I know, Jerry. As far as I'm concerned, it's over and done. In the past. I've dealt with it and let it go...now it's your turn."
Jerry attempted a smile before continuing. "Right. I'll try." He took a deep breath before continuing the story. "Anyway, after Miranda got better and began to build her own life, I had very little contact with her, except a phone call or two to see if she needed anything. She really seemed to want to just forget she ever knew the Jacks clan and move on with her life. That's why I was so surprised to find out that she had come to Port Charles last year."
"So why do you think she did?" Jax interjected.
Jerry shrugged with a grin. "Who can ever understand a woman's mind?"
Jax grinned. "Oh, I'm sure you could....if you ever stuck around long enough to let one get under your skin. You know, the whole home fires burning and planting roots routine."
Jerry started to laugh. "Sorry, little brother. I think I'll leave the home
building and root-planting to you." He glanced at the envelope on the table
that Jax had laid down when he first came in.
"Aren't you going to open that? It could be from Brenda."
Jax glanced down at it, obviously having forgot it was even there.
"I doubt it's from Brenda. It doesn't look like her writing." Jax said as
he picked it up and opened it. His expression changed to alarm as he read
the contents.
"Is something wrong?" Jerry asked noting the difference in Jax's manner.
Jax glanced up at him as he re-deposited the contents in the envelope. "Yeah. Something is. Uh, look, I hate to do this to you, but I have an emergency. I need to leave. Can you stay here tonight....with Jordan? He's already asleep and shouldn't be a problem."
"Well, sure, I can stay. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Yes. Make sure he doesn't leave with Miranda until I get back....if she's even still in town." Jax moved off the couch and started to head upstairs to pack.
"But Jax...."
Jax stopped and turned to look at Jerry, fear and anger flashing out of his
eyes. He pointed a finger at him for emphasis. "I mean it, Jerry. He's not
to leave here with her!" And he turned and hurried up the steps, leaving
a confused, concerned Jerry behind.
~~~~~~~~~
Miranda sat in her apartment staring out the window. It always disappointed
her how bright city lights appeared in the sky. She couldn't see the stars
that she'd grown so accustomed to while living abroad.
She sighed as she thought of Jax. He was the first person to make her notice the stars. They wished and dreamed on them together. He promised they would always have the stars to guide them to their hearts' desires.
After the explosion, she wished on them every night. Wished he would somehow find her and cross every ocean and river to get to her. Nothing would stop her Jax, her knight from being with her. He'd promised her nothing ever would.
Now, that seemed like such a foolish dream. A promise that would never be kept. She was in the same city with him, but for some reason, she'd never felt so far away. Her eyes turned cold as she thought of the reason for that. Brenda....and Jerry. One for having beguiled Jax into believing he loved her. The other for keeping her from doing what needed to be done to get Jax back.
Her mind went back to the conversation she and Helena had on the yacht the previous night. "Aunt Helena, I just don't know what to do. Jerry is determined to ruin my chances with Jax. And he, unfortunately, has the opportunity and the weapon."
"What weapon? The truth?" Helena asked with a snear. "My darling, Bella, didn't I teach you anything? The truth is only as powerful as you let it be. As is your enemy."
Miranda shook her head. "But you don't understand, Aunt Helena. I *know* what Jerry knows. And Jerry will have no qualmes about sharing his information with Jax if he thinks it will protect him. And I know Jax. He won't be favorable to the idea of setting up a home with a woman who just comitted murder." her voice was on the verge on hysteria.
"Come, come, my dear. Calm yourself. You always were one for dramatics. It makes you adaptable, but it also makes you vulnerable. Think with me for a moment. What does Jerry think is so important to Jax that it's his weak link? In other words, what, if taken away from Jax, would make him vulnerable to destruction?"
Miranda thought a second before answering. "Well, since Jordan's the focus of his blackmail, I would have to assume he feels Jax's love for Jordan is Jax's weakness. That's why he's trying so hard to protect that relationship."
Helena smiled deviously. "Then that's where we hit him."
"Aunt, I don't want to hurt Jax. I love him."
"Of course you do, child. I'm not suggesting we hurt Jax....I'm suggesting we use Jax's weakness against Jerry without Jax knowing. You do, afterall, have some secret truths of your own you can use..."
Miranda turned from the window, determination filling her eyes. "Yes, I know
of one particular bombshell that will blow Jerry's world apart." she whispered
to herself as she headed out the door, in search of her
target.
~~~~~~~~
Brenda and Lois arrived at Lois's house around 10:30 that evening. After
paying the babysitter, Lois declared the first order of business was to put
on a pot of tea so they could talk.
Brenda took her luggage up to the guest room while Lois prepared the tea in the kitchen. Brenda joined her at the table. "So, things were pretty rough, huh?" Lois asked.
Brenda looked at her cup and nodded.
"Did you fight with Julia again?"
"No, nothing like that. In fact, Julia was wonderful. I think...I think we actually reached a new level in our relationship. She really has become my sister...the sister I always wanted." She smiled wryly before continuing. "Which is pretty ironic since she isn't my sister at all."
Lois's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened with shock. "What do you mean, she's not your sister?"
"She's not. I am not the daughter of Harlan Barrett." Brenda stated simply.
"But....then who's...?"
"I don't know." Brenda's voice sounded so defeated as she shook her head. Tears began to form in her eyes again as she repeated, "I really don't know."
Just then they heard the front doorbell ring. "Who could that be at this hour?" Lois reached over and squeezed Brenda's hand. "Look, I'll get rid of whoever it is and be right back. Will you be ok?"
Brenda nodded as she grabbed for a tissue. "Yeah, I'm fine. Really, Lois. I'm fine." She smiled weakly as the doorbell ran again. "Sounds like an incessant one. You'd better go get the door."
She'd only been alone in the kitchen for a few seconds when there was a tap at the back door. Brenda looked up and sighed. "Good grief! I seem to have landed in Grand Central Station!" She got up to open the door.
He was standing there, his dark head bent as he was placing his bags on the ground by his feet when Brenda opened the door.
"Yes? May I help you?" she asked.
His head snapped up. As shocking blue eyes met her brown ones, she heard him let out a short gasp. "Oh my god! Laurel!" And before Brenda knew what was happening he had taken her into his arms.
Just in that moment, Lois re-entered the kitchen, followed by Jax who stopped short when he saw his fiance's lips connect with those of a dark-haired, blue-eyed stranger.
to be continued......