"To Depths Unknown"-17-18

by Leslie

"To Depths Unknown"

Chapter 17

Brenda headed back to the cottage with a sense of accomplishment. She had set out to discover who the female voice was that answered Jax's phone, and she had done just that -- she thought.

Meanwhile, Kendall finished preparing dinner and invited Jax to stay. It was a light dinner of pasta salad and garlic bread, but Jax became nauseous at the mere suggestion.

Kendall suggested he go lay down.

"I don't want to go back to the penthouse. I've been in that room all day! How about I just lie on your couch and you and Jensen keep me company?"

"That's fine with me, as long as you're comfortable and we don't disturb you. After dinner, we've got to get cleaned up and then we'll be back, ok?"

Jax said that was fine, and he went and got comfortable on the couch, as much as his condition would allow, at least. The events of the day played over again in his mind -- his and Kendall's talk in the wee hours of the morning, their playfulness in his bedroom with the calamine lotion, and their first kiss. Just the thought of it gave him chills -- or was it the chicken pox? He couldn't tell anymore! Kendall was stirring something deep within him that seemed to be totally out of his control. But he wasn't going to fight it. He was tired of fighting his emotions.

Kendall drew she and Jensen a nice, warm bath. She was exhausted from the events of the day, and decided to join Jensen and try to relax just for a few minutes.

Jensen's blisters had completely scabbed over, and were beginning to heal. She had really breezed through this, and Kendall was so thankful. She watched as Jensen splashed and played in the bath. She's such a happy little girl!

Kendall was thankful for that too. Jensen's father never really spent that much time with her, so she didn't seem to even miss him. That fact both made Kendall sad and eased her mind.

Kendall's mind was full of errant thoughts and she was having trouble relaxing, which she so desperately wanted to do. Her most haunting thought was not of Jax, or even of her ex-husband, Blake, as she would've imagined, but of Brenda. Why am I so worked up about her?? I'm not jealous! I don't even know her -- and I barely even know Jax! So why would I be jealous??

She spent a few moments trying to figure out the root of her discomfort. That's it! she thought. She had my dream!! She had a man who adored her -- would do anything to make her happy! And what did she do? She threw it away! Kendall shook her head, fully aware from her own personal experience, of the pain that must've caused Jax.

Tears filled her eyes as she thought, One person can't carry a relationship, because God knows -- I've tried! It takes two people working hard to show their love and committment to each other and make it work. How can you tell when you find someone who's willing to put forth as much effort as you are? How will I ever overcome the pain to find out? For Kendall, it always came back to this. She believed in love, she just wasn't sure whether she had the strength to keep searching for it. I've got to stop dweliling on this!! So, she sat up, scooped up a cup of water and poured it over Jensen's head as her daughter giggled delightfully.

Distraction Technique #1: Deployed and quite successful!!!

Jensen and Kendall enjoyed the rest of their bath. Kendall got out first, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked tired. She touched her fingers to the dark cirles under her eyes. Suddenly Brenda's image popped back into her mind. She's so beautiful. Her perfectly made up face. Her silky dark hair. And a figure I maybe had when I was sixteen!!! Kendall looked down at her waistline. I bet the supermodel would get stretchmarks just eating a slice of pizza!

Kendall's insecurities could get the better of her sometimes. Like now. She was comfortable with the way she looked. She didn't mind the toll pregnancy and childbirth had taken on her body. She was a "mommy" first and foremost, and she treasured Jensen more than any other thing in her life. "You're obsessing again!" she teased herself.

She dried her hair and washed her face, then put on just a hint of makeup. I don't want to scare Jax. I'll just give nature a little help, she thought with a smile.

Jensen and she got their pj's on, grabbed a couple of books and headed for the kitchen. Jensen carried her new Teddy Bear that Jax had given her and a blanket she slept with every night. Kendall had an armload!

She sat Jensen down on the floor in the kitchen so she could fix her milk.

Jensen had other ideas. She crawled across the floor, blanket and bear in tow, and into the living room. Kendall saw her leave, but knew there was nothing she could get into in there. Besides, Jax is in there, she reminded herself.

Jensen got to her destination -- the couch -- and managed to pull up.

Jax had fallen asleep. Jensen watched him for a minute, very curious about him. Then, she set out to move a little closer. She quietly, with much uncertainty, cruised around the corner of the couch -- hanging on for dear life.

