Promises, Promises-20
by: Sydney
~chapter 20~
As Jax pulled the car into the Quartermaine driveway, Jordan hugged Japser tightly. He looked out the window at the mansion that loomed high above him. Earlier Brenda had told him that he'd get to meet other kids and have cake and ice cream at the party. Until meeting Jax and Brenda, he couldn't remember ever having had cake and ice cream. And he'd been so excited. Now, he just felt sick to his stomach.
What if no one liked him? What if all he got to do was sit in the corner all day like all the other times? And this building. In so many ways it looked so much like....
Tears sprang to his eyes as he remembered and wondered if Jax and Brenda were going to leave him here. He looked over at Brenda sitting in the front seat next to Jax. She had her left arm resting on Jax's shoulder as she gently ran her fingers through his hair. Watching them, Jordan was suddenly gripped with this awful fear that today would be the last day they would all be together.
Brenda smiled as she turned and glanced back at Jordan. "Well, honey, we're here! Are you ready to have fun and go swimming?" Brenda asked Jordan.
Jordan looked down at Jasper, but not before Brenda could see the fear in his eyes. She reached back and touched his knee. "Hey, there. Are you ok? Jordan, is something wrong?"
Jax put the car in park and turned off the ignition before turning around to see what Brenda was asking Jordan about. He and Brenda exchanged glances. Something was definitely wrong.
"Hey, Jordan. What's wrong?" Jax prompted as Jordan sat silently. "You know you can tell us anything. Remember, that's one of our rules."
Jordan took a deep breath and whispered. "What if nobody likes me?"
Brenda smiled, relieved. For a moment there, she'd gotten this feeling that something was dreadfully wrong. She'd seen that look in his eyes before...the one where he looks abandoned and lost and afraid. The one he had after his nightmare. That haunted look of a little boy who'd seen way too much pain and sorrow in his short little life.
But this....*this* they could handle. "What? Nobody like you? Are you kidding? Everyone's going to love you. I guarantee it. You already know Maxie and Georgie. And you've met Lois and Brook Lynne. And they all like you. You'll be making friends before you know it."
"Yeah, that's right." Jax chimed in. "You'll probably make so many friends, they won't want you to leave. And Brenda and I will be here with you the whole time, so if you need us for anything just come get us, ok?"
"Oh, and you know what? I think Lucas is going to be here too. He's a little boy a few years older than you, but I'll bet you become really good friends." Brenda added.
Jordan looked up at Brenda. "Really? I've only ever had only one friend besides Nana and you guys. That was Zack. We were best friends....until he got in trouble. Then we couldn't be friends any more."
"What kind of trouble did he get into?" Jax asked, hoping to gain a little more insight into Jordan's past.
"He tried to give me a piece of cake." Jordan said simply as if that was the most natural thing in the world to get in trouble for.
"He got in trouble for giving you a piece of cake? That's absurd! Who would do something like that to a child?" Brenda's indignation started to overflow. Jax reached over and touched her hand, trying to calm her when he saw Jordan's reaction to her outburst.
"I'm sorry. I didn't to make you mad." Jordan's eyes started to fill with tears.
"Oh, no, sweetie. I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry I got upset. I just don't like seeing you hurt, that's all. Come here." Brenda reached for Jordan as she helped him climb over the seat and sat him on her lap.
Jax reached over and wiped away a tear from Jordan's face. "We love you, Jordan. And it makes us sad to hear that you've only had one friend and that you had to lose that friend. We want you to be happy and have a lot of friends. That's why Brenda got upset. She's not mad at you. She's mad at the person who took Zack away from you. Who was that, anyway?"
"Black Man. He ran the home."
"The home? What home are you talking about, sweetie?" Brenda asked.
"The home I lived in after Nana died."
"Didn't you live with your mummy?" Jax inquired.
Jordan shook his head. "No, that was before mommy found me."
"Before she *found* you?" Jax asked, a hint of incredulity in his voice. Maybe they were starting to get the pieces of the puzzle they were looking for. Jax opened his mouth to ask another question, but was stopped by the sound of Lois's voice calling out to them as she came out of the house.
"Hey, you guys! What are ya waitin' for? Get in here where the festivities are!" Lois had reached the car now, and Jax rolled down the window for her. Lois leaned down and notice that Jordan looked like he'd been crying. "Hey, what's going on here?"
"Umm, Jordan's just feeling a little scared about meeting everyone." Jax explained.
