Brenda’s therapy Session Kevin: Hi Brenda. Come in. Sit down. Brenda: I don’t need to be here, you know. I’m perfectly fine. Kevin: Well if you really feel that way then why are you here? Brenda: Jax sort of suggested it. Kevin: Jax, huh? So, ummm. . .what’s going on with you guys? I thought he left town for a while. Brenda: He did – for two weeks. Look, ummm. . .can we just get this session going Kevin? I feel kind of weird sitting here on this couch like I’m some kind of head case. Kevin: Why does Jax think you need to see me, Brenda? Brenda: He thinks I’m obsessed with Sonny. Kevin: Well are you? Brenda ( shooting up on the couch): No, I’m not! I love Sonny and Sonny loves me. We belong together! Kevin: Then why exactly are you here? Brenda: Because, Jax asked me to marry him before he left. Kevin: You told him no, right? Brenda: Not exactly. . . . Kevin: I don’t understand. After what you’ve just told me about you and Sonny "belonging" together . . .why would you consider Jax’s offer at all? Why didn’t you flat out tell him no? And for that matter, why are you here just because Jax suggested you come? Brenda: Because I respect what Jax says, okay? I respect his opinion on just about everything. And he means a lot to me. He’s really important to me, *but* Sonny is the one that I love and Sonny loves me. Kevin: Fine. Again, if that’s the way you really *feel* then I don’t know why you’re here, Brenda. Brenda: I . . .Jax . . . .he . . .I have to give him an answer in two weeks. Kevin: So what? Just tell him no. Brenda: I don’t *want* to tell him no! Kevin: (raising his eyebrows): Ah- ha! Now, this is getting interesting. I think you may be very confused about who it is that you love, Brenda. Brenda: Kevin, I love Sonny, okay? Sonny and I belong together! Sonny, Sonny, Sonny! Kevin: You don’t have to shout. Brenda: I’m sorry. Kevin: You know, it’s very possible that you’re confusing love with obsession and passion with pain. Brenda( getting a look of deja-vu): What?? Kevin: Okay, see here’s my problem. If you really *feel* so strongly about this thing with Sonny, then why is Jax even in the picture at all? Why are you trying so hard not to let him go, Brenda? Brenda: Am I…umm. . is that what you think I’m doing? Kevin: That’s exactly what you’re doing. (Kevin folds his hands on his desk and leans forward): So. . .what’s the story, Brenda? Why is Jax in your life at all? Is he just a friend? Brenda: He’s just....he’s this really amazing person, okay? I like him. A lot. I feel this connection with him. Kevin: What kind of connection. Brenda: I can’t explain it, exactly. Kevin: But you feel it. Brenda: Yes. All the time. It makes me crazy, you know. (she runs her fingers through her hair a bit nervously) Kevin: Alright, well I’m going to venture a guess that the two of you have moved beyond a friendship on some level, am I right? Brenda: Jax seems to think so. Kevin: I’m more concerned with your thoughts. What do *you* think? Brenda: I think......he’s.....I don’t know. Sometimes I think he’s crazy, but most times . . Kevin: Most times, what? Brenda: (quietly): Most times I guess I think he’s right. I mean *really* right. Like *so* right. Kevin: Very interesting. Brenda: But I love Sonny! I have to love Sonny! Kevin: Have to? Let me tell you something about love, Brenda. You see love is where you care about the other person more than yourself. You put that person first. Can you honestly say that you’ve ever done that for Sonny? For anybody? Brenda: Hey! Kevin: I’m not coming down on you or judging you. I’m simply trying to tell you that from what little you’ve just told me I don’t know *who* you love. Brenda: (glaring at him): So what are you saying ,that I *can’t* love anybody?! Kevin: (shaking his head ): No, I’m not saying that at all. Here, let’s try something. I want you to tell me about Jax. Brenda: Jax? Why Jax and not Sonny? Kevin: I already know about Sonny. I know a little bit about your history together from Lucy. I don’t know much about Jax. What do you think of him? Brenda: Jax is like. . .. he’s like (she smiles) I don’t know....make believe. He’s like this prince from a fairtytale, you know? It’s like I opened one of my childhood storybooks and he just walked right out. He’s like this young Greek god sitting on Mount Olympus, you know? He treats me like a princess. I really don’t know *what* he would ever want with me beyond friendship. He could have any woman he wants. Anybody. Kevin: And you can’t grasp that the one he obviously wants based on his proposal of marriage, is *You*, is that it? Brenda: Yeah, that’s it. But look, why are we talking