When she'd rounded the corner, she plopped down and pulled her big Teddy Bear and blanket around to her. Then she pulled up again, and slowly inched her way to the other end of the couch, pulling bear and blanket behind every few steps.

Kendall was putting the milk back in the frig when she heard Jensen giggle, and Jax say, "Hey! Who turned out the lights?"

Uh-oh! Kendall ran into the living room, and had to giggle herself when she saw what Jensen had done.

Jax was removing her blanket from over his face. He looked somewhat bewildered, but, looking at Jensen's face, which was beaming with a sense of pride at her feat, he got the picture.

"So, you want to play Peek-A-Boo, do you?" And Jax eased the blanket up over his head -- and would suddenly yank it back down, saying a quick "Peek-A-Boo" each time. The sounds of Jensen's laughter filled the room as Jax continued the game.

After several rounds, Kendall finally intervened, feeling like Jax had probably had enough. "Jensen, it's time for night-night. Do you want to read some books?"

Jensen shook her head no.

Kendall was astonished! Jensen had never turned down that offer before.

"Oh, she's fine, Kendall. Really. She's not bothering me."

"Ok. If you say so." Kendall didn't mind. She was actually enjoying watching the two of them interact.

Jensen was getting tired and the game began to slow. She lifted one chubby little leg, and then the other, managing to hoist herself up on top of Jax, who seemed not to know what to think of this.

Kendall couldn't believe her eyes. She had never seen Jensen be so friendly with anyone, but then again, as she recalled, there was never anyone around to be friendly with. Their's had been a rather isolated existence.

Jax, although in great discomfort, didn't seem to mind her pressence on his chest. He was glad she had taken to him. He hadn't been around too many children, and he wasn't sure of what to do with them or how they would react to him.

Jensen started grunting and reaching her hand out.

Kendall jumped up, "She must be ready for bed. I'll get her."

"I don't think that's it," Jax said. "I think she's wanting this bear." Jax extended his arm to grab her bear, and as it drew closer, Jensen made the sweetest noises. "See, I told you. She wanted her bear! I guess I'm not so ignorant about children after all," he said, looking to Kendall for approval.

"No, not at all! Here," she said, handing him a book and Jensen's milk. "Maybe she'll let you read to her."

Jax repositioned himself, Jensen and "Mr. Bear" so that they could sit up and read. Jensen began drinking her milk, and Jax began reading her story, "Goodnight Moon. Never read this one. Is it a good one?"

Jensen shook her head no. Jax laughed. "Oh, I bet it's a fine one! Let's see." He opened the book and began to read, 'In the great green room there's a telephone and a red balloon . . . "

Kendall's eyes were fixated on the two of them. She almost couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her heart felt full. Jensen had been without a man, a daddy, in her life, and, for this brief moment, Jax had filled a gap for her. But Jax can't fill that gap forever, Kendall reminded herself. Just for now.

" . . . . goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere." * Jax's voice was so soft, it was barely audible to anyone but Jensen, who had become entranced in the story.

Kendall went to retrieve her daughter. She picked up the bear, the blanket, and then Jensen, who immediately laid her head down on Kendall's shoulder. "Say night-night to Jax," she told Jensen, who didn't respond.

"G'night, Jensen." Jax spoke so tenderly to her.

They began to walk toward the bedroom, and as they did, Jensen began to grunt and whimper.

"What is it sweetie?" Kendall asked.

Jensen held out her hand towards the couch.

"Maybe she wants to kiss me goodnight," Jax suggested with that dimpled grin that took Kendall's breath away.

"Who could blame her?" returned Kendall, throwing back a smile that let Jax know she was remembering their own kiss.

Kendall carried Jensen back over to the couch and knelt down beside Jax. Jensen tugged on her bear. Kendall held it up for her, not sure of her purpose. Jensen pushed Mr. Bear towards Jax.

"You want me to have this?" Jax questioned.

Jensen just nodded.

"Are you sure?" Jax asked again.

Again, Jensen nodded in agreement, then laid her head back down on her mother's shoulder.

Jax and Kendall just looked at each other, touched by Jensen's show of affection towards Jax.

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Subj: "To Depths Unknown" - Chapter 18

"To Depths Unknown"

Chapter 18

Kendall returned to find Jax still propped up, gazing at the Teddy Bear Jensen had entrusted to him.