Lois spoke to Jordan. "You're not having second thoughts about coming in are you? Cuz if you are, you better just put them out of that cute little head of yours. Maxie and Georgie are already here and they got so excited when they found out you were coming. And they've been telling Lucas all about you. Not to mention the Q's. So, if you don't come in, there will be a lot of disappointed people!"
A smile slowly spread across Jordan's face. "Really? They want me to come? I might really get to have friends?"
Brenda could feel her breath catch. How is it that a little 6 year old could be so bereft of friends that the very idea was foreign to him? She kissed him on the top of head as she thanked Lois with her eyes.
"Of course, you can. Isn't that what Brenda and I've been trying to tell you?" Jax answered him as he tossled his hair and give him an encouraging smile.
"Yep. The only one you have to watch out for is Edward. He's the gray haired guy. He can be a bear. But if he starts to pick on you....just tell him to blow it out his ear. That usually shuts him up." Lois added.
Jax and Brenda started laughing. "I'll have to remember that the next board meeting I go to." Jax commented.
"So, you think you're ready now?" Brenda asked as she noticed that he'd begun to squirm in her lap. "YEAH!" Jordan yelled as they opened the door and he practically drug them toward the door.
~~~~~~~ "So, is everything ok?" Lois asked Brenda, watching her intently in an effort to gauge her response.
Brenda was watching Jordan play with the other kids. He was having a blast. She smiled and waved when he turned to look at her. Sighing, Brenda answered, "I don't know. How ok can things be when I know that tomorrow I'll be in Brooklyn with you and Miranda will be here trying to move into Jax's life yet again?"
She half-laughed at Lois's concerned expression. "Oh, don't worry. I'm ok. I just had a second of self-indulgence there."
"Something big is going on, isn't it? Is there anything I can do?" Lois asked, worry shining from her sparkling blue eyes.
"Yeah. You can listen. There's a lot I need to tell you about....a lot is going on. But all of that can wait till tomorrow, ok? Right now, I just want to enjoy being here with my family and friends."
They could hear Edward's blustering long before they saw him enter the patio. Ned was following close behind.
"Grandfather, it's no use! Jr.'s just going to fail like he always has. I'm just trying to save this family from embarrassment that his inability will eventually cause!"
"Oh, Ned, give it a rest for once. A.J.'s been doing a fine job. In fact, he's caught a few mistakes that you have made yourself. And you know, I would feel more confident if you would actually show your face around the office once in a while."
Suddenly, Edward yelled, "What is the meaning of this? Who are you? And what are you trying to do with that ball...get me soaking wet, you little hoodlum?"
Jordan was standing in front of him trying to keep hold of the big, wet beach ball that had accidentally bounced in front of Edward, spraying him with water.
Ned spoke up. "Grandfather, calm down. That's Jax's little boy, Jordan."
"Jax's boy, huh? Great! Just what we need...another Jacks on the face of this earth. He's probably already started teaching him the feeding habits of sharks." He leaned down and looked Jordan in the eyes. "Hhrumph. You look just like him. Hope you don't decide to follow in his raiding footsteps, little boy. Although I can see you've already got a good start..trying to attack an old man like you just did."
Jordan felt an arm come around his shoulder as he looked up and saw Brenda suddenly standing next to him. "Hello, Edward. I see you've met Jordan. Awww, did he get you wet?"
"Yes, he did, the little rascal! You know, Brenda dear, we love you like family, but I will never understand this fascination you have for thugs and thieves. First, Sonny Corinthos and now Jax, the rotten scally-wag."
Jordan had been listening to this loud, old man they called Edward and he was confused by so much that he was saying. Was it true that he belonged to Jax? If so, why hadn't Jax told him? Edward seemed to like Brenda, but he kept saying bad things about Jax. Which made Jordan angry. Then he remembered something Lois said, and before Brenda got a chance to respond to Edward, Jordan jumped in.
"Don't you know that Brenda and Jax love each other in here?" he asked, pointing to his heart. "And they love me too. And I don't like how you talk about them! So you can just...you can just blow it out your ear!!" With that, Jordan ran off leaving a speechless Edward standing with his mouth open. ~~~~~~~~~
"Jordan, wait! Come back!" Brenda took off after him. She caught up to him next to the wall. He was sitting there with his head buried in his arms, crying.
"Awww, honey, you shouldn't mind Edward. He's like that with everybody." Brenda tried to explain as she sat down next to him.
