Old Flames And New Passions

By: Katie

Well, I'd just suggest skipping the other chapters and picking it up here. It's been a while since I've been here, regretfully without internet access for quite a while. I'd appreciate any feedback and suggestions.

SUMMARY: B/J split three years ago.... as she begins to rekindle things with Sonny,...it happens that Jerry, Jax, and Brenda find themselves all together in a Carribean resort. Needing closure and piece of mind the two beging a tentative relationship.

At this point, Jax wants to know exactly why she is there. What she won't tell him, is that it happens to be for Sonny. And she has chosen to forget that Jax and Jerry are there to find Miranda.

-------------- "What do you mean what am I doing here?" Brenda asked, feigning confusion.

"What aren't you tell me, Brenda?" His eyes began to turn a steely-blue.

"What makes you think I am hiding anything! My God! What is this?! an interrogation?" He body shook as she did her best to avoid the questions. It would be so easy to just tell him. Just say 'yeah Jax I'm here with Sonny', so honest...easy.. Devastating.

(Hold on a minute! Why do I care if he knows I am with Sonny? What's it to him?) Brenda's mind was a wreck.

"Woah..." He had never see her so defensive... except that when she was covering for... He pushed the thoughts out of his mind. "Alright. It's ok. Just relax... look at me," he caught her eye as his hand rubbed her shoulders, "... I won't make you talk. But Brenda, I've got a fairly good idea of what this is all about. It doesn't take a genius She turned her head away, eyes downcast, hands wringing one another.

"I'm sorry..I.. it's... I..." the pent up tears began to slowly make their way down her face. She looked at Jax for what was perhaps the first time.. and saw the care he had towards her. The pain that he wanted to make go away. And she felt her heart sink. Her tears soon turned into sobs. Her back to the wall she slid down slowly. Not wanting to face Jax. Not wanting him to see her like this.

Jax, who up until this point was standing facing her, crouched down to her level.

"Sweetheart, hey, come on,.... you don't need to hide yourself.." his hands gently came up and covered hers, which were shielding her swollen eyes. "Alright, hey, lets just get out of here... away from this hotel and the people and just everything..." and to her own surprise she shook her head 'no.' She couldn't leave. She couldn't just get up and walk out of this place and let it be left behind. She couldn't be vunerable in front of someone she didn't know anymore. "I... can't leave.. Jax it's all too...confusing..."

One hand stroked her hair soothingly, the other resting on her shoulder. "I don't expect anything of you. You are right, Brenda, we left way too much unresolved. And I can't help but sit here and think that this has a lot to do with me... trust me, Brenda. Let me do this for you. For me. For whatever form of 'us' there can or ever will be. I don't want sex I don't want you to spill your deepest secrets- I want you to be at peace with whatever this is."

Brenda spoke then, "This isn't yours Jax, it's me, it's mine. And.. it's not just you and me and what I screwed up.. it's...." and she trailed off, "It's Sonny." Jax finished her sentence for her.

Her head moved slightly up to greet his. She was ashamed, embarrassed, and scared. And he saw it. He read her eyes as well then as he was able to 3 years ago. "I don't know everything and quite honestly I don't want to. But you shouldn't be here--not like this, not feeling horrible about something that's out of your control. Let me get you away from this, Bren. For both of us... You can talk if you want to or you can just listen... I need this.." she slowly shook her head.

"I...Jax.. there's just so much--too much you don't know... this isn't fixable or you... you can't just make it disappear--"

"I don't want to. I have no desire to erase whatever it is that you've built up. This is about coming to terms with us... apart from that it's... it's not up to me. Let me do this, then I'm done. That's it. That's all I am asking... what do you say?"

She looked at him. Her vision becoming clearer. He raised his hand to gently wipe away the tears, "May I?" his voice tentative. She smiled weakly and nodded 'yes.' His fingertips and palms caressed her warm tear-stricken face as they dried up her tears. His touch was loving, caring, and Brenda shifted slightly to feel him touch her -- as more of a need to feel him, then to rid the tears. She needed to feel comforted. He looked her in the eye (he's gonna kiss me, please...) Brenda's mind was racing. But instead, as they sat, she in a knee-to-chest ball, and he on his knees, he silently asked permission to take her away from all of this. Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes and nodded her head. "...for us..." she mumbled as he gently helped her to her feet.

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Katie