about Jax and me? I mean, I’m here to talk about me and Sonny, right? Kevin: Right. And you’re here because Jax suggested you be here. Brenda (looking at him): Why do you keep trying to make such a big deal out of that? Kevin: Do you *always* do what Jax tells you to do? Brenda: (a little irritated): Noooo.... Kevin: And yet here you are . . . Brenda: Look, Kevin. It’s no big deal! I told you that I respect his advice and this seemed really important to him so I thought, what the heck? Kevin: (interrupting): Are you in love with Jax, Brenda? Brenda (hesitating): . . . . . no . . . . Kevin: (unconvinced): No? Brenda: I mean, I don’t know . . . . Kevin: Oh, so it went from no to I don’t know . . . .? Brenda: Maybe. Kevin: No, to I don’t know, to maybe? Brenda: P. . .p . . .probably. Kevin: I see. Probably. Brenda: (getting to her feet and pacing): Alright, *yes,* okay? Yes! I do! I do love him! I would be crazy *not* to love him! Kevin: Brenda . . . . Brenda (ignoring him): He’s perfect. He’s gorgeous, he’s sweet, he’s funny . . . Kevin: Brenda . . . Brenda: (still ignoring): He’s kind, but he’s firm, you know? And I really love that. He talks to me like a human being, like a have a brain. When he looks at me, Kevin, sometimes I just melt. When we’re really close to each other I can feel my heart racing like a mile a minute, I always think I’m about to have a heart attack! And sometimes when he . .when he. . when he just *kisses* me I feel like I’m about to faint! Can you believe that? I feel all dizzy and lightheaded and this passion just flares up in me from God only knows where and . . . Kevin: Brenda! Brenda finally stops babbling and looks at him. Kevin: Sit down. Relax. You just confessed to me that you’re in love with somebody, not that you killed Damian Smith. There’s no need to act so panicky. Brenda: You don’t understand how much this scares me, Kevin. You just don’t *understand.* (she sits back down) Brenda: Am I obsessed with Jax do you think? Kevin: I don’t know. Brenda: Well then am I obsessed with Sonny? Is Jax right about that? Kevin: I haven’t come to any conclusions on that yet either. Why don’t you just tell me about your feelings Sonny. Go ahead. Brenda: What can I say? I love Sonny. Kevin: He’s married now. Brenda: I know that. And I don’t care. Kevin: You don’t *care?* You mean you don’t care about anyone’s feelings but your own, is that it? Brenda: Why are you trying to make me seem like such a mean, heartless, horrible person?! Kevin: I’m not, and you’re not. But you seem to be dismissing the fact that Sonny is married to Lily. Do you think just because you love Sonny, that Lily will disappear? Do you think he’ll leave his wife for you, Brenda? Seriously. Brenda: Yes. Eventually, I *know* he will Kevin. He can’t deny how much he wants me. He burns for me. Kevin: *Wants* you? *Burns* for you? Don’t you mean *loves* you? Brenda: Yea...uh...yes... of course that’s what I meant. Loves me. Yeah. Kevin: If that’s what you meant, why didn’t you say it? Brenda: (irritated): That’s what I meant, okay? I don’t know why I didn’t say it but that’s what I meant. I know that Sonny loves me more than he loves anybody else. Kevin: And you feel the same way about him. Brenda: Right. And that’s not an obsession, is it? Kevin: Not the way *you* describe it, no. But I get the feeling that you’re fooling yourself. Brenda: Fooling myself about what? Kevin: I get the feeling that you’re leaving out a lot of things and embellishing a lot of things so that they suit whatever’s going on in your head, Brenda. Some love is just a lie of the heart, you know. I see that in your case. Brenda: A lie of the heart? Kevin: Yep. Those self-deceptions are always the hardest things to let go of. But eventually you see that only the core remains of what probably began with a passionate start. And you may not want it to end, but it will, it’s just a question of when. Brenda: What??!!! Kevin: Brenda, I’ve lived long enough to have learned that the closer you get to the fire the more you get burned. Brenda: But that won’t happen to us. Kevin: Yes it will. Do you know why? Because it’s a matter of trust, Brenda. Trust is the foundation of any solid, happy relationship. Trust is something that you and Sonny completely lack for one another. I’m sorry to tell you this but I feel that you *are* somewhat obsessed with Sonny. And I feel that you want him back no matter who gets hurt or what the risk. That’s obsession. Brenda: How! *How* am I obsessed! Kevin: You followed Sonny and his wife on their ski trip. Brenda: So? It’s a big place, lots of people go there. Kevin: It was no