"Your daughter's quite charming," Jax said.

"I'd say she thinks the same of you."

"What does her mother think?" Jax watched her closely to gauge her reaction.

Kendall sat down in a chair beside the fireplace and pulled her bare legs up under her robe. "Her mother is glad Jensen found someone whose company she enjoys."

"You're ducking my question."

"It's a loaded question."

"Is it?" Jax was still eyeing her, which was making her more uncomfortable than she'd like to admit. "I guess you're right. Let me rephrase the question. Do you enjoy my company as much as Jensen seems to?"

"Oh, sure, I enjoy a good round of Peek-A-Boo every now and then! What are you getting at?"

"You haven't been very far from my thoughts today," Jax admitted. "I'm ready to get out from under this blasted illness and for life to get back to normal. And, when it does, I'm hoping that you'll grant me the pleasure of your company outside of our 'infirmary'. Maybe I could show you around Port Charles, take you to dinner at our finest eatery, get you acquainted with the area? . . . . You're not saying anything." Jax grimaced.

"You haven't given me the chance! You're beginning to sound like . . . . "

"Don't even say it!" Jax stopped her. "I may have to take a vow of silence if I ever start running on like V!"

Distraction Technique #1: Deployed and right on target!!!

"I thought those were just for monks," Kendall laughed.

"I feel like a monk these days! But I look more like a leper!" Jax said as he examined the condition of his skin. "Isn't there something that will take care of this?"

"Time," Kendall told him.

"Time and a little TLC?" Jax gave her a pleading look. "Dare I ask for another dose of calamine?"

A smile broke across Kendall's face, "You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you?"

"I'm serious. I'm suffering here, and I really could use your help. And don't pull out that pink stuff, because I'm fully aware that they make a clear variety!"

"Curses, foiled again!!" She snapped her fingers and tried really hard to look disappointed. "I'm sorry. I'll get what you need."

Kendall went to the bathroom adn returned with a bottle of Tylenol, a glass of water and some clear calamine lotion. "Take this," she instructed, handing him two Tylenol tablets. Then she asked him to lean up and take his shirt off, so that she could put the calamine on his back.

He complied, and she began to coat his back. She had an overwhelming sense of "Deja Vu".

"That's cold!" Jax's voice startled her, bringing her back to reality. "Where do you store that stuff -- in the frig??"

"It's not cold -- it's just that your skin is extremely hot! You must be running a fever."

"That explains the achiness then." Jax dropped his head forward, attempting to stretch his neck muscles. The soreness he had felt earlier in the day had returned full force.

Kendall continued to coat his back and started on his arms. Despite his weakened state, his arms felt stronger than any she had ever touched.

Jax was growing weaker by the minute. He hardly had the strength to hold himself up. Kendall moved to his side so that he could lean back. He laid there, almost lifeless, with his eyes closed.

Kendall was beginning to get worried. This had been such a sudden change. "Jax," she waited for a reaction. There was none. "Jax!"

"Yeah, I'm here," he spoke without opening his eyes.

"You're worrying me. Tell me what you need."

"Sleep. I just need to sleep."

"Well, we need to get you to your own bed. You can't sleep here."

"I don't think I can move, let alone climb those stairs. I'll just sleep here."

"Jax, you can't sleep here! You won't be comfortable."

"I'm more comfortable when I don't move, and I can't really picture you carrying me up the stairs," he laughed weakly.

Kendall took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay, but I don't think you're going to be happy with that decision. For crying out loud, Jax, you can't even stretch your legs out! Do you think you can make it back to my room?"

"Why, Kendall, are you trying to take advantage of me?" Jax's attempt at humor was completely lost on Kendall, who was extremely concerned about him.

"Jax! This isn't the time! Come on, try to get up and you can sleep in my bed. I'll be fine on the couch, I'm shorter than you are!"

"Kendall, I can't do . . . . "

"Yes, you can! And, you will!"

"Yes, maam!"

Jax reluctantly got up and "followed orders". He walked very slowly, the stiffness hindering his every move. Kendall walked beside him, in case he couldn't make it. They made it to her bed, and Kendall barely had time to pull the covers all the way back before Jax collapsed into in. He nested down into her pillow, and breathed in her scent. Jasmine and honey, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Kendall covered him up and left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

On second thought, she decided, I'll leave the door open . . . in case he

needs me . . . .

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