Jordan shook his head as he sobbed. "It's not him."
"Well then what is it, honey?"
"He said....he said I was Jax's boy. What did he mean? Does he mean that Jax is my daddy? Why didn't he tell me? Doesn't he want me?"
"Oh, boy." Brenda said under her breath. At this moment, she was glad Edward wasn't around because she could just wring his neck. She glanced around to see where Jax was. He was on the other side of the patio, talking with Lila. His back was half-turned so that she wasn't in his line of vision, so she couldn't have gotten his attention even if she tried.
She turned back to Jordan, deciding to handle this on her own. "Look, Jordan. I'm going to be totally honest with you, ok. Because the one things I never want us to have is secrets and lies between us, alright?"
Jordan looked up at her, his eyes red and wet with tears. She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead as she wiped away his tears before beginning.
"A long time ago, Jax was married to Miranda...your mommy. Some things happened and he didn't see her for a very long time. And when he did see her again, she had you with her. Now, it *is* a possiblity that Jax is your daddy, Jordan. But, we really aren't sure. That's why we had you take a blood test and everything. Right now, we're just trying to find out."
"Why didn't he tell me?"
"You love Jax, don't you?"
Jordan nodded.
"And if you had to pick one person in all the world to be your daddy, who would you pick?"
"Jax." Jordan whispered.
"Uh-huh. And Jax and I know that....and since we weren't sure if you really are his son, we didn't want to get your hopes up before we knew anything for sure. We didn't want you to be sad if it turns out that he's not. Does that make sense?"
"Uh-huh. So, Jax didn't tell me because he *does* love me, right?"
Brenda smiled. "That's right. Whether you belong to Jax or not, always remember that Jax loves you. And that will never change, ok?"
Jordan's smile lit up his whole face. "Ok. Does that mean that if he is my daddy, you are my mommy?"
"Noooo, sweetie. You already have a mommy. But Jax and I already feel like you're part of our family whether he's your daddy or not. See, you're part of our family of love. Just like Lois and Brook Lynne and so many others who are our friends. That family doesn't depend on blood types or heredity...it depends on love. And that's a family you'll always be a part of."
"Is that Edward man part of that family too?" Jordan asked with a disgusted look on his face.
Brenda started laughing. "Well, let's just say he's a very distant cousin."
Jordan started laughing too as he and Brenda gave each other a hug.
~~~~~~~~~ Jax was sitting next to Lila watching Brenda and Jordan over by the patio wall. They looked like they were in deep conversation. It looked serious. He had been waiting for a chance to catch Ned and tell him about the ELQ "take over" before joining them, but maybe he should go find out what was going on now. Suddenly, Lila spoke up.
"Your son is a very beautiful boy, Jax."
Jax smiled at the irony of her words. His son. If only he could say that was true. "Thank you, Lila. He's definitely one of the bright spots in my life right now. He and Brenda."
"If I didn't know any better, I would have never known that he didn't belong to both you and Brenda. One look at him and anyone can see the resemblance between the two of you. But the strange thing is the way he has Brenda's eyes...and their smiles. Have you noticed how they have the same smile?"
Jax looked over to where Jordan and Brenda sat and he began to watch them intently. She must have said something to him that made him happy because all of a sudden they began to smile at each other. And, for the first time, he saw it.
Of course! That's what it! Since meeting Jordan, he'd had a sense of knowing him from somewhere. He just chalked it up to how much Jordan looked like him. Now, he saw that it was even more than that. It was the way he'd smile....or laugh...or bite his lower lip when he was nervous...or his expressions. Watching them now, Jordan actually looked in many ways more like Brenda than he did Jax. Jax swallowed hard as he realized that it was Brenda that he saw in Jordan.
Jax's mind was in a whirl. That would mean that Jordan and Brenda were related by blood. Which, in a way, would make sense. They had such a strong bond between them since the moment they met. And she'd been so ready to accept him into their home...into their lives.
And what about her nightmares? She never told him exactly what they were about. Could they have been some indication of something from her past? But how could that be? Brenda had never had a child. Unless.....
Jax's thoughts were interrupted by a set of small, wet arms encircling his neck as Jordan gave him a hug. He pulled Jordan close to him as new ideas and doubts began flooding his mind.
As he looked up at Brenda standing before him, his eyes masked all of the doubts and questions that he was daring himself to ask. Was it possible? Could Brenda really be Jordan's mother?