coincidence that you were there, Brenda. Admit it. Brenda: So? Kevin: Then you arranged that little lost in the snow adventure to manipulate Sonny to rescue you. Brenda: Who told you that? Kevin: Are you going to deny it? Brenda: (sighing): What would be the point? Kevin: I heard that you and Sonny both nearly froze to death. Brenda: I never meant for that to happen. Kevin: No, I’m sure you didn’t. But it almost did happen and it was your doing, Brenda. You didn’t stop to think about the consequences. You didn’t think at all. And that’s another sign of obsession. If you truly love Sonny how could you ever have put him in such danger? He could have dies, Brenda. You see, you seem to want what you want by any means necessary. Obsession. Brenda (indignant): Now, wait a minute! Kevin: Brenda, calm down. You’re going to have to face a moment of truth sooner or later, especially with this marriage proposal looming in your head. And facing up to the truth is going to be hard – no *impossible* to do when you’re constantly fooling yourself and when you’re afraid. Brenda: Afraid? I’m not afraid. Kevin: Yes you are. You were terrified to admit to me that you’re falling in love with Jax. I can only imagine how scared you are to let *him* in on those feelings. Brenda; Well look, I can’t help being afraid, okay? My track record with men basically stinks. It’s like I just recover from one emotional upheaval, I trust, I believe, I love and then another belief is betrayed and I don’t know where I stand or what to do. It’s like I can never win Kevin. Not unless I play the game by my rules. And my rules may be a little out there to some people but they work for me. Kevin: Do they? So then I assume that you have Sonny back? That the two of you are planning your nuptials as we speak? Brenda: You don’t have to be sarcastic. Kevin: I’m trying to help you. You’re very confused. *Very* confused, Brenda. And I can see that you’re mixing a lot of emotions up in your head. You need to clear your head, Brenda. You need to have some true clarity before you make a decision. Brenda: A decision? What decision? Kevin: Come on, who are you kidding here? You want Sonny and you also want Jax. You can’t have it both ways and so you will have to choose. In order to do that and make the decision that’s right for you, you need to be in the right frame of mind. and I can tell you that you’re *not* in it now. Brenda: Well then, what do I do, Kevin? (sadly): You know, all I want is to be happy. That’s *all*. I don’t need all of this damn stress and people thinking I’m some kind of obsessed lunatic! All I want is happiness and peace of mind and peace in my life and love, real and *true* and magical love in my life. A love that won’t ever leave me -- that won’t ever end. That’s all I want. Why can’t I ever have it? Kevin: Maybe it’s because you’re convincing yourself that you can only have it with one person. And that one person is the wrong person . . . . Brenda: But how can it *not* be Sonny? Kevin: Maybe it is, Brenda. But you have to get over the obsession and play on a level playing field in your head in order for you to know that. You can be as happy as you want to be. It’s completely in your hands. Brenda: What should I do? Kevin: You need to get away. Go someplace quiet and realizing. Go by yourself or take a friend, not Sonny and no Jax. A neutral friend. Brenda: Like Lois or Robin? Kevin: Well. . . .I’m not so sure how neutral Robin is, I know she really likes Sonny. And I’m not so sure Lois can be neutral, her and Jax seem very friendly to me so I think she would be in his corner. You need a truly neutral person. Brenda: Maybe, Ruby . . . . Kevin: Whoever. Just do it. And do it now, Brenda. Don’t procrastinate. Brenda: Do I have to do it *now*? You see, I had planned to plant myself in front of Sonny’s place for a week or so and throw myself at him. . . offer to be his mistress you know? Humiliate myself until he takes me back. If I leave now it’ll ruin my plans. Kevin: Offer yourself to be his *mistress?* (Kevin rubs his eyes in disbelief): You *really* need to go. Immediately if not sooner. Brenda: (shrugging): Okay, well you’re the doctor. Kevin: Yes, I am. So go pick a nice little resort, grab a friend and get going. Brenda: Can I call you if I need you? Kevin: Of course. In fact. I want to see you at the end of the week. Brenda: Okay. (she gets up): Thanks, Kevin. And thanks for not saying I’m some total emotional mess even thought I know what’s what you think. Kevin just smiles politely at her and waves as she exits his office. . .
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